What Should You Do About Your Boyfriend Problems?

So, you are experiencing some problems with your boyfriend. Maybe you are getting into petty arguments or having trouble trusting them. Or it could be some form of communication breakdown and your interactions are off. Relationship problems can be caused by any number of things, but regardless, you want to make sure that you are figuring out the problem and working on a solution right away. 

If you are reading this article, you want to work things out with your boyfriend and realize if you do not take care of these problems now, it can lead to a break-up. Relationship problems are difficult, but with a mutual understanding and dedication to healthy communication and facing your issues, you can reach a resolution and develop a closer bond. Read on to learn how. 

Learning to communicate

The first step in improving your relationship is to work on healthy communication skills. While some of your issues may stem from your boyfriend’s problems, the lack of communication between the two of you may be making the problems worse. If you don't trust him or have trouble with just about anything else, not talking about these concerns will keep you from resolving them. Poor communication can also lead to other relationship problems. By learning to communicate, you'll be able to improve the relationship and the issues you're having (though it might not make them go away entirely).

Communication is not the same as just talking, however. Simply telling your partner what is wrong in a list form will not improve the situation. Communicating is about more than just speaking up yourself, but learning how to speak in a way that your partner can hear and understand you. Communication also involves learning how to listen in a way that will help your partner feel both heard and understood. By communicating effectively, you'll feel more connected and more important in the relationship, crucial to its success.

Another essential thing to note when thinking about effective communication is that your boyfriend may not communicate the same way as you do. It is critical to your success that you try to understand this. You may consider an apology to be receiving flowers or other gifts while he considers it to be a hug or a nice gesture. There is no need to worry about saying things "the right way" or hurting each other's feelings. It is imperative to your relationship that you invoke an even playing field.

Whenever the two of you are talking, remind each other that you express your feelings without the worry of being judged or looked down upon. That will be key in communicating. If you are holding anything back from each other, may cause worse issues than the original problem, which can also perpetuate your disdain for each other and ultimately end the relationship altogether.

Using communication as a tool to fix your relationship

In learning how to communicate effectively and healthily, you may notice an improvement in your relationship. However, despite working on how to listen and understand each other, you find you are still running into issues. The next step is to apply changes based on the problems your new communication skills have revealed.

For example, your partner tells you he feels unimportant because you spend too much time on your phone or at work. After acknowledging his feelings, suggest doing more activities as a couple, such as going for a nightly walk or watching television together. You could also plan lunch together on days to get that extra time into bond and work on your relationship.

The more you two are willing to apply changes, no matter how big or small, the more successful you will be in staying happily together long term.

Another issue many couples come across is trust. Your partner or yourself may have committed an unfaithful act in the past, or you may not have been completely honest with each other regarding an incident that should have been communicated more effectively. In situations like these, it can be very helpful to be sure you are letting your partner in on any activities you may be doing and reassuring them that you are regretful about the actions you took which hurt them.

Eventually, with hard work and determination, you will be able to build that trust back up, and your relationship will come out stronger than ever.

Making extra time to reconnect

A common complaint of couples that begin having relationship problems includes making time for one another after the relationship is no longer new. Once the novelty has worn off, it can become challenging to find things to do together while still going about our busy day-to-day lives. A good rule of thumb to apply when encountering this type of issue is to set time aside at least once a week to go on a date. This can be as simple as cooking a normal dinner together and eating while watching a show you both enjoy, or if you prefer, it can be an outing to a local restaurant or movie theater.

Many couples agree that more frequent time spent together can remind you of why you chose to be with each other to begin with and can rekindle the flame. You may also find you are more tolerant of your boyfriend’s mistakes and idiosyncrasies. It is normal to drift apart from each other with the daily hustle-bustle of paying bills, working, or taking care of a family if you have one. While you may be tempted to blame your boyfriend, remember you both are responsible for making the relationship work.

If you are harboring resentment in your heart regarding this, try wiping your partner's slate clean and give them a chance to better the relationship with you. It's apparent that you don't want to end the relationship, so why not give your 100%?

Get some help with boyfriend problems

If you and your partner have been , it should help you resolve your problems, but you may still be having relationship breakdowns. Even with the most diligent work, including talking to your partner, applying changes, and taking extra care to be sure you are connecting, issues may have grown too big to handle between the two of you. At this point, consider seeking professional assistance. A relationship therapist is professionally trained to listen to you and work with the both of you to solve the problems you are having and help you develop a healthy relationship.

Many couples avoid couples counseling because they believe it is a sign of weakness or an embarrassing process to go through. They may also suggest techniques that you and your partner have not considered that would be very beneficial to your relationship.

Additionally, a therapist can help to mediate your conversations. For example: if you or your partner has a difficult time containing your anger while communicating, a therapist can help the two speak to each other healthily and respectfully rather than with negativity. Hurtful words spoken in anger can cause permanent damage to a couple. So, it is crucial to have someone to remind you to speak with purpose and without disdain.

Finding a therapist can be stressful, especially when you are trying to coordinate schedules or if you live in a rural location. 

If you are not sure about finding an online therapist for yourself and your partner, take a look at Regain. Regain is an online platform that connects you with a qualified therapist who understands your issues and wants to help. With Regain, it will be easier for you to decide who you want to help you because you get to meet with your therapist online, from the comfort of your own home.

Takeaway

Working out relationship problems with your boyfriend can seem overwhelming, especially without the appropriate tools to help work through known and unknown problems. When you both work to improve your communication, build trust, and practice forgiveness, you may find that the relationship is not overwhelming, but healthy and brings you happiness. Even if you are unable to work these issues out on your own, know you have the helpful option of seeking online couples counseling.