Dating At 50: Red Flags To Be Wary Of

It should come as no surprise to hear that dating at 50 isn’t always easy. Many people dating at this age will be trying to find someone after having experienced some hardships along the way. You might be trying to find a new mate after going through a divorce. It’s even possible that you might be a widow or a widower who is seeking a new romantic connection after losing your spouse. Whatever your situation is like, it’s important to be aware of early relationship red flags.

In this article, you’ll be able to get information about certain problems of which you should be aware -- These are potential issues that people who are dating at 50 should be cognizant of so that they can avoid problems. You don’t want to get caught in a scam or to be hurt in some way. Read on to learn information that can enable you to date with confidence.

Online dating scams

You have probably heard of online dating at this point. This has become one of the most popular ways for single people to meet new potential matches. Even if you feel a bit intimidated by online dating, it’s important to know that many people who are 50 or older are also using online dating to find new love interests. It isn’t weird for someone this age to make an online dating profile, and you’ll even find singles your age on modern dating apps.

That being said, you will need to watch out for certain red flags when you’re using online dating platforms. There are people out there who try to scam or trick vulnerable individuals for financial gain. There are even some people who do things like this as some sick joke. Certain people will lie on their online dating profiles and try to present themselves as someone they aren’t. This could mean lying about their employment status, or it could mean completely lying about who they are.

You want to try to verify who someone is before going out on a date with them. If you notice that someone has an online dating profile that seems suspicious, then you might want to think twice before interacting with them. Online dating profiles with no information should certainly be viewed as red flags. Also, seeing a profile of someone who looks too good to be true might indicate a scammer.

Online dating can work out nicely, but you have to be vigilant about avoiding scammers. These people might try to trick you into giving them money or gifts. They often prey on desperate individuals or people who are in an emotionally vulnerable state. As long as you keep your wits about you, it should be possible to avoid issues like this online. Don’t let this deter you from trying online dating – as people can have bad intentions within any dating context -- but do your best to pay attention when you’re trying to meet someone nice.

Young suitors

It might also be smart to be wary of young people who are taking an interest in you. This could be a potential red flag that someone is trying to take advantage of you. Before getting too far into this topic, it’s important to note that some young people are attracted to older mates. It isn’t entirely uncommon for younger people to seek out older lovers, but it’s still something that you’ll want to think twice about pursuing. The young person showing you affection might be completely genuine, but they could also be trying to use you for your money.

Some young people try to date people who are 50 or older for financial reasons. Typically, people dating at 50 will have more money than people in their twenties. There’s a good chance that you’ve been established in your career for several decades, and you might even be a homeowner with a nice car. An attractive young person could come into your life to take advantage of your loneliness for their financial gain; again, it is important to emphasize that this behavior can occur within any dating context (online or not).

If you’re interested in taking a younger lover, it’s going to be smart to determine whether they’re genuine first. Try to get to know them as a person just like you would any other romantic partner. If they only seem interested in being with you when you’re taking them to fancy restaurants or otherwise spending money on them, then that’s a bad sign. If they’re engaged with you due to your connection as people, that bodes well for the relationship. Use your discretion and try to keep your wits about you.

Secretive lovers

When you start dating someone new, it can take a while to get to know someone. You might date someone for several months without stepping into their inner circle. This isn’t too unusual, but it will start to seem strange if you’ve been dating someone for a while and you still haven’t met their friends or family. When someone seems to be keeping you a secret, it could be a bad sign that they’re otherwise attached.

You might be surprised to learn how often people get into romantic entanglements with married individuals without even knowing it. With the advent of the Internet and smartphones, it’s a lot easier for people to be unfaithful than in the past. If you’re dating someone who seems secretive and only spends time with you during specific hours, then that’s a big red flag. Be mindful of this, and don’t be afraid to ask your lover for clarification so that you can get to the bottom of what is going on.

Quick attachment

If you start dating someone new at 50 and find that they start getting attached to you very fast, this could seem like a good thing. Depending on your relationship dynamic, you might be happy about someone developing a close bond with you. However, there are times when this could be a red flag instead of a reason to be happy. If you have only gone on two dates with someone and they start acting like you’re married now, then that’s likely problematic.

Some people try to solve their life challenges by finding someone new to date. For example, there might be a person in financial trouble who doesn’t see a way out. They start dating you, and maybe that eventually leads to marriage. If someone seems overly eager to progress the relationship and take things to the next level, this might signify something is amiss.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that someone nice and genuine is looking for a helping hand. You want to be open to love, and you shouldn’t be worried that everyone is out to get you. Just be mindful that there are some situations where you should take a step back and think before progressing. If you go about things the right way, then you should be able to tell if someone is legitimately in love with you or if they’re looking for a solution to their life problems.

Rumination

Dating at 50 can be especially tough, sometimes due to what you have gone through in life. This is also true of your potential partners when you’re dating people who are around your age. If you’re dating someone and you find that they seem to be stuck in the past, then this could be a bad sign. People who are stuck in the past may have problems making things work in the present.

You don’t want to get into a relationship with someone who will constantly be comparing you to their ex-spouse or deceased partner. It’s perfectly fine to acknowledge the past, but people have to be willing to live in the present. If you feel like the person you’re dating is just pining for days gone by, they might not appreciate what you have to offer them in the here and now.

Reach out to online couples’ counselors

You might consider reaching out to online couples’ counselors if you seek guidance in the modern dating world. If you’re dating someone new and want to try to make things work despite having some issues, professional counselors can assist you. For example, online counselors at Regain have been able to help many people to strengthen their bonds. You might need help overcoming certain hurdles, but you can learn to communicate better as a couple, and you’ll be able to move forward together as a stronger couple.

Online counseling has been designed to be very convenient for busy people. If you don’t have a lot of time on your hands, then it’s nice to know that this counseling option can work on your schedule. You can reach out to your counselor via text in the moment or meet via videoconference. It’s possible to attend counseling sessions together as a couple, or you can stick with individual counseling. 

Results from studies indicate that online therapy is just as efficacious as in-person therapy when it comes to resolving relationship challenges. In a recent trial where researchers compared in-person and online psychotherapy, participants in both treatment groups experienced improvements in relationship satisfaction, and there was no significant difference between the two modes in effectiveness.

Takeaway

Regardless of what you’re experienced in the past, it is never too late to enter or re-enter the dating world. While protocols, behaviors, and communication styles may look and feel different than they did when you last dated, you can trust in your ability to adapt, and a licensed online therapist at Regain can be a valuable member of your support network. While it is important to be wary of certain red flags that come with dating at 50, do your best to remain open-minded and open-hearted to new connections that may come your way.