Learn About How To File For Divorce, Child Custody, And Spousal Support
Divorce is never easy. You promised your significant other that you'd be married until death, but for whatever reason, you can't stay married to them anymore. Maybe you two have differences that you can't get over. Perhaps your partner isn't like how they used to be. There are good reasons to get divorced, and there is no shame if the relationship isn't working out. It's better to live a life free than to be married to someone you don't want to be with.
However, divorce is messy. If your parents ever had a divorce, you probably can relate. It can be costly, take a long time to take effect, and if you have minor children, it's even worse. With that said, here is a guide to making the divorce process as smooth as possible.
Know your laws
Filing for divorce can depend on the state and county you live in. You may have to live in the same place for about six months if you want to file for divorce. You can usually file for separation in the meantime, though. If you are separated, your spouse may not have to live in the same place as you, but it all depends on the family law in your area.
Child support, child custody, and spousal support for children
Perhaps the messiest part of a divorce is figuring out what you'll divide. If you live in a house, you can't just saw the home in two and take one half with you. And when it comes to children, it's hard to figure out who should get custody and when. Plan for your court orders which include child support, child custody, and spousal support or relief.
Come up with a plan, though. It doesn't have to be firm; it can just be a rough sketch. Perhaps you can agree with your partner to reach a compromise. The best divorce is amicable and fair to both parties, but we understand that this is not always the case.
Find a divorce lawyer
When you get a divorce, you'll need to find yourself an attorney. Look up the best attorney in your local area, preferably one who will give you a free consultation, and take them up on that offer. Bring in all the documentation you can and see what they can do for you. You don't have to use them right away, but having one is a good step.
How to file for divorce without a lawyer
What if you don't have a lawyer? You can file for a divorce without a lawyer in most states, but it's more difficult. You'll need a good understanding of the state's laws, divorce forms, and the typical steps in a divorce case. It may be harder to represent yourself in divorce court. This is only recommended when you don't have any money to spare, which is understandable, especially if you weren't the breadwinner in the relationship.
Types of divorces
If you've never looked into a divorce, you may imagine there's just one way to separate from your partner. However, there are four main types of divorces, which we'll cover.
Absolute: When you have an absolute divorce, you're severing every legal tie to your spouse that's possible. This is the total end of your marriage, and it probably applies to most divorce situations.
Limited: Want a divorce but still haven't figured out how you're going to split your possessions and finances? Well, you're in luck. The limited divorce ends the marriage but doesn't split the possessions just yet. It's quite similar to being separated. You may have to live apart from each other, and most limited divorces don't allow you to be in relationships with another party until you've squared everything away.
Uncontested: This is perhaps the quickest and cleanest way to have a divorce. With an uncontested divorce, you and your former spouse agree with how you want to split everything and sign the divorce papers. This means there are no messy court battles to fight your disagreements. However, you should do a legal review of what you may lose. Some couples lose their income sources without realizing it. Don't settle for less just because you don't want your divorce to be messy.
No-Fault: This is similar to uncontested, where there are no messy battles to take care of, but in this case, there is no blame being thrown around. Neither party is at fault, but instead, they had a divorce because of irreconcilable differences, which does happen. Sometimes, you two are both good people, but you may not be able to make a marriage last, and that's okay.
Update your will
As you're going through a divorce, remember to update it if you have a will. Your will may have mentioned leaving your belongings to your spouse, and despite the divorce, the spouse may have a right to your belongings if their name is on the will. Update it, so they don't get your precious items. Have your will be directed at someone you still love, not someone you used to love.
Divorcing with no money
Perhaps the worst situation with getting a divorce is when one person is the breadwinner, and the other lacks money. Unless the one with little money has a supportive friend or family circle, it's going to be hard for them to be out on their own. This is a reason why some spouses stay in an abusive marriage. However, it's possible to have a divorce without spending a whole lot. There are free divorce papers available online and in person. There are resources available that can waive the divorce fees, and you can look into volunteer lawyers. This will obviously depend on your state, but it's worth looking into.
Divorce no-nos when learning how to file for divorce
You shouldn't take certain actions when filing for a divorce, no matter what the circumstances are.
- Don't get pregnant during a divorce. First, it's not wise to let a child into your life while you're going through a terrible financial and personal situation. Second, depending on the state, you may have to stay with your partner for longer. Some places require the couple to stay married for a while after the baby is born, even if the child's father is not the husband.
- Never take your divorce out of your children. Your children are confused and scared of what their future will be like now that their parents aren't together. They probably imagined the two of you being close forever, and now their world has been shattered. When getting a divorce, calmly explain how the two of you just aren't working out. Explain how the parents both still love the kids and how it's not their fault. Please don't take your frustrations out on your children, and do not badmouth your soon-to-be former spouse in front of them. Understandably, your emotions may be high, but try to take a deep breath and communicate only when you have a cool head.
- Don't try to rush the divorce and get a bad deal. No one likes a divorce that drags on, but by sacrificing your source of income, your recovery is going to be bad. Make sure you have a good deal before ending it.
It's hard to give a definitive guide to filing for a divorce when different places have their laws and that so many divorces are different. Even if you don't want to afford a lawyer, getting a consultation is a good idea. Also, you can talk to some people in your area who have been through what you did to learn more.
Just remember to be smart about your divorce. Try to end it smoothly if you can. Do not try to be petty and drag it on. It isn't good for you and your children if you have them.
Seek counseling
If you're reading this article and you haven't filed yet, there may be a chance that your marriage is savable. A couple's counseling has saved millions of marriages, and yours might be worth saving. There are reasons for divorce that can be worked out. For instance, the lack of communication is one reason why marriages fail. If the two of you can learn how to communicate better, you may work something out. Finances are another reason people get divorced, but by learning how to manage your finances together, there may be hope yet.
Takeaway
Of course, some reasons are inexcusable and not worth saving. If one party is intentionally abusive, is not faithful, and does not love you anymore, then the divorce clearly isn't worth saving.
However, if you feel like there is still hope, give it a chance. There is no shame in going to counseling. By going to counseling, you can save that marriage.
Otherwise, learn the laws and file for a divorce if you feel like that's the only way. It's better to start fresh than to stay in a broken relationship.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Is it better to file for divorce or be served?
Divorce or legal separation from your partner can be a very emotionally distraught and draining experience for both partners involved when you don’t know the basics of filing for divorce and the divorce or separation basics. You have to go into separation to prepare for filing a lot of paperwork, and divorce or separation completion can take a while. Whether you are the one who decides to file for divorce or is served with forms filing for divorce, both people experience grief, and case filing your case can only add more stress. When you have children, divorce can be extra devastating, which you might not know if you don’t know the divorce or separation basics.
That being said, many people who have gone through a divorce or legal separation believe that it is better to file your divorce and serve your partner rather than be on the receiving end. It’s important to understand the basics of filing for divorce. When you’re going through a separation, prepare for filing a lot of papers, learning the divorce or separation basics, and learning the basics of filing for divorce. Contrary to popular belief, there are often advantages when you file your divorce or separation completing first, including:
- When you file your divorce first, you can say in the divorce proceedings, such as the court date and other divorce or separation basics.
- You can fully prepare by completing divorce or separation papers first and gather all of your important documents, a good lawyer. Financial documents to avoid going into debt in a divorce.
. When going through a separation, prepare for filing first, and you will also be able to determine how you want to break it to your partner.
- When filing your case first, you may present your case before your partner, which may give you an advantage later on in the proceedings, which is why you should try to have your attorney help with case filing your case first.
- If you are involved in a toxic marriage, divorce, or separation, completing first can get you out of a potentially dangerous and unhealthy environment faster.
- If getting a divorce or separation, prepare for emotional turmoil, but if you file first, you have begun to process that already.
- When getting a divorce or separation, prepare to tell your partner. If you are the one case filing your case, you have time to decide how you want to tell them.
How can I get a divorce if I have no money?
Regardless of the reasons you are filing for a divorce or legal separation, prepare for debt as legal fees are very expensive. When getting a divorce or separation, prepare for legal fees. However, there are ways for you to file your divorce forms and save money.
Here are some ways to avoid debt in a divorce:
- Debt in a divorce can be highly distressing; therefore, if you and your partner are both agreeable to getting a divorce or legal separation or an uncontested divorce, you can always file your divorce online. Forms filing for divorce can take a long time when you and your partner are on separate pages and not on the best of terms which can cause debt in a divorce can accumulate.
- By filing online, completing a divorce or separation takes half the time and costs half as less.
- When getting a divorce or separation, prepare for filing a lot of potentially confusing paperwork. If you are worried about debt in a divorce, you can also seek legal aid to file your case with the courts. You need to be able to prove financial disadvantages to do so. However, this is a good option if you are looking into filing your case without spending thousands of dollars to avoid going into debt in a divorce.
- Further, if you are looking for a divorce or legal separation preparing for filing your case with a lawyer will always be expensive regardless of how long it takes from the time of filing your case to the time the judge signs off on the divorce. This might cause debt in a divorce.
- If you and your partner are on the same terms in terms of filing your case to the court, try a collaborative mediation approach to saving money. Mediations are a great, cost-effective way of completing divorce or separation if you are willing to work with your partner to split assets and be cordial with each other through the process. If mediation fails, you may have to end up completing divorce or separation matters in court. Instead of getting a divorce, get a legal separation. The case forms filing process is much quicker, and it will not cost you as much.
How do I start getting a divorce?
Deciding to file for divorce is never an enjoyable process. When considering a divorce or separation, prepare for filing and do a lot of work--it’s one of the divorce or separation basics. However, if you are certain of getting a divorce from your spouse, there are some steps that you need to follow to begin the process of case filing a case. The first steps of divorce or separation basics are:
- If you are getting a divorce or separation, prepare an attorney.
- When getting a divorce or separation, prepare your divorce petition against your partner.
- Provide as many details as possible in your divorce petition, including if you have children, divorce reasons, date of birth, and what you would like from the court in terms of child support custody and spousal support.
- When getting a divorce or separation, prepare to state the grounds of your divorce. Depending on your state, it will either be a fault or no fault.
Once your papers are ready, here is how to proceed with your divorce or separation completing steps:
- Take your case forms filing in court.
- Have someone serve your partner with your papers
- See if your divorce is contested or uncontested. This will determine your divorce or separation, completing the final steps.
- Divorce or separation completing final steps include mediation or divorce court where your case forms filing will be seen in front of a judge to determine who gets what.
Whether its divorce or separation, prepare for your next steps outside of the divorce process, such as:
- Child custody
- Where are you going to live
- Who you are going to be in this new life you have
How do I file for divorce?
Before your divorce or legal separation is finalized, that are specific steps you must take before filing your case. If you are set on getting a divorce or legal separation from your partner, it is important to make sure you have all relative information organized and ready to go so you don’t run into any issues during the process. Here are the basics of filing for divorce:
Filing your care or divorce petition
This is one of the most important forms of filing for divorce. Simply put, a divorce petition is a statement that informs the courthouse that you have a legal reason or grounds for divorce, your meet the residency requirements (differs from state to state, and any other information that is needed from your care forms filing process.
Ask the court for temporary orders regarding your children
Once you have filed your divorce legal separation petition, you can ask the court for orders such as spousal relief, child custody, and child support. If you decide to do this, the court will hold a hearing where you will plead your case and explain why you are looking for these orders while filing your case.
Serve your partner with your forms filing for divorce
Once you have served your forms filing for divorce on your partner, it is now their legal duty to file a response back. This process can go one of two ways: your partner agrees to sign the divorce papers right away and gives you are response back quickly, or your partner who is surprised by receiving forms filing for divorce will try to delay the process as long as possible complicated. The best way to make sure your partner is served with the papers is to hire a professional to serve them.
Child custody, child support, property division, spousal support
Once your spouse has responded to your forms filing for divorce, you will then go to mediation to determine how you will split your assets, including:
- Child custody and support
- Spousal support and relief
- The division of property
- The division of assets
Again, this can go one of two ways and can be difficult when you have children; divorce is extra complicated and can take longer than other divorces. However, if you and your partner agree on your divorce terms, then the divorce process will be completed here and will need to be finalized in court. If you cannot agree on the divorce or legal separation conditions in mediation, you will have a divorce trial in court.
Divorce Court
This step only occurs if you and your partner cannot agree on the terms of your divorce or legal separation. Your divorce decisions, including the separation of your assets, child support, and child custody, will be determined by a judge if you cannot agree.
Finalization
The final step in completing divorce or separation is to have the judgment of your divorce be finalized and accepted by the court of law. Case filing your case can take a little while, so be prepared. This is the last divorce or separation completing step.
An important aspect to note is that if you want to get a divorce or separation, prepare well in advance –especially if you are uncomfortable with your partner. This includes ensuring that you are in a safe space, setting yourself up with a lawyer, and ensuring the basics of filing for divorce, such as all legal documents and grounds for divorce are legal. Once you have completed your case forms filing everything will be easier if you stay organized. This is one of the divorce or separation basics.
What can you not do during a divorce?
Going through a divorce legal separation is difficult. With emotions running high, many people often make various no-goes that often end in more drama and even legal consequences. When filing your divorce case, people often forget that their divorce is not over until a judge signs it off. And depending on how amicable you are with your partner, completing the divorce or separation processes can take a long time which often causes more frustration. This, in turn, can cause people to make decisions that they may not have done otherwise. Here are some actions that you should consider not doing when you are going through a divorce or legal separation until your forms filing for divorce are signed off on:
- Date another person
- If you have children, divorce can be extra tough; therefore, you need to make sure you are making time for them and helping them through the process.
- Have sexual relations with your lawyer
- Debt in a divorce can be devastating, so do not take out debt in your soon-to-be ex-partner’s name.
- Do not get another person pregnant and do not have a baby with your partner during a divorce legal separation.
- Do not stalk or harass your partner when you are in the process of completing a divorce or separation.
- Again when you have children, divorce is very difficult for them, so do not slander your partner in front of them. It can be very difficult for them to process emotionally and mentally.
- Ideally, get a lawyer to help you with the basics of filing for your divorce.
How do I get a divorce if I have no money?
What do I do first if I want a divorce?
How do you get out of a toxic marriage with no money?
How long does it take to get a divorce if both parties agree?
What is the first step in separation?
How do you know that it's time to file for a divorce?
How does someone end a marriage smoothly?
What are the difficulties of filing for a divorce?
Is financial hardship a ground for divorce?
Does an individual require a reason for getting a divorce?
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