Is Hanging Out With A Guy Alone A Date? How To Tell Where Your Relationship Stands

Dating can be a confusing journey on its own, whether you've met somebody and begin the dating phase with them fresh or whether a friendly relationship begins to develop into something a bit more after time. The first steps in figuring out if you're dating or simply just hanging out with a love interest is to determine how to identify dates that aren't crystal clear, and then you will be more able to point out the times when you're simply enjoying each other's company in less defined circumstances, so you know where your relationship stands.

The early stages of dating and becoming more comfortable in your dating relationship

The early stages of dating in a potential relationship can often be pretty easy when it comes to pinpointing what is and isn't a date. When you first meet someone, you generally make it a point to set specific days and times to meet up in the course of getting to know each other. These can be typical dates, such as going to a movie or going out for dinner or can even be something more casual such as meeting up for a walk at a local park to spend time talking and learning more about the other person.

As you grow to become close to someone you've decided to date though, you will often begin spending a lot more time with them, and this is when a bit of confusion may arise about what exactly is taking place in the "dating" area of your relationship together.

Depending on your age and what place in your life you may currently be in, having a few dates may be hard to pull off with a busy schedule once you've found the person that seems to be right with you you may feel you don't have the energy to meet up for those first few encounters; however, making an effort in those initial stages is a necessary to get to know someone and decided if they are worth spending your extra time with. But as you grow a bit more comfortable you may find that sometimes it's easier to have company and hang out with that person as you accomplish other tasks or need to unwind even if there are still plenty of other responsibilities to tend to during the rest of your hours and days.

Reaching the "hang out" stage with a dating partner is a great step during the course of a relationship the initial "testing" stages fade into the opportunity for building up a sense of comfort between the two individuals and is the beginning of fostering a healthy friendship. If you still feel the need for clarification on what is and isn't a date in your particular relationship you should be just fine asking directly; or even just addressing the issue by asking your partner for the two of you to set aside specific times for actual "confirmed" dates even in spite of your schedules.

When friendship becomes a bit more

Sometimes you may not have started a potentially romantic situation by meeting someone with the intention of dating or pursuing more. Occasionally, we may find ourselves growing closer to someone that we were already initially friends with, but the dynamic seems to be changing.

Friends generally always hang out at some point or another and have outings that could qualify as dates to some people, but when a friendship starts to develop into something more, there may be questions about what qualifies as going out on an actual date compared to just hanging out as usual with the person.

In these cases, a date may have a bit more emphasis placed on it compared to any usual activities that you participate in with this person. They may be a bit more hesitant or seem to be placing a bit more significance on the event rather than just the usual way of calling you up to do something together. If you have progressed from a friendship into a clear dating relationship, your friend-turned-love-interest may make an extra effort to take you on special dates that will very clearly be such. If the two of you are still in those initial stages though, they may ask you out to dinner or on an adventure of some sort but discreetly indicate it may be something a bit more than your normal times together. If you're lucky, the friend you're interested in may already be comfortable enough with you (if they aren't worried about damaging the friendship) to be straight forward about wanting to go out with you and clearly stating that the instance will be a date.

If you're the one in the friendship that is wanting to move things in a more romantic direction and is unsure of what to do, try to cautiously find ways best suited for your specific person of interest to ensure they are also interested in moving the relationship in a different direction. Ask them bluntly if they would ever be interested in going out with you in a way that isn't just two friends going out for a meal or to an event together.

Dating a friend can be quite confusing, but when there is enough trust and a strong bond between the two of you, a lot of the normal "I don't know what's going on" issues can be addressed much more easily compared to having met someone strictly for dating and worrying whether or not approaching the topic of the level of seriousness in the relationship will push them away or not. Often, a true friend will be honest with you, and the two of you can proceed forward with openness and great communication about what is the most comfortable way to move ahead in your relationship.

Serious relationships and dating vs. hanging out

As you get closer and closer to someone and your relationship grows into one of love, friendship, comfort, and habit, the initial dynamics you may have had eventually fallen into a bit of a pattern. What once was a Friday night date night may have eventually turned into a regular pattern of watching television shows and eating dinner on the couch together because the relationship has become so comfortable that the two of you feel perfectly content just relaxing together after working all week. So is it a date still? Or is it just hanging out? Can you now tell the difference between hanging out and dating?

While a date is something very specifically planned, anything that you regularly fall into the habit of doing consistently (and which also likely lacks getting dolled up or doing anything special for the occasion) would qualify as just hanging out. You may have had a regular date night of the week when you were first together, each of you taking the time to get ready for a significant event to get to know each other better and probably even having a bit of excitement or nervousness (or both!) when these specific appointments occurred. As you become more comfortable with the other person though, you may find yourself just crashing at their place with a pizza, pajamas, and Netflix on for hours until you fall asleep or head home.

Sometimes a partner or both people in a couple may feel a bit discouraged that the initial excitement stages seem to have passed as hanging out becomes the norm compared to setting aside those special times to go out and do something as intentional as an actual date. Sometimes life changes also affect one's ability to spend the money and time going out when they have so many other responsibilities to tend to as well. In these instances, hanging out can qualify as a date when the two of you aren't able to stick to previous methods of dating each other. Whereas picking up some takeout and turning on a movie to watch can become a familiar and repeated activity for some, it's possible to still place an emphasis on making that time about each other and very specifically setting aside that time together as a replacement for the ways that you used to have dates.

Communication is key

Regardless of which stage your relationship with a person is in, when it comes to hanging out vs. dating (as well as any other issues or concerns), communication is key for understanding exactly where your relationship stands. Read the cues from a partner, your friend, or your potential love interest and try to see how they feel about the experience. If the time is right or if you've already been in an established relationship with them, speak openly and honestly about your questions regardinng the time that the two of you spend together.

For those newly dating and growing more comfortable with a person, if you're unsure but hesitant to ask if the two of you are just hanging out or if your time together is a date, try making comments such as "I really enjoy hanging out with you" or "We should make (whatever activity) a date!" and see how they react. They may give you the answers you're looking for without you having to ask blatantly. For individuals taking a friendship to another level, why not mention a fun activity for the two of you to do and state "It's a date!" in a lighthearted manner. Your friend that may be turning into a love interest is then presented with the opportunity to either take the statement seriously and address whether they want to set boundaries in the friendship, or they may agree excitedly and start the two of you on your path to an even closer relationship.

Either way, be sure to address the issue of hanging out vs. dating comfortably and openly so your love interest doesn't feel pressured or bothered in any way by your attempts to get a bit more information. Even and most especially for relationships that intend to develop into a long-term arrangement, communication is the most important factor for making things work!

How Regain can help

Are you unsure of where exactly you stand in your relationship or dating life? Are you seeing someone and having concerns about going out, not going out, or having uncertainties about how to address these issues? Regain has licensed and trained professionals available remotely and on any schedule to help you sort through your emotions and your worries, and provide valuable guidance and support for any relationship concerns and ways you can learn to approach these issues healthily and beneficially. Don't hesitate to reach out and get the advice and support you need today!

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