Domestic Violence Quotes To Give You Strength From Abuse

Domestic violence is one of the hardest things a person can endure. You love your other half so much that you tend to excuse their behavior when you shouldn't. No one deserves to be abused, and no one should stay with someone who is abusive, but sometimes it's not so easy to just walk away.

You may find it helpful to read a quote about domestic violence because it is often a comfort to know you're not alone -- that someone else has gone through the same kind of horrors that you have encountered and emerged happy and free. It is possible to leave a relationship where domestic violence is present and enjoy a healthy and satisfying life on the other side. But it takes courage to leave, and a strong support network to help you when you finally get out.

For the moments in between crises, you might pull inspiration from these quotes written or spoken by others who have gathered the inner courage to leave violent and/or toxic relationships. Before we discuss some of the most impactful quotes, let’s first get clear on domestic violence statistics today.

How prevalent is domestic violence?

Domestic abuse is a serious issue that impacts people of all genders. People don't intentionally enter into abusive relationships. It's something that appears over time. Before the person knows it, they may be stuck in a toxic dynamic and feel like there's no way out. 

Despite a sense of hopelessness, which can feel all-consuming, there are ways to leave an abusive relationship. People call the National Domestic Violence Hotline every day to seek help. Domestic abuse is hurtful and can cost people their lives. Domestic violence is also an emotional experience that is hard to cope with when you're in the thick of it. 

Statistically, women endure more domestic abuse than men, but anyone can be a victim of intimate partner violence. Violence can have a significant impact on anyone’s mental health, and words can have a healing effect for many people. From a detached party’s viewpoint, one might think, “What is the point of reading domestic violence quotes? You need to leave the relationship now!” 

It is understandable that leaving an abusive relationship may seem like the obvious answer, though many people experience hindrances to leaving. It may take some time for a person to formulate a plan that ensures they (and their children) can leave in a safe manner; during these times, domestic violence quotes can help people stay motivated to persist and believe in their own self-worth.

Depending on what you're experiencing in life, there are people who can relate to your story. Reading quotes from people who have been where you are can give you clarity on your situation. It's especially important to feel connected to others when you're in an abusive situation. 

Reading quotes about domestic abuse can give you insight into how other individuals have been through similar traumatic experiences. You can also try writing quotes for yourself about domestic abuse. Unfortunately, violence and emotional abuse are common – the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence published the following alarming statistics in a recent factsheet:

• Nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.
• One out of every four women and one of nine men experience severe intimate partner physical violence and/or stalking.
• 19% of domestic violence involves a weapon.
• On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls place to domestic violence hotlines worldwide.
• Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries.

Writing or reading quotes about domestic violence might serve as stepping stones guiding a person to walk away from an abusive intimate partner relationship and should not be underestimated. Maybe the person who reads them will pass them on to people who then feel inspired to ask for help or make a concrete plan to leave. 

The risks of staying in an abusive relationship

Nobody wants to be hurt, and that's what domestic abuse does - it harms people. Domestic violence can be deadly if the person at the receiving end doesn't get help in time. That's why it's crucial to support people in seeking a way out of an abusive relationship. 

If you know someone who is being abused, you can direct them to a therapist. It can be difficult to face the fact that you've been abused. When you read quotes about domestic violence, it may highlight your trauma in a different way than you may be used to, but that can be a catalyst to seek help. 

Sometimes it's hard to get relief for domestic violence. You may want to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, but you're afraid because it would make your experience real. You might fear the repercussions if your partner were to check your phone log or internet history. 

When you call the national domestic violence hotline, there are sympathetic people on the other end, who may be survivors of domestic abuse, and they may be able to read you some quotes on the topic. 

Once you realize that your experience is real, and domestic abuse has impacted you, you can get the help you need. Once you start your healing journey, you can read a quote or several each day to keep yourself motivated. The crucial thing is to get help, and quotes can inspire you to do that. 

Quotes that clarify what domestic violence looks like

If you are going through some hard times with your significant other, but you're not quite sure if what you're going through is, in fact, domestic violence, then the following quotes may be able to help you better determine whether you need to get out.

"Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out? Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you? Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did? Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you? Has he ever grabbed, shoved, or poked you? Has he ever threatened to hurt you? If the answer to any of these queries is yes, then let’s stop wondering whether he'll be violent or not; he already has been." - Lundy Bancroft

"Now let's move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn't slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he has any self-respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids. A real man works his ass off to provide for his family, fights for them if need be, dies for them if he must. And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her as if she was queen - the queen of the home that she makes for their children." - S.M. Stirling

"Domestic violence causes far more pain than the visible marks of bruises and scars. It is devastating to be abused by someone that you love and think loves you in return." - Unknown

"All violence consists of some people forcing others, under threat of suffering or death, to do what they do not want to do." - Leo Tolstoy

"The healthy man does not torture others. Generally, it is the tortured who turn into torturers." - Carl Jung

Quotes for those who are afraid to leave abusive relationships

Sometimes, we fully recognize we are in a situation of domestic violence, but we're either afraid to leave, because we're not sure what our significant other would do to us if we did, or we blame ourselves for getting into the situation in the first place. If this sounds like you, then you may find the following quotes to be very relatable:

"I am living in hell from one day to the next. But I can’t do anything to escape it. I have no idea where I would go if I did. I feel completely powerless, and this feeling is my prison. I did this out of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key." - Haruki Murakami

"The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Until the victim has developed a detailed and realistic contingency plan and has demonstrated her ability to carry it out, she remains in danger of repeated abuse." - Judith Lewis Herman

"She could just pack up and leave, but she does not visualize what's beyond ahead." - Núria Añó

"Today I was dressed in faded old jeans and a plain grey baggy shirt. I didn’t take a shower, and I didn’t put on any makeup. I grabbed an old black oversized jacket to cover myself with despite the warm weather. I have made concrete decisions lately to look like less of what I felt a male would want to see. I want to disappear." - Sierra D. Waters

Quotes about why we excuse bad behavior

Don't get down on yourself for excusing the behavior of someone who is abusing you. You love this person, and you keep hoping every day that they will come to their senses or get help so that you can live the life together that you always knew you could. Except, you likely can't. At least, not while things are like this. 

If your significant other refuses to get help, then there is no hope for your relationship. This is why you should run, not walk, away from people who abuse you. Here, however, are some quotes, to sum up why sometimes, even though we know we should, we feel like we just can't.

"Domestic violence is frequently excused when alcohol and other substances are involved." - Asa Don Brown

"It is impossible to correct abuses unless we know that they're going on." - Unknown

"I've heard that people stand in bad situations because a relationship like that gets turned up by degrees. It is said that a frog will jump out of a pot of boiling water. Place him in a pot and turn it up a little at a time, and he will stay until he is boiled to death. Us frogs understand this." - Deb Caletti

"The next time the abuser tells you that the reason he is abusive towards you is something you have done, remind yourself that no one is ever responsible for another person's actions. The next time the abuser tells you that he wouldn't get so angry with you if you would just try harder, remind yourself of how hard you have been trying and how little effect your efforts have had on his actions. And most important, the next time you are lying in bed crying over something the abuser had said or done, remind yourself of who you were before you met him." - Source Unknown

Domestic violence survivor quotes to encourage you to break free

No one should stand for being mistreated. Whether someone hits you, verbally abuses you, or makes you feel like less than you're worth, you do not need to stand for it. It can even be something as simple as taking you for granted, assuming you'll do the chores all the time, or that you'll take care of the kids. Or being condescending, like talking down to you in front of their friends. Anyone who makes you feel like less of a human being needs to go. Period.

The following quotes are from those who survived domestic violence and lived to tell the tale in the hopes that you, too, would follow suit and break free. You'll find that this section has more quotes than the other sections – this is how important it is for you to find peace and get away from the person abusing you.

"What are you going to do? Will you live in the dark, locked in there? Afraid to look out, answer the door, leave? Yes, he is out there, and he's obviously not going to leave you alone until one of three things happens: he hurts you and gets arrested, or he commits a mistake and gets arrested, or you stop him." - Rachel Caine

"A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor allow any man to treat her in a way she could scold her son for." - Unknown

"Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is brave even if you stumble a little on your way out the door." - Unknown

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself putting it back together." - Unknown

"You survived the abuse. You're going to survive the recovery." - Unknown

"When you are with someone who is never pleased, it is time to stop trying to please him." - Unknown

How domestic violence quotes show reality

Quotes and sayings about domestic violence survivors can demonstrate the brutality of domestic abuse, which affects millions of people of different genders. If you experienced domestic violence, you might turn to quotes. These words don’t always have to be inspirational. Sayings and quotes can show the harsh reality of domestic violence. 

The affirmations you read about domestic abuse can help you even long after you’ve left an abusive relationship. Survivors of domestic violence can relate to these quotes, which can validate their experiences. What they went through was real. There are quotes about moving forward from the hurt of abuse, and it’s crucial for survivors to see that there are others who have experienced abuse. That way, these individuals feel less alone and see that these difficult circumstances are more common than they might think.

Create your own affirmations

You may read hundreds of quotes and not relate to a single one. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t find a saying that resonates with you. Many people don’t relate to inspirational quotes. What one person finds uplifting may not make you feel good. 

If you can’t find quotes that speak to you, there’s something else you can do instead – create your own affirmations. You may have heard of the phrase “mantras.” That’s a saying that you can turn to when you feel down, angry, or alone. A mantra is a simple sentence that’s easy to remember. You could tell yourself, “I’m safe,” or “this too shall pass.” 

Focus on whatever saying comes naturally to you. If you’re having trouble finding the words to assure yourself in times of struggle, you can ask a therapist to help you find some mantras. Licensed mental health professionals regularly work with trauma survivors. They are familiar with what helps survivors and it’s okay to ask your therapist for some tips on how to cope with your trauma. 

Perhaps there are common phrases that work for trauma survivors. Maybe the quotes you’ve been reading aren’t inspirational, but they’re not the only sayings out there. You can ask your therapist what sayings they like and see if you relate to those words. 

Whether or not you choose to lean on quotes to cope with your trauma is entirely up to you. It’s worth considering the wise words of others who have been through a similar experience. Another thing to try is asking other survivors what sayings they lean on when they’re feeling down. 

Online therapy can help

There are many reasons why survivors of domestic violence are hesitant to reach out for support:

• They fear the perpetrator will retaliate with more abuse
• They fear their friends, family members, or colleagues who know the perpetrator will not believe them
• They feel embarrassed or lack self-confidence
• They have been failed by support systems in the past
• They hope that the perpetrator will change their ways
• They are financially dependent on the perpetrator
• They fear leaving is too risky or dangerous for them (and their children, if applicable)

All of these reasons are legitimate, and it is normal to feel afraid, uncertain, and on edge when considering seeking support for domestic violence. Online therapy via platforms like Regain can be advantageous for these people in several ways. 

First, users can schedule therapy appointments at times that are conducive to their schedule; meaning, they can meet virtually with their counselor when their partner is not around. 

Second, Regain enables you to meet with your therapist from any location with a reliable internet connection. This means that you won’t necessarily set off alarms in your partner’s head by “having to run an errand” to attend a therapy appointment, especially if your partner keeps meticulous tabs on your activity. 

Third, online therapy is generally more affordable than in-person therapy, and you don’t have to sit on a waitlist until your preferred counselor is available; this can make a tremendous difference for people who experience financial difficulty or those who are at risk of significant harm if they continue to stay in an abusive relationship without support.

Various studies have confirmed online therapy’s effectiveness in coaching survivors before, during, and after leaving an abusive relationship. In a randomized controlled pilot trial, study participants who were classified as survivors of intimate partner violence participated in internet-delivered cognitive behavioral therapy (iCBT). The goal was to evaluate the method’s efficacy in decreasing symptoms of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in survivors. 

Overall, the treatment proved feasible with only two hours spent delivering therapeutic treatment to each participant. 54% of participants in the treatment group showed reliable improvement on a measure of PTSD while 65% improved with regard to depressive symptoms. 

In addition to online therapy, the following resources might be valuable to survivors of domestic abuse:

• RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) - 1-800-656-4673
• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-8255
• National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-7233
• NAMI Helpline (National Alliance on Mental Illness) - 1-800-950-6264
• SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
• Mental Health America
• NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health)
• APA (American Psychiatric Association)

Takeaway

No one deserves to experience abuse – period. While leaving a relationship marked by domestic violence can feel like one of the most frightening decisions in the world, it is worth considering how staying can be even more terrifying or lethal for you and your children, if you have them. You do not have to go through this journey alone. When you’re ready, you can reach out discreetly to a professional licensed therapist at Regain for support. Until then, we hope these domestic violence quotes will encourage you to prioritize your well-being and take meaningful steps to leaving an abusive environment.