What To Do After The First Date – Planning Your Next Steps
So you've had your first date, and you're feeling pretty excited about what might happen next. This new person in your life has you feeling positive, and you want to figure out how to further this relationship. Knowing what to do or when to text after a first date is not always simple, though. It’s normal to feel a bit anxious when planning out your next steps, but having an idea of what to do, what to say, and where to go on a date can be helpful.
What to do after the first date
Keep getting to know each other
Stay connected
After the first date, you're going to want to keep getting to know this new individual. There is no specific set of after first date rules. You don't have to set up a formal date to keep connecting. Modern technology has made it incredibly easy to stay in touch with people. You can start talking on the phone and sending texts to each other when you have free time. This is an easy way to learn more about your new love interest. In fact, it can help a lot when you're trying to set up a new date.
Remember that texting matters
When you learn what to text after the first date, you'll be able to talk about your interests while also learning bits and pieces about each other's lives. Putting some effort into talking to your potential new partner is good for your relationship. Some people have more time than others, though. If you're a busy professional, then you might not have long blocks of time to spend texting and talking. Just know that you should try to communicate to keep the first date sparks going. If you don't fan a flame, then it may eventually die out. That is why, no matter how busy you are, texting after your first date is helpful if you want that special connection to progress.
Build comfort
Your relationship is in its infancy. It needs to be nourished, and communication is the best food. It is usually fun to get to know each other. Don't be afraid to get a bit flirty and enjoy learning more about your date. You'll feel significantly more connected to this person over time, and when you do meet up face to face again, it will be more comfortable.
Plan casual connections
Spending time together doesn't necessarily mean that you must go on a formal date either. You could casually hang out too. This could be as simple as popping by to walk your date home from work. Or it could be a small, planned lunch that you don't consider to be a formal date. Just try to keep connecting, and you might find that your relationship will grow exponentially.
Decide whether to go on a second date
After you have gotten to know your date a bit more, it will be time to figure out whether you're going to go on a second date. If you have been talking since the first date and have been working on your bond, then you're probably ready to move forward. If things have stalled out some, then you might not be that interested in this person. You should only go on a second date if you feel drawn to the person or if you want to see if there could be a connection there. If you aren't feeling it, it's likely best to move on before anyone gets hurt.
Assuming you do like this person and want to start dating them seriously, it's going to be time to start working on your second date ideas. Try to remember the things that you learned about your date while talking to them. Pick a fun date that they will enjoy, and that will also allow you to keep getting to know each other. There are tons of options to pick from, and it might be good to pick something outside the box. Going on a hike or having a picnic in the park might be more interesting than just dinner and a movie.
The most important thing is to pick a date that you feel comfortable with. Ensure that your second date idea matches your interests and that your date will have a good time. Once you have checked all those boxes, it'll be easy to plan things out. Ask your love interest on a second date, and they will most likely say yes.
Be honest about your feelings and expectations
Being honest about your feelings is imperative. This is among the signs a first date went well. When you can't be honest with the person you're dating, it will be difficult for them to get to know the real you. Putting up a wall might feel natural when you're nervous about things. You might not be a very open person, which could cause you to hold back a bit. If you can, then it'd be good to try to let your guard down and connect with your date.
People who can communicate their feelings will have an easier time building a strong bond with a new romantic partner – but don’t overdo it. If you're enjoying your time together, then there should be no shame in you letting your date now. Being real with your date is both sensible and helpful. You don't need to confess your burning love before or during the second date, but acknowledging that you're feeling a spark is good. Let your date know how you feel, and then you can see if they feel the same way.
It's also best to be upfront about your expectations. Some people go into a relationship expecting one thing and then find out that their date wants to take things in a completely different direction. Your date could have plans to move to a different state or country after finishing college. That might mean that your relationship is expected to be short-term. If you are looking for a long-term love connection, then this person might not be right for you.
Talking about your expectations in a relationship isn't always easy. It can feel especially daunting when you're still getting to know someone. The early stages of a relationship are important, and you shouldn't take things too seriously. Even so, it's good to acknowledge your basic expectations so that you don't accidentally hurt one another.
Don’t forget to work on your personal goals
A relationship is going to be stronger when someone has a healthy life of their own beforehand. Also, focusing on other things can help you to avoid getting too jittery about that second date. Dating jitters are strong emotional and mental distractions. Nerves are normal, but it's smart to take a step back sometimes so that you don't get too stressed. Hang out with your friends and don't forget to eat healthy and go to the gym. You can keep getting to know your love interest during your free time, too. Finding the right balance is appropriate.
Consider broaching the topic of intimacy
Another big step for your budding relationship is going to be having sex. Depending on your personal beliefs and sexual urges, you might be ready to have sex after a successful first date. Not everyone thinks this way, though. Many people are against the idea of having sex too early in a relationship (especially for the first relationship). For this reason, you should be cautious when taking steps toward having a sexual relationship with the person that you're seeing.
Ask your date about how comfortable they are before even thinking about taking things to a sexual level. If your date mentions wanting to take things slow, then that's a sign that they would prefer to wait to have sex. You might even find a date who has religious beliefs that prevent them from having sex until marriage. There aren't specific dating rules that you need to follow, but it is good to be mindful of what you want out of this relationship.
Navigating the dating world with online therapy
Whether you're a student who needs college dating advice or an adult who is facing some relationship challenges, online couples counseling can help you out as well. If you enter a committed relationship with the person you have been dating, you might encounter some relationship issues. Many couples experience problems they have difficulty solving on their own. Professional counselors can work with you to help you get through even the most tumultuous times. Whether you're having trouble communicating with each other or if you don't know how to strengthen your bond, it's going to be helpful to have online counselors as your allies.
The efficacy of online therapy
Should your relationship significantly progress to thoughts of marriage or living together, you may want to seek out premarital counseling. Among other things, pre-marital counseling can help couples learn to improve communication and conflict resolution skills. A classic study found that couples who completed premarital counseling of some form had a 30% higher rating in marital satisfaction. A systematic review study of premarital counseling studies found that such programs improved interpersonal skills and overall relationship quality.
Learning what to do after the first date in online therapy
You can reach out to an online couples counselor if you're ready to get help. Regain’s online relationship counselors make it simple for you to get the counseling that you need. You can talk to your therapist at a time that’s convenient for you and from the comfort of your home. They'll work with you as a couple, and individual counseling is also available. Take the time to discuss your issues with these counselors if you're going through a difficult time in life. You can come through feeling better about things, and your relationship can grow stronger than ever before.
Takeaway
Dating should be a fun, exciting experience – especially in the early stages. While it’s common to be nervous after a first date goes well, a little thought and planning can help smooth out those jitters. If you need some extra guidance, the relationship counselors at Regain are ready to help.
Frequently asked questions (FAQ)
How soon after a first date should you follow up?
After a good first date, you could follow up with a text thanking them for the good date within a few hours after you’ve been together. By texting them on the same day as the date, you show your date that you respect them for taking the time to spend with you.
Some people advise that you want to wait from three to five days to text about another date. If your date mentions that something personal is coming up during the good first date, respect their time by asking for another date after getting their priorities in order. Keeping their personal matters in mind, you can text your date a thank you message after the good first date while also incorporating what they said to you about their upcoming schedule if you so desire to indicate that you want to get together again. Still, there is no need to rush things.
Who should text first after the first date?
It does not matter who is the first person to text the other after a date. If you had a really good first date, then express your gratitude to your date by texting them. They could also text you first because they also felt that they had a good first date with you.
Some people may claim that there are rules about texting first or time between texts as if anyone truly knows the secret to make a good connection with someone. You are more likely to form a real, emotional bond if you are honest with someone and don’t worry too much about playing mind games.
While you can find archaic reasonings that the person who initiated the date should text, in reality, you need to ask yourself if you want to be the first person to text your date. There is a chance that your date is asking the same question to themselves. Instead of worrying, text your date first if you feel like it’s the next natural course of action. Most people would be happy to hear that you had a good first date.e
What is the best advice for what to do after the first date?
After a good first date, a guy or girl should respect their date’s time by letting them know that they had a good time. People after a first date should also recognize that dating another person is fun. When you are having fun, you do not want to ruin your enjoyment by rushing the event.
Thus, you can text your date a thank you message for a good first date and judge yourself when you want to go on a second date. By taking your time and coming up with a good date idea for future get-togethers, you may really enjoy yourself with your date for the foreseeable future. Then a guy, or anyone, could ask for a second date after checking in from the first date tips.
What should I do after the first date?
After you text your date a thank you message, you should ask yourself if you enjoyed your night. A good first date may end with feeling positive and confident, which is a great feeling to carry forward in your future dates. If you had a good time, make sure the other person knows it, in case they need reassurance before you both can go on a second date.
If you want to improve your dating experiences, you can consult friends, family, or professionals about dating advice. You could also look up blog dating websites and read personal editorials regarding a good date and if they have a dating advertisement.
What is the 3-date rule?
The concept of the 3 date rule, which seems a bit old-fashioned, claims that both parties should not consider sex until the third date. Some people claimed that anyone respectable would wait until the third date to kiss, have sex, or do some specific physically intimate thing, while others expected this only of women, based on outdated notions of decorum.
However, the 3-date rule does not override your feelings. Following your instincts with consenting adults will be more likely to benefit your personal situation. Some people may prefer to set guidelines for themselves, with a three-date rule or any other personal preference, while others may consider them unnecessary. There are many strong opinions online that critique the three-date rule for various reasons, and expecting someone to follow it or judging people who do not is unlikely to benefit your relationship.
Ultimately, it is up to you to make any sexual moves during your dating experience. If you think you had a good first date, you can choose to have sex. Always make sure that your date consents to your choice. If your date wants to take things slowly, then listen to them and your own gut.
How do you know if a guy likes you after the first date?
You may know if a guy or girl likes you after a good first date if they paid attention to you and showed interest in your talking points. Flowing conversation and laughter can indicate that someone likes you, but nervousness and awkwardness can also sign that someone likes you. Try to keep an open mind, and remember that communicating with the other person is the best way to stay on the same page.
How do you know if the first date went well?
Some people might claim that the first date went well if you get another message from the person soon after the date ends. A “thank you” or “miss you already” text could indicate a good date, or if the person seems eager to make a second date, that would be a positive sign.
Everyone could act a little differently around people they like. Some people might consider a date successful if they overcome nervousness and relax or smile, while others might only say a date went well if the conversation was effortless and they got a good night's kiss. Since good first dates can appear different to different people, the best way to judge a date is to communicate honestly with the other person.
Is it a good sign if a girl texts you after a date?
If someone texts you after a date, this likely means that they really enjoyed themselves. They are expressing to you that they had a good first date. Their initial text may also mean that they would like to go on a second good date.
This also applies to a Tinder date as well. You may feel more invigorated after receiving a text from your date. You can use your confidence to its fullest potential and think of great second-date ideas. People express themselves differently, so if you see something as a sign, try trusting your gut and seeing what happens next.
What should you not do after the first date?
After the first date, try not to flood their phone with texts, even if you’re excited—it can feel like a bit much. Give things space to breathe instead of dissecting every single detail or overthinking their responses. Just let it be for a little while, and definitely don’t bring up any “ex” comparisons—no one wants to feel like they’re in someone else’s shadow.
What are some tips on what to do after the first date has ended?
Send a simple, genuine message thanking them for the date—it shows interest without overwhelming. Take time to think about how you felt and if you'd like to see them again. If things went well, suggest another date in a relaxed way, perhaps based on something you talked about. Meanwhile, keep communication light and fun to keep the excitement going.
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