Online Dating: How To Avoid Disasters In The Online Dating Site Or App

The internet led to a slew of online dating websites and apps being created, some of which have existed since the 1990s. With the internet, finding a partner can be easier for some people, allowing them to talk to more people without attending events or going out to meet someone. However, the internet can also pose risks, as it’s easier for people to pretend to be someone they’re not or avoid getting caught for fraud or another crime. For this reason, practicing internet safety can help you avoid online dating disasters. Below, explore a few ways to protect yourself and your dates. 

The benefits of online dating: Why some people sign up for dating apps 

Before looking at why dating apps can be dangerous, understanding why people use online dating sites can be helpful. Some of the reasons online dating might be preferred to finding people in person may include the following: 

• Distance to chat before deciding if you want to meet someone 
• The ability to find someone closer to your type, as you can filter by demographics like ethnicity, language, location, age, and distance
• The option to video call with someone before meeting to see if you are comfortable with their energy 
• The ability to block somebody if they make you uncomfortable (In person, you might become uncomfortable trying to get away from someone who makes you uncomfortable) 
• The opportunity to talk to more than one person at once
• The opportunity to reject matches you’re uninterested in without them knowing

Common online dating disasters and how to avoid them

People report several common online dating-related occurrences that may have put them in danger or an uncomfortable or painful situation. Below are a few situations to look out for and ways to avoid them by practicing internet safety. 

Catfishing

“Catfishing” is a term used to describe someone using a fake identity or lying about certain traits to control, manipulate, or trick others. Some people may catfish by lying about their age, appearance, or lifestyle to get a partner they believe wouldn’t want them otherwise. Others may fully catfish by using a completely different identity, such as photos from another person’s profile or of a celebrity.

Even someone using an old photo of themselves from 20 years ago to look younger than they are is a form of catfishing. The person may refuse to do a video call with you, send you photos, or talk over the phone, telling you they can’t and making any excuse to get out of it when you ask. Below are some steps you can take to prevent getting catfished:

• Filter profiles on dating apps to only show verified users
• Join a dating app that verifies people by their identification 
• Don’t swipe on profiles that don’t have photos of them or only have edited, blurry, or out-of-focus photos 
• Do a video call with someone before meeting up, especially if you’ve been talking for a while over text 
• Only meet up in a public location for your first date, such as a coffee shop or bowling alley 
• Reverse search the images using a reverse image search to see if they come up under anyone else’s name on social media 
• If you know the person’s first and last name, search for their social media accounts to verify they exist (some people may not have much of a social media presence, and you can talk to them about this) 
• Don’t give out sensitive information, such as your date of birth, maiden name, address, or last name, to people you met online

Scams or fraud

Scams are common online because people can often get a lot of information from another person anonymously, hiding their location and personal details. To achieve this type of fraud, they may use catfishing or another technique, such as threatening someone or pretending to be genuinely interested in them. Common internet scams include asking someone to buy a gift card, asking for financial support, or pretending to send money through a fake “check,” which a person deposits into their bank account and then sends to the person. Fake checks eventually bounce back from a bank, leading to losses and potential legal ramifications for the person who sent the money.

Never send money to someone you’ve met online without meeting them and starting a relationship where you trust them not to scam you. In addition, do not give out your bank information, full name, address, pin, card number, mother’s maiden name, or any other sensitive information someone might use to pretend to be you or get information from you. 

Unhealthy or unwanted behavior 

Dating apps don’t only involve deceitful actions but can also lead to uncomfortable or unwanted behavior from a date. For example, a person might send you unwanted photos, become obsessed with you quickly, or make unreasonable requests from you early on, such as moving in together after a first date. If your date makes you uncomfortable, having prepared beforehand may help you handle the situation. Below are a few ways to prepare for any situation: 

• Talk to the person over a video call before meeting in person to pick up on whether you seem compatible or not 
• Set an end time for the date so you know you can leave if you need to
• Have a friend available to call you and make up an emergency in case you need to leave early with an excuse 
• Schedule dates in a public place you’re familiar with so you know how to navigate your surroundings and can ask other people for help if needed

A lack of interest 

You might meet someone online and soon realize you’re not interested in them or don’t have chemistry with them. If the other person is still interested, you might be uncomfortable knowing how to reject them or stay friends. This situation can turn scary if a person is especially persistent or doesn’t listen to your boundaries. In these cases, you might consider blocking the person on the dating app and any social media apps they have followed you on. You can also report them on the dating app if they’ve treated you unkindly or continued to pursue you. If someone starts to show up at your workplace or home or won’t take blocking and “no” as answers, you can report them for stalking.  

Dangerous situations 

Dangerous situations may sometimes arise from dating apps, especially when people do not take steps to protect themselves. Although crime is never a survivor’s fault, you can try to prevent crime with the following safety tips: 

• Don’t meet in places where dating crimes often occur, such as natural trails away from the public, a stranger’s house, someone’s car, or remote locations with no cell signal 
• Listen to your gut instincts about a person, even if they seem okay on the surface
• Don’t go to someone’s home or motel room after the first date
• Be cautious inviting someone to your own motel room by informing the concierge who they are and authorizing them with the front desk first
• Tell someone where you’re going when going on a date and share your location with them, as well as information about the person 
• Do not physically resist a robbery, as those who do are more likely to be killed by their assaulter 

Practicing internet safety: Tips to protect yourself from harm 

Outside of dating tips, you can use internet safety tips to avoid other internet scams that can sometimes occur on dating apps. Below are some tips from Kaspersky: 

• Don’t put your middle or last name on dating apps
• Practice safe browsing by using a safe browser and antivirus software 
• Use a VPN connection to hide your IP address, which can show your physical location in some cases
• Don’t download files from messages with strangers, and don’t click on a link if you’re unsure what it is
• Choose a strong password for your dating apps, online banking apps, and other important accounts
• Don’t send explicit photos with your face or identifying information in them 
• Be careful about your photos and posts by making sure they don’t show your house number or other personal information 
• Back up your data 
• Never give your social security number to anyone online 

Other ways to meet dates

Mental health support options 

Dating can take a toll on mental health, especially if you encounter challenges due to online dating risks. Talking to a therapist may be helpful for support, and you don’t have to leave home to do so. Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp for individuals and Regain for couples can be accessible resources. Through these platforms, you can work with a provider via phone, video, or live chat sessions at a time that works best for you. Studies also back up these methods, finding online therapy highly effective in increasing the quality of life for clients and offering a cost-effective alternative to in-person therapy.