Five Common Types Of Attraction And What They Mean
When most people think about the word attraction, they likely think about sexual or romantic attraction. However, there are many different types of attraction, each significant in different ways.
For humans, attraction can lead to deep connections with others, which is vital to our health and well-being. It’s often the origin of our relationships (both friendships and romantic relationships) and can determine whom we surround ourselves with.
Within each relationship comes a different dynamic where a particular type of attraction is prominent. Understanding these various forms of attraction can help you navigate relationships throughout your life. In this post, we’ll examine some of the different types of attraction and what they mean.
Five common types of attraction
While feelings of attraction are often more nuanced than fit into a specific category, five types of attraction seem to be more common than others:
Romantic attraction
This is one of the most common forms of attraction. Romantic attraction refers, in this case, to the desire to be in a romantic relationship with another individual. It can often be confused with sexual attraction, but it is different. Instead of only being about physical intimacy, romantic attraction includes a primary interest in who the other person is on the inside. This specific type of attraction encompasses the desire to have a deep and emotional relationship with that other individual, which extends beyond just the physical aspects.
Emotional attraction
Humans have a need for companionship with people they can feel comfortable with. This is where emotional attraction comes into play. When we feel emotionally attracted to someone, we want to know them better and share with them personal things about ourselves. When you can be open about what's on your mind with other people and share information about your life, hopes, dreams, desires, and more, it contributes to feelings of wellness and mental stability and perhaps deepens the emotional attraction even more.
Sensual attraction
This is also known as physical attraction and involves the five senses. When we want to touch someone and/or enjoy how they look, smell, and feel, it’s a form of sensual attraction. This type of attraction often accompanies other forms. Sensual attraction is not the same as sexual attraction, even though it can involve physical contact as its primary form of expression. Sexual attraction includes sensual attraction, but sensual attraction doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual in nature.
Some people feel sensually attracted to another in a completely platonic way, in the sense that they enjoy hugging, holding hands, and “snuggling,” such as with close family, friends, etc. Science tells us that we enjoy these interactions on a chemical level and, like emotional connection, need them to maintain well-being.
Sexual attraction
This is one of the most common forms of attraction and can be easily confused with romantic/emotional interest. Sexual attraction is when a person wants to be sexual or partake in sexual activities with another individual. This attraction type can exist alone or coexist with romantic attraction. This may be a common form of attraction and the easiest to pinpoint when figuring out your feelings toward another person, because it may be based on physical appearance. Still, there are far more factors involved in feeling drawn to somebody in addition to this essential and instinctual type of attraction. The impulse and wish to be intimate with someone are where sexual attraction comes into play. Still, it can exist as a form all on its own or even be combined with other forms of attraction, such as those present in certain relationships. You do not have to have emotional feelings or any other kind of attraction to be sexually attracted to someone.
Aesthetic attraction
Aesthetic attraction is when someone finds pleasure in another individual's structure or physique, as with their favorite artwork or music album. This attraction type often accompanies sexual attraction and can be easily confused as such. It is important to clearly state that it is possible to be attracted to an individual without wanting anything romantic or sexual. Aesthetic attraction also provides benefits such as providing inspiration and boosting our mood. Aesthetic attraction can influence why people will choose where to live or whom to pair with as a life partner. The things we are esthetically attracted to often make us unique and can stimulate positive feelings of joy and comfort when we are exposed to them.
Attraction can be complicated
The nature of attraction can be unpredictable, and often, we don’t have control over our attraction to others. To complicate matters further, we don’t have control over others’ attraction toward us. Because of this, miscommunication and difficulties may arise between people. Life happens, and feelings change, especially those involved in our relationships with other people.
For example, consider the friends that you may have had in high school and how you have changed over the years since you left. Are you in touch and closely bonded with them like you were before? Some people may be able to maintain these relationships. Still, many folks go in separate directions with their own goals to pursue-- be it job-related, family-related, etc. You have probably also made new friends you’re close to since those times. It's normal for the different types of attraction you feel for people to change.
Experiencing all forms of attraction can be difficult, but it’s also one of the most critical parts of the human experience. Without attraction, we may not develop or keep the bonds we form with others, and we may not experience the joy and pleasure that often accompanies it.
Explore attraction in online therapy
The nature of attraction is such that it can cause complications between individuals and in relationships. It can also elicit strong feelings that may be difficult to process and cope with. If you have trouble forming relationships, difficulty processing attraction, or your feelings of attraction hinder your daily life in other ways, consider seeking support from a professional for guidance. This professional input can help you understand what you may need to form healthy relationships with others and feel comfortable with the people around you.
Counseling has many benefits for mental health and well-being, but some people don’t reach out for help. Some people feel they don’t have time to attend appointments during the busy work week. Many assume they can’t afford therapy or it won’t work for them.
With the increasing popularity of online therapy, more people have access to help than ever before. Platforms like Regain help connect people with mental health professionals with experience helping people in matters of dating, intimacy, relationships, and individual growth. You can meet an online therapist according to your schedule anywhere with a reliable internet connection via text, phone, online messaging, and video chat.
Online therapy is often more affordable than traditional therapy without insurance, and a growing body of research indicates it’s as effective. For example, three meta-analyses from 2018, 2019, and 2020 examined patient satisfaction and adherence to treatment for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), solution-focused brief therapy, and cognitive processing therapy for various mental health issues. The findings reported that patients were as satisfied with treatment online as in person and were, in some cases, more likely to stick with a treatment plan.
Takeaway
A deeper understanding of your feelings can establish better relationships and overall mental well-being. A professional counselor at Regain can help you put your feelings of attraction into perspective and cultivate a more well-balanced daily life.
FAQs
What are the 5 types of attraction?
At different times in our lives, we come across people that make us feel a certain type of way we have not felt before; talking with them has butterflies fluttering in our stomachs, and we can spend all day listening to them talk and watching them smile. When this happens, we are said to be romantically attracted to them. While this might be true many times more than not, it is not always romantic as there are other forms/types of attraction or ways to experience attraction.
They are:
- Romantic Attraction: This is one of the most common forms of attraction. Romantic attraction refers, in this case, to longing to be in a romantic relationship with another individual. It can often be confused with sexual attraction but is not the same, as being romantically attracted to someone does not necessitate a romantic relationship.
- Platonic Attraction: With this form of attraction, emotional attraction is nonexistent. This means that when you are platonically attracted to someone, you leave no room, nor do you entertain thoughts that could evolve into a romantic, sexual or sensual entanglement. This is most often the case when you value another individual's company but are unwilling to make it anything more.
- Sensual attraction: This is also known as physical attraction, and this is when you constantly want to hold hands, receive/give warm hugs, and sometimes kiss a certain individual but nothing more than that. This type of attraction can coexist with other forms and can evolve into a romantic attraction.
- Sexual attraction: This is one of the most common forms of attraction and can be easily confused with romantic/emotional attraction. The sexual attraction is when a person wants to be sexual or partake in sexual activities with another individual. This attraction type can exist alone or coexist with romantic attraction.
- Aesthetic attraction: Aesthetic attraction is when someone finds pleasure in another individual's structure or physique as they would with their favorite artwork or music album. This attraction type often accompanies sexual attraction and can be easily confused as such. It is important to clearly state that it is possible to be attracted to an individual without wanting anything romantic or sexual.
What are the four types of attractions?
There are times the attraction you feel towards another person would not align to the five listed above from experience. Romantic attraction, Sensual attraction aside, other forms of attraction intercept the above listed to give four other unique attraction types. These are:
- Emotional Attraction: Emotional attraction is one of the most difficult to explain as to how it is expressed varies from person to person. The simplest way to describe this attraction type is in situations where you find yourself open and vulnerable to discussing important issues with another individual you are not sexually or romantically involved with. There are some things on your mind that you can not readily with all and sundry, but when you find yourself talking freely with someone else, it can be said that you are emotionally attracted to the said individual.
- Intellectual Attraction: The attraction refers to people that consider intelligence a deal-breaker and would be unable to create a connection they do not consider intelligent. This form of attraction intercepts emotional attraction because people often discuss important matters with people they consider capable of contributing intelligently. To people that experience attraction in this form, hearing how other people talk and their mannerisms is enough to get them attracted.
- Uniattraction: This is when you feel a strong attraction to another individual for long periods and, in some cases, your entire lifetime, without any romantic attraction or being romantically attracted to them. It could be your friend you have always known or a love interest that has simmered down through the years, but with you still having that soft spot for the individual in question.
- Alterous Attraction: This is also known as a queerplatonic relationship, and it is borderline between being romantically attracted or being platonically attracted without really being either. This attraction type sees you feel a deep emotional connection to someone else, many ways like friendship but more intense. When you’re alterously attracted to an individual, you confide in them more and with them things you might not ordinarily with your friend.
What are signs of attraction?
Be it intellectual attraction, sensual attraction, or if you experience romantic attraction. Certain tell-tale signs of attraction give you away no matter how much you try to hide the fact. These signs include but are not limited to the following:
Blushing and Flushed Skin: Although people blush when they are angry, depending on the context, our faces flush from excitement or an adrenaline rush.
Dilated Pupils: Your pupil dilates to allow light in your eye and help your eye focus, but it can also be a sign of excitement and, in this case, romantic/sexual excitement.
Body Language: For this, you would need to know how to read people as they often give signs of interest or attraction in their posture and other body gestures.
Mirroring Your Behavior: When someone is attracted to you, there is a high possibility that they would subconsciously mirror your actions. If put under the microscope, it could be noticed that some of your behaviors and mannerisms have been adopted.
What is an attraction in a relationship?
Attraction in a relationship is often a host of different forms of attractions jumbled into one. To be in a relationship with someone else, you may experience romantic attraction towards them, and If the relationship is sexual, you would be sexually attracted to them. People have different reasons for entering into a relationship, one of which could be an intellectual attraction.
What attracts a man to a woman at first sight?
It is difficult to say, as individuals have their different reasons why they are attracted to people. But in a recent survey, the showed that people are more likely to show interest in people for their personality. People in the survey swung towards intellectual attraction as their first cue towards being romantically or sexually attracted to someone else.
Can you fall in love without physical attraction?
People have different reasons for falling in love; what different people want from their relationship or partner differ by person or relationship. It is possible to find someone sexually attractive and not consider them physically attractive. And some people might find that intellectual attraction suffices in their relationship and is more than enough for them to experience romantic attraction.
What are the three types of attraction?
There are other forms of attractions that are uncommon but still as important as the others before listed. These forms represent the freedom in our society, and they involve different but unique ways people can be attracted to each other. They are:
- Social Attraction: People in this category experience attraction in a way similar to physical attraction, only that when you touch or are touched, it is with no sexual intention. This situation exists when you are attracted to likable people and are around someone with interesting social vibes, and you want to be around them.
- Attraction: attraction in the form of attraction an individual has towards a pet, child, or person might need help. People who experience this form of attraction are always needed. They are always available and often go out of their way to cater to the needs or find solutions to other people's challenges.
- Panromantic attraction: This attraction type is typical in people capable of being romantically attracted to all gender identities. This should not be confused with being attached to everyone but rather having the ability to experience romantic attraction with other individuals regardless of their gender identity. Panromantic attraction should not be confused with pansexual attraction.
What attracts a man to a woman physically?
For each, their own, which is why it is difficult or nearly impossible to categorize what people might consider physically or even sexually attractive. But a recent survey has shown that people are likely to consider individuals with alluring eyes and unique facial features physically or sexually attractive.
Is attraction a choice?
At what age are boys attracted to girls?
What do these forms of attraction feel like?
What are the common reasons why we feel attraction towards another?
Can attraction progress to something deeper?
Why is attraction not the same for everyone?
What do you do if you feel strongly attracted to someone who is not for you?
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