Taking A "Should I Get A Divorce?" Quiz: How It Can Help You Evaluate Your Marriage

Deciding to get divorced can be a huge decision, and one that will likely have an impact on many different aspects of your life—your family, your friends, your daily life, your home, and even your mental health and physical health. Many people weigh the decision for weeks, months, or even years before taking the plunge, because it is such a big change. 

With so much at stake, it might be tempting to turn to a simple divorce quiz that can offer black-and-white advice as to whether or not you should leave your marriage. But, can a simple quiz really tell you much? Can you trust the results it gives you? In this article, we’ll explore more on divorce quizzes and some suggestions for other ways to approach this big decision.

Taking a "Should I get a divorce?" quiz

If you search for divorce quizzes online, you’ll likely see a wide mix of quizzes out there, from the short and sweet to the longer and more elaborate. But even with this variety, there can be a big limitation of any online quiz: it can’t fully capture the unique situation, thoughts, feelings, fears, desires, and experiences between you and your spouse—no matter how detailed it is. Divorce is an immensely personal decision, and it often requires a lot of introspection and discussion on the part of both you and your spouse. 

Can a divorce quiz capture the nuances of your marriage?

A quiz doesn’t allow for all the nuances that can exist in a relationship. Different relationships can have very different experiences of even the “same” issues. For instance, infidelity might happen in one marriage and become something that the couple cannot get past; they may decide that the relationship cannot be repaired, and so divorce is their chosen option. Meanwhile, a different couple may also have an instance of cheating, but both spouses could decide that they want to try to repair the relationship and stay in the marriage. And, in another couple, both people could have been faithful throughout the marriage, but they may have just decided that they are no longer compatible, and so they choose to divorce. Every couple is different, and so it is very hard to make clear conclusions on the best future for their relationship based only on a few questions.  

Using a divorce quiz to help make your decision

A "should you get a divorce" quiz might be useful in providing you with a jumping-off point for your decision, but it probably isn’t wise to use it as a deciding, definitive factor in moving forward with a divorce, or staying in your marriage and working to improve your relationship.

Other ways to assess your decision

So, if a divorce quiz likely isn’t going to be the determining factor in your decision, what else can you do to help you reach a decision? Below, we’ll explore three other suggestions for how to help you make this decision:

Spend some time reflecting on your own

Divorce and the process leading up to it is likely going to be turbulent. Your emotions and your spouse's emotions may be, in turns, riotous, deadened, dull, and fiery, and these are all natural, valid things to feel. It can be harmful, though, to base your decision to divorce entirely on your emotions, as there is some amount of rational thought that often goes into the particulars of divorce. So, try to spend time some reflecting on your own feelings and rational thoughts regarding your marriage, what you want moving forward, and the pros and cons of staying vs. leaving. To do this, you might find it helpful to use a mix of journaling, meditation, rest, and introspection.

Consult with friends and family 

Gaining perspective on the situation from others can also be helpful. You might find it useful to open up to close friends and family about what you’re feeling, and see if they have any thoughts on the situation. They may be able to give you a perspective you hadn’t seen before, or they may validate your feelings, which may help you to feel more confident in your decision. And, even if they don’t offer relevant advice, spending time with other people you love and care about can be important in this stressful time. It may help you to feel calmer about the situation and help you to gain clarity around what you want. 

Seek help for marriage conflict with online therapy

The decision to get a divorce can be incredibly personal, complex, and painful, and making that decision often involves an evaluation of your life together and determining whether or not that life is one you are willing or able to pursue. This can be very difficult to tackle on your own. If you would like help in this process at any point, online therapy can help.

The efficacy of online therapy

A licensed therapist can help you unpack your thoughts and feelings surrounding the relationship to help you reach a decision, and then they can help you cope with the aftermath either way—either coping with the divorce or helping you and your partner to strengthen the relationship. In fact, research has found online therapy to be effective for people recovering from a divorce. 

The benefits of online therapy

If you decide that you want to stay in your marriage, you and your partner may decide that taking some space apart while you work on your relationship would be helpful. And with online therapy through Regain, you and your partner can join the same therapy session from separate locations. 

Meet Our Therapists

Lindsay Burke - Board-Certified Marriage and Family Therapist, Lifecoach

Lynn Salsbury - LCSW,MSW

Takeaway

Divorce can be a huge decision, and with so much at stake, it can be tempting to want to turn to a simple online quiz for answers. But, while a quiz may offer you some useful information to use in your decision-making process, reaching a clear conclusion likely requires more thought and reflection. For additional support in navigating marriage and divorce, online therapy can help.