17 Steps To Make That Awkward First Date A Success

Going on a first date can make you nervous. The excitement of spending time with a new person you fancy and the thrill of not knowing what to expect can produce strange feelings of anxiety in you that may seem to threaten to ruin the day. You may feel self-conscious, worrying about your clothes, look, etc. But, as with other great unknowns, going on a first date can be much easier when you are prepared. Here are some helpful steps to remember as you prepare to make that awkward first date a real success.

17 steps to make that awkward first date a success

Make it Simple

A first date can already leave you full of jitters, so it may be best not to make things more stressful or complicated by trying to arrange the perfect dinner or planning a day full of different activities. Even a cup of coffee at a relaxed café should do the trick, and if things go well, then maybe lunch or dinner is on the horizon. If you prefer lunch or dinner, make it casual and fun.

Prepare for Some First Date Discussion

Just like you'd be prepared for a job interview by anticipating questions the interviewer might ask you, prepare the same way for your first date. Having a mental list of topics to discuss with your date can help boost your confidence and reduce the chance of awkward silences.

Don't Be Late

Arriving late for your first date may not be the best way to make an excellent first impression on your date, as it could turn the date into a guaranteed disastrous outcome. When you show up late, your date may feel like they are not worthy or important enough for you to show up on time. On the other hand, arriving a little earlier than expected may help to communicate to your date that you value their time and are looking forward to spending time with them.

Create A Strong First Impression

Research shows that making a solid first impression on people may help facilitate a long-term relationship. People can form first impressions quickly and easily just by assessing your looks. So, before you go on your first date, make sure you look your best. Wear comfortable and flattering clothes and be sure to smell nice. 

Don't Worry About the Outcome of The Date

Just have fun. No expectations, no worries about the "what ifs." Lowering your expectations that this date has to be an end-all-be-all can make you more relaxed and help you just be the person you are. Enjoy every moment of the date and go for the ride. It may be great if the date leads to a more serious relationship, but the experience can also be enough in the end.

Be Polite To Service Staff

Remember that your date may be watching your every move to piece together the kind of person you are. Their senses can be heightened as they watch how you act, react, and treat people. So, you don’t want to be caught being rude to the service staff at your rendezvous. Not only can it be quite embarrassing, but it may also come across as disrespectful to your date themself. If you need a staff's attention, raise your hand politely and speak to them respectfully.

Practice Good Table Manners

This is right up there with being polite to service staff. Of course, you don't have to act like you're sitting with the Queen of England, but you may want to find a good balance between being polite and being relaxed. Remember to close your mouth when chewing, too.

Use Active Listening Skills

Although you may want the conversations to be two-sided, it sometimes may be best to listen actively when your date is talking. Active listening involves not just listening to the words they speak but also paying attention to the intent and feelings behind those words. 

Ask Open-Ended Questions

We may often ask closed-ended questions whether we mean to or not. These questions can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no," or a few words at most, which may break the flow of conversation and cause awkward silences. On the other hand, an open-ended question can solicit the other person's thoughts, feelings, and interests and can be answered in more diverse and expansive ways. Ask your date open-ended questions and then allow them to talk. Be sure to be engaging.

Put Your Phone Away

When on a date, you should generally try to give your date, not your phone, your attention. You may want warn your family and friends ahead of time that you'd be on a date so they know not to disturb you unless it's an emergency. You can simply excuse yourself to step aside to check and respond to messages. Constantly checking your phone may not only give off the message that someone else is more important, but it can also disrupt the flow of the conversation and the connection between you two that you're working to build.

Show Up As Yourself

Be authentic and have fun. Be honest about yourself, and don't try to paint a picture of yourself that isn't who you are. Chances are your date will eventually discover the truth anyway if you continue to meet each other. Being yourself can help you relax and ease the first date's awkwardness.

Don't Talk Too Much, Especially If It's All About You

Ideally, the conversation should eventually relax into a back-and-forth rhythm. If you're talking too much, you may not only be making a date about yourself, but you might also hinder the chance to learn about your date and show them how interested and engaged you are.

Don't Brag About Yourself

Along the same lines as talking too much, bragging should likely be avoided at all costs. Bragging can be a big turn-off to most people and may put a damper on your first date. Name-dropping, discussing how much money you make, or describing how expensive your car is can all be examples of things that can be left out of the conversation. Saying you just returned from vacation at the beach can be fine and could open up the conversation, but saying how expensive the beach house was and that the first-class helicopter ride at sunset was the best thing ever might produce more yawns than yearnings.

Don't Talk About Your Ex

Unless asked directly, you may want to avoid talking about your ex. Not only can it make you look like you haven't moved on, but it can also come across as disrespectful to your date. 

Don't Overindulge

Relaxing with a glass of cabernet sauvignon as you're both getting to know each other may be nice; however, having too many glasses might make your date uncomfortable. It also may not be the best way to make a good impression or fostering a strong connection.

Keep Politics and Religion Away

Political and religious discussions can be heated and quickly aggressive, especially when two people fall on different sides of a debate. Having a fight on your first date may not be the best way to kick off your relationship, so avoiding political, religious, or other seriously polarizing topics might be advisable. Keeping the conversation simple and light can ensure you both have a pleasant time. 

Post-Date Communication

Say the date is over, it was a success, there was chemistry, and you realize it wasn't that nerve-racking. But perhaps it still feels awkward because you're unsure of the next steps. If you'd rather not have a second date, thank them and part ways. If you want to see them again, thank them, comment on something positive about the first date (be sure to give specifics), and follow up by suggesting something together that came up in conversation.

Get some outside support

In addition to the above tips, talking to a mental health professional can help you learn to navigate first dates with ease and confidence. Boosting your self-esteem and having a chance to discuss your worries may make it easier to create meaningful relationships with others, romantic or not.

A therapist can help you work through and out your anxiety about your upcoming first date so that you may be better prepared for it. Online therapy can also provide the added benefit of anonymity. You don’t have to face a therapist physically if you would rather not. With chat, text, phone, and video chat options, you can choose the most convenient mode of communication for you.

Studies even show that there can be a close tie between your mental health and the quality of your romantic relationships. So, investing some time and effort into yourself and preparing for your date can boost your overall chances of success.

Takeaway

The best way to make a first date less awkward and more successful may be to prepare ahead of time, try your best to be yourself, and show your date that you’re committed to having a good time together. When it all comes down to it, there’s no pressure to have a perfect first date – try not to stress too much. Meeting and bonding with a new person can be a bit awkward, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take steps to help things get back on track.