The True Premarital Counseling Cost

Despite common misconceptions, premarital counseling is not just for religious people. Couples who are engaged or planning to become involved usually do not know what to expect in marriage. A lot of times, they incorrectly assume things will be the same as they were before marriage. Couples may also think that the financial cost of receiving premarital counseling makes it not worth it in their relationship. 

This article will explore what premarital counseling is, the financial cost of attending it, and what the costs might be to your relationship if you don’t go to premarital counseling.

What is premarital counseling? 

Premarital counseling is a specific type of couple’s therapy that’s intended to help you and your partner prepare for marriage. This type of counseling is often conducted in religious settings, but there are many premarital counselors who offer therapy for anyone, regardless of their religious beliefs or lack thereof. 

Common topics and questions addressed during premarital counseling include: 

• Finances: How will you and your partner split expenses? What are your values surrounding money? What are your financial goals? Do you have any debt? 
• Beliefs and values: What are your expectations of your spouse? Do you believe in traditional marital roles? Are you religious, and if so, how important is religion to you? If you had children, is it important that they practice your religion? How important is it to spend time with family? 
• Communication: What’s your communication style? Do you believe that your partner should be able to know what you’re thinking without having to verbalize it? 
• Social life: Are you an introvert or extrovert? How important is it for you to live near friends and family? 
• Work: What are your career goals? How important is work-life balance to you? Would you want to move for your dream job, and would you expect that your spouse would give up their job to follow yours? 
• Family: How often would you plan on seeing your family members? And in-laws? While either partner be expected to provide for their parents, siblings, or other people? How will you navigate family challenges and caregiving responsibilities? 
• Sex: What are your expectations for your sexual life? How many times per week do you consider ideal for sexual intimacy? Do you have sexual intimacy challenges, or how would you deal with sexual dysfunction if it were to occur in the future? Are you prepared to have open discussions about your sex life with your partner? 
• Children: Do you intend to have children? Will you explore other options (such as IVF, surrogacy, or adoption)? When would you like to have children? How many children would you like to have? 

By explicitly addressing these areas, couples can develop a better understanding of their partners expectations for marriage. The topics often emphasized during premarital therapy are those that are likely sources of marital conflict and addressing them proactively may help form a stronger marriage.

How much does it cost? 

Pre-marriage counseling costs can vary significantly, depending on factors like provider credentials, whether they accept your health insurance, your geographical location, and the duration of sessions. 

According to some sources, the average premarital counseling costs around $125-175 per session, which means you can likely expect to pay somewhere between $600-900 for five sessions (the average number of premarital counseling sessions).  

Some premarital counseling services might cost significantly less, such as: 

• Faith-based premarital counseling: Oftentimes, faith-based premarital counseling is less expensive than therapy offered by a licensed professional. However, for couples needing more significant help, or those who are not religious, this may not be an appropriate option. 
• Online couple’s therapy: Unlike in-person therapists, online therapists typically have less overhead because they don’t have to rent office space or commute to work. In part, this results in online therapy often costing less than its in-person counterpart. 
• Local resources: Some organizations in your area might offer free or reduced-cost premarital counseling sessions or courses.
• Hotlines: If you are experiencing a crisis, there are many free national hotlines you can call. These resources, like Love is Respect and National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, often offer crisis counseling services and they can help you find other resources for help. 
• Alternatives to therapy: If you can’t afford therapy sessions (or if you want to supplement therapy sessions), you may want to explore books, worksheets, podcasts, and group classes written/hosted by licensed mental health professionals. Oftentimes, these resources are free or low-cost. 

Even if a couple could afford premarital counseling, some turn away from the idea due to stigma. Premarital (and marital therapy in general) therapy is often associated with either the Catholic faith or serious relationship issues. People might worry that bringing up the idea of therapy with their partner will be offensive, or that it’s only for people dealing with infidelity or serious conflict. 

But that’s just not true. Premarital therapy can be very helpful for happy couples who want to strengthen their bond, address potential areas of future conflict, or just have a space to hold open conversations about topics that can be a bit uncomfortable or awkward.

Studies show that people who go to couple and/or marriage therapy experience improvements in relationship satisfaction and marital quality, with 75% of couples who’ve tried it saying it was helpful for their marriage. Additionally, by seeking premarital counseling before marriage, couples are more likely to feel comfortable reaching out for help later in their marriage.

The cost of not attending premarital counseling 

On average, couples who opt to not attend premarital counseling or couples therapy are less likely to reach out for help if they need it later in their marriage, they’re more likely to have low relationship satisfaction, and they’re more likely to get a divorce rather than work through their challenges together.

Premarital counseling can give you an opportunity to proactively get ahead of any future challenges, and therapists typically emphasize talking about some of common drivers of divorce, such as: 

• Finances
• Parenting styles
• Family support 
• Sexual needs and expectations 
• Values and compatibility
• Healthy communication 

According to some surveys, “63% of divorcees believe a better understanding of the commitments of marriage could have helped them to avoid divorce.” This suggests that premarital counseling might have the potential to save you from the financial and emotional toll of divorce later on.

How online counseling can help

Online premarital therapy can provide many couples with the benefits of premarital therapy at a price point that may be more accessible. For example, online couple’s therapy on a platform like Regain can match you with a licensed couple’s therapist in your state. Though they do not accept health insurance, the cost of sessions is typically comparable to an insurance co-pay, so it may be a more affordable option for you and your partner.

In addition to often being more affordable and convenient, online therapy led by licensed therapists is often as effective as in-person therapy. A 2021 study published in Frontiers in Psychology evaluated online couples therapy compared to in-person couples therapy, finding that both were equally effective at promoting a strong therapeutic alliance, and both resulted in equal and significant improvements in mental health and relationship satisfaction. 

Regain therapists reviews

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

“Cris Roman saved my marriage. His approach to therapy taught my husband and I the skills we needed to change the way we communicated and the way we understood each other. He is very non-judgemental and helps each person make sense of the others' feelings and actions without taking sides or placing blame. His ability to make you feel heard while helping you to see and understand why your significant other is acting a certain way is phenomenal.”

Takeaway 

The upfront cost of premarital counseling may be more than you’d expect, but in retrospect, many married couples believe that premarital counseling was beneficial for their marriage and life together. It can provide a structured, non-judgmental environment to explore questions you might have never thought to ask or felt uncomfortable bringing up. 

Despite the benefits that premarital therapy can provide, the price can pose a significant barrier. Online couple’s therapy is often less costly than in-person therapy (typically costing about as much as an insurance co-payment), and studies have shown that it’s generally just as effective as its in-person counterpart.