He's Into You: Five Signs A First Date Went Well

First dates can be intimidating. Whether you’re meeting someone you met on an app, being set up by friends, or meet a person while out and about, your nervousness about a first date might be all the same. While on a first date, most people show the best versions of themselves. Still, even if the date goes well, it may not lead anywhere. Other dates might go wrong, yet you find that you want to see the person again. So, how do you know if a first date has gone well? How can you decide what to do next? Looking for certain signs that a date has gone well can help you determine if someone may be into you or not. With the information you gather, you can figure out how to move forward, with or without this individual. 

Signs a first date went well

Studies show that men and women see signs a first date went well differently. What a man tends to think makes a first date a success may be different from what a woman sees as a positive first date. Men think women are attracted to them if they get physical with their flirting, especially if it leads to sex. Women, on the other hand, think men are attracted to them if the conversation flowed nicely. If the man can lead a productive conversation, ask powerful questions, and maintain eye contact with their date, a woman who’s on a date with them may feel like a second date could be in their future. These are general findings, however, and shouldn't be seen as set in stone. If you want to look critically at a first date and figure out if it went well, try looking at these five signs.

1. You have chemistry

Sometimes when you're on a first date with someone you can feel chemistry with them, but the other person doesn't sense it, or vice versa. Or you can want a date to work out so badly that you project chemistry onto them even though deep down you can see it just isn't there. There are some subtle signs that you may want to look for to see if your partner thinks you have chemistry, though. 

Body language can say more than words can in some cases. If the person you’re on a date with mirrors your movements subtly, like matching your smile or your posture, they may be signaling that they’re attracted to you without realizing it. If he fully faces you when he’s talking to you, this can show that he’s genuinely interested in you and the date. He might also lean in closer and closer to you as you’re talking, a sign that he’s curious about what you have to say. If your date likes you, he may try to get as close to you as he can. If you notice your date leaning into you while they speak or inching closer to you while you sit, it could be a sign of their interest.

While these aren't foolproof ways to find out if you have chemistry with a date, they can be a helpful starting point. Every person is different, and it may take a few dates to get a read on the person you’re seeing. 

2. Your conversation flows

If you and your date had a lot to talk about and there were hardly any awkward pauses during your conversation, it could be a sign that the first date went well. Being able to openly talk with a new person can be a relief when you are just getting to know them. Further, if you find that you both lost track of time during the date because you were engrossed in conversation with one another, it could be one of many telltale signs of a positive first date. 

Sometimes talking easily comes sometime after the first date, though, so try to keep an open mind if the very first date isn’t flooded with dialogue. Many individuals are shy, socially anxious, or even just normally quiet, so flowing conversation doesn't have to mean constant communication. Silence may feel awkward on a first date, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the date went badly. There can be healthy amounts of silence in everyday life and even within strong, lasting relationships. Try starting with small talk and see where things go. Over time, you may be able to dive deeper into other topics with one another. 

Even if your conversation wasn’t stellar, if you both at least found each other interesting, it could be cause for a second date. So, even if you don’t necessarily have a lot of things to talk about but you still sense your date’s interest in keeping the conversation going, this could be a sign that the date went well.

3. You hug or kiss at the end of the night

Everyone has various levels of comfortability when it comes to physical touch on a first date. Some dates end with a kiss, a hug, cuddling, or even sex. If your date ends the night with a peck on the cheek, a gentle touch on your arm, or a hug, it could be a sign that he felt the date went well. Physical contact can be a positive sign of chemistry, and you may not want to ignore it. 

Getting physical doesn't always mean a date went well, either. If a date is looking for a hookup, they might just want a good time before moving on. Expressing your expectations of one another can help avoid misunderstandings. Likewise, if your date shows some restraint on the first date by offering a small hug or kiss, it could mean that they are interested in more, but want to get to know you better first. 

Remember that you get to decide how physical you want to get on a first date. Someone who deserves another date with you will respect your limits or boundaries on a first date.

4. He wants to know more about you

Initial dates provide an opportunity for you to get to know the other person better, and for them to get to know you. When you are on a first date and the conversation is flowing, a clear sign that he may like you can be that he has a lot of questions prepared for you. If he goes on and on about his own life but never asks you any questions, he might be more interested in themselves than you. This inattention could be a warning sign of disinterest or a lack of chemistry. However, it could also be his way of trying to find common ground with you. 

Many times, if a date truly wants to get to know you more, they'll ask you about your life, your interests, your past, and your future plans. Your answers to these questions can help him decide whether you two might be compatible. When a conversation can go back and forth with each person asking questions, it could be a sign of mutual chemistry. Further, opening up about who you are can be one of the most effective ways for each of you to assess whether a second date might be in order.

5. You have the same values

Sometimes a first date may check off all your boxes physically, but you aren't a match internally. If you don’t share the same values, it can be a bumpy road to try and continue a relationship with them. Values aren't the same as interests. You can get a feel for how your date views and responds to the world no matter what their interests and hobbies are. 

While you can have close relationships with people who have different hobbies, tastes, and habits, it’s often more challenging to be in a romantic relationship with someone who doesn't believe in the same things you do. They may think differently about having kids, getting married, going to church, or spending time with family. 

Finding these differences may cause you to rethink things. Are you willing to work through these differences for this date? Are any of these concerns true deal breakers? If you discover that you and your date share the same values, it may set you up for success with future dates. Finding common ground with one another can be a positive sign that the first date went well and may even signal compatibility for a longer-term relationship.

Online counseling with Regain

If you are in the dating scene and can't seem to make it past a first date, you may want to consider relationship counseling. Regain is an online counseling platform that provides guidance for a variety of concerns. Whether you need to improve your self-esteem, improve your communication skills, or move past emotional baggage holding you back, you can connect with a therapist trained in that area. The process of dating can be stressful, but you don’t have to face it alone. While you’re texting with your crush and planning the next date, you can also be messaging your therapist getting advice about how to help it go well. Getting the support that you need may be easier, more convenient, and more affordable than ever before. 

The efficacy of online counseling 

Those in the dating arena may experience rejection at a higher rate than others do. Rejection can cause emotions like anger and sadness and even lead to conditions like anxiety or depression if it happens repeatedly. Each of these issues may be able to be successfully addressed in online counseling, as one study pointed out. Researchers found that an online counseling intervention was just as effective as a face-to-face one. Those in the online group experienced fewer symptoms of depression, interpersonal sensitivity, and anxiety, which could allow them to put themselves back out into the dating scene with more confidence. 

Counselor reviews

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“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”

Takeaway

First dates can be difficult to read, particularly if the person you went out with isn’t very expressive about their feelings. In some cases, you may have to take the lead and be up front about your own feelings. Dating others means opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection, but it also means you have the opportunity to connect with someone who can add to your life in a meaningful way. If you’re struggling with your dating life, confiding in a therapist could be beneficial. A Regain therapist can offer their advice and guidance right from your phone as you search for that special someone.