Free Premarital Counseling Vs. Paid Premarital Counseling

Updated May 27, 2024by Regain Editorial Team
“When enlisting help from a professional it is always important to do your research and consider their credentials. Whether free or not, finding someone with the preferred experience will make sure they are a good fit for you. Whatever choice you make, enlisting the help of a counselor is a healthy and wise choice before your marriage begins.” - Ryan Smith, LPC, NCC

Many couples decide to pursue premarital counseling to discuss challenges that could come up in the future, including financial intimacy, parenting styles, and how to handle conflict. Even if your relationship doesn’t seem to have any problems, premarital counseling can be a beneficial way to further strengthen your relationship before you enter marriage together. 

When it comes to premarital counseling pricing, there can be a lot of options to consider. Some of these options—like faith-based counseling, government offered counseling, and couple’s counseling hotlines—are often offered free of cost. Whereas others (like premarital therapy at an individual practice) may be covered by health insurance or paid for out-of-pocket. Some providers also offer online therapy, which typically costs about the same amount that you’d expect from an insurance co-payment. 

The best type of therapy for you and your partner will depend on many factors, such as your geographic location, financial means, and the severity of any relationship challenges you’re facing.

Ready to take the next step in improving your relationship?

Does free premarital counseling work?

If you and your partner think you would benefit from premarital counseling, but can’t afford it, free may be available. 

If you need free relationship help as soon as possible, you may want to reach out to a relationship hotline, like Love is Respect or Mental Health Hotline. Otherwise, you can often find free premarital counseling through churches, local organizations, government funded groups, workplace benefits, and community centers. Many places offer free therapy (individual and/or group) for specific challenges, such as trauma survivors, veterans, or people affected by substance use disorder.  

You may also be able to get free therapy services from a charity like Give an Hour

In addition to free therapy services you might find, there are some other free or low-cost options available. These include: 

  • Apps: There are many apps that can be helpful for relationships. For example, the LoveNudge app can help partners learn and speak each other’s love languages, and an app like Honeydue can make it easier to navigate shared finances with your partner. 
  • Books: There are many relationship books available. When possible, it’s recommended that you choose a book written by a licensed mental health professional, like these: 
    • “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide From the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert,” by John Gottman and Nan Silver
    • “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love,” by Sue Johnson
    • “Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life,” by Emily Nagoski
    • “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship,” by Terrence Real
  • Podcasts: You and your partner might find some benefits from listening to relationship podcasts, such as “Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel,” or “That Relationship Show.” 
  • Worksheets: There are many free worksheets available online. Some examples include the High-Quality Relationships, About Your Partner, Three Things We Have in Common, and Interviewing Your Partner worksheets from Positive Psychology. 

Note that while these resources can be very helpful, they’re not considered an alternative to synchronous therapy sessions with a licensed therapist. 

However, you may notice that free counseling services are not always offered by qualified mental health providers. Instead, they may be led by chaplains, peers, or therapists-in-training. Additionally, these services might only be available for short-term use, and they may only be offered to clients in crisis.

In short, free premarital counseling can “work” (i.e. improve your relationship satisfaction and improve overall mental health), and many people benefit from it. However, it might not be the best or highest quality option for you and your partner. 

The benefits of paid counseling

The advantage to paid counseling over free premarital counseling is that it’s usually offered by licensed counselors, who typically have experience in marriage and family therapy or couple’s therapy. 

When looking for a paid therapist, it’s a good idea to ensure they meet a few requirements: They should have a state license and certification from an organization like the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Licensing and certification require not only supervised work experience and examination, but also graduate or postgraduate degrees. Licensing, education, and exam requirements can help ensure therapists are working within their legal and ethical bounds and providing evidence-based therapy services for their clients. 

The cost of paid therapy can vary depending on a variety of factors: 

  • Insurance: Some therapists accept health insurance, which may make therapy free, though many plans require a co-payment. If you’re looking for pre-marital or couple’s therapy, however, you might notice that many health insurance plans cover individual therapy for a diagnosed disorder, but they often do not cover couple’s therapy. Furthermore, therapists who accept health insurance may have longer waiting lists than therapists who take out-of-pocket payments. 
  • Income-based discounts: Therapists who do not accept your insurance may offer their services on a sliding-scale, meaning clients pay what they can. Oftentimes, sliding-scale payments can reduce the cost of seeing a therapist by half (or more). 
  • Education: According to the American Psychological Association, master’s-level clinicians often offer lower-fee services than those with doctoral-level education. Additionally, licensed mental health providers early in their career may offer lower-cost services while they build their business and experience. 
  • Other factors: Therapy prices can vary dramatically based on geographic location, expense of renting office space, specialized training, and whether they offer services in-person or online (or both). 

Psychotherapy (talk therapy) has been highly researched by scientific experts. Different types of talk therapy have been shown to help clients navigate mental disorders and challenges such as depression, anxiety, grief, PTSD, substance use disorders, and difficulties with interpersonal relationships. 

Therapy can teach people important skills, including healthy coping skills, communication skills, conflict de-escalation, executive functioning skills, and building a growth mindset.

Ready to take the next step in improving your relationship?


Does online premarital counseling work?

Online couples’ therapy, when provided by licensed professionals, is typically very similar to in-person therapy. While it’s not done face-to-face, research have found that people grow a strong therapeutic alliance in both online and in-person couple’s therapy, and both types of delivery can effectively improve both relationship quality and overall metal health.  Furthermore, online therapy is often more cost-effective and convenient than in-person therapy. 

What’s better: Free or paid premarital therapy? 

The best type of therapy for you and your partner will depend on multiple factors, including your financial means and the degree of your challenges. 

In general, it may be a good idea to explore paid therapy options with a licensed professional and see if there’s a way to make it more affordable (such as asking about sliding scale therapy or working with a therapy student under the supervision of a licensed professional). However, if you need help more urgently, you could consider calling a hotline for crisis support or to get connected with other therapy services. 

Online therapy provided by licensed professionals can be a good option for many people. It’s often more affordable than in-person therapy (usually about the price you’d expect from an insurance co-payment), and platforms like Regain offer online couple’s therapy in many different forms—including videoconferencing, in-app messaging, and voice call options for sessions. These options can make therapy less intimidating and easier to schedule for some couples.  

By using online therapy services, many clients find that they don’t have to sacrifice quality to afford premarital counseling.   

Takeaway

This article can be summarized well with this quote from Ryan Smith, LPC, NCC: “When enlisting help from a professional it is always important to do your research and consider their credentials. Whether free or not, finding someone with the preferred experience will make sure they are a good fit for you. Whatever choice you make, enlisting the help of a counselor is a healthy and wise choice before your marriage begins.” 

Free therapy and paid therapy can both be great options, but either way, it’s a good idea to ensure that the therapist you work with has adequate education and credentialing to increase the likelihood that they provide evidence-based therapy, and that their services are within the legal and ethical standards that licensed professionals are held to.

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