Premarital Counseling Near Me: Exploring Treatment Options

Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson, MA, LCSW
Updated October 13, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Reaching the point that you and your partner are willing to commit your lives to each other and get engaged is an important milestone in your relationship. As you prepare for the wedding, including premarital counseling in your schedule can help you create a solid foundation to build your marriage. Read on to discover the meaning, benefits, and treatment options for premarital counseling and how it can benefit your relationship. 

What is premarital counseling?

Premarital counseling can help build strong marriages

Premarital counseling is a form of couples therapy focused on helping engaged couples learn vital information about each other and form a realistic plan for communication and conflict in their future marriage. This therapy helps engaged people discuss important issues—from financial habits to parenting ideals—so they can get on the same wavelength before getting married. These conversations help couples identify potentially problematic issues, and your therapist can help you develop realistic, practical ways to resolve conflicts and communicate your needs and feelings to your partner. 

What does premarital counseling do?

Premarital counseling reveals the crucial things they need to know about each other to engaged couples while teaching them to express their needs and emotions and establishing ways to work through problems together. Participating in couples therapy before you get married can help you get to know your partner better and help you two build a solid foundation for a healthy, thriving marriage. 

Benefits of premarital counseling

  • Build communication skills together. Studies show that open communication is often at the heart of successful long-term relationships. 
  • Discover and make plans for potential problems.
  • Plan a timeline for your marriage, such as when to have kids, buy a home, etc. 
  • Establish plans for how to resolve conflicts when they arise. 
  • Learn more about your partner and yourself by sharing past histories and influences. 
  • Grow together with the guidance and support of a licensed therapist. 

Premarital counseling treatment options

After getting engaged, ask your partner if they'd be willing to attend premarital counseling to ensure you're both equipped with the tools required to build a healthy, lasting marriage. Once you agree, it can help to know how to find your treatment possibilities. 

Google “premarital counseling near me” to find in-person options

Couples looking for face-to-face therapy before getting married can start the search by Googling “premarital counseling near me” to find the local offices. From there, you can call each office to see who is accepting new patients and schedule an appointment. Keep in mind that if you or your fiancé don’t fit well with the therapist and the office doesn’t have other available providers, you may have to start the process again. 

Access a comprehensive network of providers online

Another treatment option you may want to consider is online premarital counseling. Virtual therapy platforms offer access to a much wider range of treatment providers, all from the comfort and convenience of your home. 

Find a provider with whom you both feel comfortable

One of the common misconceptions associated with therapy is that you’re stuck with a provider with whom you are not comfortable or who does not fit your needs and personality. Effective treatment requires an honest, trusting relationship with your therapist, and you shouldn't settle for someone who makes it challenging to share your emotions or be understood. 

Premarital counseling approaches

Your therapist may specialize in a specific type of premarital counseling. It can be helpful to know what types of treatment approaches are available. When talking to your therapist for the first time, ask questions about their experience and which approach they prefer when helping couples through the premarital stage. 

Gottman method

This method begins with a detailed assessment of both partners and addresses conflict areas with a therapeutic framework. The goals of the Gottman Method involve increasing the emotional intimacy in your relationship, building a higher quality of friendship between partners, and teaching you the problem-solving and conflict-resolution tools that help you construct a stronger, healthier relationship. 

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT)

This type of premarital therapy focuses on building the attachment between you and your fiancé, helping you strengthen your bond. Intended as a short-term therapy, EFT can help you and your partner learn better communication and create a stronger relationship. 

Psychodynamic couples therapy

This treatment approach examines underlying issues that may influence your interactions. Together, you'll identify and express your physical, mental, and emotional needs and expectations from your partner in a marriage. People with issues related to abandonment, disapproval, or past trauma may benefit from this therapy, as it helps partners understand one another and how they both think, act, and feel.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

What to expect from premarital counseling

You may be wondering how premarital counseling works. Throughout several sessions, your therapist will get to know you and help you know each other better using some of the following techniques. 

Assessing both partners

Many therapists like to assess both partners' emotional state and commitment when beginning premarital therapy. You and your fiancé will likely be asked to complete questionnaires separately, answering questions about how you feel about each other and your expectations for your future marriage. The answers can help your therapist determine your strengths and weaknesses as a couple, along with potential areas of conflict and compatibility. 

Sharing past histories

The life you live before meeting your fiancé can significantly influence how you think, behave, and process your emotions. Premarital counseling can help you explore the crucial elements of your histories and how they currently affect you. 

Discussing crucial issues

Planning for your future together and ensuring you have a realistic idea of what married life will be like is another vital aspect of premarital counseling. Discuss topics like finances, children, religion, and other things likely to affect your future marriage. 

How premarital counseling helps you know your fiancé better

Studies show that many couples get engaged between two and five years after they begin dating, so there’s a good chance that you know quite a lot about your partner. However, premarital counseling can help you explore subjects you may not be comfortable bringing up independently or may not think to discuss before entwining your lives. 

Establish open communication channels and effective strategies

Learn how to talk to each other, express what you're feeling, and tell your partner what you need. You will also learn how to listen so you can hear and understand what they’re telling you. 

Discuss your plans for children and parenting

Avoid being blindsided by the knowledge that your partner doesn’t want children or plans to raise them in a way to which you object by discussing your timelines and opinions about having and raising children. 

Outline expectations and needs from marriage

Neither you nor your partner are mind readers, so if you expect your partner to do something for you, make sure they know what you want and need from them to feel loved, seen, and understood in your marriage. 

Identify problem areas and strengths

Discover the areas where you two show the most potential for discord and harmony. Premarital therapy doesn’t just highlight what’s wrong with your relationship. It showcases what’s right, too. 

Getty/AnnaStills
Premarital counseling can help build strong marriages

When to start premarital counseling

Many couples go through pre-engagement counseling when first discussing getting engaged. Once you've popped the question or said yes, it can be a great time to think about premarital counseling so you start your marriage equipped with the skills to build a life together. 

Potential problems premarital counseling can reveal

  • Drastic differences in fundamental values
  • Substantial debt that could affect your future together
  • Lifestyle and sexual proclivities
  • Expectations for sex, intimacy, and roles in the marriage
  • Differences of opinion about having children or child rearing
  • Inability to share feelings or communicate effectively
  • Conflicting ideas about religion
  • Family history and past experiences

How therapy can help build strong marriages

Though fairy tales would have you believe love is all you need for happily ever after, successful relationships require work to build the connections and trust between you and your partner. Consider working with a licensed premarital counselor online through a virtual relationship therapy platform like Regain. Therapy can teach you practical communication and conflict-resolution skills while helping you learn critical information about each other with the support and guidance of a mental health professional. 

For the past few years, flexible mental health treatment has been brought to the forefront of public interest. Studies show that online and in-person couples therapy and premarital counseling show similar outcomes. Both groups demonstrated increased relationship satisfaction and decreased symptoms related to stress, anxiety, and depression. Online treatments are often more cost-effective, involve shorter wait times, and provide access to a much more comprehensive network of treatment providers. You can easily find someone who fits your personality and your partner’s while helping you both feel comfortable. 

Takeaway

Deciding to marry someone is one of the most impactful choices you’ll ever make, and many couples choose to prepare for their life together by using premarital counseling to identify and address issues in the relationship before they become problematic. The information presented in this article offers insight into the benefits of premarital therapy and the available treatment options.

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