Loving A Gamer: What To Know About Dating Guys Who Play Games
If you just started dating a new guy and you like him a lot, then you're probably over the moon. It feels great to meet someone nice, and you like being able to look forward to all the possibilities that the future holds. You might be a bit worried about what to expect from your new boyfriend if you find out that he plays video games. Truthfully, loving a gamer is not any different than loving any other man. Consider the information below to learn what you need to know about dating guys who play video games.
Playing Video Games Is A Normal Hobby
Playing video games is a normal hobby, and it even has certain cognitive benefits. Some people don't realize just how common it is for people to play video games. In modern times, millions of people play video games as a way to unwind after work. This isn't something that only guys do either. Many female gamers are equally as passionate about the hobby.
There are many distinct types of video games out there. Like there are many different movie genres, there are also many video game genres. Your boyfriend might be interested in playing online multiplayer games such as Overwatch or Fortnite. It is also possible that the special man in your life might be more interested in story-driven, role-playing games (RPGs) such as Persona 5, the Yakuza series, or the Witcher games. People play games for varied reasons, but it is mostly about having fun while enjoying getting immersed in a fictional world.
Video games have evolved a lot since the Atari 2600 and the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). They have a very broad appeal, and you might be surprised to learn that you might be a gamer, too. If you have Candy Crush or Wordle on your smartphone, or some other simple video game that you use to pass the time, then that is the same thing. Some people play expansive games with impressive graphics and huge stories, while others play simple games with addictive gameplay elements.
Dating guys who play games isn’t unusual at all. Your guy might like getting together with his friends to play some Halo on Saturdays, but that doesn't mean that he won't be an attentive or loving boyfriend. In fact, many gamers are very emotionally intelligent, and you might find that he will be a great partner for you. Of course, some people play games a bit too much as well.
Some People Do Play Video Games Obsessively
There is also such a thing as . Some people play video games so much that it is detrimental to their health. When someone is addicted to video games, they might decide to play them all the time instead of focusing on other things that matter in life. This is unfortunate, and these extreme cases often cause the worries that you might be having about dating a man who healthily plays games.
If you're wondering whether your boyfriend has a video game addiction, then you need to think about whether role playing games are getting in the way of his responsibilities. Does he miss work due to a new game coming out? If so, that's not necessarily a great sign. If he also ignores you while playing games and seems to care about them more than you, you might have some valid concerns.
This kind of behavior isn't an issue that is unique to video games, though. There are many people out there who get addicted to different things. Some people get addicted to alcohol or drugs. Others might wind up navigating a gambling addiction. All types of addiction are, by nature, ill-suited for the person who is addicted. If your boyfriend is living with a video game addiction, it could be worth getting him some outside help.
Just keep in mind that cases like this are extreme and that your boyfriend is not likely addicted to gaming. He might play quite a bit, but that does not necessarily constitute an addiction. If you binge-watch a new show on Netflix, that doesn't mean that you have a problem. You are just having fun. Try to look at things from an open mind, but do be aware that some people can become addicted to gaming.
Playing Video Games Together Could Be Fun
Taking an interest in your boyfriend's hobby could be a good way to bond with him. One of the best things about video games is that it is a social hobby. You can play video games with each other to have a good time. If this doesn't interest you, then it isn't something that you must do to have a good relationship with a gamer. It's simply something to consider if you think that it looks fun, and it could help you relieve stress.
There are many video games that you can play cooperatively (co-op) with your boyfriend — many couples like finding games that you can play together right on the same couch. You could decide to play a new co-op game such as River City Girls, or you might be more interested in playing some Super Mario games together. There are so many different types of games out there that it shouldn't be too hard to find one that would be fun to play with him sometimes.
These are people who like to buy games and video game-related memorabilia. Regardless, this is something that many people enjoy doing.
If someone loves The Legend of Zelda, they might have many Zelda merchandise just because they like expressing how much the game means to them. It isn't any more unusual than someone having posters or vinyl records of their favorite band. This is just something to be aware of in case your relationship progresses to the next level.
If you decide to move in together, then you might have to find a spot for all his video game paraphernalia and memorabilia. It's fine not to want his video game equipment in the living room, but it'd be nice to give him a spot where he can keep it.
Just Make Sure Video Games Don't Take Up All of His Time
You want to make sure that video games don't take up all of your time. One problem that video games can cause in your relationship is that they may detract from your time together. Your boyfriend should be able to play his games and have fun in other capacities, as well. It's important to have hobbies, and you don't need to spend every waking moment together. That being said, it is not good for him not to put effort into the relationship due to wanting to focus on playing games.
Most people are going to be good at juggling their video game interests with their social relationships and other priorities. He might get interested in a game from time to time, but that doesn't mean he needs to ignore you. Just think about how you might feel when you're enthralled with reading a new book. Reading a good suspenseful novel keeps you turning those pages, and video games can be the same way. Some people want to see the end of the story, so try to understand his desire to play or reach new levels of achievement.
You don't have to like games to love a gamer. You do have to accept, however that your partner enjoys playing them. Loving someone is about accepting them for who they are. Gamers often identify with games in a very personal way. The stories told in these games resonate with people, and they can wind up holding significant meaning in one’s mind. As long as you love him and he can be a good boyfriend to you, then his video game-related behaviors shouldn’t be an issue. You might even find out that you'll enjoy playing casually if you give it a chance.
Don't Hesitate To Contact An Online Couples Counselor
You shouldn't hesitate to make use of online couples counseling if you need a bit of help. If your relationship isn't progressing how you want it to, you might need some assistance to work on certain issues. You can attend couples counseling to work on problems that are holding you back as a couple. This will allow you to make breakthroughs so that you can build the strong bond that you desire.
Online couples counseling is decidedly easy to take advantage of, too. It's very discreet, and you'll be able to receive counseling from the comfort of home (as long as you have a secure internet connect). You can attend counseling sessions as a couple, or you can speak to a therapist individually. Whatever your needs are, you should know that you can be helped by using online counseling. It's possible to turn things around with the right help, so consider taking the time to contact an online therapist.
In a scenario where your boyfriend does have an addiction to video games, he can seek support through Regain for that unhealthy dynamic. A recent online intervention for adolescents diagnosed with internet gaming disorder consisted of six modules and was successful in reducing online video game addiction symptoms. Another study tested a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)-based intervention for excessive gaming, resulting in reduced symptoms of addiction and improved mental health and wellbeing for the study’s adult participants.
Takeaway
If you have grown frustrated by your boyfriend’s video game-related behaviors, or you don’t know how to feel when dating a gamer for the first time, it is worth considering your own assumptions on the topic. Do you have negative feelings toward your boyfriend because you’re unfamiliar with the world of video gaming? Do you feel like your boyfriend uses video games to escape life’s problems, or do they possibly help him find the courage to take on challenges in life? Talking openly and nonjudgmentally with your boyfriend is always a good first step, and if you feel like taking things further would help, know that you can reach out to a licensed therapist on Regain for support.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can Gaming Ruin A Relationship?
For a rapidly increasing number of people (including children and adults), gaming is more than a recreational activity. Gamers dedicate a lot of time and attention to their hobby. It is often difficult to know who’s a gamer and who’s not. So even if they do not put it on their profile on their dating app, you can still end up dating a gamer.
While a relationship between two gamers can be ideal, it is rarely ever that two gamers with an equal amount of interest in the activity end up in a romantic relationship. More often, gamers end up in a relationship with non-gamers, and while this might not seem like much of a problem, gaming has the potential to strain romantic relationships.
While studies show that gaming addiction can manifest as a real disorder, it doesn’t have to get to that level before gaming can hurt your relationship. In many ways, the absence of healthy communication in a relationship can open up the door to negative communication. This can occur when gaming becomes an obstacle in a relationship. The non-gaming spouse may feel neglected and unappreciated; this can make them assume that their partner cares more about the video game than their relationship.
When someone in a relationship starts thinking this way, the relationship is at risk. The gaming spouse is also likely to make a negative assumption. They could, for example, assume that their partner doesn’t value the things they consider to be important and, as such, doesn’t value them. And these are just two examples of the thoughts that can arise when gaming becomes an obstacle in a relationship. Healthy communication is the ultimate foundational piece to dating a gamer (and really any type of person, for that matter!)
This level of caution is not advised in order to discourage gaming as an activity. If you are dating a gamer or you are a gamer who’s in a relationship with a non-gamer, it is important to remember that gaming is a perfectly fine activity. As long as it doesn’t damage the communication in your relationship, then it is unlikely that gaming can harm your relationship. Healthy communication will help both partners understand the other person’s perspective on gaming. This can enable them to curb their excesses and be more considerate of the other person, even outside of gaming.
Should I Date A Gamer?
Various stereotypes govern society’s view of the gaming community. Well, society’s stereotypes are rarely the ultimate dating guide. If we’re honest, gamers are really into gaming, and to the rest of the world, it may seem like they are lost in an artificial world or simulated reality.
The truth is that gamers are just like everyone else, and if you date a professed gamer, it will likely be like dating anyone else who has a hobby. However, is it possible that a relationship with a professed gamer is just not for you? How do you know if you should date a gamer?
This is not the ultimate guide to dating gamers but listed below are the pros and cons of dating a gamer:
Pros
Gamers are generally interesting people. They are often enthusiastic about gaming and other things. When you consider how broad the gaming world really is, the diversity of interests will make it easy to under that gamers are not as monotonous as pop culture claims. No matter what field you’re interested in, there is bound to be a video game for you. The personal interests that gamers have are what determine the video games they play. Sometimes observing a gamer's preferred games can be an ultimate guide to dating them.
Gamers are very dedicated. The gaming community is highly competitive, and because of how globalized the industry is, only highly skilled gamers can refer to themselves as professional gamers. It takes a high level of focus and dedication to play video games. With this quality already in them, you can expect to see the dedication replicated in their other interests and perhaps even in their other responsibilities.
Getting them gifts will be quite easy. With most people, deciding on a gift to get them can be very difficult, but with gamers, it's easy. Get professional gamers a gaming-related gift, and they’ll likely appreciate it. You can get them a new game, and they’ll be just as happy as if you bought them a house.
You don’t have to worry about entertaining them or boring them. Gamers already have the entertainment part of their lives figured out, plus the industry always has a new game to keep them occupied. Though you should still try to make sure you’re fun to be around, the pressure to be entertaining may be less pronounced when you’re dating a gamer. This also means you won’t have to worry about them being clingy.
Cons of Dating a Gamer
They might not be able to spend a lot of time with you. This is because gaming is an activity that is typically time-consuming and also quite immersive.
They play games a whole lot, which could make their routine and overall life look boring and monotonous to you or others.
They might neglect other responsibilities in favor of gaming. This can mean canceling dates or planned outings.
They spend a lot of money on gaming, especially professional gamers.
What Is Dating A Gamer Like?
A gamer can be a very person fun to date. They are often really into pop culture and, as such, will have a wide array of interests and hobbies. They are quite competitive and very passionate about their interests… including their significant others. You don’t need the ultimate guide to dating gamers to understand what they are like.
Gamers are stereotyped as nerds, geeks, and trolls, but they can be really romantic. This is true of anyone, and it is very common to see gamers in healthy relationships. They understand the need to be given the benefit of the doubt due to the barrage of negative stereotypes rained on their community. As a result, they tend to be kind and considerate of others' feelings, giving people the benefit of the doubt before leaping to conclusions.
Although research shows that some gamers tend to be introverted, this isn’t always the case. Gamers are very social; there are many gaming communities that even span several continents. Because of this, gamers often forge more relationships on online platforms than most people do in real life. And they might take part in gaming conventions and events that help them bridge the gaps that gaming might have opened up in their social lives.
Gamers are so different from the stereotype that you might meet one in real life or on a dating app and not know they are gamers until spending time with them or meeting outside the dating app platform. So you can never really know what to expect, but if you’re observant and considerate, you’ll likely have a healthy relationship with a gamer.
How Do You Date A Gamer?
Dating a gamer can be far easier than most people think. You do not need the ultimate guide to date gamers. Even though there are some obvious challenges, it is no different than being in any other relationship. Gamers may see video games the same way athletes attach importance to their sport. They love video games a lot, and this might make it seem like they care more about their video games than they do about you. Creating room for mutual understanding will help you not act based on assumptions and positively express your concerns.
How Do I Live With A Gamer Boyfriend?
Living with a gamer boyfriend is not always easy. This is not the ultimate guide to dating gamers, but there are some obvious things you should and shouldn't do.
It would be best if you didn’t attempt to force them into reducing the amount of time they spend gaming; this may only cause them to resent you. Instead, you can play games with them occasionally to let them know that you have nothing against gaming. But at the same time, communicate your dissatisfaction with how their gaming affects your relationship. This will help them understand that you’re not inconsiderate and will make them take the necessary measures to create balance.
How Do You Love A Gamer?
Is Dating A Gamer Hard?
Do Gaming Relationships Work?
How Do I Get My Gamer Boyfriend To Notice Me?
How Do You Compromise With A Gamer?
Is Gaming Good For Relationships?
Do Gamers Last Longer In Bed?
How Do I Cope With My Boyfriend’s Gaming Habits?
Why Are Gamers Good In Bed?
How Many Hours Of Gaming A Day Is Healthy?
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