How To Sexually Attract Men: Eight Tips For Making Yourself Irresistible

Updated October 21, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

If you’ve ever been attracted to a man, it’s likely you’ve wondered whether they had the same feelings. Although it can be challenging to tell whether a man is also attracted to you, sometimes focusing on what you can control can be more productive. What is often in your control is how you present yourself to others. If you’d like to sexually attract the men who appeal to you, you may be able to highlight some qualities that scientific research shows to increase perceived attractiveness. While all men are different and find various individuals attractive, you may discover some things that increase your self-confidence, attractiveness, or ability to connect with others. In this article, we’ll be giving eight different tips for capturing the attention of the men who have caught your eye. 

A woman in workout clothes met eye-to-eye with a man while running.
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Everyone has different standards of attraction

What things can enhance your attractiveness? 

Many people find themselves grappling with self-consciousness and challenges with finding romantic partners. While you don’t need to change yourself to find someone who’s attracted to you for who you are, there are some things that researchers suggest may increase the success of mate attraction. Here are eight of them: 

  1. Try to be kind and nurturing

Evolutionary psychology suggests that people primarily search for partners to find a mate who will successfully create offspring and help to raise them. Outside of physical features, having positive personality attributes (such as kindness, honesty, humility, and strong work ethic) consistently predicts higher perceived attractiveness compared with negative attributes (like meanness or self-serving behavior). 

  1. Radiate youthfulness

You cannot change your age, but there’s a difference between being young and being youthful. Being youthful is simply exemplifying the behaviors and characteristics of young people. Youthfulness has more to do with your attitude and demeanor. Many men may prefer youthful, social, exciting, and spontaneous individuals

Even if you are on the older side, you can adapt to these behaviors to become more attractive to men. Instead of following societal rules about how you ‘should’ act at your age, do what feels right. This could mean following trends, taking the time to groom yourself, being open to new experiences, or viewing the world with more optimism than instead of pessimism. 

However, it can be important to remember to remain authentic to the person that you are. Your genuine character may be more likely to attract men than a false persona.

  1. Be confident

Confidence has regularly been shown through research to be one of the most attractive traits a person can have. 

Confidence begins with understanding your self-worth, believing that you deserve a positive relationship, and being proud of what you could bring to another person. First, know what you want. If you meet a man who doesn’t meet your expectations, they may just not be the right match. 

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  1.  Show your interest

Nearly everyone wants to be noticed, seen, and heard. If you’re interested in a man, giving them your attention and showing a genuine interest in them may improve their perception of you. If they’re interested in you, showing your interest in them will likely increase how attractive you are to them. 

You can show your interest in someone by improving your active listening skills. To do this, consider asking them questions about themselves, asking follow-up questions, showing signs that you’re listening to them, maintain eye contact, and not interrupting while they’re speaking. Other things, like hand gestures or appropriate physical contact (such as a light touch of their hand or shoulder), can also signal your genuine interest in them. 

  1. Raise your shoulders and arch your back

Arching your back reflects lordosis behavior, a postural reflex which may be seen as a psychological cue. Naturally, men may be looking for indications that someone is interested in them and will sexually receive them. Seeing you arch your back and raise your shoulders can make you appear sexually attractive because a man may feel that you were signaling to them whether they realize it or not. 

  1. Smile

Smiling and eye contact can attract a man. A smile is warm and welcoming, giving others an invitation to approach and start a conversation with you. If a man feels intimidated by you, they may hesitate to come up to you to talk. Smiling in their direction can give them the encouragement they need to approach you. It is also a sign of trustworthiness, interest, and comfort , which can be important qualities to have if you decide to enter a relationship with them. 

  1. Get some exercise 

Exercise can do many things, including boast physical health, mental health, and self-confidence. Exercise can also improve self-esteem and self-perceived attractiveness, which studies show can increase your attractiveness in the eyes of potential romantic interests

  1. Prioritize your mental health

If you’re unhappy with your attractiveness, you might find more benefit by improving your mental health rather than your physical appearance, according to some studies. Good mental health can improve your self-esteem and self-perception of your attractiveness, as well as how others view you. 

A woman in workout clothes sits on a bech next to a man as they smile and talk with one another.
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Everyone has different standards of attraction

Online counseling with Regain

If you’re having trouble attracting the type of love, affection, or attention you’d like in your life, it could be helpful to confide in an online counselor. Regain provides counseling services to individuals and couples who are experiencing a wide range of problems. Whether you need help developing more effective communication strategies or improving your confidence levels, a therapist can work with you to achieve those goals. Through video chats, phone calls, or in-app messaging, you can connect with your therapist from anywhere you have an internet connection. Online therapy can make it easier, more convenient, and more affordable to get the mental health support you desire. 

The effectiveness of online counseling 

Finding someone attractive doesn’t guarantee they’ll return your feelings or advances. Rejection can be difficult, even leading to mental health concerns like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. According to research, each of these can be successfully managed and treated in online counseling. In one study specifically, researchers found that an online counseling program was just as effective as a face-to-face intervention in reducing psychological distress. Those in the online counseling group experienced a reduction in their symptoms of depression, anxiety, and interpersonal sensitivity

Takeaway

What makes a person attractive can vary from person to person. While there are steps you can take to try to attract a man, building confidence in yourself might be the best strategy. It can be disheartening to experience rejection, especially if you are really into someone. However, these moments can create learning opportunities and set you up for greater success in the future. Therapy can be a valuable resource if you’d like to explore the psychology of attraction more deeply. A Regain therapist can work with you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as they relate to dating, sexuality, and relationships. Being more aware of these aspects of yourself can help you discover and attract whatever you may be searching for. 

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