How Often Should You Text A Girl You Like?

Dating can be hard and navigating social situations, in general, can be complex enough for a lot of people. When you start liking someone, you may want to talk to them more often to see where things could go. When it comes to texting, though, the situation may become even more complicated. For most human social interactions, there are well-known guidelines to curb bad behavior and encourage good behavior. As technology has advanced, the rules guiding social norms have struggled to keep up as our methods and styles of communication have rapidly transformed. Texting is just one example of this. More and more people rely on texting as their primary communication method, and it can be difficult to keep up with all the different rules surrounding this popular form of communication. Every situation varies, but this article outlines some common principles to keep in mind when texting a girl that you like. 

Texting can be a necessary skill

Texting is one of the most popular forms of communication that people use with their friends, family members, and even strangers. People have gotten comfortable learning more about each other this way and even establishing entire relationships from sending messages back and forth. Texting can be a convenient, efficient, and easy way to stay in touch with those you care about, and it’s probably not going anywhere anytime soon. Therefore, it can be important to learn how to text. 

Real-time communications require responses immediately, and it’s often harder to be funny, thoughtful, or calm when you have to respond right away. Unlike real-time or in-person conversations, texting gives you the space to think about what the other person said and respond when you’re feeling ready.

It’s not unreasonable to expect that texting could be a big part of getting to know someone. So, there could be major benefits in being skilled at texting. Being open to romance through texting may give you more avenues for connecting with someone new. Likewise, being closed off to texting can shut the door to growing a new relationship without realizing it. One way you can improve your chances with a girl you like is by managing how often you text them. However, figuring out the right balance can be tricky, especially if you’re new to texting or haven’t texted many of your crushes before. Still, by being open with the girl you’re talking to, staying respectful, and matching their energy, you can learn how to appropriately text them. 

How often should you text a girl you like?

Being a competent communicator is a skill. This can be especially true when it comes to dating. Most everyone grapples with knowing what to say and how to say it at some point or another. As technology has advanced and our rules for managing interactions have failed to keep up, understanding when and how to text has become challenging and highly sought after. 

There’s no rule

When it comes to texting a girl you like, there is no set number of texts you should send or a rule for how often you should text them. Some girls don’t enjoy texting as much as others do, and therefore might not text very often. Others may rely on texting to stay connected to the people they care about and send texts frequently throughout the day. In general, it can be vital to ensure that both people are comfortable with the frequency of the texts being sent, as well as the content of them. 

Ask about the frequency that feels appropriate for her

Some of the most helpful guidance you can get is from the girl you’re texting. You can openly ask them how much they would like to text and talk about what feels appropriate for both of you. You might be on the same page about how often you’d both like to text, but even if you’re not, it can be important to respect their boundaries regarding communication. Asking how frequently they’d be okay with texting can show your concern and care for them. Plus, if they don’t hear from you, or hear from you a lot, it won’t come as a surprise since you’ve already discussed your texting habits in advance. Open communication can be key here. 

Discuss your communication and texting boundaries

The same goes for you for all of this. What are your boundaries when it comes to communication and texting? How often are you comfortable texting someone you like? Are there topics or times of the day that are off-limits? Express these things to the girl you’re texting and stick to them. Ideally, you’ll be able to feel safe expressing your thoughts and feelings to the girl you like over text and in person. It may take some time to build that connection with them but being clear about your expectations long-term can help ensure that you don’t spend time and energy tolerating a texting relationship that doesn’t work for you.

When it may be appropriate to text

Texting can be a learned skill. It may take some time to figure out when it’s appropriate to text someone and when you may be better off leaving them be. If you’re considering texting a girl you like, you may want to keep the following tips in mind before hitting the send button:

• You just went on a date together, and you’re excited to tell them you had a good time.
• They’re texting you a lot, and you’d like to do the same in return
• Something you saw/read/heard made you think of them, and you want to let them know.
• It feels like it’s been a while, and you want to start a conversation.
• You’re picking up on a previous conversation (which can also show that you listen).
• You’d like to ask a small, harmless questions.
• You’re trying to set up another date.

When you may want to avoid texting

• They’re upset with you or not speaking to you, and they’ve requested space. 
• It’s late at night (this may vary based on a person's schedule and other factors - for example, some people have their sound off at night and welcome texts at any hour, so use your judgment and don’t be afraid to ask).
• You already sent a text, and they haven’t responded yet (e.g., avoid spamming until you get an answer.).
• You’re bored and want something to do but have no intentions of pursuing a connection of any kind.
• The person told you they’re not interested.
• They haven’t been responding to your texts for some time (days, weeks). Ghosting can be painful yet real, and sometimes, silence is an answer in and of itself.

Healthy motivations lead to healthy interactions

When texting someone you like, it can be important to ask yourself why you’re doing so in the first place. Recognizing the motivation behind your texting behavior can help you assess whether you’re doing it for beneficial reasons or if you could end up hurting someone or being hurt yourself. 

For example, if you are texting someone because you miss them, because there is a funny story you wanted to share with them, or even because you want their opinion on something, these and similar things could be acceptable reasons to reach out. They can show that you care about a person and give you the authentic opportunity to connect with them. Don’t hesitate to check in with the person you’re texting to see if you’re on the same page. Having healthy motivations behind your texting patterns can help you establish healthier connections with other people. 

Developing effective communication skills with online therapy

Need help with romance and dating? What about something else that’s on your mind? Sometimes, having someone to listen to your thoughts and feelings or help you make decisions can be invaluable. The relationship therapists at Regain can help you navigate communication issues from the comfort of your home. Regain offers online therapy for individuals and couples, so whether you’re looking for personal advice or want to make improvements alongside your significant other, you can find the support that’s right for you. Keeping up with someone you like can be time-consuming and adding therapy sessions to an already busy schedule may seem difficult. With online therapy, you can schedule sessions whenever you have free time and don’t have to worry about it detracting from your time with the person you like. This can make getting care easy and convenient. 

The efficacy of online therapy 

If you’re texting people that you like, you may face rejection at some point or another. While this is natural, high amounts of rejection can lead to loneliness, depression, anxiety, and more. Each of these issues can be effectively addressed in online therapy, as one study showed. Researchers compared an online counseling intervention to a face-to-face program and found similar results. Those in the online therapy group had fewer symptoms of depression, interpersonal sensitivity, and anxiety. Those seeking to recover from rejection, therefore, could benefit from web-based counseling interventions. 

Takeaway

When texting a girl you like, it can be crucial to approach communication with them with healthy intentions, boundaries, and a genuine interest in who they are. Texting can take a crush to the next level if done correctly, but it can also harm a potential relationship if abused. Making sure you and the person you’re texting are both comfortable with the interaction can be important. Learning how to text a girl you like isn’t always easy, and it’s okay to need help in this area or others. An online relationship counselor can support you in your pursuit of the person you like and equip you with tools to connect with others in a healthy way. Signing up with Regain could be an effective first step toward establishing the connections you desire.