Should You Go For The Second Date Kiss?

You’ve made it through the first date, and the second date has been accepted. There’s a bit more pressure now that you’ve begun to get to know one another, which can impact how the second date plays out. There are so many questions; so many variables can make a second date uncomfortable and awkward, for example, whether you should go for the second date kiss.

While no hard and fast rule states the second date is when you should kiss someone, it’s a common source of stress when dating someone new. It may be helpful to think of it this way: because your partner has accepted the second date, it’s probably safe to assume they like you and are interested in getting to know you better.

 If you’re unsure whether you should make a move and go for the second date kiss, we’ll talk about some tips that should indicate where your date stands so that you can confidently make your decision.

What to do on a second date

Since you’ve become more acquainted with your date, you’ve probably learned more about their likes and dislikes. Use this to create a well-rounded and personalized second-date experience. This will show effort, listening, and attention skills, which all partners appreciate.

If your date mentioned enjoying sports, consider taking your second date to a game. If they enjoy arcades and video games, consider heading to an arcade or bar with board games. These small, thoughtful actions will go a long way in creating a more comfortable and familiar atmosphere, which will, in turn, help the flow of the date. Once both of you are in a familiar, low-pressure setting, you can continue to get to know one another, do something you both enjoy, and learn more about your compatibility and attraction to one another.

Second date kiss

We live in an interesting time where it seems that people are more straightforward than they have ever been before. There’s a lot less shyness and more going after whatever you want. If you chose to stay a bit more on the safe side during your first date and did not kiss, there may be a bit of added pressure this time on your second. Now you must ask yourself, should you go in for the kiss or not? Everyone makes their ‘relationship milestones’ at different times. Still, there’s typically a lot of potential for a first kiss by the second date once you’ve both had a chance to explore one another a bit deeper.

The first kiss may be more important than you think

The first kiss between a new couple is always filled with mixed emotions. On a chemical level, there may be excitement, anxiousness, nervousness, happiness, and maybe even some tension. Kissing is a form of intimacy. You may even consider it the gateway to full physical intimacy, as most people tend to kiss before going further in their romantic relationship. 

Consider personal expectations

Before thinking about whether they will kiss you back or be entirely against it, begin more introspectively on your second date. As mentioned before, times change when some people kiss on the first date, and others don’t kiss for a while. Move at your own pace. The second date is still very early, so don’t pressure yourself to feel enough connection to kiss. If there appears to be pressure on either end, this is not a great indicator of your relationship’s remainder. Both parties should respect each other’s personal feelings about becoming more intimate.

Go with the natural flow

If you’ve picked an activity that you can both enjoy, things should feel relatively comfortable, and you should be having a good time together. The second date kiss is often expected to happen towards the end of the date, as you are dropping your date off at home or leaving the location separately, whichever the case may be. 

But there may be times before the end of the date when it seems natural to try kissing. For example, if you’re both playing mini-golf and have a movie-worthy hole-in-one moment, and if you feel like you and your date are experiencing the same level of chemistry, it’s okay to kiss at that point. If you feel unsure or are afraid of rejection, ask if it’s okay to kiss your date. This doesn’t have to be a weird moment at all. Most people find it charming and endearing when their date says, “I’d like to kiss you right now.” This goes a long way in creating a comfortable situation for both people.

It’s okay if your partner says no or feels uncomfortable kissing. That does not have to ruin your date, and it doesn’t mean they’re not interested. A ‘no’ should be respected, and this doesn’t mean the end. It may simply mean that your date wasn’t ready yet, which you two can also discuss later towards the conclusion of your time together.

Start small

You and your partner must establish some connection before going in for the second date kiss. When you feel a moment of connection, consider going in for a simple hug. If your date is open and receptive to your hug, this can indicate the date’s natural progression toward a kiss. If you feel awkward during the hug or notice any physical tension, this may not be the best time to try the first kiss.

What does a ‘kiss’ mean to you?

If you try to go in for the kiss and your date isn’t into it now, think about what the kiss implies to you and how that may differ for your date. A kiss can mean many different things to different people- so you might ask yourself if a kiss represents a long-term commitment or something more casual. If you aren’t sure how your date views kissing but feel you have strong chemistry by the end of the date, a kiss on the cheek is fine. At that point, they’ll probably drop some clues as to whether they’d like something more intimate.

Wait until the end of the date

If there appears to be some miscommunication or mixed signals throughout the second date and there hasn’t been a kiss yet, wait until the end of the date to figure things out. Not everyone figures things out during the date, and that’s okay. Towards the end, you both can recap where you’re both at and how you’re feeling.

If you’re on the fence about going in for the kiss but still interested in continuing to see the person and want them to know you’re interested, try saying something like, “I had a great time with you and would love to see you again soon.” See how receptive your date is to this; look for body signals that show their interest or maybe even their disinterest. This will help give you a clue as to where you stand. If you guys seem to be stalling with one another before going your way, this is typically an indicator that the other person is awaiting the kiss. Again, the most important thing is to read your date’s signals and try to sense how receptive they appear.

The second date kiss can be a nervous time for both parties. No one enjoys being rejected, and it can create an awkward moment, especially if you’re still in the middle of your date. The most important thing to do is be communicative with one another, read the signals, and be respectful of others’ feelings, even if they aren’t the same as yours.

There’s no ‘right time to have your first kiss with a new partner, and these things can be different for different pairs. The decision to kiss has less to do with ‘second date’ pressure and more with how you feel. If you notice chemistry, happiness, and feelings that indicate you both may be interested, go for the kiss. Trust your feelings. The worst that happens is that the other person is not ready, and that’s okay because nothing can be gained without being willing to take the risk.

Work through dating barriers in online therapy

The second date is an exciting time of possibility for what’s next in your budding relationship. The “butterflies” we get before we lean in for the kiss are part of that excitement. But not everyone is comfortable dating, and some people have difficulty finding the self-confidence to ask for a date, much less a kiss. There are many reasons why this could be, and it isn’t always easy to isolate and uncover them. 

If you’d like to date but don’t feel confident enough to enter the dating world, confiding in friends and family may help some. Still, many people don’t feel comfortable divulging their feelings about dating and intimacy. Consulting a counselor specializing in dating, relationships, and intimacy may be a great choice in cases like these. 

But therapy can be off-putting for some. Finding the time to commute to the office and attend appointments is challenging for many people with busy schedules. Some people don’t have a therapist, and some feel that counseling is too expensive. 

Online therapy is an excellent solution to barriers like these. Platforms like Regain connect people with licensed, accredited counselors online who specialize in dating, intimacy, and much more. You can speak to a Regain counselor from the comfort of home via text, online message, video chat, and phone at a time that works best for you. 

Virtual therapy is often less expensive than conventional therapy without insurance. A growing body of research shows it’s as effective for assisting with a wide range of mental health issues, including those associated with problems in relationships and dating. For more assistance navigating the dating world, visit Regain, where a certified professional will happily address any concerns regarding dating or your well-being. 

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