The Right Pre-Marriage Classes Could Keep Your Marriage Intact

Are you ready to get married? Chances are that if you're engaged to someone you love, you think you are. But if you haven't gone through pre-marriage classes, you and your partner may not know each other quite as well as you want to before you tie the knot. Before the wedding, it can be helpful to talk about your beliefs, your feelings about different issues, and what your expectations are—among other things. In fact, anything from who should be responsible for specific chores around the house to what will happen if you get that big job offer across the country are important things to discuss.

With pre-marriage classes, you're going to have the ability to increase your chances of keeping your marriage going strong. That's because these types of classes are going to help you with all those tough conversations—before you ever say "I do." Keep reading to learn more about the benefits of pre-marriage classes.

What are pre marriage classes?

Pre-marriage classes are all about helping engaged couples like you and your partner get to know each other even better than you already do so that you can become a healthy and functional married couple. They're about helping you plan your life together, making sure that you know what to expect from each other once you get married, and helping you figure out how to resolve problems as they come up—plus a whole lot more. Pre-marriage classes can help you and your partner build a strong relationship together, and they can help make sure you're both prepared for anything that might happen long before it does.

Through pre-marriage classes, you may find out a lot about both your partner and yourself. The idea isn't to make you change your mind about getting married. Instead, the idea is to make sure that you're going into the marriage with your eyes wide open and prepared for what's going to come. Sure, there are always going to be surprises, but the more you know before you jump in, the better the chances that your relationship is going to be successful, and you and your partner are going to be happy for the rest of your lives together. That's the whole point of marriage after all, isn't it? Pre-marriage classes help you and your future spouse to have clear ideas of what your future family life, goals, and relationship may look like.

These classes could take place in several different ways. You can attend classes that are just for you and your partner or classes that include several different couples. Classes with more than just the two of you can be a great option because they allow you to talk with other people going through the same things that you are. They're also going to let you get more ideas about things that you should talk about and areas where you might differ in your opinions or beliefs.

Still, through a one-on-one experience with your therapist, you can also attain a sense of strength and development for your family and your future. You'll have the ability to dive deep into the issues and the things that are important to you and your partner specifically, rather than looking at more general issues that might affect most families. For example, classes with multiple couples (such as this course from Alpha International) might focus on the general areas of chores, finances, and children, but individual classes might be able to focus on differences of religion or specifics about your relationships with other people.

Some classes are just about you and your partner and may not even have a therapist at all. You can just work through sessions with your partner without having to go to an office or do anything else extra. It only requires you and your partner to be looking for solutions together and to be looking for a way to improve your relationship to a point where you can spend the rest of your lives together. After all, if you can get through these classes and learn about one another, you'll be ready for anything.

Why you might want pre-marriage classes

You might want pre-marriage classes because you want to make sure that you can take care of anything that might come up in your married life. You never know what's coming down the pike. You and your partner may have minor problems later on, or you may have major ones. 

Perhaps you want to know what you're in for with your partner before you walk down that aisle. You want to know everything you possibly can about them and about the things that are important to them—and share the things that are important to you.

Keep in mind that these types of classes aren't just about problems in your relationship. Maybe you and your partner don't currently have any problems, and you don't think that you ever will. In that case, you and your partner can still discuss your thoughts and your views on different things. Have you ever actually sat down and explained what you want for your future career? How about your thoughts on having children? Have you discussed who's going to be in charge of taking care of the house or what you're going to do when it comes to holidays and special occasions? Taking a pre-marriage class can help you remember to have these important conversations and hash out most of the details in advance.

Even if you and your partner don't fight, there is a pretty big chance that you're going to at some point in the future. If that happens, what are you going to do? How are you going to handle disagreements and fights healthily? By working with a pre-marriage counselor, you're going to have someone to help you answer these questions and concerns. You'll have someone that can walk you through what a healthy disagreement looks like, and you're going to discover the methods of resolving problems that work for you and your partner.

Things to focus on in class

If you're still not sure just what you should be talking about pre-marriage, let's go over some of the basics. First, you should talk about your goals and your thoughts about getting married. What does it mean to you to get married? How important is taking this step? What do you expect that marriage is going to mean for the two of you, and how do you feel about that kind of commitment? Talking about these things can help both of you go into the marriage more focused on what each of you think that it means.

How your household will run is another important topic to consider. Talk about the different things that need to be done around the house. If you and your partner have been living together, this might be something you've already discussed or something that is already happening in your lives, but you may still want to make sure that both of you are on the same page about how it will continue once you're married.

Discuss what goals you have for your future how those goals are going to affect your relationship. Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to move to another state or get a vacation home or get a new job or anything else? All of these things are going to affect your partner, and they're things that you may want to discuss together before you get married. 

Finally, you should talk about any problems that you have. The things that you find minorly annoying or an inconvenience now could turn into major problems later on if you ignore them and let them fester. There may be things bothering your partner, too. Together, you can figure out what needs to change before you get married. After all, both of you deserve to be completely happy for the rest of your lives, and that only happens if you learn to be honest from the very start.

Engage in pre marriage counseling online

Talking together before marriage, whether it's in a class or with a counselor, can benefit you for the rest of your wedded lives.

If you're looking for some support, you may want to take a class or talk with a couples counselor, but what happens if there aren't local options? You may want to take your search online. There are many courses and counselors to be found online, and this can give you and your partner varied options to choose from.

You might be surprised at just how easy it is to have a pre-marriage session entirely online. A service like Regain offers access to therapists licensed to work with those who are in a relationship. Regain allows you to connect with a counselor matched specifically to you, and your sessions can take place right from home. You and your partner can sit on your couch and work out everything you need to before your big day arrives. With help from Regain, you can be confident that you're ready for wedded bliss.