Can Porn Addiction Counseling Help My Relationship And Mental Health?
While pornography isn't a new phenomenon, the accessibility of porn on the internet has drawn more attention to its potential as a source of addiction and its impact on relationships.
Most definitions of addiction address issues around substance use, such as drugs and alcohol, but the term is also used in everyday language to describe the inability of an individual to resist an attachment, impulse, drive, or temptation, even if it's harmful to others. Porn addiction is commonly considered a behavioral addiction but isn't currently included officially in the DSM-V as such.
Some sex health experts say that under certain conditions, porn can potentially play a role as part of healthy sex life. Still, pornography addiction is becoming a common complaint, especially among young men. Preliminary research has supported the connection between porn and sexual performance issues, including erectile dysfunction (ED). For people with a pornography addiction, expectations for what a partner should look like or what sex should feel like sometimes become skewed and distorted by fantasy.
Usually, people are forced to confront their porn addiction after a partner discovers it. Sometimes there can also be another crisis caused by the addiction, such as high credit card bills from buying adult content or job loss due to decreased productivity. Whatever the case, once a porn addiction is firmly established, it can threaten a relationship.
Signs you might have an addiction to porn
But where is the line drawn between a "normal level" of porn consumption (if there is one) and a potential addiction? The answer varies between people and is often influenced by several factors.
Common signs of porn addiction include:
- You can't stop viewing pornography, despite wanting and attempting to.
- You get angry or irritable if you go too long without viewing pornography. You may snap at your partner or lose your temper quickly.
- You have strong, hard-to-resist urges (compulsions) to view pornography often.
- You hide your behavior from your partner, whether it's sneaking away unnoticed or waiting until they go to sleep.
- You can achieve an erection easily with porn, but not with a partner. You may secretly fantasize about porn you've viewed during intercourse to stay excited.
- You find yourself increasingly seeking more novel stimuli to achieve the same excitement. You may view material that you feel ashamed of later.
- You've lost interest in sex, even though you believe you're very attracted to your partner. In some cases, this can lead to performance loss and erectile dysfunction.
- You find yourself withdrawing from your partner and others. You may struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, or numbness.
Is porn addiction the same as sex addiction?
Addiction to porn and sexual addiction are both considered behavioral addictions, but they aren't the same. In fact, many people turn to porn instead of having sex. That's sometimes because the individual is addicted to the novelty and instant gratification they experience when watching porn. A person can be addicted to porn without ever cheating on their spouse.
What causes porn addiction?
Many people view porn, but few will develop an addiction. What causes some people to become addicted and not others? Porn addiction can develop because the brain learns to associate a substantial reward with the routine of watching porn and masturbating. A person may use excessive porn consumption not only for sexual pleasure but as a maladaptive coping mechanism for:
- Reducing stress
- Relieving boredom
- Managing emotions
- Relieving loneliness
Scientists aren't exactly sure why some people develop a porn addiction and others don't. One theory states that some people may have genetic qualities predisposing them to certain addiction types. Others espouse that there could be various environmental and social factors at play.
How porn impacts the brain's reward system
Our brains are hardwired to seek the things that most benefit our survival: food, water, and sex, being just a few. Every time we perform an action that our brain registers as rewarding, dopamine is released in a part of the brain known as the nucleus accumbens. Addictive substances, such as alcohol, cocaine, and amphetamines, release a far higher level of dopamine than natural stimuli, encouraging dependency. Porn functions similarly by releasing a higher amount of dopamine than typical sexual behavior.
The ready and easy availability of porn stimulates the brain's natural "seeking" behavior. Over time, the brain rewires itself via a process known as "neuroplasticity," creating a solid connection between porn use and reward. Like with any other addiction, the longer the habit persists, the more consumption it will probably take to release the same amount of dopamine.
How porn addiction can negatively impact a relationship
There are two significant parts of a relationship that suffer when one partner has a porn addiction. The first is intimacy. People with a pornography addiction may find that they begin to prefer porn over sex with their partner. One person could never provide the novelty that porn can-- leaving the addicted individual with a disinterest in conventional sex. At the same time, the partners of a person experiencing a porn addiction may struggle with deep feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. They may no longer feel attractive, and this can have long-lasting consequences for their confidence and a devastating effect on intimacy.
The second area affected by an addiction to porn is the development of trust issues that undermine the foundation of the relationship. Trust is critical to any romantic partnership. Without it, two people cannot sustain a healthy relationship. Once broken, trust can be challenging to rebuild.
Since someone struggling with a porn addiction usually hides and/or minimizes the issue, it can destroy the trust between them and their partner when the complete scope of the addiction is revealed.
How porn addiction counseling can help
While the medical literature does not explicitly define porn addiction, it works in the same manner as other behavioral addictions. It can be very difficult to stop an addiction to pornography on your own. You may feel out of control despite your best attempts to quit. You may feel defeated and guilty, especially if it's affected your relationship with your partner.
Porn addiction counseling and a recovery program
Porn addiction counseling can happen alone or alongside a 12-step recovery program. You'll learn not only how to manage the triggers of your addiction but also how to solve any deeper issues that may have influenced the addiction in the first place. You and your partner can learn how to rebuild the trust broken by the addiction and restore intimacy.
You may face struggles, particularly early on in therapy. It can be difficult to resist urges to watch pornography, especially when it's so widely available. Some people experience sexual dysfunction temporarily as they effectively "detox" from the high stimulation of porn.
It can take time and support to rebuild a relationship, months, or possibly even years. It can be a difficult journey, but most couples who commit to the process report that restoring the relationship with the person they love is worth it. A counselor can help give you the support you need to get through this difficult time.
The role of individual therapy
Couples counseling is not the only type of therapy that may be required to sustain and repair the relationship. Individual therapy can be highly beneficial both for those with porn addiction and the partner it impacts. Finding out that your partner is addicted to porn can harm your self-esteem and confidence, even if you're logically aware of the addiction mechanics underlying the problem. This can be addressed in individual counseling.
Like others exposed to addiction, you may feel deep self-esteem issues and shame. It can be difficult to talk about the subject, as you may feel embarrassed or awkward. However, individual therapy is essential for taking control of your thoughts and feelings resulting from your partner's porn addiction and regaining your agency.
Porn addiction counseling with an online therapist
Porn addiction can have a devastating effect on a relationship and the mental health of those affected. Many people who develop a porn addiction do so because of an unaddressed mental health condition, such as depression or anxiety. For partners, porn addiction can cause severe damage to their self-esteem and well-being. In such cases, a therapist can help pinpoint these issues and provide proper treatment.
Online therapy for improved mental health
Some who seek help experience barriers to treatment, including scheduling, accessibility, affordability, and others. The popularity of online therapy has served to remove some of those barriers. Platforms like Regain give couples access to experienced licensed therapists specializing in issues of sexuality and relationships on a schedule that fits their needs. You can attend appointments with a Regain counselor from the comfort of home via online messaging, video chat, text chat, and phone—often at a more affordable rate than conventional therapy without insurance.
A growing body of research also indicates that online individual and couples therapy is as effective as traditional therapy in using methods like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)— a treatment commonly used for issues of sex and intimacy like porn addiction in relationships.
Takeaway
With commitment and the support of an experienced therapist you can trust, you can recover from porn addiction and rebuild a healthy level of intimacy in your relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Is it possible to get rid of addiction?
It is certainly possible to recover from addiction. However, whether we are talking about drug addiction or behavioral addiction (such as sex addiction), it is generally not as simple as mustering up the willpower to stop. Addiction causes changes to the brain that make it extremely difficult to stop seeking out a substance or behavior despite the harm it is causing in an individual’s life.
Porn addiction treatment
It is imperative for individuals who notice signs of addictive behavior to reach out for support from a mental health professional or addiction therapist. Addiction therapy proves to be successful in helping an individual identify the underlying factors contributing to their behaviors and move towards developing healthier coping mechanisms.
Addiction treatment often includes addiction therapy, support groups, and/or medication. There are numerous types of 12 step groups available for individuals who are addicted to sex, gambling, and various other behaviors in addition to alcohol or other substances.
If addictive behavior negatively impacts one’s relationships, couples counseling or family counseling may be an important part of recovery. Couples counseling can provide an avenue for exploring difficult emotions to move toward a renewed connection. Another option is family counseling which provides a safe space for working through challenges impacting the family dynamic. In family counseling, a licensed mental health professional helps individuals develop skills for improving the functioning of the family unit, such as conflict resolution and problem-solving skills.
Is addiction good or bad?
Whether addiction to a substance or behavior (such as sex addiction), there are typically negative consequences, not only for the individual but for the people closest to them.
It may or may not be obvious that an individual has a sex addiction, as it is often hidden. It is common for addiction to sex, like many other addictions, to take place in secrecy as an individual will try to hide their behaviors from others. Another sign of sexual addiction is the preoccupation with having sex that interferes with daily responsibilities. A person living with a sex addiction often feels powerless to stop the behavior despite the damage it causes in their life.
Sexual addiction and counseling
Various types of sexual addiction (such as addiction to pornography) can have damaging impacts on intimate relationships. If individuals have a pornography addiction, they will likely show decreased interest in sex with their partners. It is also common for someone who is addicted to sex to engage in extramarital affairs.
For this reason, couples counseling is often an important part of recovery from sexual addiction. Studies have shown that couples greatly benefit from techniques utilized in structural therapy (which is typically used as a part of family therapy). Couples counseling can help partners re-establish the trust that may have been broken and work through the challenges that have emerged due to one partner’s sex addiction. The goal of couples counseling is to increase a sense of understanding and intimacy in the partnership.
Family counseling may also be needed as a way to address challenges in the family unit. With the help of a licensed mental health professional, family counseling provides a way to learn techniques for navigating conflict and difficult situations to move towards a healthier family dynamic.
Recovery from addiction is possible. Many individuals benefit from seeking the support of an addiction therapist who can assist in understanding the underlying factors contributing to the addictive behavior and address any co-occurring mental health issues. This article provides more information about what addiction therapy looks like and guidance for seeking an addiction therapist.
Why is porn addictive?
An article published in Science Focus Magazine revealed that addiction to pornography acts similarly to drug addiction in activating brain networks that manage rewards, motivation, and craving. Increased levels of brain activity were recorded among the individuals who considered watching porn to be a compulsive behavior instead of those who did not.
However, not everyone who watches porn becomes addicted to it. An article published by the American Psychological Association discusses a study where 80% of individuals felt comfortable with using pornography and did not find it problematic in their lives.
A sexual addiction (such as addiction to pornography) tends to follow the same trajectory as drug addiction, beginning with experimentation until an individual engages in daily use, then gradually progressing to abuse and dependence. If certain genetic, psychological, and environmental factors are present, the individual may become addicted to pornography. When an individual becomes addicted to sex, it is extremely difficult for the individual to stop the compulsive behavior despite the harm it may be causing in their relationships and daily functioning. There may also be withdrawal symptoms when an individual tries to stop viewing pornography.
Signs of porn addiction
Common signs of sex pornography addiction include being unable to stop viewing porn despite negative consequences, consistent cravings to engage in the behavior, mental preoccupation, irritability, and loss of interest in typical activities. Individuals who are addicted to pornography may experience decreased connection with their partner as they are likely to lose interest in sex. Many individuals who become addicted to pornography also develop other forms of sexual addiction, such as compulsive masturbation.
There are overwhelming feelings of shame that are associated with being addicted to sex or pornography. However, sexual addiction is a challenge that millions of Americans face. There is help and support available for individuals who believe they may be experiencing addiction to pornography or another type of sexual addiction.
Many individuals find successful results from seeking addiction counseling, family counseling, and connecting with others undergoing similar challenges in the form of a support group.
You might consider seeking online addiction counseling services through BetterHelp. It is an affordable and convenient option that allows you to work with a licensed therapist. Addiction counseling is beneficial in helping you to address the underlying emotions that may have contributed to developing an addiction.
Is watching porn bad for you?
Viewing pornography can have a positive or negative effect, depending on the context around which it is used.
Research has found that excessive pornography use is associated with increased sexist attitudes and aggressive sexual behavior. However, not every person responds to pornography in the same way. Some men do not view women differently as a result, while for others watching porn exacerbates existing misogynistic thinking and dangerous behaviors toward women.
There is proof that consistent use of online pornography can cause ‘habituation,’ where an individual will feel the need to seek out new stimuli. This could lead individuals with sex addiction deeper into seeking more hardcore images, perpetuating the addictive cycle.
However, some individuals find watching porn a welcome addition to their sex lives, as they can incorporate new ideas into the bedroom. Do girls watch porn too? The answer is yes, but not as much as men do.
Pornography use may become problematic if it becomes an unhealthy coping skill or develops into compulsive behavior. If an individual feels they cannot stop viewing pornography despite harmful effects on daily functioning and their relationships, it may indicate an addiction to pornography.
If you notice any warning signs of sexual addiction, it is important to reach out to support a licensed therapist or try to log in to Google and search for “addiction therapist near me.” Couples counseling or family counseling may also be necessary to discuss challenges in relationships with significant others. In family therapy, a licensed mental health professional can assist in developing tools for healthy conflict resolution.
Sexual addiction is common and highly treatable. Through addiction therapy, individuals can gain insight into the underlying factors contributing to their behavior and develop constructive coping techniques. Many individuals can improve their quality of life by engaging in addiction counseling as well as 12 Step groups and other forms of support to recover from sexual addiction. BetterHelp offers online addiction counseling with a licensed therapist that you can connect with from anywhere.
Counseling Can Help With Porn Addiction
Counseling is a personal experience, and not everyone will go into it seeking the same things. Keeping these things in mind can ensure that you will get the most out of online counseling, regardless of your specific goals. If you’re still wondering if counseling is right for you and how much counseling costs, please contact us at contact@betterhelp.com. BetterHelp specializes in online counseling to help address all types of mental health concerns. If you’re interested in individual counseling, please reach out to contact@betterhelp.com. For more information about BetterHelp as a company, please find us on:
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WebMD, WebMD Facebook, WebMD Twitter, WebMD Pinterest, WebMD LinkedIn
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What kind of mental health therapist do you see for porn addiction?
You should see a licensed therapist specializing in addiction or a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT) for help with porn addiction.
How many hours a week qualifies as porn addiction?
There’s no exact number of hours, but if watching porn takes over your daily life, impacts relationships, or causes distress, it might be an addiction.
Where can I talk about my porn addiction?
You can talk to a licensed therapist, a support group, or a counselor specializing in addiction. Online forums and helplines also provide a safe space.
How does CBT help with porn addiction?
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) helps by identifying and changing negative thoughts and behaviors that lead to porn use. It teaches healthier coping strategies.
Why is porn so hard to quit?
Porn can be hard to quit because it triggers dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical, making it addictive and creating a cycle of craving.
Why is my porn addiction so strong?
Your addiction may feel strong because it’s become a coping mechanism for stress or emotional issues, and your brain gets used to the dopamine rush it provides.
Can cognitive behavioral therapy effectively help decrease porn addiction counseling?
Yes, CBT is effective for reducing porn addiction by helping you recognize triggers, change behaviors, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
What are common porn addiction treatments?
Common treatments include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), group therapy, 12-step programs, and support groups that focus on healthy behaviors.
Does hypnosis help decrease addiction to porn?
Hypnosis can help some people by addressing underlying issues or changing thought patterns, but it’s typically used alongside other treatments.
How does one help a friend suffering from addiction to porn?
Be supportive and non-judgmental, and encourage them to seek professional help. Listen to them and provide resources like therapists or support groups.
How does psychotherapy or talk therapy help manage porn addiction?
Psychotherapy helps by exploring the emotional issues behind the addiction, providing a safe space to talk, and teaching coping skills to handle triggers.
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