10 Getting To Know You Questions For A First Date

It's perfectly normal to be nervous about a first date. Whether you've known your date for a while or just met, you want to make the best impression possible. After all, the goal is to get a date after the first one if there's a connection. For a first date to go well, you want the conversation to flow, and you want to get to know your date. Knowing what to talk about on a first date is one of the common dating struggles. Having a list of dating questions to ask may help you feel confident and prepared for when the date comes.

Remember that for a first date to go well, you should just be yourself. Having a list of questions will help, but only if the questions are natural for you and for the conversation you're having. You're allowed to relax and have fun. The beginning of a relationship can be full of hope and promise, so ride in on those feelings and see where they take you. Getting to know someone can be tough, but it doesn't have to be. To get you started and help break the ice, try out these 10 getting to know you questions to ask yourself and your date that will hopefully spark deeper conversation than “what’s your favorite color?”.

Who are the special people in your life?

Consider getting to know someone by finding out who they value in their life. Are they close with their family? Do they have a core group of friends? Are they married to work? The answers you'll get will tell you more about your date than you realize. By getting to know who they associate with, you'll start to understand the type of person they probably are. It will also be a good indicator of how the two of you will get along in the future. If you both value family, that means at some point you may be meeting each other's families and look to a future of making your own. If their job drives them to make money, you'll see where their priorities are and how that may or may not affect your day-to-day life. This question could check some of your boxes or raise some flags. Either way, it's helpful to use.

What's your favorite place on earth?

Have you ever listened to someone talk about something they love? Think about the way they smiled, how their eyes lit up as they went through every detail. When you ask someone what their favorite place is, you'll get to see this look. This question goes along the same lines as asking about special people in their life. You can get a lot of great information out of where someone's favorite place is. They could have a specific memory of the place, or like it because of who is there or give a completely unexpected reason for their answer. This gives you a chance to ask them why. What is so great about that place? If you've been to the place they talk about, that's something you now have in common.

Where is home?

Home means different things to different people. Sometimes home is a person; sometimes, it's a place. You ask where home is now or where their childhood home is. Find out where your date grew up and if they like to visit. Ask where their family lives. If they're far away, ask if they see them often. These are more background questions that let you get to know more foundational information about your date. These questions may not be eye-opening, but you get a sense of where they come from.

What makes you laugh?

Find out if your date is a jokester! What makes them laugh? Ask if they're into comedic movies, stand-up comedians, reality TV, or anything else that gives you a chuckle. Laughter is a quick way to get to a person's heart, and it can also break the tension from nervousness or awkward pauses. No matter what reason you have for laughing, it's a great way to break the ice.

What does a normal Saturday look like for you?

Get to know their weekend plans. Are they couch potatoes on Saturday, or do they fill their weekends with many activities and people to see? This will give you a chance to see if you enjoy downtime the same way and how the future could look if you stay together long-term. If your date says they like to keep busy, it could mean they have a strong work ethic, or they don't like sitting still, or they have a lot going on. If your date likes to stay in on the weekend, it could mean they like lazy days, relaxation, and quiet activities. You can compare their answer to yours and see how compatible you are in terms of leisure activities.

Do you have any dreams?

Have fun with this question. Ask what big and bold dreams they have. Is there a point in their career they want to hit? Are they looking forward to parenthood? Is there a place they want to vacation to? Maybe they want to buy a house or a certain type of car. Whatever their answer, you get to see what their life is aimed towards. This is a chance to see if you want the same things out of life or if they want something you could do without.

What's your most valuable possession?

See what your date holds on to. This kind of question will show you your date's priorities. Maybe they're sentimental, maybe they spent a lot of money on an expensive item, or maybe they don't have one at all. They may feel caught off guard by this question and need time to think of the answer. This is okay. If they want to think about it or change their answer later into the day, this shows that they want to give you a good response. It might feel awkward at first, but you can give them the courtesy they need to give a thoughtful response.

Who's the most fascinating person you know?

Unlike the special people in your date's life, ask them who the most fascinating person they know is. They might name drop a celebrity or talk about a family that is interesting to talk to. Maybe a professor or teacher made a profound impact on their lives. The answer to this question will give you more insight into what they view as fascinating, what they fixate on when they are truly interested. If you don't find it obvious, then follow up by asking what makes this person so fascinating. It will be like when they talk about their favorite place. They describe this person and why they chose this person will say a lot about them without being spelled out.

What value do you think is important to live by?

If both people's core values don't match, the relationship will suffer in a romantic relationship. It's perfectly okay to come out and ask at a first date what values your date has. How important is family to them? Are they religious? Does work typically take precedence over friends and family time? How good are they with money? These questions can be summed up by asking your date what value they view as most important. A person's core values will be the most important indicator for whether a relationship with this person is worth pursuing.

What made you choose me?

This question will change depending on how you meet your date. If friends set you up, this question might look like, "Why did they think we'd hit it off?" If you met by happenstance at a bar or somewhere else in public, you could ask, "What made you want to ask me out?" But as online dating becomes more prevalent, you'll likely be able to ask your date what it was about your profile that stood out to them. What made them type that first message? Hopefully, this will be an ego boost for you and also help you understand what it is about you that they're interested in. This way, you can also see the person that you are projecting into the world.

First dates are a two-way street, so be prepared to answer the above questions yourself when you ask them about your date. You can make it a game and let them come up with some questions to ask you as well. Preparing a list of questions to ask a guy on a date in advance can take care of some of the awkward silences that often accompany the first date. When you don't know someone well, it's hard to get the conversation to flow first. But as these questions help you both to open up, the easy conversation should follow.

Get clarity before going on a first date in online therapy

Still, have more questions about first dates? Feel like no matter what you do, they all end up awkward? Not sure how to get a second date? Relationship counseling might be a good fit for you. At Regain, therapists and counselors are available for you to talk to completely online in your own time. Online therapy is flexible, and affordable—while still offering comparable care to in-person therapy.

Get the relationship help you need with Regain by going to www.regain.us/start today.

Takeaway

A first date doesn’t need to be worrying. By being your genuine self, discussing your passions, and being sure to ask questions, you can make the best impact and hopefully find the right partner for you.