15 Tips For Making The Most Of Tinder Dates
Online dating has become extremely popular in the last decade. There are several options you might consider when choosing a dating app that meets your needs, one of which might be Tinder. Tinder is a dating app that allows you to meet other people just by using a smartphone or computer. With most people owning a smartphone these days, it may not be surprising that a variety of people find themselves downloading and engaging with this app. Whether you’re looking for a casual hookup, a long-term relationship, or something else, you may meet someone on Tinder who can meet those needs. To get the most out of your Tinder dates, consider following the tips for success that are contained within this article.
Tips for Tinder dates
Everyone downloads dating apps and dates for different reasons. Some hope to find their true love and form a lasting relationship, while others look for a casual one-night fling with someone they find attractive. If you’re using Tinder to meet people that you could consider getting into a relationship with, you may need to approach it differently than others who are also using the app. Try following the 15 tips below to get the most out of your Tinder dates.
#1 Build trust and rapport before meeting
If you are using Tinder to find a long-term relationship, try to build trust and rapport before deciding to meet. This can also help you stay safer because you can learn more about the person you’re meeting. Talk together for some time, and not just on the dating site. Take your conversations to a more personal venue like Facebook or WhatsApp. You could even FaceTime to make sure that the person you’re speaking with matches the one on their profile. Learn about each other and consider whether you might be compatible before scheduling that first date.
#2 Location can be key
Online dating can present a safety issue because you’re meeting up with a stranger the first time you meet in person. Try to choose the location for the first date yourself. Make sure that you meet up with the other person in a public place that you feel safe and comfortable in. Ensuring other people are around the area can also be important. If you need help during the date, bystanders could step in if needed.
#3 Act like it’s the second date
When using an online dating app like Tinder, it can be easy to treat your first time meeting up as an awkward first date. While there might still be a certain amount of awkwardness, you may be able to calm your nerves by treating the date like it’s the second one. By the time you meet up with this person, it’s likely that you’ve been talking for some time on or off the app, with lots of interactions to get to know each other. Greet your date as if you are greeting a friend and continue the conversations you were having online in person.
#4 Build rapport
Building rapport can be essential to forming a foundation for a potential future relationship. To build rapport, practice active listening in which you listen primarily to understand and then to respond. For example, if they tell a story about themselves, acknowledge their story, and show that you were listening, and then consider following up with a similar story of your own. This is just one way to discover some things that you may have in common.
#5 Maintain a healthy level of fear
Fear can be a natural response to meeting someone new, especially someone from an online dating site like Tinder. While it’s wise to proceed with caution and use common sense to stay safe, it can also be important not to let your fear control you. While getting to know your Tinder date in person, try to let things flow naturally, and don’t put pressure on yourself for a certain outcome to happen. For example, if a kiss feels right, and you and your date are comfortable with it, you can likely proceed. If the date went well and you’re asked for a second one, feel free to say yes if that’s something that would make you happy.
#6 Meeting your standards
Many people go on dates with the idea that they are trying to sell themselves to the other person. However, this may not be an effective way to get the most out of your Tinder dates. Instead, assess whether this person matches up to your standards. Try to determine if this is someone you are interested in getting to know better for a potential relationship. If there’s no connection, or if the other person is into you and you don’t share their feelings, there’s nothing wrong with searching for someone else who may be the right match.
#7 Interesting conversation
Cheesy pick-up lines might be the order of the day on sites like Tinder. Still, when it comes to the actual date and trying to see if you are compatible with someone for a potential relationship, it can be important to know how to carry on an interesting conversation. Opting for open-ended questions can help the conversation flow.
#8 Prepare yourself
Before going on a Tinder date, it can be helpful to prepare yourself. This could include getting right in your mind as well as feeling positive about yourself physically. Naturally, you may be nervous, shy, and self-conscious to a degree. However, part of the process of preparing yourself can be to commit to putting these things aside and trying to get to know the person you will be going out with. Try to put yourself in the frame of mind to go into this experience with an open mind and without quick judgments. Dress in something you feel comfortable in and remember to be yourself.
#9 Be aware of body language
Body language can say a lot, even when you don’t mean to. You might cross your arms because you are nervous, but your date might interpret this to mean that you are uninterested in what they have to say. Try to ensure that your body language correctly identifies what you are thinking and feeling while you are on the date. If you’re feeling open to them, use open body language instead of other signs that may signal you’re closed off.
#10 Be interested
One of the most effective ways to be interesting to someone else is to show an interest in them. You can show interest in someone by listening intently and asking lots of questions. The more questions you ask about someone, the more you can convey that you are interested in them. This also has the added effect of being able to get to know each other on a deeper level. Remember, though, that relationships go both ways. It can be important that your date is also asking you some questions and showing their interest in you.
#11 Don’t expect perfection
Remember that compatibility doesn’t necessarily mean that you are perfect for each other. Perfection is not necessary to make a connection. You may not be able to tell right away if you are compatible or not. Keep an open mind, refrain from quick judgments, and don’t expect anyone to be the perfect match.
#12 Be true to yourself
If you are serious about finding a relationship by using Tinder, it can be crucial to be yourself on dates. Rather than saying what the other person wants to hear or downplaying how important something is to you in a relationship, be as honest and open as you can about who you are and what you want. If the other person does the same, you may be able to assess much more accurately whether the two of you are compatible. The healthiest relationships are often those in which both people feel free to be themselves.
#13 Build a connection
If you want to get the most out of your Tinder dates, you’ll likely need to focus on building a connection with someone for a lasting relationship. Building a connection often requires you to think outward rather than inward. Look to your date for information about themselves, ask questions, show interest, keep your smartphone put away, be genuine, and pay attention. Each of these things can show that you care about getting to know the person in front of you.
#14 Make having fun a priority
While dates provide a chance for you two to get to know one another on a deeper level, they can also be about having fun. Dating doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Rather, it can be something fun you choose to do on a Saturday night. Whether or not you and your date form a lasting connection, you can still have a positive experience by enjoying just being out and having fun with someone new. If there is a connection, it may become apparent in the process. Perhaps you will make a new friend or find a new romantic partner.
#15 Watch for red flags
If you’re in the dating scene, it can be vital to look out for some red flags, especially during the early stages of the process. Depending on the relationships you have had in the past (if any), you may have some specific red flags that you don’t want to deal with in future relationships. Some common red flags are alcohol dependence, commitment issues, controlling behavior, or someone who crosses your physical boundaries.
Online counseling with Regain
While using dating apps like Tinder, it can be important to determine what you are looking for, what your deal breakers are, and what you are willing to compromise on for the right partner. If you cannot examine your past relationships to discover these things independently, a licensed therapist can help you find some clarity. Regain is an online counseling platform that offers dating and relationship advice from anywhere you have an internet connection. Sometimes, simply voicing your needs out loud can help you figure out what you want out of life. Online therapy can make getting the support you need easier and more convenient than traditional options. Since you may already be connecting with love interests through the phone, you could consider doing the same to speak with a professional and give them updates about your love life.
The efficacy of online counseling
Dating can be complicated. Whether you’re searching for a casual or long-term relationship, you could run into problems along the way that could be addressed in online therapy. In one study, researchers found that an online psychotherapy intervention effectively treated various psychiatric conditions. Participants experienced greater levels of self-esteem and less loneliness, and these feelings remained steady even at a 6-week follow-up. No matter what you’re looking for, online therapy could be a viable option if you’re in need of encouragement during your dating journey.
Takeaway
People use dating apps like Tinder for a variety of reasons. Some are searching for short-term flings, while others desire something more serious and long-term. Regardless of what you’re looking for, it can be important to be on the same page as those you’re connecting with. Not being on the same page can cause hurt feelings and lead to other negative outcomes. If you’re having trouble in your dating life, a therapist could help. Regain provides counseling services anytime, anywhere so that you can focus your attention on what matters most while still getting encouragement and support.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What should I say on a Tinder date?
In addition to ensuring your safety, it can be important to have productive conversations while on a Tinder date. This can be true regardless of what you’re looking for. However, if you’re looking for something serious, it can be crucial to make that clear; likewise, if you’re looking for a casual fling, this can be something worth mentioning. You can get the conversation flowing by asking questions and allowing your date to ask them back. You can prepare by having a couple of questions prepared in the back of your mind, whether they’re an add-on to something you’ve talked about over Tinder or questions about a new topic altogether. If you noticed something that stood out to you on their Tinder profile, consider asking them about it. For example, if they mentioned what field they work in, you might ask, “So, how did you get into that field? What drew you to the work that you do?” What you say on the date can depend on many factors, so try to go with the flow and be yourself.
How do I make my Tinder date go well?
Here are some ways you can help your Tinder date go well:
- Prioritize safety (and don’t forget about it because you’ve started to trust your Tinder date). Pick a public location, and when you leave the date, don’t tell your Tinder date where you live. Just in case things go awry, don’t let them drop you off or learn where you live through other means. Additionally, have a safety plan in place if you need to leave the date.
- Put your phone down during the date.
- Suggest a low-pressure date idea.
- Talk about your expectations before the date. If you’re not interested in hookups or a long-term relationship, make it known.
- Ask lots of questions to get to know your date.
Ultimately, it takes two to make a date go well. Bad or awkward dates happen, and if your Tinder match turns out to be rude, or if there are any red flags, know that you don’t have to go out with them again.
How do you date someone on Tinder?
Tinder dating can be much like dating anyone else that you just met. Here are some tips that may benefit you:
- Be yourself.
- Worry less about impressing them and more about if they impress you. Pay attention to the details. Are they kind to the waiter or barista? Are they saying or doing anything that could be a red flag?
- Be upfront about what you’re looking for. If you’re not interested in hookups, make it known, and if you are primarily interested in hookups, make that known, too. You want to make sure you’re on the same page so that neither of you is put in an uncomfortable situation.
- Listen to your intuition and don’t ignore red flags.
How do you greet a first Tinder date?
You can greet your Tinder match the way you’d greet anyone else on a first date or when meeting them for the first time. You may smile, let them know it’s nice to meet them and give a handshake or a hug. If you’re happy to be there, you can let it be known. When formally dating, you may be physically affectionate, but it may be more appropriate to hold off on that to get to know your date better first. Of course, every relationship progresses at different speeds, so you can likely proceed with anything if you and your date are comfortable with it and on the same page.
How long should a first Tinder date last?
How long a first date lasts can depend on many factors. Some first dates last around an hour, which can provide a couple with just enough time to get a sense of their chemistry. Other first dates may last longer if the date is going well and the pair really connects with one another. The swipelife.tinder.com website has several posts that reference the one-hour rule, stating that a first date should only last an hour. This may be because no one likes to be stuck on a bad date. You can stick to this rule to make both of you comfortable and then extend the time on the second date (if there is one). Remember to ensure that each of you is comfortable no matter how long the date lasts.
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