How Family Values Benefit Children & Families

Frequently asked questions (FAQs) on family values

What're family values?

Specific family values intertwine with moral values which are the set of values created by society as acceptable or unacceptable behavior. Since we all have different beliefs, moral family values can be different than the moral values of society as a whole.

This means that the moral values that are acceptable within a strong family framework aren’t always accepted by the larger society (and vice versa.) The family values set in early life will follow us into adulthood. Family values are important as this list of values and standards for behavior inside of nuclear families. The relationship between family values and family relations go-hand-in-hand. 

What're important family values?

Some of the most important family values for a strong family to instill in their families are moral values like honesty, trust, integrity, and loyalty. Having these values is important to keeping the family unit functioning smoothly so that all goals of the family can be achieved. 

Family values automatically apply to the nuclear family unit and are often extended to the family living outside of the nuclear family home. Traditionally the nuclear family home was encompassed by a married couple with children living in a single family home. An important role of family values is to establish a universal set of standard behaviors.

These values apply both inside of the family and to interaction with the larger society. It’s important to note that family values may not always mirror those of the larger society. For this reason, some family values may be considered by those with differing value systems as complex or unorthodox. Traditional family values and important family morals are passed down and between generations.

While moral values and family values give us a primary blueprint for behavior, many people find as they become adults that their meaningful family values have less meaning as we break away and create our own family system. In many cases when people enter adulthood, they will keep the family values that are important to the like spending quality family time together and make new values for families that are growing, evolving, and changing.

What're traditional family values?

Traditional family values like loyalty, honesty, respect and a good work ethic give nuclear families the foundation for important social behaviors. Family values that are instilled and passed down between generations include marriage and family values and moral values. Marriage and family values set the standard for how married partners are expected to engage with each other and the family. Some values that relate to marriage and family that are likely to be between generations are religion, education, work-ethic, and separation or divorce.

Spending family time is valued as an important time for families to reconnect and assess whether changing needs allows for the family to keep their values in order. Without working hard to support your family and contributing to the global family unit, the survival, health, and wellness of your family may be at risk. As a result many American families place priority on work as a primary value that is important to your family stability. When we look at families in this way, we can see why family time and similar family values are an important part of well-functioning family systems.

Are family values important?

People who have strong family values believe that their methods and strategies have been proven to work best. In many cases, families who are considered to have strong family values are often resistant to change. Unfortunately, the resistance to change family values often remains despite the evidence that the change is both beneficial and inevitable.

The term family values relates to an intangible social contract that family life and behaviors is based on. Family values dictate what behaviors are acceptable and expected within a family and what behaviors are frowned upon. The majority of adults will base their life experiences and relationships on the early childhood experiences and family values they had with their original family. 

The head of a family may call a family meeting to discuss the state of the family. Some families have a weekly family meeting to discuss goals and discuss their family values. As families have new experiences, they may find that traditional family values no longer make sense and may establish different kinds of family values based on the evolving needs of the family.

What're 10 moral family values?

1. Honesty – Dishonesty in American families is considered as a negative trait in many families.
2. Respect – Have you ever heard someone mention the phrase “ I paid my dues” in relation to their senior status as a head-of-household or other authority figure? 
3. Family – One of the most important family values that appear to be consistent across many cultures is the concept of quality family time. 
4. Justice – If you’ve ever heard the term “an eye for an eye” then you’ve already been introduced to the concept of social justice. In many American families, the head-of-household will promote a peaceful resolution to issues that happen inside and outside of the family. Keeping in mind that almost every family’s values are different, without a clear set of standards and rules, determining who is at fault for an incident (or if any incident has even occurred) can become a tricky proposition.
5. Religion – Traditionally people would automatically grow up and continue to choose the religion they were introduced to by their primary attachment figures. (In most cases, the primary attachment figures are the biological parents.) Today, more people are making independent choices surrounding the topics of marriage, family, and religion as more information is becoming available about the benefits and setbacks of religions and religious organizations worldwide. The topic of religion is often a source of content in families and society at large when people from differing religious viewpoints attempt to challenge each other’s point-of-view or religious stance. 
6. Education – One of the most debated topics in families often has to do with the value of education. When families have differing viewpoints about the topic of education, arguments and disagreements can occur. 
7. Career and Employment – Traditionally when you ask a small child “what they wanted to be when they grow up” the response would often be a “doctor” or a “lawyer.” Other popular career choices are “policeman,” “teacher,” and athlete. Oftentimes the result is that the career choice ends up being best for “them” and not the person making the decision about their career or employment.
8. Integrity – Many American families value the concept of integrity and instill this value in their families. People who have integrity can be counted on to do the right thing in any situation — regardless of who is watching. A famous quote once stated is “ The true character of a man is revealed — when no one is watching.” When someone exercises integrity, they practive the morals and values they preach while remaining steadfast and trustworthy.
9. Contribution – Participating in your own upkeep is one of the many unwritten values that are at the center of family rules. Contribution in families is expected when it comes to raising children, responsibilities, financial responsibilities and more.
10. Loyalty – As families weather the ups and downs of life together and are responsible for each other’s safety, well-being, and support. It stands to reason that families across all cultures the value of loyalty. In some cultures, family loyalty comes with fewer rules and expectations. In other cultures, family loyalty is considered as the cornerstone value for having a successful family.

How do family values affect a child & society?

The practice of instilling family values applies to the American family, and other family systems worldwide. To learn more about the importance of family time, family values, and family systems research periodicals like the Journal of Family Psychology (published by the American Psychiatric Association) are excellent resources to use.

When we are young, we initially adopt the set of values given to us by families and the nostalgia that comes along with those family values. Our primary values are learned as we watch how our family members engage with us, each other, and others outside of those we engage with in everyday family life. In this case, it is critical to recognize the importance of family values and personal values that are both consciously and unconsciously passed down to our children.

How do you define family values and types of family values?

The definition of family values differs depending on the cultural context of the phrase. However, the term family values typically refers to cultural values that reflect the family’s function, familial roles, belief systems, and morals. Family values are important in many different societies. You may have heard the term family values used in politics in The United States. A “traditional family” has been defined as one where two parents are raising children. One of the guardians, in a stereotypical family, functions as the primary breadwinner, while the second parent stays home and manages household duties, including childrearing and cleaning. Though this family system is antiquated, it’s still a model that many people view as normal, and a reflection of family values. Anything that deviates from this familial structure was once deemed a non-traditional family. Society is growing and changing, and that includes how we define family values.

Non-traditional families are becoming few and far between, meaning that the definition of what it means to be a family is growing. Seeing the nuclear family as the norm is being phased out, and we’re learning that there are all types of families. A nuclear family limits how we view familial roles. The reality is that there are different ways to view the American family. For example, there are one-parent family households. An extended family could contribute to the system. Children who have been adopted are part of a family. There are blended families. Some families aren’t blood-related. Some families don’t include children. The nuclear family isn’t the only one. The definition of family values differs depending on the dynamic of the family members. Family values give us a sense of a strong foundation and a sense of belonging. 

What are the most important family values when raising a child?