What Are The Most Important Stages Of Dating?
With today's digital advances, your next date could be just a click away. The surplus of dating sites and digital apps make it easier to find a prospective mate. Browse a few profiles to find someone who similar interests, and suddenly, you're on a date. This is only one approach to dating, as the traditional way of asking someone out on a date still exists. However, if it's been a while since you've been on a date or you're just not too comfortable asking someone out, dating may seem like a science or foreign language.
Dating should be fun, exciting, and adventurous, but it can also be challenging for some people. The biggest challenges present themselves because people are more concerned about what the other person wants out of the relationship than their own goals with dating. Dating is different for everyone. Some people date to have fun, companionship, or someone to good times within life. Others date in the hope of building or establishing a healthy and happy relationship.
Regardless of the reasons, it helps to grasp the concept of the most important stages of dating. There are a variety of categories that classify certain stages of dating. It's not always easy to categorize them into one class. To keep it simple, let's approach the open phases and closed phases of dating. The open phases of dating tend to progress like a storyline, in that it follows a certain order. The closed phases of dating are the exact opposite, in that they tend to work towards an ultimate end.
Closed dating phases usually occur when you navigate certain stages of dating too quickly or if outside influences impact a current stage and cause a couple to move on to the next. In hindsight, closed dating phases have an almost predictable ending, but the couple goes through the motions for the moment.
Keep in mind that the stages of dating are flexible and will look different for each couple. What matters most is your comfort and the comfort of your partner.
Here are a few closed-phase stages of a dating relationship
The not-so-promising one-night stand
It is important to understand that a one-night stand is not the same as a night of passion. You should know that a one-night stand is exactly as it implies: physical intimacy that is only for one night. There would be no future in it if one or both parties involved had intentions of only hooking up for a one-night stand. It is important to express or examine your expectations before a one-night stand, especially if you see it as a prelude to a relationship.
Friends with benefits
This is a common phrase that is often established between two friends who want to pursue a sexual relationship. The keyword is sexual because it is established with boundaries that nothing more will develop. While this is not always the case, because you can't always control your feelings, this phase should never be started with false hope.
Most importantly, don't allow yourself to accept this phase to get your friend to develop feelings and hopefully begin a relationship with you. This will only make it more challenging to move forward in a real relationship if you're hoping for something more to grow from this phase.
The romantic interest that’s really just a friend
This phase is closed but different from the others. This describes a situation where there was a lot of flirting, a little interest, but maybe no chemistry. It quickly develops into a friendship. There are several reasons that this occurs.
In some cases, people are just extremely nice, making them seem like the perfect partner, but they're really just a friend. It's important to be involved with a nice person, but a relationship requires more. There may be other things about that person that aren't appealing or that you aren't attracted to enough to date them. You may find that it's easy to be friends with them but not interested in dating them. The reality is this. Flirting and talking with a friend is sometimes fun but doesn't always indicate that you should be dating them.
You're not dating
You're on the rebound. This is a risky and sometimes hurtful phase that people encounter when dating. It's common for a person who has just come out of a relationship to seek ways to help them get over the other person. You may think that it's dating as usual, but if a person is coming out of a relationship, they may not be fully committed to the new person they're dating.
Usually, when this happens, it's difficult for the other person to see that someone is using them as a rebound because they're mesmerized with the idea of dating altogether. The dating cycle goes well until the person decides to resume life with the former person they dated or to move on with life without you.
The stand-In
Ouch! This one may be familiar to almost everyone at some point. It's when a person only dates you when it's convenient for them. You are the person that they call because they need a date for a certain event and don't want to go alone. You may be the person who they call when going out with a group of friends who all have dates. But, other than those times, they never call you. You're not dating to build a relationship. You're merely a person of convenience to them. They call you when necessary, but there's not much more to the relationship or lack thereof.
The opposite of closed phases of dating is open phases that could eventually lead to a relationship. Here are a few open phase stages of a dating relationship.
The Flirtation Zone. This is common and one of the easily recognized stages of a dating relationship. Flirting can be fun and lead to much more if both parties agree. It's the first hint that a person does to show that they are attracted to someone. It usually occurs subconsciously the instant you see a person that you're attracted to. It's a key player in the game of dating and somewhat of a prerequisite to the first date.
Pay attention to how the other person receives or returns your flirtation. Use their reaction as a scale to ensure that you don't overstep the boundaries. Be careful not to spend too much time flirting. After a while, they may think that you're only a flirt and not interested in a date.
The impression stage
This takes place after flirting and the moment the first date is extended and accepted. You must make sure that you're impressive enough to get a second date. Treat your date nicely, make nice gestures, and do little things to encourage a romantic relationship. This is the phase where both parties should be displaying traits that make the other person want to pursue them in a relationship.
Engage in interesting conversation, compliment your date on their efforts to make a date memorable, and make sure they're comfortable during the date. Don't be too aggressive or come off as too anxious, as this could be a turnoff when dating.
The physical stages of a dating relationship
After you've flirted, impressed, and gotten to know your date, things may begin to progress into something more. One or both of you may be thinking about the physical phase of dating. It's a good idea to make sure you both are on the same page and want to form a physical connection. At this point in the dating process, a comfort level should have been established, making it easier to approach or discuss this phase.
Time To Introduce Them To Your Parents. This is a phase that some look forward to, while others cringe at the thought of. Once the proposal comes along to meet the parents, it could be a scary thing. It may be a sign that it's time to further take the relationship or that their approval is needed before things get too serious. In either case, the desire is there to move further along in the relationship.
It's best to make a good impression when meeting the parents. If there are no intentions of taking the relationship further, you may want to hold off on meeting the parents until you're sure you want to take it further.
Make It Exclusive. If you're comfortable with where you are in the relationship, it may be time to make it exclusive. This phase takes place before the engagement or wedding bells. It's a phase that permits the two of you to become closer and grow as a couple. You become more engaged in each other's lives and work to help each other reach their goals.
In the beginning, the stages of a dating relationship could seem like tiny steps, and you become eager to take bigger steps. Be mindful of the stages, don't rush things, and you should be able to coast through each open stage without fault.
If you're considering or in a dating relationship, a therapist can help you navigate through your feelings to understand your goals regarding dating better.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What are the stages of dating?
There aren’t always distinct stages of dating in every relationship, so if yours doesn’t follow this model, that’s okay! With that said, here are some of the most common dating stages you might experience:
- The beginning of a relationship: the honeymoon phase. At this stage of a relationship, you’re still getting to know each other.
- Experimentation: you might explore new things and places together, for instance, or try out different hobbies together
- Intensifying feelings: this stage of a relationship can happen over a long period of time
- Co-dependence: you might move in together at this point, and you likely consider your partner to be long-term
- Final stage: Permanent or long-term decision-making, like getting married, buying a house, having children, etc.
Dating relationships are all different, and some people are more comfortable moving at different speeds than others. Dating relationships can also be impacted by all sorts of outside factors and conflicts in life.
Also, remember that the relationship doesn’t end with getting married and committing to each other. In fact, that may be when the larger part of your life begins. After getting married, couples still face hardships and notice that their relationship changes and evolves. In fact, it may even be beneficial for both people to change and grow over time as they get older- most people don’t want to feel stagnant or trapped.
Relationships are not a climb to the peak of the mountain, and getting to marriage doesn’t exactly mean you can kick your shoes off and relax now that you’ve gotten to the end goal. Relationships mean your life or part of your life with someone, and life is a journey without one specific destination. Relationships aren’t about reaching an end goal but rather enjoying the ride with the company.
If the stages of a relationship we’ve outlined happen quickly for you, that’s okay. If the stages of a relationship we’ve outlined don’t happen for you at all or happen in a different order, that’s okay too! The best relationship advice is often to trust yourself and your feelings for your partner, even if things seem unconventional.
The way we date has changed a lot (online dating, casual dating, etc.), so there are no official rules. Our relationship advice: have fun, be safe, and enjoy your time with the person you care about.
What are the 7 stages of a relationship?
Not everyone can identify distinct stages of a relationship, but many people do. Here are 7 key dating stages you might experience:
- Honeymoon stage: during this time, you’re likely experiencing little to no problems and are just getting to know each other. This can be an awkward stage - think first dates, learning new boundaries, and those sorts of stressful situations.
- Experimental stage: this might include trying out new things together, traveling, etc.
- Developing into a serious relationship; you might make it official, for example, during this stage
- Long-term relationship development, intensifying of feelings
- Integrating each other into daily life
- Moving in together, or otherwise making long-term commitments to each other
- Final stage: this could be the end of a relationship, or it could simply be the point you reach when your relationship fluctuates less.
Again, the stages of a relationship we outlined don’t have to be universal, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t fit into them. Dating relationships are unique and varied, as are the people in them.
Lots of dating tips suggest a certain course of action to create a successful relationship, but the truth is, there is no rule book for building strong dating relationships. The best dating tips are often those that encourage problem-solving skills, open communication, and self-confidence.
How often should you see someone you’re dating?
When you’re seeing someone, you might hit an awkward stage where you’re unsure of how much time to commit to them, especially if it’s early on. There really is no secret number of times you should see someone you’re in a romantic relationship with - it depends on your preference and relationship.
In healthy relationships, you might see each other a few times a week. Still, in other healthy relationships, daily contact is a must. It really is up to you, your partner, and your schedule; some prefer more space and independence than others.
Consider how quickly you want to move with this person. If you feel very excited and ready to commit right off the bat, then consider that spending a lot of time together may lead your relationship to move faster, as you get to know each other much quicker. If you are at a phase in life that keeps you busy and you aren’t sure about committing yet, then you can spend less time together, maybe only going out once on weekends. When you see each other less, major landmarks like your first fight, sleeping together, or moving in together, may arrive more slowly since you aren’t spending as much time together as, say, couples who hang out every day.
Dating relationships are tricky, and each one you have with a different person will likely be a unique experience. When you get to the stage of a relationship where you want to spend lots of time together, the best relationship advice might be to embrace it, so long as your partner is also comfortable with it.
With the way the dating world works now - online dating, blind dates, long-distance dates, etc. - the way we look at dating tips and dating relationships is very different. Don’t feel pressured to listen to conventional dating tips if they don’t feel right for your relationship!
How long should you date before moving in?
One of the best tips for dating successfully is to facilitate open and honest communication, and this same advice applies when it comes time to move in together. If you get to the stage of a relationship where moving in sounds appropriate, that can be reason enough to go through it.
Of course, there’s no need to rush dating relationships, and lots of dating tips discourage moving too fast. It can be helpful to ask yourself why you’d like to move in together and what the potential risks or cons are as well; this can help you gain perspective and evaluate whether or not your feelings are practical or not.
The stages of a relationship are different for everyone and can happen at different speeds. That’s okay! No two dating relationships are the same, no matter what dating tips or others might say. Dating relationships can also be impacted by many factors outside your control - work, school, money, distance, and more.
When it comes to giving relationship advice, our dating tips are usually focused on healthy communication skills and a focus on self-care. If you seek out the relationship advice of others to help you make your decision, remember that your own personal feelings on this topic should always be prioritized over others' opinions.
How long is it normal to date before becoming exclusive?
Dating relationships all move at different speeds for different people, so if you’ve gotten to the stage of a relationship where commitment to each other feels right, then that can be reason enough to become exclusive.
Many dating tips online and elsewhere might outline a specific timeframe for dating, but the truth is that dating tips can be ineffective for some and successful for others. The only dating tips that you need, beyond what you use to help maintain a healthy relationship, are those that come from yourself and those close to you.
Still, dating tips aside, it can be hard to keep up with the pace of a romantic relationship. You can date for a few weeks and feel ready to become official, but you might date for months without a title in other scenarios. Relationship stages vary massively from person to person.
Be sure to open up the conversation. If one person in a relationship assumes you are exclusive, and the other thinks that they can still date other people, that can lead to messy, uncomfortable, and even heartbreaking situations. You can always feel free to ask, “Are we exclusive?” “Are we only seeing each other?” or similar questions. Try to establish these boundaries without pressuring your partner, but rather genuinely asking them what they want and how they feel. If you realize that you and your partner are looking for different things, then be prepared to move on and potentially find someone who wants the same things as you.
How often should a guy text if he likes you?
Here are some quick texting tips that might help to keep in mind:
- Be wary of people who seem to never respond to you or text you back, but then are glued to their phone whenever you are together and a person
- It’s always okay to ask someone about their texting habits. Somequestionsmightinclude:
- “Are you a good texter?”
- “Do you prefer talking on the phone or in person?”
- “What apps do you like to use to talk?”
- “How do you usually talk to your friends?”
- If the conversation is difficult or impossible to maintain, it might be best to let it die rather than force it. If your romantic interest asks you about it, then mention that you felt you were putting in most of the effort, and let them know that you want more from them if they are really interested.
- Especially in the modern world, and especially in long-distance relationships, texting can be an important way for a couple to their lives, thoughts, and opinions. So, never let anyone make you feel shallow or silly for asking for more texts.
When you’re talking to someone new (in the honeymoon stage of a relationship), frequent communication is likely something you expect. Still, it’s important not to read too much into things like texting patterns as a judge of how someone feels about you.
Dating relationships are all different, as are relationship stages and the people in them. Some men may text you frequently, but others might prefer other communication forms or don’t text much in general. Online dating has made this sort of problem one that many people worry about; when written text is all you have to go off of, it can be hard to interpret how someone really feels.
The best dating tips we can offer include the following: listen to and trust your gut, be honest with your partner and facilitate communication, and remember that all dating relationships are unique and different. No matter what other dating tips you might see, keeping those things in mind can help ease your worry and insecurity.
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