Dating After Divorce: Dating Etiquette Tips For Divorcees

Divorce is ranked among the top life stressors of them all. The climax of a marriage by means of divorce can, among other things, cause a great deal of self-doubt. It can also lead people to question the possibility of a healthy and happy marriage—at least as it pertains to them. Regardless of the terms or reasons behind the divorce, you deserve to be happy with someone—if you like the idea of being in another relationship. Some experts believe that a divorce may actually have a positive impact on relationships that follow a divorce.

Are you a divorcee who desires to start dating again? If you have a positive attitude and are mentally and emotionally prepared to date someone new, it's possible to enjoy dating after a failed marriage.

Dating…again

It can be challenging to return to the world of dating after being married. This is especially true for divorcees who have spent the last decade or more with the same person. For those who divorce only a few months or so after being married, the challenges may not be as intense.

If you feel that you're ready to throw on some dancing shoes and take your spot on the singles market, there are a few things to consider before doing so. Dating is different today than it was years ago. It's important to understand the different dynamics of dating etiquette before going out to meet your suitor. Although online dating etiquette differs somewhat from traditional dating, the principles remain the same. Here are some tips for dating post-divorce.

You should be completely over the last relationship

The divorce may be final, but that doesn't make your feelings disappear or mean you're ready to date a new partner. It's important to take time to heal from the divorce before engaging in other dates or relationships. If your primary topic of conversation with other people is about your ex, negative or positive in nature, your feelings may need more time to dissolve. Process your emotions to determine if you’re ready to move on with someone new. It's important to be in a healthy space before pursuing a new relationship after a divorce.

Be practical

Exercise caution and use good judgment when dating after divorce. Create a healthy balance. The idea of getting back out there may be exciting, but taking some time before doing so is important. Give yourself enough time to connect with your inner emotions and feelings and spend time reconnecting with family and friends. Going out on a date is perfectly fine, but don't make dating your primary hobby.

Foster healthy relationships with other singles

Form healthy relationships with like-minded singles because they have similar relationship goals and interests as you. Mixing with other singles can help you to resume your dating life. It allows you to cultivate healthy relationships with people you may consider dating at a leisurely pace. Surrounding yourself with friends helps you to adjust to the divorce lifestyle.

Don't label it a relationship after the first date

When it comes to dating after divorce, it can be important to take a moment to enjoy dating different people. You should know that there will be some people that you will not be interested in pursuing a second date with and vice versa. Don't become disheartened if you don't get a phone call asking for a second date. It's common and should be expected with a few dates. If this happens, move forward with the next date, though it's also okay to wait a bit before going on the next date if you need a breather. It's important not to take the whole dating thing too seriously.

Don't pursue too aggressively

Divorcees are comfortable and more familiar with the idea of a couple. This makes it difficult for some to eliminate old habits, such as acting like a couple wherever you go. When dating someone new, it's important to respect the fact that it's only a date. Don't be too aggressive in your pursuit—this could cause the other person to distance themselves. Remember to always remain respectful of the person you're dating, and never assume that the date is more than just a friendly outing.

By being respectful, you project an appreciation of your own self-worth and, with any luck, leave your date wanting to learn more about you. 

This is only a test

You are committing to test the dating waters.  Dating after a divorce may work or it may not right away, but just keep an open mind. Every date won't be ideal; you may have to go through a few of them before you reach the one you find most intriguing. Be open to keep trying, and during the process, you may learn more about yourself than you ever thought possible.

Date outside the box

Don't be so determined to stick to a routine. Be open to trying different things, perhaps something you never thought would interest you, like trying dating apps or dating someone you never saw as your type. Following a divorce, you may be more willing to date someone completely different than what you thought was the perfect mate for you.

Flirt a little

It's okay to flirt a little. Flirting is a great way to connect with others. It's a sign of confidence and helps to break down barriers between two people. Be tasteful and playful in your flirting efforts and never too strong in the approach. Remember that flirting is temporary and does not guarantee a lifetime of love.

Instant chemistry doesn't necessarily lead to a relationship

Emotions and warm feelings that surface when you date someone new can instantly make you think that a relationship is brewing. These feelings can lead a person to believe that there is an instant relationship that will last forever.

It's common for a divorcee to crave a new and promising relationship. However, take things slow and put the idea of a new relationship on ice. It'll keep. Chemistry with a date isn't always something that happens instantly. It can develop over time or after a few dates with a person.

Tread carefully if the person seems too good to be true

You should not be blinded by pretenses or claims when dating someone new. Some people may see you as vulnerable because you've just come out of a relationship. They may feel that you're likely to believe anything. If your date seems too good to be true, tread carefully. Pay attention to the little things they do, such as imposing a commitment soon after you start dating, constantly calling, texting, or showing up unannounced. These could be signs that the person's intentions aren't genuine. It may help to have friends assess their behavior and offer their insight on what they think about the person.

Plan your dating direction

Following a divorce, it can be hard to find your way. Once you're open to the idea of dating again, you want to stay on track. You don't want to repeat the mistakes and heartbreaking encounters that you dealt with in your previous marriage. Make a plan that includes a map of all the things you desire to avoid, such as those things that didn't work in your marriage. Be clear in detailing what aspects of the cons you contributed to and what you plan to do differently when dating someone. You may also want to jot down what you're hoping for in a new relationship. If you opt to consider online dating, it would be helpful to know the best online dating tips for safely and successfully navigate the online dating world.

Be open and honest about your kids

If you have kids, put it out there immediately. Don't hide it, and if you have a dating profile, make sure to state that you have children. Be clear about their ages. If you have young children, let the people you're dating know this. If a person is clear that they don't want to date a person with kids, it's a good time to move away from them and pursue other options in dating.

Take age into consideration

It is common to have a slight age gap between two people. However, having an older female and a younger male together is a less common combination (while an older male and a younger female happens with a little more frequency). Some significant age gaps will work when dating, but they should always be approached with caution. Most dates work best when two people have similar goals and interests, regardless of age. If you are in your senior year and want to get back into the dating world after a divorce, equip yourself with the best senior dating tips.

Stay in tune with your instincts

Listen to what your gut is telling you. If there is something off about the date or you have an eerie feeling about a person, excuse yourself from the date as soon as possible. If the person insists that you stay or is aggressive in trying to detain you, that's another red flag. If your instincts tell you that there may be some positive about the person you're dating, listen to them, and consider this to be a good sign that you're moving in the right direction.

Get ready to start dating again in online therapy

It isn't easy to return to the world of dating after you've been married and divorced. Depending on how things ended, you could be dealing with a lot of difficult emotions. These should be worked through before you try looking for a new relationship.

Online therapy can be a wonderful way to work through issues following a divorce. A good in-person therapist may not be available in your local area; online therapy opens the door to many therapists well-suited to support you through a hard time.

Regain online therapy

Regain is an online therapy platform featuring licensed therapists trained in working with all issues related to relationships. Convenient and affordable, you can speak with a therapist via text, telephone, or video chat. Sessions can take place at a time that works with your busy schedule—and sessions can take place from the comfort of home.

Takeaway

Dating as a divorcee can be fun and could lead to something more. Take the time to examine yourself, your wants, and your needs before embarking on a new relationship. Enjoy the different aspects of dating and remain open to the possibility of starting something new.