10 Tips For Understanding How Guys Text When They Like You
Whether it’s coordinating plans or flirting with a potential mate, in our culture, texting is one of the most popular means of communicating with others. But there are challenges associated with using text messages as a primary means of communication. For example, it’s often difficult to interpret the intended inflection of tone or personality behind the message. This can complicate things when communicating with a potential love interest, especially if they’re someone you’re interested in but don’t know very well yet.
Although there’s no definitive evidence to say that guys text differently than any other gender, you may feel the gap if you’re wondering if he likes you but can’t quite tell through his texts to you. In this article, we'll discuss tips for understanding how guys text when they like you.
1. He frequently uses emojis
Whether you use emojis in your texts is a personal preference that doesn’t have to fall along gender lines. But emojis are a more familiar, informal way to communicate through text that may be interpreted as flirty depending on what they send. Sending emojis with or without lettered text may be his way of showing his playful side and lightening the tone. If he doesn’t use emojis, he may frequently use LOL or other anagrams in conversation to achieve the same effect.
2. He’ll find reasons to text you
Before texting became the norm, people in the dating world had opinions of whether you should “page” the other person first after exchanging numbers. Before that, it was who should call whom first. There’s debate surrounding who should text first, how long to wait before texting, or what you should say.
This is one factor to remember when understanding how guys text when they like you. Consider that if he’s really into you, he may be struggling with finding the right balance so that he doesn’t come off as pushy but also doesn’t seem disinterested. But ultimately, he’ll probably find reasons to text you to keep the connection alive. When a guy texts may play a part, too. If he likes you, you may notice that he sends you a message first thing in the morning or spontaneously texts you late at night. This may show that you are not only on his mind, but he’s also hoping to stay in your thoughts. If he’s proactive in reaching out, it could be a solid sign that he’s interested in you.
3. He’s interested in getting to know you
It’s a sign of interest when a guy proactively learns about you. If he asks personal questions and is interested in what you like to do, where you’re from, and the things that are important to you, it may be an excellent time to open the communication channel and ask him about himself too. (If you’re also interested.) In addition, he may get fun and creative by asking hypothetical questions about your preferences and opinions to get to know you better.
4. He suggests or hints about getting together
While you can get a limited amount of attention from text interactions, if a guy likes you, that may not be enough for him. If he is texting you and hits at hanging out or straightforwardly suggests you do, it’s a sign of genuine interest. If he’s hesitant because he’s worried that you’ll say no thank you, he may hint with something like: “I haven’t seen that movie (or show, or museum exhibit, etc.) yet, either; no one I know is interested,”
Even though it’s not a solid plan, it’s a way for him to “test the waters” and see how you respond or react to the notion of hanging out together. Or he may be direct and ask you to the movie. Either way, if he wants to engage with you more than just by text, he may want to take things further.
5. He double-texts
“Double texting” refers to sending someone more than one text message in a row before the other person responds. Some find it off-putting, but others find it endearing to be on someone’s mind enough that they care to send a second message. If a guy texts you and takes the risk of double-texting after you haven’t responded, it may be a sign that he likes you.
6. He isn’t the first to ask for or send “suggestive” texts
While it isn’t uncommon for people to eventually send suggestive texts, there is a sense of etiquette when you genuinely like someone. If a guy sends you a suggestive or crude photo or asks you for something evocative through text early on without your encouragement, it may be a sign that he isn’t interested in having a deeper connection.
That isn’t to say he won’t want suggestive texts from you eventually, but if he respects you, he’ll take your lead on the subject. If you decide at some point that you’d like to become more flirtatious and intimate, you may give him cues that you’re open to receiving such communications from him. Apart from that, he shouldn’t assume you want them, and if he likes you, he won’t be the first among you to send them.
7. He responds quickly
a guy makes an effort to text you back quickly after you’ve sent him a message; it’s a positive sign. A prompt response may mean he wants you to know that you’re a priority and that he cares. Also, it indicates that he was anticipating your text and looking forward to hearing from you.
8. He texts you good morning and good night
If he sends you a morning or bedtime text, it signals that he’s thinking of you and wants you to think about him too. Consider this: a “good morning” text means you’re among the first things he thought about that day, and he took the time out of his morning routine to let you know that he was thinking about you. A guy who isn’t interested in you probably wouldn’t have done so.
9. He isn’t afraid to revive a conversation
Even when you connect with someone, and there is a clear sign that he likes you too, it’s normal to have lulls in the conversation where neither of you has anything else to say. This can create an awkward situation where the conversation has “died,” and it might seem forward to restart it. If a guy is interested in you, he will take that cue and look for ways to proactively continue the conversation, even if the response is silly or has nothing to do with the initial thread.
10. He works hard to make you laugh or smile
If a guy tries to enhance your day with jokes, funny memes, or stories that make you laugh, it indicates that he is interested in you. He probably wants you to have a good day, and a guy who works to make you laugh likely wants to be the reason you laugh and smile. He may also instigate inside jokes and insert random compliments into your conversations to make you feel good.
Ask a relationship expert
People aren’t always easy to read, especially through text, but social cues and norms can make it easier to interpret someone’s intentions. There are ways to tell if a guy likes you through his texts, but if you’re interested in him and want to begin a more serious relationship, talking to him directly and in person is the best way to start that conversation. This kind of conversation may be challenging because it can make us vulnerable to rejection. When so many hurt feelings are at stake, it can also leave us open to miscommunication.
While these scenarios can be exciting (think early-stage relationship “butterflies”), they can also be stressful. It can feel even worse if things don’t work out how you want. But if you’re having difficulties with stress and relationships, know you don’t have to cope with it alone. Many people who experience love and relationship struggles find excellent support from a counselor with experience in helping people through challenges of love, relationships, and intimacy. Online therapy is the simplest, most convenient way to get that support.
Online platforms like Regain match individuals with licensed, experienced counselors based on their needs and goals. You can talk to a Regain counselor when it’s convenient for your schedule from home or anywhere with a reliable internet connection via phone, text, online messaging, and video chat. Online counseling is often more affordable than conventional therapy without insurance—and a growing body of research shows it’s just as effective for helping people with personal issues regarding relationships, self-esteem, mental health, and more.
If you’re ready to begin, online counseling is the first step towards more confident, connected, and communicative relationships.
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