PTSD And Relationships: How To Be There For Your Partner

Updated October 21, 2024by Regain Editorial Team
Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include suicide, substance use, or abuse which could be triggering to the reader.
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Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a severe mental health condition that impacts many people’s lives. Those who have PTSD can have difficulty coping with certain traumatic events that have occurred in the past. Many individuals who have been diagnosed with PTSD have served in the military. However, PTSD can develop as a result of any traumatic event, such as a natural disaster, experiencing abuse (such as domestic violence), or witnessing someone else being abused. When people experience traumatic events, those moments can stick with them and contribute to the development of PTSD.

It is currently estimated that around eight million people live with post traumatic stress disorder during a typical year. This is a condition that impacts all genders. Ten percent of all women will develop PTSD at some point in their lives. Only four percent of men will go through PTSD.

How can I help my partner?

PTSD can impact your relationship but help is available

If your partner is experiencing symptoms of PTSD, you’re probably wondering what you can do to help. Maybe you want to be there for someone you love dearly, but you aren’t sure how to make a difference.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is be a supportive, non-judgmental presence. Allow your partner to express how they are feeling openly. Dating someone with PTSD is difficult, but learning how to assist them as they manage their symptoms and to do the best you can to validate their emotions and experiences can help more than you might think. Remind them that there is help and support available, and they are not alone.

At the same time, it is important to note that having the support of others is helpful but does not replace professional support. Offer to help your partner research options for mental health professionals. There is a treatment that can help individuals with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) reduce their symptoms and triggers and improve their quality of life.

Help to identify and manage triggers

People who have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may have certain triggers that can cause them to re-live painful events from the past. If you can understand the types of things that can trigger these episodes, you can do your best to keep them from happening. For example, loud noises or explosions might trigger episodes in some people who have PTSD. Others might experience distress when they’re exposed to flashing lights, or when they visit a place that reminds them or wherever their trauma occurred. 

Learn about these triggers, and then do your best to learn ways to manage them that work best for you and your partner. It can be helpful to work with a mental health professional to develop strategies for coping when your partner is experiencing a trigger. You won’t be able to plan for and eliminate all possible triggers, but you can have a plan in place to help to support your partner should a trigger occur.

Understand that your partner will have bad days

Ilona Titova/EyeEm

Those who have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) occasionally deal with extreme emotions. This can manifest itself as a type of angry outburst, sudden crying, or irritability. Your partner might yell at you or seem incredibly irritable during days when their symptoms are more severe. When this happens, it can be tough to keep from getting emotional about it.

It can be helpful to prepare yourself mentally. Remind yourself that your partner’s behavior is not their choice or their fault and that it is not about you. Try to remain compassionate and patient as your partner navigates the ups and downs of living with PTSD.

Recovery can take time; however, with the appropriate treatment, an individual can learn to manage their condition and experience less impactful symptoms and triggers over time.

You need to take care of yourself too

Taking care of yourself is also very important when you want to be there for your partner. You know how tough living with PTSD and PTSD symptoms can be, and you understand that there will be tough times ahead. This is why taking care of yourself matters so much. If you are not taking care of and supporting yourself physically and mentally, it’s unreasonable to expect yourself to be able to do those things for someone else. 

It is important to prioritize having a support system for yourself. As much as you want to be always there for your partner, there are going to be days when you’ll need someone to lean on. Having your family or close friends to talk to about your feelings can be useful. Sometimes you may need to process your emotions and speak to someone outside of the situation. It isn’t something that you have to face alone.

You can also try to get others to help your partner out, too. For instance, your partner might also have a family who loves them very much. They may be willing to help when possible so that you can take some time away from yourself to pursue your interests. As much as you love your partner, it’s still important to maintain a life outside of the relationship.

Our support systems need support, too

Getty/AnnaStills
PTSD can impact your relationship but help is available

PTSD affects millions of people worldwide yearly. Whether you’re experiencing PTSD or have a partner with PTSD whom you want to support, online therapy can be a great resource. Through Regain, you can sign up for couples counseling to help you navigate your relationship difficulties. You could also pursue individual therapy as an avenue of prioritizing your mental health as you support your partner. Sessions can be held via phone, video chat, or instant and secure in-app messaging anywhere you have an internet connection and feel comfortable.

Online therapy has been found to be overall just as effective as traditional in-person therapy. The National Center for Health Research conducted a meta-analysis of dozens of studies focused on internet-based therapy effectiveness. They concluded that online therapy just as successful as in-person therapy for a variety of disorders and concerns, including PTSD and trauma, grief, depression, anxiety, and more.

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