Do I Need A Pre-Marriage Class?

Before getting your marriage license and officially tying the knot, it may be a good idea to prepare yourself for the coming years of companionship (along with its good and bad times) by seeking out and enrolling in a pre-marriage class. Not only do pre-marriage classes prepare you for the inevitable trials and tribulations of commitment with your partner and future spouse, but they may also reduce the probability of divorce later on. Pre-marriage classes can provide you with information and skills necessary to develop a solid foundation with your future spouse to last you for many years to come.

The benefits of a pre-marriage class

Marriages may require effort and a learned form of compatibility on behalf of both spouses. Still,  effective communication might be the most important part of a successful partnership. Engaging in serious discussions with your future spouse about difficult topics such as children, sex, and finances, for example can be stressful. These types of conversations may require a thoughtful approach. Preparing for them with a licensed pre-marriage counselor can give you the proper tools to effectively discuss these topics both now and in the future.

Additionally, a pre-marriage counselor can teach both you and your future spouse new communication tools to avoid escalations that you may have experienced in the past. By having a professional mediate your discussions, you may learn new ways for the two of you to communicate more effectively. Marriage may not always be easy, no matter how much you love a person. Being prepared with the best possible communication skills can ensure that you and your spouse are able to weather the storms in life.

Pre-marriage counselors can also help you develop timelines for important marriage milestones that you may have previously deliberated over such as having and raising children, for example. Discussing your values and expectations surrounding parenting can help you avoid conflicts later on. Deciding on what works best for you as a couple, compromising on certain issues and expectations regarding your future kids, and even gaining a general idea of how many children you may want to have can alleviate some tensions going into the marriage. By discussing various issues with the help of a pre-marriage mediator, you and your spouse can avoid frustrating conversations after the big wedding day.

Engaging in these essential discussions before your nuptials take place may also allow both of you the opportunity to clear the air of any past resentment or uncertainties. It could help extinguish any doubts or fears about your upcoming marriage and the future you will share. This can help you avoid or mitigate any forthcoming marital stress. In premarital counseling, it could be a good idea to express any concerns you have going into the marriage and lay out the boundaries of the relationship between the two of you. Any insecurities or problematic behaviors can be discussed in a safe, nonjudgmental space. This can help alleviate any worries and doubts you might have prior to exchanging vows. 

It may also help to develop an actual plan for how to handle certain issues as they arise. Having this structured conflict resolution method in place can be a good technique for discussing sensitive topics or communicating when emotions are running high. This might allow you to step back and approach the situation safely and productively and come to a positive conclusion together. A trained premarital counselor can help you and your fiancé create a plan for addressing conflict that is tailored to each of your personalities and communication styles.   

Using pre-marriage classes for life planning

Perhaps the most stressful topic that married couples face is money and finances. Money can play a significant role in your partnership, so working together to achieve your goals might be paramount. Many married couples choose to invest in a home together and may have joint banking accounts. They may also have financial decisions to make such as how much money to allocate for a honeymoon, what their monthly budget will look like, and when to begin saving for children and retirement, for example. Since finances can be a touchy subject and affect so many other aspects of a couple’s life, it may be vital to discuss these issues prior to the marriage. Without a thoughtful approach or the help of a third-party, these types of discussions could deteriorate into a heated argument. Some couples have significantly different spending and saving habits, so it could be important to reach a healthy compromise before signing a marriage contract.

Seeking help from a pre-marriage counselor can prepare both you and your significant other to discuss the tough topics, including finances, and do so in a productive, respectful, and constructive manner. Using the tools a pre-marriage class can teach you, you and your partner may be able to discuss all these things rationally and civilly. You can then clarify any questions, concerns, or doubts you have before the wedding. 

The same goes for discussions about sex and intimacy. This can be a sensitive topic, especially if you don’t see eye-to-eye. Intimacy can be key to a strong partnership, so you may want to avoid saying anything that might be interpreted by your fiancé as offensive or insulting.  Pre-marriage counseling can help you take a tactful approach when the time comes to discussing this part of your relationship. Openness and honesty may be the best way to communicate with your future spouse, but this could be an area that requires significant finesse to avoid any hurt feelings or worries over inadequacy. If not handled well, some spouses-to-be might begin to fret over future infidelity, especially if they come away from the conversation feeling incapable of meeting their partner’s physical needs. 

Seeking out professional pre-marital assistance

Marriage is a special companionship that may require equal parts love and effort. With divorce rates on the rise, attending a pre-marriage class may be a wise choice. Preparing now can better your chances later of maintaining the love and commitment you share with your fiancé. 

If you’re hesitant to seek out premarital counseling in person, you’re not alone. Many people get so caught up in the wedding preparations, they barely have time for anything else. Online counseling can save you and your partner time since there’s no need to commute to a therapist’s office. Instead, you can attend sessions from the comfort of your home. This form of remote counseling might also be more convenient since you can schedule appointments around the clock, whenever you can fit it into both of your calendars.

There’s also no need to worry over the legitimacy of internet-based therapy. Online counseling has been proven effective for couples in long-term relationships. A recent study demonstrated the advantages an online intervention had in improving couples’ communication skills.  

Takeaway

As rewarding as it can be, marriage can also be challenging. Like other challenges in life, preparation may be key. If you want to give your upcoming marriage the best chance for success, consider online premarital counseling from Regain. Our compassionate licensed therapists and marriage counselors are waiting to lend a listening ear and a helping hand as you build on foundational skills for your relationship. Reach out today and pave your path to wedded bliss.