What To Do When Your Partner Has No Interest In Sex At All

It’s no secret that sex can be an important part of most relationships. Traditionally, couples use sex as a way to express their love for one another. It’s also something that can satisfies certain physical needs or urges that people have. What can you do when your partner has no interest in sex at all, though? This can be a difficult position to be in when you truly love someone. After all, you may not want to abstain from sexual activity, but you also want to be supportive of your partner’s wishes. When your partner doesn’t have an interest in sex, there can be a number of different explanations. Getting your relationship back on track often involves getting to the root of the problem and effectively addressing it. 

Determining the cause

One of the most crucial steps you can take when your partner stops showing interest in having sex is attempting to determine the root cause. There are many different reasons your significant other could be feeling differently about sex. Perhaps they’re experiencing high stress levels, are tired from working long hours, or have been feeling self-conscious lately. Maybe they are struggling with a mental health concern like depression. When people become depressed, they often lose interest in things that they used to enjoy. This can be problematic when it comes to maintaining a healthy sexual relationship.

It’s also possible that this lack of interest in sex could have to do with your relationship. You could be going through a tough time together, and this might be manifesting itself as a lack of attraction. Are you interacting with one another as much as you used to? Does your partner still show you other signs of affection? If not, then you might need to have a serious conversation about what is going on. 

Certain physical causes could be the reason for your partner’s lack of interest in sex, too. A primary and common example of this is erectile dysfunction, which can make having sex difficult. If someone with erectile dysfunction tries multiple times to have sex and fails, they may lose interest in trying. If your partner is experiencing any type of pain during intercourse, it may make them want to avoid it altogether. If a physical problem is the cause of your partner’s sexual woes, it can be important to take the time to speak to your doctor. Once the cause has been discovered, it can begin to be addressed and worked through.

Talking about sex

Eventually, if you’re feeling unsatisfied or hurt by your partner’s lack of interest in sex, you’re going to need to sit down and talk about what is going on to prevent resentment, mismatched expectations, or hurt feelings. Different couples have different standards for how often they’d like to have intercourse. If the normal pattern has changed, it may be time to discuss what is different or going wrong. 

Initiating an open, honest conversation with your partner can be helpful. If you approach this conversation from the standpoint of love, you may have a more positive outcome. You might be surprised by what you hear, or you might wind up completely understanding what the problem is. Once your partner opens up to you about what’s going on, you can start to work through the issue together, ensuring that each of you are comfortable. 

Bring back the romance

If you have been together for a long time, then you might have grown complacent. This happens to many couples, and it can harm your sex life. Have you been going out on dates regularly? If not, it might be beneficial to take your partner out somewhere special and show them how much they mean to you. A little bit of romance and affection might make a big difference in the relationship. 

When you have children, it can be even more difficult to find the time to connect romantically. Even with kids, it can still be vital to put some effort into the relationship to maintain the romantic spark and connection. A lack of effort from one or both partners could be leading to the lack of sexual intimacy. Reigniting your romance could turn things around. 

Try to do the little things that made you fall in love in the first place. Hold hands and watch a movie together. Go out on a bike ride and watch the sunset. No matter how long you’ve been together, it can be essential to still make time for one another and enjoy yourselves. Once the romance has been reignited, the sex may naturally find its way back into the relationship. 

Spice things up in the bedroom

People may lose interest in sex if they become bored with the same old routine. If your sex life has become fairly mundane, then you might want to think of ways to spice up the bedroom and consider mixing things up. You could try initiating sex in a different place or spot than you usually do. Even changing up your sexual position might be enough to make things seem more exciting.

How far you’re willing to go with sexual exploration can depend on what you and your partner are comfortable with. Some people are a bit more reserved when it comes to sex than others. You might be a very open book, while your partner may tend to hold back. Discuss these ideas with your partner and see what they might be interested in and comfortable with doing.

You might find that your partner has some sexual needs or desires that you haven’t been fulfilling. If you can keep an open mind, you might be able to turn things around. Remember that neither of you has to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. Sexual incompatibility is a real thing, but most people can come to terms with a sex life that works for both individuals.

Online counseling with Regain

Getting to the bottom of a sexless relationship can be challenging. If you and your partner have tried everything in your power to move forward without any luck, it may be time to seek professional support. Online couples counseling through Regain could be a viable option for those who don’t want to leave their homes to find help. A couples therapist can help you and your partner figure out the root cause of the issues that are holding you back. With time, learning how to solve these problems might help you to develop a healthy sex life once more. With Regain, you can reach out to your therapist at any time, and you don’t have to worry about adhering to normal office hours. Online therapy can be an easier, more convenient, and more available way to find support whenever you’re ready.

The efficacy of online counseling

Online counseling can help couples move past sexual issues in their relationship. In one study, researchers assessed the efficacy of a virtual cognitive-behavioral counseling program for pregnant women experiencing sexual dysfunction and low libido. Results of the study showed an increase in sexual function and intimacy, marking it as an effective treatment option.

The takeaway

Being intimate both emotionally and physically with your partner can be vital to a healthy, thriving relationship. When your partner no longer has any interest in sex, it can be important to discover the root cause. Once you can identify what may be causing your partner to no longer desire sexual intimacy, you might be able to help them move past it. In some cases, your partner may require assistance from a professional to overcome the struggles they’re facing. Going to online counseling, whether individually or as a couple, can be a helpful step in restoring the intimacy in your relationship.