What Is A Unicorn in Dating? Finding Someone To Join An Existing Relationship

Updated October 18, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Have you heard of people searching for a unicorn to join their existing relationship? If you aren’t familiar with the term, then you might be left scratching your head. It’s quite simple to understand, but you’d likely need to be involved in a polyamorous or open relationship to have encountered one of these situations. The term unicorn in dating isn’t actually about a horse with a single horn growing from its head; rather, it refers to an individual who is willing to join an existing relationship. Often, the unicorn in question is going to be a bisexual woman.

This isn’t always the case, though. There are also situations where same-sex couples will be looking for a unicorn to join their relationship. A bisexual couple could also be seeking out a male unicorn for the same reason. The important thing to know and remember is that this is a term that refers to someone joining a romantic relationship that has already been established between two people. Why is this person referred to as a unicorn, though? Well, you might be able to guess, but we’ll go over that, too.

Understanding the unicorn

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Understanding the unicorn term in dating is mostly about coming to terms with how difficult it can be to find one. The typical unicorn associated with fairytales is a mythical horse that has a beautiful horn on its head. These creatures are very rare in fairytales, and some might even go so far as to question their existence. Of course, the unicorns in these fairytales aren’t something that we have in the real world. Unicorns in dating are real people who exist, but they can be exceedingly difficult to find.

Finding a unicorn to join an existing relationship can be very tough. You have to locate someone who is going to be attracted to both you and your partner. It’s also important to ensure that they’re comfortable with the idea of seamlessly entering a romantic relationship that has already been established. This can be a delicate situation, and many people won’t be comfortable with the idea of becoming a unicorn. Polyamory and open relationships are already niche lifestyles, so finding someone willing to give this a shot is not going to be simple.

This doesn’t mean that you should give up, though. Many polyamorous couples have been able to find their unicorn after searching for a long time. Just understand that it isn’t likely going to occur overnight and that the transition isn’t always easy. Read on to get some important advice about finding someone to join your existing relationship.

Searching online

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When you’re looking for a third person to join your relationship, using the Internet is going to be important. You want to look for people who are interested in the same lifestyle you are. Not everyone is going to be willing to give polyamory a shot. Many of the bisexual people that you encounter on dating sites will not be interested in this scenario. You’ll find that many people are monogamous and like to stick to those types of relationships. This should deter you from searching, but you need to be aware that the search can tax.

When using dating sites, it’s going to help narrow your search to people looking for couples. Modern dating sites give people many options to choose from. You might be able to find a bisexual or pansexual person who is interested in meeting up with you. It’s just important to look and see who is out there. You might find someone promising after a bit of searching, so don’t hesitate to send a message or swipe right. If you wind up matching up, then something great could come of it.

Delving into communities for polyamory

Delving into specific communities for polyamory will be helpful, too. There are social media communities that you can join. There are people out there who are without a partner and are exploring the idea of polyamory. Someone who wants to be with both a man and a woman might be very interested in what you have to offer. It isn’t going to happen right away, and you probably won’t be the only one in the community searching for an elusive unicorn. Regardless, you can find potential matches by using social media communities to your advantage.

Even building relationships with other couples and making friends can be fun. It might be a good way to get some additional support during your search. People searching for a unicorn to join their relationship are often very serious about the polyamory lifestyle. Immersing yourself in the community could give you a sense of belonging and contribute to your chances of encountering a unicorn. However, always remember to keep your expectations reasonable during this process.

Finding partners in real life

Finding partners in everyday life is also a possibility. If you’re looking for a new partner to join your relationship, you might consider looking in the usual places to find singles. Just remember that you’re looking for someone who is bisexual or pansexual. This means that you should probably have the woman in the relationship look for another woman if that is what you’re seeking. Finding a heterosexual girl and then trying to coerce her into becoming a unicorn is a horrible idea. It’ll be easier to find an opportunity if you find someone who is bisexual or pansexual to begin with.

You might consider searching at clubs or bars that cater to the LGBTQ community. Many communities have such bars, and you will likely locate them after doing some simple research online. You can go out looking for new romantic partners as a couple if you wish. It’s also acceptable to send one person if that is something that you are comfortable doing. Just know that your results may vary and that it might not be easy to encounter a unicorn in the wild like this, so to speak.

It’s also good to be on the lookout in everyday life situations. You never know whom you might meet at the grocery store or a concert. Be open to talking with and getting to know others that you meet along the way. Maybe those friendly connections could lead to something else down the line. Just keep your expectations in check as always, and things should be just fine.

Patience is important

Patience is really important when you are trying to find your unicorn. The timeline for finding your unicorn can vary. You have to find a comfortable person with your current relationship and who is also into both you and your current partner. Sometimes sparks will fly between two people and not with the third. This can be very frustrating, but it is something that you’re going to have to accept. Finding a unicorn to join your relationship is something that will take dedication.

If you are willing to wait it out, then you might be able to find your perfect match. Use the above advice to your full advantage and be honest about your expectations. Put your cards on the table, and you might find another honest person who is willing to give it a shot. Your chances will likely be better if you live in an area where polyamory is a bit more common, but you can always search wherever you happen to be. Using the Internet helps substantially, and you’ll probably meet bisexual individuals in everyday life as well.

Don’t get frustrated when something promising doesn’t work out. Just keep trying and remember to appreciate your current romantic partner. Remember to cultivate a strong relationship while you’re looking for a third partner. You’ll find your unicorn someday, and it just might work out beautifully.

Online couples counselors can help

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Once you have finally found your unicorn, it might take some getting used to. This new relationship dynamic can also bring about some relationship challenges. It’s common for people to feel jealous, and you might need to work on aspects of your relationship to ensure that everything works out long-term. Luckily, you don’t have to go through this alone. You can reach out to dedicated online couples counselors for assistance. They are ready to assist you along the way, helping you work through your relationship dynamics. These situations can be complex, but online couples counselors have experience with situations just like yours.

Online counseling can also be very convenient for the hustle and bustle of daily life. You don’t have to worry about office hours or leave your house to get the help you need. Don’t hesitate to contact an online couples counselor if you need additional support.

Counselor reviews

“My girlfriend and I have been working with Alison for about four months now and with her help and guidance we have strengthened our relationship ten fold. Her communication style is amazing and she really strives to make the best of our time with one another. If you’re looking for a counselor you can put your faith in with the whole experience, she’s the one to go to.”

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

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