Bad First Date? Six Tips On How To Get A Second Date

Dating culture can be difficult to understand at times. Even if you are dating the right person, sometimes you might still have a bad or awkward first date. There are plenty of reasons why a first date might be called bad that don't mean the relationship won’t work out. Perhaps you chose the wrong activity to do together, or one of you wasn't feeling up to par that day. If you want to continue seeing this person even after the bad date, you can do several things to get a second date.

Second date tips

If you had a bad first date, you might feel embarrassed or scared to ask for a second. Still, if you are willing to look past what went wrong the first time, it’s possible you and the other person can have an enjoyable and successful second date. After a first date has gone badly, try doing the following for a chance at redemption:  

• Express your feelings
• Agree to start fresh
• Laugh it off
• Embrace it
• Apologize, if needed
• Plan a new date

Express your feelings

A bad date can result for several different reasons. Maybe you were nervous and weren’t being yourself, were in a funky mood, or were uncomfortable with the activity you two did together. If either of these were the case, consider opening up to the other person about it. 

We all have bad days. Sometimes, waking up on the wrong side of the bed is all it takes to ruin your mood. If you chose to tough it out and attend the date anyway, you might be to blame, in part, for the failure of the date. This is all part of being human - we aren't perfect or in a good mood all the time.

If you talk to your love interest about your feelings, they are likely to understand. Since being in an off mood is such a normal occurrence, they may be able to relate. This method also carries the benefit of showing this person that you can be transparent and accountable, each of which can be positive qualities in a significant other. 

Many relationships struggle with communication, causing strife and stress as a result. Your new love interest may get to see a side of you that wants to work things out if you can be open about how you feel. This can set a solid foundation for the future and show them that you are trustworthy and fair.

Whether this wins you a second date or not, there may not be much of a downside to expressing your emotions. In the case that this person is still uninterested in seeing you after you have explained yourself, you can at least have some closure in knowing that you tried. You won't have to spend time wondering if things could have gone any differently if you had spoken your mind. Plus, you are more likely to be able to move on to a new love interest with a clear head. 

Agree to start fresh

Bad dates happen to everyone and some of the strongest relationships have started from awkward, uncomfortable moments. For many of these couples, starting fresh was just what was needed. When you have a bad date, there may not be an easy way to fix it. If nothing else seems apparent, try asking to start over. Giving one another a second chance at a positive date could allow each of you to move on from what happened in the past.

There are probably a variety of factors that caused your first date to fail. Rather than scrambling to find a solution to a multi-faceted issue, starting over may be an easier solution. Talk to the other person and explain to them how you feel. Let them know that you want to see them again, but you aren't proud of the way your first date went. If you can agree to wipe the slate clean and go on a second first date, you might be able to redeem the situation.

Laugh it off

There are many times in life when we must accept what has happened and find the humor in it. Some of the most awkward, uncomfortable, and undesirable experiences can be laughed about later. No matter how bad the first date was, you can still try to find the humor in it. If you and your partner can agree to focus on humor and move forward together, you might have a greater chance at a lasting relationship. Being able to laugh at yourself can be an important quality. Research has shown that people regularly poke fun at themselves experience healthier levels of emotional control, including anger management. Not everything in life needs to be taken so seriously. 

Embrace it

First dates can be uncomfortable and awkward for many people. Going out with someone you barely know and spending an extended amount of time face-to-face with them may be nerve-wracking. Accepting and embracing the fact that few first dates are perfect could help you focus on what went well rather than what went wrong. Even the best dates can have their bad moments, just as the healthiest relationships can have tough moments and conflict. 

Flaws can make up some of the best parts of people and situations. If we never experienced bad moments, we might not know when to appreciate the good. Therefore, it can be important to accept life as it comes— good, bad, and everything in between. Plus, everything you’re learning now is preparing you for what’s to come. Take advantage of the learning opportunities in front of you, knowing that you can apply them to your next relationship. 

Apologize if needed

There may be situations in which an apology is warranted. If you crossed a line or acted rudely, for example, an apology could be in order. If you are regretful of something you did or said, be forthcoming about it. The person you went on a date with deserves the decency of an apology if you hurt them in any way. In many cases, you can redeem yourself by showing genuine remorse and assuring the other person that you’ll be better in the future. Making it clear that you want to make things right may just save the relationship. 

If the person you are dating chooses not to continue seeing you following your apology, that is their choice. You can walk away from the relationship knowing that you were open, honest, and that you did all you could to salvage it. Take it as a learning experience and try to move on.

Plan a unique date

Sometimes, the root cause of a bad date is the activity you choose to do together. Perhaps dinner and a movie didn't hit the spot for one of you. Or maybe you’re scared of heights and the person took you to an amusement park. If this is the case, consider planning a more appropriate date for the next time.

There are plenty of date ideas to consider trying. For some people, traditional things like going on a walk or eating a picnic dinner are enough to spark fun and excitement. For others, though, a bit more is needed. If you or your new love interest is adventurous, you might take date night a step further.

There are many different directions you can take a date in. If you are both athletic, you might find a rock wall to climb or a new trail to hike together. If you both enjoy music, perhaps an impromptu date night at a local venue would be enjoyable. The activity you plan might not matter as much as how comfortable each of you are with it. Ensure that whatever activity you choose is fun for both of you while also being appropriate. 

One of the goals of this method can be to show your thoughtfulness. After a bad date, you may have a lot of making up to do. It can be important to make an impression on your new love interest, with the hopes of both of you giving the relationship another shot. If you show your determination to make the second date one to remember, you might have more success in turning things around.

Online counseling with Regain

If you have been on a string of bad dates, you might start to feel discouraged. The dating scene can be challenging to navigate, but you don’t have to do it on your own. By connecting with a licensed online counselor through Regain, you can add someone to your corner to encourage you through the highs and the lows. Dating can take up a lot of time, and you may struggle to find a free moment for therapy sessions. With online therapy, you can access mental health support from anywhere you have an internet connection. Being able to get care at any time from anywhere can make it easy and convenient to find solutions to the problems you’re facing. Dating can be complex, but a professional can help ease your worries. 

The efficacy of online counseling 

Those who are dating around may face higher rates of rejection than others. Rejection can cause low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and more. Each of these concerns can be addressed in online therapy, which has been shown to be just as effective as face-to-face therapy. In one study, researchers found that college students participating in an online therapy intervention experienced fewer symptoms of depression, interpersonal sensitivity, and anxiety. Overall, they had less psychological distress and reported feeling more satisfied with life. 

Takeaway

Being part of the dating scene involves risking the chance of bad first dates. While these can be uncomfortable, awkward, or embarrassing to get through, they don’t necessarily mean that there won’t be more dates in the future. A second date can be a chance at redemption and the start of a blossoming relationship, depending on your desires. Open communication, self-awareness, and patience can all be key to more dating success. If you’re struggling in one or more of these areas, online counseling could be a viable solution to help you move forward.