Getting Over Divorce: Eight Important Steps Toward Healing

Getting over a divorce can be different for each person. Some people may have a more challenging time coming to terms with the end of a marriage than others. Even so, there can be things you can do that might help you heal. Take a look at these eight steps that might make moving on after divorce easier.

Let yourself get emotional

You will likely get emotional at some point due to your divorce. Even if you are sure that getting divorced is the right call, it not uncommon to feel sad about losing your marriage. You probably loved your partner very much at one point, and you probably do still love them in some way. Regardless, feeling sad about your marriage being over may not necessarily be the same as regretting getting divorced.

Try to allow yourself to feel the emotions that you’re going through. Cry if you need to and let yourself get angry, too. It can be healthy to let those emotions out, and you might want to vent to someone close to you. 

Accept what has happened

After you’ve gone through an emotional phase, it might be time to accept what has happened. Some people feel like they’re in shock for a little while after they get divorced. You might not have ever thought that your marriage could end this way, but the reality of the situation may be that it has. Your marriage is now over, and you have the opportunity to move on toward a new period in your life.

If you want to get over a divorce, being able to accept it can be important. Try to remember that you got divorced for a reason. You might not have been compatible with your spouse. Some people even simply drift apart due to wanting different things out of life. There may be many instances where one partner cheats on the other and this winds up being the last straw for a marriage.

Whatever happened, do your best to face it and understand that you will be okay no matter what. The end of your marriage does not mean the end of your happiness. This new chapter of your life can be a very happy and successful one. It can take time to get to a positive place in life again, but it can be achievable. You don’t have to do it alone.

Rely on your support system

Being able to rely on your support system can also be important when you’re trying to figure out how to get through a divorce. How long it takes to get over a divorce may ultimately be up to each individual, but it can be easier on you when you have people you can count on. Talk to trusted friends and family when you feel you need support. They can give you strength when you’re going through difficult times. 

Isolating yourself when you’re dealing with divorce can have negative effects. This is likely not going to be healthy, and it can make it tougher to move on. Consider reaching out to your loved ones; they genuinely care for you and can usually help you get to a positive place.

Take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself can be another crucial step toward healing. If you aren’t looking after yourself, it can make progress difficult. The simple stuff often really does matter, and even little changes can make a significant difference. Even just eating a balanced diet and trying to get enough rest can help you get through things better.

It can be tough to focus on self-care at first if you’re feeling sad about your divorce. Even so, it can be important to try. Once you have the time and energy, it may be worthwhile to try to start exercising. This can help you feel better by releasing positive endorphins in your brain. It may be a natural way to help combat depression and possibly boost your overall self-confidence.

Learn to love being independent again

Being alone again might feel kind of weird at first. If you’re used to always having someone around when you’re at home, it could be strange to suddenly have all of this free time. Regardless, you may need to understand that being able to have this freedom isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, there can be many benefits to being newly independent that you may enjoy.

People who were stuck in less-than-great marriages might wind up feeling like shackles have been removed from their bodies. You might not have been able to do the things that you like due to trying to make your marriage work. Now, you might be able to focus on things that you care about, and you can learn to love this independence. You can cook meals that you love without having to worry about whether the meals are appealing to your ex-spouse. Watching your favorite shows or movies also might be easier with no one else around.

Being independent doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re alone, either. You may not have a spouse any longer, but you can spend time with other people you love. It can be a good chance to reconnect with friends and family you might not have seen as often while you were married. Try to enjoy your independence and learn to love yourself. It’ll likely help you when moving on from divorce.

Enjoy hobbies and things you’re passionate about

Hobbies can actually be helpful when you’re just trying to get over a divorce. You might have a lot more free time than you’re used to now that you aren’t married. This can actually be a good chance to get back into things that you were passionate about in the past. You might have stopped playing guitar due to getting married, but there is no reason that you can’t pick it back up.

Spending time doing fun and interesting things is almost always great for your body and mind. If you don’t have a hobby, finding one could be very beneficial. You might be able to find a hobby that will make your life a lot more entertaining, and it can give you something to look forward to. Your life doesn’t have to revolve around romance and other things of that nature. It can be good to have other things to focus your attention on, and there are so many interesting hobbies that you could become involved in.

Consider finding a new partner (when you’re ready)

Eventually, you might feel like you are ready to start dating again. How long this will take is likely going to depend on the person. Some people won’t want to date again for months after getting a divorce while others might be comfortable with moving on sooner. You might even want to avoid dating for a year or longer if you just want to spend time enjoying being independent.

Dating again isn’t always a necessary part of the healing process. You can be happy on your own if that is what you want to do. Even so, many people may be interested in finding new love. Having one failed marriage doesn’t mean that love cannot work out the second time around. You may have the potential to find someone really amazing who can help you to move forward in life with renewed confidence.

Just be sure that you’re emotionally ready to start dating again. Dating someone new when you aren’t yet over your ex-spouse can present challenges. You might run the risk of hurting the person that you’re dating. If you’re feeling good about yourself and feel like you’re ready, then dating again might be great. Just know that this is often one of the final steps of knowing that you’re truly getting over divorce.

Reach out to an online therapist if you need to