The Benefits Of Having Extended Family Nearby
At times it may seem like having extended family nearby is more of a burden than a bonus. If you make a list of pros and cons, your pro list will end up being much longer than your con list. If you have ever lived in a place where your extended family is not close by, you will soon realize what a blessing it is to have them near you.
Benefit #1: Moral support
No one knows you better than your family. If you have been through a traumatic event as a family, they will know exactly what you've gone through and will know exactly how you feel. If you are going through a particularly joyous period, they will be there to celebrate with you. Either way, you will have their support in good times and in bad. Who wouldn't want their family around to get hugs from on sad days and make a toast with happy days?
Benefit #2: Child care
Many people who have children cannot afford to stay home to care for them. Childcare can be very costly, so it can take some work to find affordable, quality childcare. If you have extended family nearby, who don't work or are retired, they will often jump at the chance to help with the care of their grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or other family members. Many times, this care will be free, or maybe there some bartering that will go on. Either way, it will be a huge money saver.
Benefit #3: Monetary support
It is said that borrowing money from a friend is a sure way to end that friendship. This may not always be true, but often it is more comfortable to borrow money from a family member than a friend. If you come into some money issues, extended families may be more than willing to loan or gift you money if the need arises. Another monetary support may be living with an extended family member until enough money is saved for a rental or to buy a condo or house.
Benefit #4: Life lessons
When children live near grandparents, they have a wonderful opportunity to learn life lessons by spending time with their older relatives. At times, children may not want to listen to the lessons and explanations that their parents with them. Children try to figure out their boundaries and independence at different life stages, so parents may be the last ones they want to listen to. They may be more likely to listen when they hear those lessons and explanations from their grandparents or older relatives. With age often comes wisdom.
Benefit #5: Holiday celebrations
There is nothing as uplifting as spending holidays with the family. This is where traditions and stories are handed down. It gives the holiday much more meaning when extended family surrounds you. Another benefit is that the holiday meals and parties can be rotated to the different homes each year so that the work and the chores are divided.
Benefit #6: Living history
Older family members who have gone through different historical periods can their first account knowledge of the event. Those who have fought wars, lived through the Great Depression, or other significant times in history are walking history books. These stories and first accounts are the best knowledge that the younger family members can be exposed to. It can also bring new respect and honor to these family members when the younger members realize what they have been through to get to that point in life.
Benefit #7: Medical background
With so many diseases and medical conditions being genetic, it is of the utmost importance to know your extended family's medical history. This can help with a proactive approach to avoiding disease or other medical conditions. If a medical concern does arise, the root of the issue can be found by studying medical histories or talking directly to the extended family member. If a certain disease is prevalent in a family, steps can be taken before any signs of that issue even present themselves. It can make for a healthier future for the younger family members.
Benefit #8: Confidant
Sometimes it is hard to find someone you truly trust with your thoughts, ideas, worries, etc. There is nothing like a trusted and loved family member to give these thoughts with. If someone may be feeling some mental health type concerns, they may talk to a trusted family member and find out that that family member or maybe another relative went through the same thing. There is nothing like talking to someone who has gone through some similar to make you feel better.
Benefit #9: Unconditional love
It is an unwritten rule that your family will love you unconditionally. Sure, problems arise, and fights occur, but when everything clears away . . . family is there. The family is where you should feel safe and where you should be willing to take risks because their love always is there. If you venture out and things don't work out, the family will be there to welcome you back with open arms. Don't take them for granted.
Benefit #10: Stories
One of the greatest, warmest feelings is getting together with family to recount stories and events that have happened. It could be stories of those who are no longer with you or the members who are present. You may tell those stories and laugh until you cry. With these stories, departed family members can always be with you because those memories will forever. Some family members may have different memories of events or may remember a situation that others have forgotten. It is always a warm sense of belonging, a nostalgic time when extended families get together to remember and make new memories.
Benefit #11: Talents
Certain family members may have talents that they want others to learn and pass down, especially if the talent is something that not many people showcase or specific to their culture. Having extended family nearby is a great way to showcase, and keep, the talent moving down the family line.
If there is a cultural dance or type of cooking highlighted in a family, it can be taught and carried on. The same holds true when there is a special creative hobby or artistic talent. Sometimes these talents have a genetic component and, when shared, help the younger family member shine within the family and community.
Books about extended family
This isn't to say that every extended family functions exactly as stated above. Issues come up. Arguments happen. It is how those problems are dealt with that makes the family stronger and happier. Some of the books listed below may help strengthen your extended family bond.
- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber
- It's All Relative: Adventures Up and Down the World's Family Tree, by AJ Jacobs
- Reluctantly Related Revisited: Breaking Free of the Mother-in-Law/Daughter-in-Law Conflict, by Deanna Brann
- Genealogy Basics in 30 Minutes: The quick guide to creating a family tree, building connections with relatives, and discovering the stories of your ancestors, by Shannon Combs-Bennett
- In-Law Relationships: The Chapman Guide to Becoming Friends with Your In-Laws, by Gary Chapman
- The Grandfamily Guidebook: Wisdom and Support for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, by Andrew Adesman and Christine Adamec
- Positive Family Dynamics: Appreciative Inquiry Questions to Bring Out the Best in Families, by Dawn Cooperider Dole and Jen Hetzel Silbert
Takeaway
If you have been through any traumatic family events that you feel are negatively affecting your life, you should contact a trained professional to assist you. Matching with a licensed therapist through Regain can be your first step to getting the help you need. It is affordable, convenient, safety, and can be one of the best things you can do for yourself and your wellness. Do the thing today that your future self will thank you for.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What are the pros and cons of an extended family?
Extended families can be a great support system, and you can rest assured that get-togethers will be a fun time. Extended family members are often quick to offer low-priced or free childcare as well, which can be a pro or a con depending on the type of care they provide. Just like everything else in life, there are advantages and disadvantages to extended family.
As for the cons, information is often quickly passed around extended families, so it may be hard to keep matters as as you’d like. Also, big extended families mean that it may be more difficult to make your voice heard, and you may feel that their judgment plays a large role when you bring around a friend or significant other. As a parent, family members may pass judgment on your style of discipline or parenting as well.
Living with an extended family will only make the advantages and disadvantages of extended families even more clear. When you are living with an extended family, the family dynamics can change day-to-day. Likely, it will rarely be quiet in the household as well. While some people thrive in this type of family environment and love creating strong family bonds, other extended family members who are not social may feel unimportant to the extended family system.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of a nuclear family?
Just like everything else in the world, this type of family has both advantages and disadvantages. One huge advantage to a nuclear family is that it provides much more stability and healthy family dynamics for children than other types of families, such as a one-parent family. Children typically form very strong family bonds with parents and siblings as well.
Nuclear families also tend to be more financially stable than a one-parent family, providing more family members opportunities. The consistency often experienced in a nuclear family is linked to better behavior and performance at school! Health benefits and communication skills are a couple more advantages of living with a nuclear family.
We’ve gone over the advantages and disadvantages that exist for the nuclear family too. For example, nuclear families sometimes pull away from the extended family, which means they’re missing out on a larger support system and opportunities for relationships and family bonds with extended family members such as cousins, aunts, and uncles. When living with an extended family, these bonds are much easier to form thanks to the proximity of the family, children, and other relatives.
When it comes to advantages and disadvantages, another downside of nuclear families is that many mothers in this setting reach a point of burnout because they feel that they must care for every family member's needs. As a parent, family members can be a huge source of childcare support; this benefits living with an extended family. Finally, in a nuclear family, children are often placed at the center. Because of this, children can form a self-centered worldview.
What are the advantages of the family?
There are many advantages (and disadvantages) to the family! Those who spend time with their family can enjoy improved mental health, increased life expectancy, better academic performance, and higher self-confidence levels. Also, enjoying time with family members can create strong emotional bonds and lead to better communication skills.
Although there are both advantages and disadvantages to living with an extended family, it gives the family children a great introduction to various family dynamics. Living with an extended family leads to economic responsibilities and care and support for the family, children, and older adults. Family culture and traditions will be passed down, and living with an extended family means that there are plenty of companions to spend time with and confide in.
What are the problems of extended family?
There are both advantages and disadvantages of extended families, and living with an extended family in particular. One issue that can arise and wreak havoc on extended families is gossip. In close-knit extended families, it may seem that everyone knows all the personal details of everyone else’s lives. However, constantly spreading information that may or may not be true to other family members can lead to family dynamics problems. For a parent, family members can help with childcare, but they can also be judgmental if parenting and discipline styles clash.
When it comes to advantages and disadvantages, lack of inclusion is another problem that extended families can run into. It’s easy for family members to feel left out sometimes in extended families, especially if they happen to be more shy or soft-spoken. In large extended families, it’s often important to be loud and make your voice heard if you want to be a part of the conversation and influence the family dynamics.
Deception, lies, failing to accept family members’ differences, and neglecting to apologize and forgive can all be problems for an extended family (or any family) as well. When living with an extended family, it can quickly become frustrating that there is very rarely a time that the house is totally quiet. Living with an extended family can also force the family children to bedrooms, which has both advantages and disadvantages.
What are the disadvantages of a sibling family?
Siblings provide a wonderful support system, and they ensure that the kids are never lonely. Oftentimes, siblings are each other’s first confidantes because they are the only other people in the world who understand what it’s like to live with their particular family. Siblings offer the opportunity to feelings and confide in each other. Whether siblings are part of a nuclear family, a one-parent family, or an extended family, they play a huge role in each child’s development.
But there are also disadvantages to having siblings. For example, jealousy and sibling rivalry are two common issues that arise. If parents show clear favoritism, that’s sure to drive a wedge between siblings as well. Plus, many siblings are very different from each other. This can be a positive thing because it allows them to learn from people with different perspectives, but it can also be hard for them to live with someone so different, especially if they have to a room.
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