Are You Dating A Workaholic? What To Do When Your Partner Never Has Time
Some people are incredibly committed to their careers. It’s admirable to want to succeed and continue to advance in your career, but putting so much of your time into work can negatively impact other areas of your life. If you’re dating someone who works a lot and never seems to have time for you, then you might be very frustrated. Are you dating a workaholic? If so, then you should read on to learn what you can do to try to address issues so that your relationship can thrive.
Talk to your partner about your feelings
Talking to your partner about how you’re feeling about things is the first step that you can take. If your significant other has been ignoring you and just focusing on work, then that is likely going to make you feel bad. Some people get so wrapped up in work that they forget about other things that matter. Your partner might have lost sight of how important you are and may need to take stock of things.
Some people are so dedicated to their work that relationships will always come second. This can be frustrating, and you don’t necessarily have to accept this if you aren’t comfortable with it. Working hard is a great quality, but neglecting your relationships may not feel good to your partner. Try to let your partner know what you have been thinking using “I feel” statements and see if you can understand the issue.
Appreciate the time that you have
Appreciating the time that you do have is very important. You might be dating a workaholic, but you still probably get to see them sometimes. Perhaps you only get to spend time together one or two days out of the week. If you can make those one or two days count, then that can be a good thing. Try to make the most of what you’re given in addition to exploring other alternatives.
Some people work jobs with very hectic hours. Some people work twelve-hour shifts and are so tired when they get home that they immediately go to sleep. This isn’t ideal, but you can understand how difficult it is for the person working so much, too. Such a dynamic may be tough on both of you, and it might be necessary to make a change.
Ask your partner if they would be willing to change careers
If the career is the problem, then you could ask if your partner would consider changing careers. All the money in the world is likely not going to matter that much if you don’t have any time or energy to enjoy it. If your partner is really a workaholic, then they might not be too open to the idea of changing jobs. They might like what they do, and they might be interested in continuing to advance in that career path.
If the career is causing problems for your relationship, then you might arrive at an impasse. You’re going to have to decide whether you can continue if things don’t change. If your partner can figure out a way to make more time without changing careers, then that might work out just fine. It’s also possible that your partner might be working too much and should consider the impact this is having on their health. This possibility largely depends on the situation, but you do need to be truthful about how you’re feeling.
Try to make more time for each other
Trying to make more time for each other is very good. If your partner is willing to make some changes to the work schedule to accommodate you, then that shows that they truly care and are trying to address your concerns. It might not always be easy to make this time, but you should appreciate it when your partner makes an effort for you. Try to schedule regular times when you can have fun together.
If you can at least make time to go on a few dates per month, then it can make your time apart feel bearable. You want to enjoy each other, and it can hurt when your partner is distant due to being busy with work. Just try to get more time and try to let your partner know that you don’t want to feel secondary to their line of work. You might be able to come to some agreement that will be satisfactory for both of you.
Consider taking a regular vacation together
Some couples can cope with one family being a workaholic due to getting regular vacation periods. If your partner works all the time, then vacation days might accumulate. This could allow you to take a long vacation together at least once per year. You could go somewhere truly special and have a great time enjoying one another.
Remember that taking regular vacations may not be an option for people who work in certain fields. Not everyone receives paid time off for their efforts, and there may be other financial barriers to going on regular vacation. If you have the means to book regular vacations, doing so may help your relationship out significantly. Your partner may need to unwind, and you may need to be able to enjoy spending time together. A week away from the hustle and bustle can certainly work wonders.
Spend time with friends
If you’re trying to keep yourself from feeling lonely while your partner is busy with work, then it might be wise to spend time with friends. Your friends can be a great source of companionship when you’re feeling down. You might wish that you could have a substantial amount of time to spend with your significant other, but it might not be possible due to the nature of their job. In this situation, your friends may be very helpful.
Remember that relationships outside of your romantic partnership are also important. You can cultivate strong ties with your friends and enjoy being able to do things together. Spending some time with friends, even a couple of times per week will help you feel better. If you don’t have many close friends who live nearby, you can meet new like-minded people in your neighborhood.
Take up a hobby
Taking up a hobby might also be helpful. Doing so may not solve your dilemma of not getting enough time with your partner, but you may be able to start enjoying your free time more. Some people love being able to split up their time between work, dating, friends, and hobbies. What hobby you decide to take up is completely up to you.
Some people might want to learn how to play the guitar, and others might be interested in taking salsa lessons. What appeals to you? Engaging in a new hobby doesn’t mean you should deny your feelings or desires to get more time with your significant other. It’s just healthy to have other entertaining and satisfying things in your life to help fill your time. Consider whether a hobby would help you feel better, and then take steps to start it.
Be honest with yourself
You might need to be honest with yourself if you feel that you just aren’t getting enough out of your relationship. It could be true that your partner simply isn’t putting effort into the relationship or that they aren’t as committed to it as you are. If you aren’t happy in the relationship, then breaking up could be a better option. Before going through this line of thought, it’s important to discuss things with your romantic partner.
As mentioned earlier, discussing your feelings with your partner is crucial. They might not be aware of how you’re feeling, and they might be willing to make changes if they know that they’re hurting you emotionally. Dating a workaholic isn’t always easy, and it’s up to you to decide whether you’re comfortable with it. Your partner might be willing to try to change and fit more time for you into the schedule. If not, then you always have the option of moving on and trying to find someone who is more in-tune with what you want out of a relationship.
Online couples counseling can help
Always remember that online couples counseling can make a difference when you need help. There are dedicated licensed therapists online who have helped many couples overcome their differences. If you’re worried that your partner isn’t putting enough effort into the relationship, online counseling is a good idea. You can work on relationship issues while learning how to strengthen your bond.
Online couples counseling can be very convenient for your partner, who always seems to be busy with work. Unlike traditional couples counseling, you’re going to be able to attend couples counseling online at times that are compatible for both of your schedules. You can reach out even during odd hours.
Online couples counseling has shown efficacy in supporting couples through a variety of challenges, including situations where one partner is prioritizing work over the relationship. A study involving 30 couples ranging from ages 21-49 sorted participants into a control group and experimental group. The first cohort took part in face-to-face therapy and the second cohort engaged in online therapy. Both groups completed six sessions designed to promote behavioral change within the relationship, and results yielded no difference between the overall effectiveness of online versus in-person methods.
Counselor reviews
If you’re interested in learning more about others’ experiences in online relationship counseling, consider reading some of the reviews from satisfied Regain participants below.
“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time… She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”
“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”
Takeaway
As frustrating as it can be to feel like a second priority in your partner’s life, know that there are solutions to addressing relationships imbalances. Talking through your concerns with a partner is a crucial first step; however, if you find that things aren’t moving the way you’d like them to, you can enlist the help of a licensed online couples therapist. Regain relationship counselors are qualified to support couples in navigating a variety of issues, including a dynamic where one person is devoting too much time to work or other priorities. Take the first step in improving your relationship quality by reaching out to a Regain therapist today.
Frequently asked questions
Is it worth dating a workaholic?
Just as with most things, there are both upsides and downsides to dating a workaholic. Let’s start with the positives: When you’re dating a workaholic, they may encourage you not to be complacent, so you’re much more likely to reach your goals and find success in your own life. Your own work ethic is likely to improve. You’ll likely never feel suffocated by your partner. You may be in a dating relationship with someone who you can truly admire as well, thanks to their incredible work ethic. And finally, it might be very clear to you that you’re important to your partner if you’re dating a workaholic. This is because, for someone who is addicted to work, it can be a big deal to set everything aside and put time and effort into your relationship.
However, there are also some harsh realities of dating a workaholic. One of the harsh realities of dating a workaholic is that many workaholics tend to be addicted to work, which is a huge part of their identity. When you date a workaholic, you’ll potentially notice that they can begin to feel panicked whenever they’re away from work, and partly because of this, workaholics tend not to be the most reliable--they may even cancel their date nights to get more work done. While some workaholics may never maintain a successful long-term relationship, some workaholics can turn things around and build a healthy relationship.
When are you dating a workaholic?
There are several signs you’re dating a workaholic. The first is that you tend to come second to work. This is because workaholics tend to be addicted to work and prioritize their job, even over their dating relationship. They’ll possibly have a hard time putting their phone down, even on date nights. Workaholics struggle with their work-life balance, which means they might spend more time at the office than they do at home with you. Unfortunately, this is just one of the harsh realities of dating a workaholic.
One of the most prominent signs you’re dating a workaholic is that they are perfectionists and feel as if they must do everything to the absolute best of their ability-- even then, they may feel that’s not enough. This is due to their intense work ethic. Finally, another harsh reality of dating a workaholic is that your plans will often get rescheduled due to work.
If you decide to date a workaholic, know that you’ll likely need to have regular talks with your partner to maintain an ideal relationship balance. You can use several strategies, like scheduling a time that works for the two of you to spend together and setting up healthy boundaries. A therapist or counselor can also help figure out a healthier work-life balance.
Why do workaholics seek relationships?
Just like most other people, workaholics also crave companionship and love from a significant other. Unfortunately, many workaholics cannot maintain healthy relationships due to their lack of balance between work and the rest of their lives. This doesn’t mean that a workaholic can’t change and be part of a successful relationship, but there are some harsh realities of dating someone addicted to their work.
If you’re dating a workaholic, strive to set aside a time that works for the two of you to spend uninterrupted time together each week. This may be difficult if they’re a workaholic who highly values their work ethic, but it is essential for the relationship to survive and be healthy. One of the harsh realities of dating a workaholic is that you’ll possibly be put on the back burner often due to their need to work constantly, so it’s best to be proactive and schedule out time to spend together.
Can working too much ruin a relationship?
Sadly, there are many harsh realities of dating a workaholic. If they’re a workaholic and not just someone who enjoys their job, their need to work constantly can cause major problems in a relationship. It can be very difficult to date someone addicted to their work because they may not always be there for you or be reliable.
Many workaholics also feel that work depletes their energy, so by the time they get home, they don’t have the energy to attune with their partner. Feelings like guilt and resentment can also arise from both sides, contributing to the relationship going downhill. If you’re dating a workaholic, be sure to make your voice heard and set boundaries when it comes to your partner’s work ethic and needs to work constantly.
Can workaholics change?
If you’re dating a workaholic and have learned about all of the harsh realities of dating them, you’ll be relieved to hear they can change. But keep in mind that for change to occur, they must want to change and be willing to put in the effort to do so. Oftentimes, workaholics experience motivational, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral issues, which have led them to become addicted to their work. If these underlying issues are addressed, a workaholic can change and recover. It is still achievable to maintain an impressive work ethic without being a workaholic.
How do workaholics relax?
Mindfulness is one great way for workaholics to take a moment and relax. Other effective relaxation methods for workaholics include taking a hot bath (or engaging in other self-care practices), tidying their living space, doing meditation or yoga, taking a break from devices, going outdoors, and enjoying a hobby.
If you start dating a workaholic, they may truly appreciate it if you make it easy for them to relax and let go of their responsibilities when at home. For example, if you know that your significant other is on their way home from work, you could draw them a hot bath, light some candles, and put on relaxing music. Then all they have to do is hop in the tub and enjoy a few minutes of relaxation!
Remember that just because they’re a workaholic doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Helping them to see the importance of regular relaxation and decompression from work is likely to result in a happier and healthy relationship. Although the harsh realities of dating a workaholic aren’t likely to disappear completely, regular relaxation can help alleviate them.
What are the sign of a workaholic?
Wondering if you’re dating a workaholic or if you are a workaholic? Here are a few clear signs you’re dating a workaholic (or that you are a workaholic). First, a workaholic spends minimal time with family and friends outside of the workplace. You’re likely to notice this even when you first start dating them! If you’re dating a workaholic, you may notice that they may feel uneasy or anxious whenever they stop working.
In addition, work is typically a workaholic’s first priority; everything else feels secondary. A workaholic is typically unhappy overall, and they will very rarely admit the extent of their problem--or that there even is a problem in the first place. If you decide to date a workaholic, you must understand that their need to work is deeply ingrained in their psyche.
If you want to start dating a workaholic, it’s wise to be aware that even though there are some harsh realities of dating a workaholic, they can change and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don’t hesitate to get help from a professional couples counselor or marriage and family therapist if you’re struggling to manage relationship issues on your own. Whether you’re young and dating, dating as a senior citizen, or somewhere in between, therapy can be a wonderfully effective tool.
How do you get a busy boyfriend to miss you?
It can be difficult to be in a relationship where your significant other is always busy. You may wonder if they even miss you during all the times they’re away at work. Contrary to what you might guess, the best way to handle this situation is to enjoy your own life actively!
Spend time with friends, enjoy your favorite hobbies, and try not to fixate too much on your significant other when they’re too busy to talk or spend time together. It’s always nice to leave your partner little notes and surprises to show that you care about them, but actively trying to make your significant other miss you is likely to keep you from enjoying your own life.
Can a workaholic have a healthy relationship?
Are workaholics emotionally unavailable?
How does nagging destroy your relationship with a workaholic?
How does having an overachiever of a boyfriend affect your relationship?
How does it feel to date someone who works too much?
Are workaholics always reliable?
What do overachievers have in common?
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