What Pre-Marital Courses Can Mean For You

You and your partner want your relationship to work. You want to build a strong, long-lasting bond. You want to make sure you're choosing a partner who is going to be right there with you through it all—and your partner wants to know the same. 

While you may think that you and your partner are ready for the next step—you both want to get married—taking premarital courses or engaging in premarital counseling could help you in the long run to ensure you are both ready for what's ahead. Keep reading to learn more about pre-marital courses and counseling and how they can help you and your partner prepare for your future together.

What are pre-marital courses?

Pre-marital courses or premarital education plans are often held by a licensed therapist or counselor for the benefit of couples who believe they are ready to get married. They are similar to pre-marital counseling in that the goal is to learn more about each other before your big day (though counseling tends to have a stronger focus on individual mental health communication and goals). Pre-marital courses require you and your partner to attend classes and meetings during which you will learn to better understand each other and the commitment you are about to make to one another. Through these courses, you and your partner can explore your thoughts and feelings about certain things, and look at how you would react in specific situations. 

You may talk about things such as whether the two of you wish to start a family, how you plan to handle money, where you want to live, and ways you can resolve conflict in your relationship to avoid divorce. Pre-marital counseling is a highly recommended tool that you can use to strengthen your marriage before it even begins. Pre-martial courses are an alternative to pre-marital counseling and can make a significant difference in your future with your partner.

Why pre-marital courses?

So, why would you and your partner choose a pre-marital course? Well, you might take them to find out whether you and your partner are on similar paths and whether you're compatible with one another in some of the most important ways, including whether you have compatible temperaments and goals. By working through courses like these, you'll confront your beliefs and your thoughts and feelings, and you'll learn more about your partner's.

Many states will reward you for taking these courses by giving you a lower cost on marriage certificates with proof of the completed course. Also, these courses can be very beneficial to your future marriage since you will have all your issues on the table before you say, "I do." You and your partner will be able to rest easy knowing that you are both on the same page as you start your life together and can also be confident that your marriage will be fruitful and long-lasting since you took the necessary steps to be sure you were compatible beforehand.

How pre-marital courses work

Some of these courses are held away from your home and are basically like going to a camp. Often, you stay in a hotel or cabin and you and your partner are together the entire time, going through the courses and activities together. Some courses are more like going to counseling sessions where you and your partner go to sessions each day rather than being there through the day for an all-day session. You and your partner can decide which system will work best for you.

If you choose to work with a pre-marital counselor, meetings are usually set up as a program with a set number of sessions split up any way you want. It is crucial to speak to your partner and counselor during your first session so that you can find out all that will be expected of the two of you. By knowing what to expect, you can minimize any anxiety or uneasiness you or your partner may be feeling toward the process.

What can pre-marital courses do for me?

Aside from getting you and your partner on the same page and showing you new communication techniques, pre-marital counseling can do a great deal for your mental well-being as well. Many couples who have been through pre-marital counseling agree that they are much more at peace about marrying their significant other after completing these courses.

All too often, marriages fall apart following small problems that snowball into major problems. Pre-marital counseling can help you to understand one another at the very beginning and learn together how to address those small problems when they arise.

When getting married, many people don't consider that life changes in so many different ways, including changes in day-to-day living. Pre-martial counseling offers the opportunity to discuss how you both envision running the household—from how often you will do laundry to who will do the after-dinner clean-up.

Diving in deep and thinking ahead

You may be wondering just how personal a pre-marital session can get. The both of you will need to be prepared to dive in deep. By examining all the areas of your relationship, you can truly get to know more about how your partner ticks and what that means for your marriage.

Every couple fights. It's important to discuss during your counseling how you plan to handle those fights. Your counselor or therapist may suggest to you to always resolve issues as quickly as possible. The last thing you want is to harbor hate or resentment in your heart regarding an issue that could have been taken care of much sooner.

Many new couples don't want outsiders to see that they have their own set of problems. It is important to remember that arguing and having disagreements is completely normal, and you should certainly let your counselor assist you with how to handle complex issues so that you can have a long and happy marriage with the person of your dreams.

Perhaps the most common subject discussed in pre-marital counseling is the meaning of marriage commitment. This is unlike any other agreement we will make in our lifetime because it is a promise that you will spend life together forever. We all know the phrase "Till death us do part," but it is common not to think deeply about what that will entail.

Your counselor or therapist can delve into this notion with you and your partner, allowing you a much more in-depth idea of what commitment is and what will be expected of the two of you in the years to come.

Working with your partner

The most important thing is to make sure that you and your partner are being completely open and honest when you attend these sessions. If you're not, they may not work, and you won't be able to get the information you need out of them. Keep in mind that just because you don't agree on something or don't share the same views doesn't mean that you can't have a happy relationship. What it means is that you need to discuss the areas in which you think differently and figure out how you can make those differences work for you as a couple.

From time to time, a big issue can come up in therapy that offers no immediate resolution. In times like these, be sure to offer your partner extra grace, as the entire process can be very draining at times. Many couples in pre-marital counseling come in on Cloud 9, believing their love can conquer anything, but sometimes that's not entirely true, and they may find they have some issues to work out.

Marriage can be a lot of fun, but can also be hard work, and you want to be sure the person you have on your team is willing to work on issues, no matter how big or small. Don't be afraid to ask your counselor or therapist for extra advice or help. It is important that you take full advantage of these sessions before it is too late.

Can online therapy help?

Pre-martial courses or counseling can be a huge help as you're heading toward your marriage. You can learn more about each other and go into the marriage with a clear understanding of where you and your partner stand on a whole host of issues.

If you and your partner are busy, you may want to consider finding pre-marital courses or counseling online. Exploring this process online allows you to fit it in wherever you have time—and you can complete sessions right from home.

Consider speaking to a relationship expert at an online platform such as Regain. At Regain, we offer licensed therapists who can help you ensure you and your partner are ready for anything once you tie the knot. Regain is both affordable and convenient—and we're here to help you get your marriage off to the best start.