Social Media Tips: How To Stop Liking Someone When You Are In A Relationship
When you are in a relationship, having feelings for someone else can be stressful. You may wish to “turn off” your feelings, but there is usually no easy, simple way to stop thinking about the other person. Situations like these are typical and often remain harmless when they’re not acted upon.
But in cases where an individual acts upon those feelings, whether consciously or not, it can cause pain for everyone involved. Cheating to most people is equivalent to a betrayal of trust and an inherently selfish decision that involves sacrificing a relationship's integrity for feelings that may be temporary.
If you’re in a relationship with someone you care about but have romantic feelings for another, there are ways to temper your feelings to deter the temptation to cheat.
Tips on how to stop liking someone when you are in a relationship
Here are eight tips that can help when you like someone who’s not the person you’re in a relationship with:
Understand there is nothing wrong with you
First, if you have feelings for someone other than your partner, understand you’re not alone. Relationship studies suggest that one in five people report having serious feelings for someone else. Of course, while it’s reasonable to be attracted to other people, it is different when you choose to act on that attraction.
Every situation differs according to context—and some people choose to be in consensually non-monogamous relationships. While being attracted in someone else may be beyond your control, the decision to remain faithful to your partner is within your control.
Acknowledge your feelings
When solving a problem, the first thing to do is acknowledge that it exists. When trying to get over someone, the best way to begin is to confront your feelings instead of pretending you don’t have them. When you can acknowledge your feelings, you can explore why you’re feeling them—for example, it might be exciting to experience attraction to someone new, or you might be attracted to someone else because you’re frustrated by your current relationship.
Suppressed emotions tend to become more intense over time, which can harm your physical and psychological health. Repressed emotions oftentimes don’t make the feeling disappear; they only increase the adverse effects, including stress-related illnesses, anxiety, or depression.
Consider the consequences
When you are in a monogamous long-term relationship, your decisions typically cease to be solely about what you want. You may need to factor in your partner's feelings, especially in situations that can jeopardize your relationship's integrity. If you have children with your partner, you may also need to consider how your actions will affect them.
Don’t make comparisons
Your partner will probably never be perfect but comparing them to the other person could magnify your partner’s flaws and inadequacies to the point where the idea of cheating on them seems justifiable. Instead, focus on why you fell in love with your partner, your memories together, and how much they mean to you. You could even write about their most endearing attributes to remind yourself of how special they are.
If you want to avoid making comparisons, it may also be a good idea to stop following the person you’re interested in on social media. Alternatively, you may be able to “mute” their posts, so you don’t see them.
The best compliment you can give your partner is to respect them, but when you start judging them by unrealistic standards influenced by your feelings for someone else, you may lose a sense of your partner’s worth.
Distance yourself from the person, including on social media
When people develop feelings for someone, it’s often because they spend a lot of time together. Limit your interactions with this person as best as possible, and refrain from sending messages or engaging with them on social media. If you cannot find the emotional and mental resolve to avoid them, it may be hard to resist sexual advances should they arise. Cultivating an attitude of restraint to stop liking someone you don’t want to usually involves finding ways to stop talking to them. You don’t necessarily have to be hostile or rude in your approach. Still, set emotional and personal boundaries that firmly establish certain gestures or remarks from them will no longer be tolerated by you.
Spend time with your partner
Dating your partner may be one of the best ways to neutralize your feelings for someone else. You can arrange a surprise romantic dinner, go to a concert, go to a sporting event—whatever you enjoy doing together. Find creative ways to spend time alone with your partner and rekindle your romance. According to a 2017 study published by Harvard University, investing in your relationship can go a long way toward improving your health.
Make your partner the priority in your mind. The more quality time you spend in your partner's company, the less you might find yourself fantasizing or seeking something else. Keep your phone away if it causes a distraction or impedes your ability to have meaningful conversations with them during these moments. Treat these bonding sessions as a way to renew your commitment and let their affection remind you why you need to hold on to them.
Put an end to thinking about the other person
One of the first techniques to doing this is to think about other people—your family, friends, partner, children—and other things—work, your favorite meal, a memorable childhood experience. Replace the discomforting thought of this person with powerful ones that give you peace of mind. The aim is not to forget the person but to reduce their importance in your mind.
If you’ve noticed that certain situations trigger thoughts of this person, write them down, and then find ways to either avoid or redefine what those situations mean to you. These situations may come in words, images, songs, mannerisms, and sometimes even a particular place. When you can think about these things without the other person coming to mind during the process, it makes it difficult for you to see them the way you used to.
Learn how to stop liking someone when you are in a relationship
Communication is an essential part of any relationship. Before you talk about your feelings for someone else, consider how your partner will likely cope with that knowledge and proceed with caution. If your partner is likely to react strongly or become resentful, it may reveal things about the nature of your relationship, both positive and negative, that you hadn’t considered before.
Most people have romantic feelings for someone else from time-to-time while in romantic, monogamous relationships. Having a partner that allows you to express yourself freely can empower you to be honest with your feelings. If that’s the situation in your relationship, being open with your partner could help to destigmatize these feelings, build greater trust and openness, and ultimately reduce the number of obsessive thoughts about others.
Can online therapy help?
With online therapy platforms like Regain, you can speak to a professional from the comfort of your home on your schedule. Online therapy is available via in-app messaging, video chat, and phone and is often more affordable than traditional counseling without insurance. A growing body of research suggests that online therapy is as effective as conventional counseling, with both couples and individuals reporting overall satisfaction with the results and greater adherence to treatment plans.
Relationships are often complex, and we may find ourselves in situations that require thoughtful decision-making and delicate communication. Developing feelings for someone else is one of those situations. If you’re ready to work towards a happier, more balanced relationship with your partner, an online therapy professional can help.
Takeaway
If you’re in a committed relationship and thinking about others, there are many possible underlying reasons. For example, you might be thinking about other people because you’re dissatisfied with your relationship, you’re bored, or this person has something to offer that your current partner doesn’t.
If you’re thinking about someone else, you don’t have to address it on your own. Couple’s therapy can be an effective way to open communication channels and explore the difficulties you face in your relationship together.
Regain therapy reviews
“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”
“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”
How do I stop liking my crush in real life or on social media?
When you have a crush, or even have strong romantic feelings over someone, it is not always easy to just stop liking them. Sometimes, you may find yourself developing feelings for one of your close friends or even your best friend, but you might also realize it’s best to avoid putting yourself in a situation that could jeopardize the friendship and start setting boundaries.
But do not beat yourself up if you do have a crush. In life, it is normal sometimes to have a crush even if you are dating someone else. Acknowledge that you have these feelings but try to invest more time in your current relationship before you completely lose focus. Spend time with your family more often, talk to your significant other, and have a trusted friend or therapist you can confide in. Try to cut contact with your crush to control unwanted feelings, sometimes out of sight, out of mind. Don’t talk to them if necessary moving forward . But if you feel comfortable you can have one-on-one time with a therapist or confidant to discuss these things. You can work through ways to overcome the crush and stay friends, moving forward. Setting boundaries can help you focus on controlling your unwanted feelings. If you feel you can’t stop liking your crush even if you are already in a romantic relationship and choose to act on these feelings, then it becomes cheating. However, seeking emotional support from a trusted family member or close friend can help you address these feelings and prioritize your mental well-being as you navigate this challenging situation. Better yet, talk to a therapist and find productive ways to deal with this situation.
How do you stop liking someone so much?
Sometimes we like someone so much regardless of their relationship status because of their positive qualities. It could be your best friend or someone from your close friends, but we might really want to stop liking them. Having a new crush can bring a surprising sense of motivation and excitement. It might inspire you to reflect on your real feelings and consider how this new person fits into your life moving forward. While these emotions can be thrilling, they may also be part of a grieving process for unmet desires or challenges in your current relationship. Hence, it is often better to stay friends and focus on controlling your feelings if you are already in a relationship.
You might want to uncover why these emotions are coming up, before it turns into strong romantic feelings. Unfortunately, there is no easy, simple way to stop liking someone, especially if it involves someone close such as your best friend. First, acknowledge these feelings so you can finally stop them, which can be good for your mental health. When we think about someone or something so much, we often romanticize it and make them bigger in our heads than they are. Again, it’s often better to stay friends and focus on your present relationship than to complicate things.
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time and you’re pining over someone else, it may be because we always want what we can’t have. You may not actually like them as much as you think you do. Sometimes we like someone so much because they don’t like us back and it becomes about the chase. However, we also need to consider how this impacts our mental health. Do you really like this person so much because of their positive qualities, or do you want them because you can’t be with them? In the end, maybe it’s just better to stay friends, moving forward. There are ways to stop liking someone by setting boundaries and focusing on other things in your life. Put more energy into your partner and the relationship you have with them. It may be time to show your relationship a little love or join couples therapy or family therapy and rekindle the romance. Start with setting boundaries with your crush, and focus on building a strong support system with your partner or family. Remove contact with the person that you like so much.It’s easier said than done, but the less you see a person, often the less you think about them, which consequently impacts your future interactions. Eventually, you will stop liking this person so much and regain focus on your present partner.
How do you stop having feelings for someone?
There are many reasons that you would stop having feelings for someone even if that someone is one of your friends or your best friend. Negative thoughts can creep in when you realize your partner may have qualities or habits you dislike. Sometimes we stop liking someone after we really get to know them, and they are different than we thought they were, leading to more negative thoughts about compatibility or shared values. Other times we like someone and the feeling could be more than just friends despite being in a relationship, and we don’t want to like them anymore for many reasons. Maybe they aren’t treating you how you’d like to be treated, but you can’t stop having feelings. Possibly you want a relationship, and they don’t. They want to stay friends with you or not at all. Or maybe you have lifestyle differences.However, it’s important to consider your existing relationship before acting on a crush that you have outside of it.. So, maybe you remove that person from your life and focus on just your existing relationship and strengthening your bond. If you’re having difficulties getting over someone because you still have strong feelings for them or you’re going through the healing process, it could be beneficial to get expert support from a therapist or a relationship expert. It will make a big difference in how you feel.
A therapist can help you focus on your present relationship and find productive ways to set boundaries with your friends or other people in your life. Through therapy, you can talk about your feelings openly so you can develop a new skill in self-reflection and explore new hobbies. Remember that in life, there are people who deserve to remain friends while others may be better suited for different roles in your life.
Can you suddenly stop liking someone?
There is always a turning point when you realize you stop liking someone. It could be due to lifestyle differences or you’ve developed strong feelings for other guys or girls. Maybe you’ve been in a nasty breakup and you feel scared. Sometimes something unpleasant will happen that really turns you off and makes you feel awful. Or you simply don’t want to talk at all. Other times, it could be many little things that make you stop liking someone, just as it happens in other relationships or even with old friends, so avoid putting the blame on just one person. It is also possible that you have a new crush or subconsciously, or slowly, you stop thinking about this person earlier than you even realize, especially if your feelings toward them weren’t developing in a romantic way. Moving forward, this awareness can help you reflect on your well-being and what you seek in the dating pool or your next relationship. It’s a process that applies not just to romantic connections but also to new friends and old friends alike, as we all navigate relationships in the same way to some extent.
If you’re in a relationship and you realize you suddenly stopped liking them, it may be time to accept that and have an honest conversation with your partner and talk about the future of your relationship although it can be a difficult process. It’s important to reflect on your emotions and whether you still feel comfortable in the relationship or if your feelings for your partner have faded into something else, for example, an unrequited love for someone else. It is easy to get sucked into the comfortability of a relationship, prioritizing it over other things, but recognizing this is also part of the process of understanding what you truly need. Unfortunately, it doesn’t mean you’re meant to stay together, no matter how much time you feel, or spend together, or all the reasons you once thought the relationship would work. It could be time to accept that the relationship has come to an end and to focus on how to avoid things that no longer serve your well-being as you move forward. In the end, choosing the right thing will make you feel better.
How do you tell if my crush is thinking about me?
Of course, we can’t read people’s minds, but there are signs that your crush may be thinking about you. And you will feel it. If you want to know whether your crush is thinking about you, focus on these signs. Maybe they randomly message you and ask you if you’ve seen a new tv show but despite the simple gesture, you feel giddy. Your crush may be finding an excuse to reach out and talk to you. They may share a video tutorial with you about something you mentioned you wanted to learn and explore a new skill together—little things like this show that you are on their mind. When your crush consistently makes these small but thoughtful gestures, it’s a clear sign they’re paying attention to you. It’s these moments that reveal how much your crush values your connection even if they talk explicitly about their feelings, and its important to recognize if their attention makes you feel happy or not.
How do you tell if your crush likes you?
You may be wondering if the person you have a crush on likes you. If they haven't outright told you, there may be subtle signs that they’re into you and you can easily feel them. If they find excuses to text you, talk to you, or ask you to hang out, there’s a good chance they might like you. When you’re together, if you feel that they seem to touch you often accidentally, or if you feel that they stare at you a lot, or if you feel at ease, these are all good signs.
There are many other ways to tell if your crush likes you. For instance, if your crush has a great sense of humor or a great sense of care when they are with you or tries to spend more time with you, it might mean they like you.
Another way to tell if your crush likes you too is that they might remind you of the little things in life you’ve shared, and find a way to spend more quality time or explore new hobbies with you even if they have other commitments. Sometimes, even subtle actions, like how they smile when you're around or care for your mental health and your life, can remind you of how special they find your connection. You would also notice them finding a lot of ways to talk to you but at the same time, you’d feel that having small talk is also nice.
Other frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Here are some more FAQs:
- Why do we avoid someone we like?
- Can a guy ignore a girl he likes?
- Does ignoring someone make them want you more?
- What do men think when you ignore?
If your questions were not answered in this article, you can use the search bar to find other articles about relationships.
- Previous Article
- Next Article