When Marriage Ends In Divorce: What Are The Leading Causes Of Divorce In The United States?

What is the most common cause of divorce? 

Although declining, the United States’ divorce rate is still at 40-50%, making the nation one of the world’s leading countries for the highest number of divorces. While the common reasons for divorce differ from couple to couple, research indicates that the top reasons for divorce can be categorized into three categories:

• Socio-economic background
• Gender
• Age

Additionally, one of these factors usually becomes the final straw that pushes one to file for divorce:

• domestic violence or domestic abuse
• extramarital affairs or infidelity
• lack of emotional intimacy in the relationship
• substance abuse 
• addiction leading to intolerable behaviors and physical harms
• one spouse is engaging in drug use
• money issues or financial disagreements (for example, one partner is spending money on unworthy unnecessary, or frivolous items)
• significant differences in values and interests in life
• other issues like lack of trust and health issues
• difficulty in finding a middle ground
• growing resentment due to unresolved issues
• physical violence
  

Marriage conflict is one of the leading causes of divorce in the United States

The top reasons why marriages end in divorce in the United States are often due to some type of conflict. Marital conflict, for instance, can arise from domestic violence, extramarital affairs or infidelity, spousal abuse, financial disagreements, domestic abuse, substance abuse, unrealistic expectations, difficulty in opening up, narcissistic behaviors, lack of sexual intimacy, and other issues that strain the relationship. When couples argue constantly, they lose their ability to communicate effectively, often minimizing the other person’s feelings and belittling them during their marriage. This, in turn, can lead to couples creating more and more distance between them as it ultimately drives a wedge through their relationship. Without a proper solution, this resentment can last longer and lead to frequent disagreements between partners.  When couples are unable to communicate and speak compassionately towards each other or at least put an effort to reach out in their marriage, it can create a significant risk for divorce.

What are the most common reasons couples divorce? 

Marriages end in divorce for a variety of reasons. However, extensive research published by the Journal of Divorce throughout the United States has indicated ten major reasons for divorce, which contributed largely to the high divorce rate. The ten most common reasons for divorce are as noted in the Journal of Divorce:

1. Couples engaging in conflict and arguing daily. When a couple argues, it can be common for them to diminish each other’s feelings and blame the other. It can only foster resentment for both partners.  Some of the sources of disagreements among married people usually include unrealistic expectations, stress in taking care of the children, money problems, addiction problems or substance abuse, physical abuse, and extramarital affairs. Infidelity can cause married people to lose interest in and intimacy with each other. Other times it can lead one partner to develop abusive behaviors, which can increase tension in the marriage.  While fighting in a relationship is normal, constant fighting, arguments, and belittling conversations can have serious consequences. One of these consequences could be filing for divorce. If one partner is a victim of domestic abuse or domestic violence, the situation becomes even more severe, often leaving them feeling trapped, powerless, and emotionally drained. 

Domestic violence comes in many forms such as depriving one partner of money for support, physical harm due to unresolved resentment, and emotional abuse. Filing for divorce with the help of divorce attorneys becomes not just a means of ending the relationship, but also a step toward reclaiming safety and independence.

2. Lack of commitment. Another common reason people get a divorce in the United States is that one or both partners exhibit a lack of commitment. Lack of commitment can manifest in various ways, including lack of commitment to being a supportive partner, parent, and even commitment to being a part of the family as a whole. It also includes the lack of emotional intimacy between partners, which can often lead to extramarital affairs or infidelity.

When one partner lacks a sense of commitment, it causes intimacy in marriage to die down. This lack of commitment can lead to poor communication between partners and growing resentment, which can increase the risk of misunderstandings in the relationship and ultimately lead to divorce. Over time, both spouse's feelings of love may fade, and one partner may resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, eventually creating an emotional and physical distance. For women, this breakdown in intimacy and understanding can be especially challenging, as they often bear the emotional burden of managing the relationship and ensuring the well-being of their children. The resulting stress can put many couples at a crossroads, forcing them to question if the marriage is still worth fighting. 

3. People cheat. Cheating while married can be a common issue. As a matter of fact, infidelity is one of the leading causes for couples to break up. Infidelity is not merely a challenge in marriage; it’s a deep betrayal that shatters trust and leaves everything feeling cold.  When one of the partners feels unfulfilled in their marriage, instead of deciding to file for divorce, they may choose to have an affair instead. This is why intimacy is crucial in any marriage. It strengthens your relationship, so you need to keep it burning. If one spouse loses sexual interest in the other, it affects your partner’s behaviors and eventually creates a hole in the relationship. So, focus on understanding each other’s needs. If your partner tries to seek attention from you, give them the attention they need so they don't seek it from others. 

4. Emotional distance within the relationship. When people feel a lack of emotional connection in their marriage, it can often cause them to feel isolated and unloved. While other couples may live happily without intimacy within their relationship, others see this as one of the major reasons for divorcing their partner. If one spouse is starting to lose intimacy, the other should try to explore the unexpected behaviors and resolve them before they could lead to divorce.  If you feel that you can’t solve it alone, seek professional support from a licensed counselor.

5. A lack of communication. Communication is one of the crucial factors in relationships. However, communicating in a relationship can be critical. Without proper communication skills, couples often end up feeling isolated and unheard in their relationship. This can lead to dissatisfaction and ultimately divorce. One spouse should know how to talk if the other is silent. Try to resolve conflict to avoid tension in your marriage and talk about your expectations as partners in life, including the ups and downs in your marriage so you can address them. 

6. Domestic violence. Domestic violence is a serious matter within the United States and one of the most common reasons for divorce. Domestic violence involves physical and emotional harm. Physical harm can include punching, kicking, and any type of beatings that cause harm to your body. Emotional abuse can include verbal abuse, which mainly affects your mental health. Dangerously, the partner abused by their spouse often finds it difficult to leave the marriage as they fear that their life may be in danger if they do. The series of abusive behaviors can cause resentment to build over time, ultimately adding more emotional difficulty to the abused partner.

7. Different values and morals. Differences that are never addressed can be the final straw in a strained relationship. When couples are unable to see eye to eye with one another, such as how to raise their children, it can lead to conflict and the dissolution of their marriage over time. Understanding each other’s values is important in marriage. It tears down walls, avoids any resentment from the other partner, and ultimately deepens bonds in the marriage. 

8. Substance misuse. Any type of addiction can cause problems in a marriage, as the person chooses to prioritize whatever they’re addicted to over the person they’re married to. If one spouse happens to have problems with substance abuse or drug addiction, you should seek help from professionals right away. Addiction can destroy a marriage in many ways but it’s the effects that become the final straw for divorce. So, as partners in life, take action before it’s too late.

9. Lack of intimacy. While lack of physical intimacy plays different roles and levels of importance in each relationship, many people feel unable to stay in a marriage that doesn’t have any intimate aspects to it. Others have different sex drives and cannot find a middle ground. If one partner loses intimacy, you should explore the reasons behind it. So, find ways to spice up the relationship. Try to seek out factors that will turn your partner on. Maintain proper communication. Show that you genuinely care and are willing to seek new ways to connect.

10. Not carrying your weight. Marriages are supposed to be 50/50. Individuals shouldn’t just depend on one partner to take all the responsibility of marriage. Both partners must fulfill their responsibilities to make it work. One of the reasons and often the final straw for divorce is a lack of effort from one or both partners within the relationship. This can manifest as not cleaning up around the home, taking care of the children, and even not putting in the effort to be on positive terms with your spouse. If one partner is having vices or having problems with addiction or substance abuse, your marriage could even be more difficult. Having financial disagreements could also take a toll on your marriage, which can ultimately foster resentment over the other. Without proper communication, your marriage will eventually fail.

In what year of marriage is divorce most common? 

Researchers and marriage psychologists have performed countless studies to see which year of marriage divorce is most common. While there are conflicting accounts that vary between each research average, divorce rates tend to spike within the first to second years of marriage and the fifth to eighth. These periods are considered high-risk areas; however, researchers cannot pinpoint what causes marriages to fail during these years. When you look at divorce statistics as a whole in the United States, researchers state that these risk periods can be attributed to common reasons of divorce such as lack of commitment, cheating or infidelity, lack of intimacy, inability to communicate, and differences in morals and values like other divorce periods. Moreover, when one partner starts to act cold toward the other, it is usually the start of communication issues that can turn a marriage sour.

Why is moving out a mistake during a divorce?

The reasons for divorce vary between couples and life partners. For others, infidelity is the final straw before deciding to leave. Others have bigger problems like violence or addiction. However, divorce attorneys usually don't recommend moving out of the house pending divorce proceedings unless there’s violence involved. Regardless of the reasons you are divorcing your partner, some people feel that they need to move out during their divorce. However, moving out can be one of the biggest mistakes you can make when getting a divorce. First, it can be important to note that you are not legally obligated to move out of your home until the divorce is finalized. Although relationship strain might make staying in the same household challenging, especially if the reason for the breakup is infidelity, remaining in your home can protect your rights to shared property and maintain communication with your kids. So, if your spouse tries to kick you out of your home, know that they cannot do so legally. Here are some reasons why moving out could be a mistake:

• If you don’t have a place to stay for free, moving out on your own can be expensive, and divorces are usually already costly.
• If you have kids and decide to move out, it may be less likely that a judge will grant you custody as it is typically in the child’s best interests to stay at the residence closest to their school.
• Depending on the state you live in, it could affect your grounds for divorce, ultimately affecting various things such as property division and custody.
• If you move out of the house, you may have no control over what happens to the home, complicating things during your negotiation. Your partner might decide to destroy your items, for example.
• If you move out before your financial disagreements are settled, it will only complicate things. These unresolved financial disagreements can escalate into prolonged legal battles, increasing stress and expenses.
• You may lose the opportunity to talk to your spouse personally regarding important matters like the custody of children and the division of properties.

Of course, if your safety is at risk, or other factors are present such as abuse and violence,  you may have no choice but to move out. Always do what is best for your well-being. 

What is the most challenging year of marriage?

While there are leading causes of divorce within the United States, these reasons tend to affect couples differently depending on how long they have been married. Research has indicated that the first to second years of marriage are the hardest. It’s one thing to be in a relationship with someone; it is another thing to live with them full-time, and possibly have kids, a mortgage, and other external stressors that can accumulate. The stress can take a toll on your marriage or relationship. Although some easily cope with stress through frequent communication, some don’t, ultimately leading to separation. However, when both partners actively seek opportunities to enhance their intimacy, it can lead to a deeper and more fulfilling bond. 

Which country has the lowest divorce rate in the world?

According to Data Panda, Sri Lanka has the lowest divorce rate in the world, with 0.15 divorces per 1,000 people. On the contrary, Maldives has the highest divorce rate, at 5.52 per 1000 people. 

What is a contributing factor to the high divorce rate in the United States?

According to research, one of the common contributing factors to divorce in the United States was a lack of commitment in the marriage, extramarital affairs, and conflicts. Other factors that may also lead to divorce include physical abuse, financial abuse, lack of emotional intimacy, communication problems, substance abuse, and domestic abuse. To avoid divorce, both partners must work hard to keep the marriage. As life partners, you need to prioritize mutual respect and communication.

Who initiates divorce more?

Ending a marriage is a challenging and emotional journey. While partners often take months to decide, it’s notable that when one spouse calls it quits, it is usually the woman who draws the final straw. According to an article published in BBC.com, in the US where no-fault divorce is enforced in 50 states, 70% of the divorce cases are usually filed by women while in the UK, particularly in England and Wales, 62% of divorces are filed by women.

In divorce cases, the decision is rarely made lightly and stems from many forms of challenges, including financial problems, emotional disconnection, or real-life incompatibilities. One partner may feel the strain of unresolved issues in the marriage like emotional trauma, physical abuse, lack of emotional intimacy, extramarital affairs or infidelity, spousal abuse, and communication problems, which can ultimately become a major reason for seeking change. If you or someone you know is facing this, it's important to seek professional support to navigate the complexities of separation.

What is the trend in divorce in the United States?

According to TIME magazine online, the divorce rate has been dropping since 1998 since people nowadays choose to marry later in life. An article from CNN Health also states that the pandemic is one of the many factors that affected the divorce rate as it caused the marriage rate to go down in 2019-2022. Moreover, women now are becoming wiser, as they try to prioritize self-care over getting married early. 

Why is divorce becoming so common?

Many factors make divorce more common. Often, one partner may feel neglected or disconnected due to a lack of sexual intimacy and communication, which can lead to feelings of resentment in the relationship. Additionally, issues like differing values or infidelity often become the final straw pushing one partner to decide that divorce is the best solution. 

To avoid divorce you can observe the following:

• Maintain honest and open communication with your spouse
• Maintain intimacy, sexually and emotionally
• Support each other’s needs