What Should Happen On A Second Date? Determining Your Expectations
After going on a nice first date, it’s normal to get excited about what a second date has in store. You may be strongly attracted to this new romantic interest—so much so that you’re a bit nervous about the second date. If this is the case for you, understanding what to expect on a follow-up date can help you relax and feel more confident. Below, we’re going to discuss what’s likely to happen on a second date, including tips on learning more about one another, choosing what to do, and getting (or not getting) physical.
Get to know each other better
Because you’ve both decided that you’d like to get to know each other better, the main goal of a second date is to learn more about your potential romantic interest. If you’d like to see how far this connection can go, you can take this time to open up to your date and find out how compatible you are.
This might be a good time to talk about your expectations and what you’re looking for out of a relationship. You could, for example, let them know that you’re simply interested in casual dating; or that you’d like to find a partner. You can even think about some questions to ask if that’s easier for you. You don’t necessarily need to discuss incredibly serious topics or tell your date your five-year plan—just let the conversation flow organically.
What to talk about on a second date depends on your personality. You might want to talk about your interests and your hobbies a bit, while also asking about their life. Talking about the future is a bit serious, but it can be nice to know what someone’s goals are.
Arrange an interesting date
Organizing an engaging and enjoyable date can help lighten the mood and give you a chance to learn more about this person. It can help to switch things up on this date. If you went to dinner on your first date, consider setting up a picnic, visiting an art gallery, or even cooking a meal at home.
Consider setting up an activity that you know aligns with your date’s interests. For instance, if they love the outdoors, then visiting a park might be a good move. You could plan a romantic picnic and enjoy nature while you chat. Some people might even be interested in going on a short hike.
While surprises can be nice, you may be better off asking whether your date approves of your choice of activity. For example, some people might think that going to a concert is a good second date idea and others might find it too noisy. You can also organize multiple activities in one date. Consider starting with something that isn’t as intimate at first, such as mini-golf or a movie, and then going to get coffee or drinks afterward so that you can talk.
Respectfully break the touch barrier
The second date might be a good time to initiate some physical affection, such as a playful touch on the shoulder or hand. Be respectful and cognizant of your date’s comfort level. If they seem uncomfortable with physical touch, that’s a boundary you should not cross until they communicate that they’d like to move forward.
Starting slow is typically a good rule of thumb. For example, a stroll in the park could be a good opportunity to hold your date’s hand or put your arm around them. These little milestones of growing closer can be fun, and they can even get you excited about what is to come. If you’re both feeling comfortable, a second date can be the right venue for your first kiss.
What about intimacy?
Whether you start a physical relationship after the second date is going to depend on you and your date’s comfort level. While many people believe in waiting a specified amount of time, it is completely up to you and your date whether you become intimate.
Consent is the most important factor in starting a sexual relationship. Ensure you and your date are on the same page in terms of what you’re ready to do, and do not do anything you’re uncomfortable with. If you’ve already started to engage in sexual activity, it is absolutely okay to stop and let your date know you’re not comfortable continuing.
If you end up kissing your date, this can help determine the direction the rest of the night will go. The kiss might become passionate and indicate that you’re sexually compatible. If it feels natural and things are getting steamy, then you might want to go further. Again, ensure that your date is comfortable with how things are progressing.
It’s also a good idea to think about how having sex might change the dynamic of your relationship. The timing should feel right between you and your date. There is nothing wrong with taking it to the next level if you both feel like you’re ready for a sexual relationship; but you shouldn’t expect sex to happen on a second date, either. For many people, it’s more the exception than the rule.
Figure out how you feel
A second date is a good time to further examine your feelings about a potential partner. Do you feel as though this could turn into a serious partnership? This can be an inflection point in your relationship. Now that you have reached the second date, things could progress quickly. You need to be honest with your expectations so that you do not accidentally hurt the person that you’re dating. If you’re dating someone who is looking for a serious partner, and you can’t be that for them, it might be best to tell them you’d rather keep your relationship friendly.
If you’re on the same wavelength, though, you might even find that the second date is a time to get more serious. If the compatibility seems to be there, and you like the way that things are going, then maybe you can talk about the future and whether a partnership might develop. Two dates might be too early to determine this for some, but others may know that they’ve found what they’re looking for.
Navigating a new relationship with online therapy
If your relationship winds up advancing further, couples therapy can help you and your partner set expectations for the future, learn more about each other, and improve your relationship. Research shows that online therapy can help couples function more effectively and build a stronger connection. For example, in a study that included 600 total participants, researchers found that online therapy improved relationship satisfaction, confidence, and quality. The study also mentioned the ability of online therapy to help bridge the treatment gap that often exists in couples counseling.
If you’re navigating a new relationship, online couples therapy can be an accessible way for you to set expectations and learn more about each other. With an online therapy platform like Regain, you and your partner can chat with a therapist remotely, which can be helpful if you and your partner are not yet comfortable meeting in person for counseling. Online therapy is also an affordable option—Regain memberships start at $65 per week (billed every 4 weeks), and you can cancel anytime—which means you can save more money for future dates. A couples therapist can give you and your partner the tools to anticipate future issues and nurture a healthy, happy relationship. Read below for reviews of Regain therapists from those who have sought couples therapy in the past.
Counselor reviews
“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”
“My girlfriend and I have been working with Alison for about four months now and with her help and guidance we have strengthened our relationship ten fold. Her communication style is amazing and she really strives to make the best of our time with one another. If you’re looking for a counselor you can put your faith in with the whole experience, she’s the one to go to.”
Takeaway
A second date can be a watershed moment, after which a potential relationship might blossom or both people may realize they’re not well suited for each other. By organizing a fun and engaging activity, staying curious, and knowing what to expect, you can have an enjoyable date and continue developing a bond. If you and your partner would like support as you embark on a new relationship, consider getting matched with a licensed therapist online. With the help of a professional, you and your partner can ensure there are many more successful dates to come.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What should happen on a second date?
Everyone’s idea about what should happen on a second date is different. Some people are already engaging in sex by the second date, and some couples are not even considering what their sex life will be like as they are still trying to decide if there is chemistry or not. Dating and relationships do not have any rules, per se, so what you interpret to be a good date where you just chat and get to know one another, your friend may think it was a bad date because you did not engage in a two-hour-long make-out session or end up in bed. Whatever you decide to do on your second date should be something that you feel comfortable with and will not regret in the morning. If you are looking for some good second date ideas, consider going to dinner or an event where you can talk openly. The idea is to spend time getting to know each other. If you cannot do any talking in the movie theater, it is hard to gauge if you have a connection with your date or how your second date went. If all else fails, dinner and a movie can give you a little of both worlds; you can talk during dinner and then just see if you enjoy the other person’s company when at the movies. Perhaps you will end up in a long term relationship due to a mutual interest. However, even if you have a great time, men and women may have different goals when they go on a date. Some want to find someone who is their soul mate and others are just looking for a casual night out of the house. Keeping an open mind will help you along the way through your dating life.
Is it OK to kiss on the second date?
It is ok to kiss on the second date if that is what you both want. There are no rules stating that kissing is not allowed. If you meet your date on one of the dating sites, you may be a little hesitant to get involved too quickly with a stranger. This is perfectly alright and acceptable. While some people use dating sites to find their next hook up, many people are truly looking to find someone that they can date and get to know better. If it ends in a relationship, that is a good thing. Dating advice experts would say that a kiss goodnight on the second date is a good sign; that means that the other person felt chemistry with you. Dating advice experts would also say that a lot can be told from that first kiss. If you both felt butterflies, you might be starting to have feelings for each other. However, if you felt slightly nauseated after the kiss, you might not want to schedule a third date. Your previous dating experiences may not have been the very palatable ones and judging your date based on events or happenings from the past may not be a very good idea. Whether or not you have had a great date in recent times or not, make sure to treat every date as a separate entity. Every date should be treated as a stand-alone entity and with an open mind as you would not like your date partner to also treat you or the date with the same yard stick as his/her previous dates.
What does a second date mean to a girl?
A second date is a sign that the first date went well. However, date number two can mean different things to different girls. Some girls and single women are happy that they found someone who they felt a connection with enough to make a second date; the alternative would be the guy permanently lost her number after the first date. If you ask your best girlfriends for dating advice, all of their answers would be a bit different for what a second date means as they are basing their answers on their own dating experiences. Remember, if you feel like something is not quite right, it may be best to take a second or third date slow as there might be an indication of red flags. If, however, you felt a superb connection, it is ok to just see how things play out and go with the flow. Just play your part and allow things to flow naturally as this will help you to understand how best to proceed. Dating and relationship to a girl most of the time means she is ready to give it her all and live her life in the cozy embrace of her new man. However, if you jump the gun, you may not be able to know for sure if this is the real deal or not. Finding love can be a daunting experience which requires patience because you may not get all the answers even during a second date. A second date is crucial to determining what happens next and the steps that you both take from here. As the guy, you need to understand what a great second date means to your lady and the only way to ascertain this is if you pay close attention to her during conversation and also observe her body language. Her clothing choices are also something you may want to pay attention to when you have had a couple of dates. Is she wearing the latest fashion trends or does she look like she is ready to go to her grandmother’s house. If your date is dressing up and trying to look nice for you, that is a good sign. If she does not care if her clothes are even clean, she may not be quite that interested in you.
What does a second date mean to a guy?
Again, every guy is different, and what a second date means to one guy may mean something completely different for another. In the world of online dating, you tend to get to know someone a little bit before you set up your first date. If you get a vibe from a girl that she is looking for a long term dating relationship, then do not expect her to jump in the sack with you on date number two. Sure, you might have a mutual interest in one another, but never assume. While it can certainly happen, if you respect her and are also looking for a relationship, then there is no rush to have sex. “Dating dating” – to get to know someone better and see if you can build something that lasts- and dating for sex are two different things. It turns out that when it comes to dating, some guys are more likely to allow the lady take the lead and disprove the conundrum that guys are always looking to make a fast one on the lady and then abscond or move on quickly to the girl on his list. A second date for guys will mean different things to different guys. As a lady, you should, from conversations, try to see beyond the words to ascertain what he is thinking and try to decode what his intentions may be. It can take a couple of dates to really understand his body language and what the tone of his voice means. If you meet a guy who is serious for a relationship, most of his questions and answers during the conversation would be directed at having a future with you.
How many dates before sleep together?
Online dating and finding someone on a dating site is different than going out with someone who you have known for a while. Some couples who meet on dating sites or a dating app may feel that they got the “getting to know you” part out of the way while they were conversing online, and therefore, sleeping together on the first or second official date are part of the dating experiences. Others feel that they still do not really know who they are meeting in person outside of the best dating sites and their online dating experience. Therefore, it may be good dating advice to give yourself a number of dates that you will go on before you make the decision to have sex. A guy who is interested in building something that lasts will first be more concerned with building friendship and taking time to get to know you first, and will not be pushy about getting into bed with you. Some people may even take time to talk about their favorite sex positions during their dates to arouse interest and get the other person in the mood. Sure, all dating experiences are different, and you might find yourself breaking your own “rule” and spending your first date at the guys place for the night. While good date tips say to wait until at least the third or fifth date before having sex, it does not mean that the dating advice works for every person or couple. Consider that every date is crucial and shapes the path the relationship will thread. There is no fast and hard rule as to how many numbers of dates you must have before sex happens, and some people even believe that sex positions you for a deeper connection with the other person. You may even end up having a great date which should naturally have been followed up with some time together cuddling up but you miss the chance to solidify the affection because you want to wait for the third or seventh date before making the move. At what point sex gets to happen does not really matter as long as you are able to establish a very strong bond through quality conversations with each other and building mutual affection towards each other. Each date you’re on should feel like you are getting to know someone better. If by the fifth date you’re on you still do not feel comfortable with the other person, then sex should be off the table. It is quite possible that the date is a sign that you should not have a sixth date.
What is the 3-date rule?
Some people live by the 3-date-rule when it comes to dating advice and date tips. The 3 date advice dating rule says that you will not sleep with your date until after you have had a third date. This unspoken rule is one guided by your own moral compass and is important to listen to when you are engaging in online dating. Sometimes you might abide by it, and sometimes your compass might be broken. In other words, do what feels good. If your dates are going well, then the three date rule is quite a realistic number. However, if you end up in bed on date two or date six, that does not mean that anything is wrong with you. It means that things were either going really well, or you were still trying to figure out if you wanted a sexual relationship with your date. The best dating advice from online dating, top stories, and the best online dating sites says do not engage in sexual behavior with someone you do not feel comfortable with; if you feel uncomfortable and are forced into a situation you are not comfortable with, you could be putting your safety at risk.
How many dates before you become exclusive?
Some people never get to the point of dating exclusively, especially if they have made a career out of online dating. They are not one to be tied down to a single person and will never exclusively date anyone. However, some people are seeking a committed, exclusive relationship. Good dating advice dictates that if you have been on several dates and are not sure where you are at from a relationship standpoint, then ask. You may be surprised that what you thought was just “dating dating” was actually a committed relationship in the eyes of the other person all along. If you cannot communicate with each other, then you are already off to a bad start.
How many dates should you wait to kiss?
Some people are good with kissing on the first date, and others want to wait until they feel a deeper connection with this stranger they met on a dating app. Good date tips say that a good time for the first kiss is the second date. Prior to that, a kiss on the cheek or hug is sufficient. You need to know if he or she is open to the idea of kissing whether or not it is the first or second date; it could even be the tenth date. It is therefore imperative to be absolutely firm with what you want and how you want it. Don’t be surprised that he may be thinking of a kiss even while settling the date check because that is how guys most are wired. It turns out that guys sometimes want to be sure they aren’t moving too fast or too slow for the lady, so they may be skeptical about when it is okay to kiss. Another guy may have had conversations around this notion, only to react the exact opposite when faced with the real thing.
Are you supposed to feel something when you kiss?
If you were to get advice dating kisses should make you feel warm inside. Some people get butterflies, while others just want to fall into the other person and not stop kissing. If, however, you feel nothing, this may indicate that you do not have chemistry with the person whom you kissed. Without chemistry in a relationship, you will just be floundering along with no goals in sight or emotions involved. The person may make a fantastic friend, but not a great boyfriend.
Why didn’t he kiss me on the second date?
Some guys will not kiss on the second date because they are nervous, or they are not sure if you want to be kissed. Others may be just getting out of a relationship and do not want to rush into another one right away. A third reason that a guy may not have kissed you on a second date was that he just was not feeling it. Maybe it was not the right time, or perhaps he is not feeling any chemistry. If he calls you for a third date, it is ok to ask him, “so, when do you think you will kiss me goodnight?” Chances are he will vent to you about why he has not kissed you sooner.
Do and don’ts second date?
The do’s and don’ts of a second date are rather simple. Do trust your gut instincts and do not put yourself in an unsafe situation. Regardless of your unique dating ideas and plans, if it does not feel okay, then do not do it. If you are able to get to date three or four following those rules, you might find that you either do not feel comfortable with the person or want to date them any longer, or that you do want to pursue a relationship with them. The things you do or say on a second day can either make or mar your chances of going on further dates-it is that serious. You may need to talk to a professional dating coach for advice on how to go about this.
Is she interested in a second date?
When a guy hangs out with a lady on a first date and he really likes her, all he’s thinking afterwards is how soon he can see her again. The only true way you will know if she is interested in a second date is to ask her. While she might send you cues during your first date that she is interested in seeing you again, she may also be a little guarded and hard to read. Depending on how you met may help you figure out part of this equation. If you met on a dating app, she might be careful with what she said or how she says things. However, if you have known the girl you took out for a long time, and she said, “maybe we can do this again sometime,” that would be a good indication that she is interested in a second date.
What to talk about on a second date?
You made it through the awkwardness that often comes with a first date, good for you! There’s many do’s and don’ts for the first date because you don’t want to make the other person uncomfortable. At that same time, you seek to enjoy the moment, have fun, and maybe see each other again. Suppose you did get the second shot, you must have done something right on the first.
First dates seem guarded because you’re getting to know each other, and you discuss general happenings or choose small talk. Unfortunately, there’s a lot less dating tips on second dates because the experience differs for individuals. A second date could be about getting a little deeper into your personalities and building some intimacy as well as momentum. You could even ask personal questions provided you’re encouraged to. Or, it could be about building something sexual. There’s a possibility of sex relationships kicking off on the first meeting, but experiences differ, as we have mentioned.
Here’s the good part; the second date means less awkwardness than the first. If you’re a guy and you’re asking, “What does a second date mean for a guy?” it could mean different things to different people. Primarily, however, it means you get the chance to let your guard down a little bit and get to know your date better. Note that getting a second date is not a chance to interrogate the other person; so a second date is expected to be fun. On the other hand, it should not be boring but as immersive as possible. If you don’t know what to talk about yet, here are some second date tips that would help you avoid the awkward silence;
The Call Back topics. That you got a second date means that the first went well.Chances are, you exchanged numbers, and you’ve been communicating. They’ve had some stuff to do at work, events coming up, or an idea they needed to push forward. You could start by discussing some of the things previously discussed. This shows you’ve been paying attention and reflects that you care indeed. Eventually, it eases you into a conversation about other aspects of their life or gives you answers to vital questions.
Hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Not all topics are fascinating, so you may avoid bringing up things about their sex relationships on a second date. Some people need time to assess the situation before they ease into stories from their love life. So, topics related to desires for the future is not only decent; it is deep and has a way of fascinating them. Again, it is another way of knowing more about the person you’re on a date with, without asking intimate questions. Such conversations tend to be revealing, thus creating a picture of the person behind the person you’re seeing physically.
Memories. We all have them, and they’re part of what shapes our perspectives about issues of life. When moving along these lines, you want to keep it positive and bubbly. Ideally, consider asking questions about what shaped their growing up. Who did they always look up to when they were younger? What’s that one memory that makes their childhood memorable? After all, it’s not a therapy session, and you’re not trying to be a relationship expert. If they want to be open about other memories contrary to what you’re asking about, it’s totally up to them. If this happens, it means they have some trust in you.
Relationships. This option is a tricky one. Talking about previous relationships is not exactly ideal for a first date. However, without intending to, such discussions might show up on a second date. If they do, avoid pressing. But, if they provide some information, then that’s better. Note that- the way and tone with which they discuss this topic is an indicator of whether they want to be open about it or not. Overall, the fact that you’re both on a date means that you’re looking towards new opportunities, and that’s healthy enough. Avoid making an avenue to dish out sex tips; this can be considered patronizing and suggestive.
Passions. There’s a difference between dreams and passions. It’s easy to keep your discussion on the present and past, and not mention the future- but there is more. You could start by asking good questions about what they are appreciative of at the moment. Some great questions include; what makes them happy to be awake every morning and show genuine interest. Anyone passionate about something flows like water; the more they talk about it, the more they become open about it.
Funniest thing ever done (Humor). When it comes to second dates, it’s important to remember to keep things light and fun. Laughter is a good way to ease up any building tension or a boring conversation. It would be best if you considered respecting boundaries by keeping it PG-rated. On the flip side, avoiding making it as personal as possible.
Vacation. Now, everyone has a travel destination in mind. The yearning for an adventure is not limited to ladies alone so, you could ask about their preferred vacation destination. If you’ve been there, then you could tell them about it and vice-versa. You might also be lucky to be interested in the same destination and talk about it in general.
Preferences. These are easily some of the good questions to ask on a second date. Preferences are more about a person’s personality, so you ask them. You could learn about their hidden talents in the process and their favorite past time too. When you care about such things, the partner on the date means
How should I prepare for a second date?
Tips for second dates are slightly different from the first because you tend to be more relaxed. However, if you’re a guy who’s into her already, you might seem pressured because of the feeling. Again, you may be concerned about having an underwhelming second date, especially if you weren’t on your A-game on the first. Never mind, a second date means they enjoyed the first and possibly want more. So, how do you get ready for the second date night? Here are some dating tips that could help;
Banish the nerves. What does a second date mean to a guy who seems attracted to a girl on the first date? Sweaty palms, heart beating faster, etc., the feeling that can make him overthink things. But, you need not be overworked, instead, concentrate on knowing them better. An ideal approach is by banishing the thoughts of overdoing things or meddling it up. Just allow yourself to go with the flow of things. Focus on doing something different than you did on the first date. You could switch up the theme and change activities. Remember to tell the other person to know if they’re okay with it.
Keep your wallet away. Not literally, after all, you may split bills with your date. However, you want to avoid flashing cash. Being on a date means being responsible, too, not passing on a wrong message.
Take your time. Really take your time doing everything; from picking your outfit to thinking about second date questions. This helps you stay prepared and focused.
Pick a great spot. Aside from picking somewhere different from where you went on the first date, choose a great location. How can you do this? You may consider introducing them to something they’ve never done like bowling, a music show, or a picnic. Or, going with their suggestion on the first date. It doesn’t have to be expensive- as long as it’s creative and exciting.
Recall your first date. This is a personal aspect of preparing for a second date because it is solely about keeping information. It will help you make connections with the second date. Again, when you want to ask questions, you can refer to specific stuff from the previous date.
Increase your interaction by communicating. You probably exchanged contacts on the first date, so you want to give the second one some closure by staying in touch.While communicating, make the topics as generic as possible, except they bring up specific topics.
Consider buying a gift. This is not compulsory, but it’s a nice way of picking up where you left off on the first date. You could go for something inexpensive and personal.
Is it appropriate to kiss on the second date?
First, what does a second date mean to a guy? It is a sort of self-presentation and a second chance of making a good impression. The same holds for the lady too. Overall a date may often go beyond dressing well, smelling nice, or being polite. Besides talking about yourself or making an acquaintance with your date, you should know some of what they like and dislike.
Based on the recent development, dating and people is more straightforward than it used to be. Therefore, getting a kiss on a second date is neither rare nor common, it’s an event of possibility, and it could depend entirely on the approach and the reception of your date. First, you may ask yourself if you should go for a kiss or not? To answer the question effectively, you may need to interpret the situation appropriately or muster the confidence to make the actual move. The following second date tips could help you decide of how:
Start small. A good way to measure why a second kiss might happen is that there is some connection. If not, a simple hug might suffice. That is to say, a simple hug could graduate into other connections, so you may consider starting small. If you’re on an open date, the natural progression leans towards a kiss so, you should pay attention to the feelings passing between both individuals.
Time. There are no dating tips or sex tips that can adequately prepare you for timing since the event could take any turn. However, they could guide you. The appropriate time to kiss on a second date will depend on chemistry or choice. There is a perception that a kiss is expected to ‘happen’ towards the end of the date. But that’s all it is, a perception. Some people will decide to wait until the end of the date to make a move; others could go for it while in the middle of the date. Without a doubt, starting a second date with a kiss cannot be ruled out either. It could very much happen between people interested in sex relationships. However, except you’re completely sure, it’s safe to take things slow and not force it.
Place. While some favor less crowded areas for a kiss, others may not mind. Indeed, you both may still be very shy, but a kiss could happen anywhere. Although it’s the first kiss, a more intimate location could set the mood, thus helping you reach full expression. However, if you want more (such as people looking towards a sex relationship), a complete disregard for the atmosphere could very much happen –that is, if your date does not mind.
Sincerity. When it comes to expression, the extent can be felt by people since human beings are wired like so. You want to make the kiss sincere or expressive.
Confidence. The fact that you got this date means that your confidence is admirable. You want to put that also in this part of the date. Your performance could either turn your date off or prove repulsive. It may be the first kiss if you never got to do it on the first date. Remember also that one kiss does not decide everything, so stay relaxed.
Lastly, don’t force it. You can always turn down the offer or say why you don’t want it yet. Otherwise, don’t be offended if you’re turned down too. People tend to have personal expectations in such situations.
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