12 Signs He Wants To Be More Than Friends
Let’s say that you’ve known someone for a while, but lately, you notice that your relationship is veering into something more. It could be that you’re close friends or even best friends with someone, and changes are occurring in the way you interact with one another. Your friendly feelings are developing into something more, and that is a good sign he’s into you. Maybe, you hold each other’s gaze for longer than you used to, or maybe, conversations that used to be friendly are bordering on flirty.
Another possibility is that you met someone recently and are wondering if they like you as more than a friend. Sometimes, it’s hard to differentiate subtle cues of romantic interest from friendliness or a bubbly, friendly personality. As a result, you may experience genuine confusion as to if someone’s into you or not. Other times, you want to know if someone likes you before you make a move or take things forward.
It could be an office buddy or a male friend you recently started getting close to. It is mostly believed that due to societal standards, guys don’t display emotions as much as the female gender -- most men tend to suppress their emotions and feelings, and this can make it hard to decipher if a guy likes you. Maybe you like him and are interested in dating him, but you are unsure if the feeling is mutual. And if you are the shy type, you may be too embarrassed to talk to your friends about it, as you do not want them to make a fuss over the issue; of course, approaching him to ask directly isn’t always an option.
12 signs he wants to be more than friends
At one point or the other, we all may arrive at that place where we wonder about a friend – “Do they like me or not?” No one wants to be left in the dark or spend too much time wondering. The good news is that it’s possible to clarify the situation so that you don’t have to wonder anymore. Here are all the signs a guy is interested in you romantically and the signs he doesn’t want to be just friends.
He remembers the details of what you tell him
People are not always good listeners. According to research, men, in particular, are not all too good at remembering details. Research shows that men only use one side of their brain when listening, while women use both sides. When men listen, they process language using the brain’s left hemisphere, while women process language through both the right and left hemispheres. Since emotions are processed primarily in the right hemisphere and language in the left, men may also have difficulty connecting words to feelings as easily or effectively as women.
But, when a guy likes you, he’ll notice things about you and seem more engaged in what you’re saying, often maintaining eye contact and open body language while you speak. So, when he’s listening actively, he’s telling you that he’s a man who likes you. Furthermore, men are often problem solvers and quick in decision-making. They may want nothing more than to fix a situation and get it over and done. At the same time, women take the time to listen and process information carefully, mentally storing details for future reference. So, men are also conditioned to listen actively.
When a woman initiates a conversation, the man may automatically assume she is seeking his advice or assistance -- something that he can solve for her. Some say that men do not remember details because they’re wired to be the provider. They may look at things as the big picture, while women may remember everything from anniversary dates and birthdays to details of a weekend away.
So, if you find that your guy friend is patiently listening and remembering the details of what you said, there’s a good chance he’s into you more than just a friend. When a male friend doesn’t just listen to you to give a reply but is actively listening to you with care and attention, or he remembers details of things you have discussed with him previously, or he asks you deeper questions about something you with him, then this may be an obvious sign that he cares about you. If he remembers the littlest details -- your birthday, your favorite color, your best friend’s name, even your dog’s favorite food, and every single thing about you, he is more than likely into you.
The way he talks to you differs from the way he talks to other people
Does my guy friend have feelings for me? Pay attention to how he talks to other people in comparison to how he talks with you. Are his mannerisms the same when he talks to his friends and other members of the sex to whom he is attracted, or are they more flirtatious with you? A guy who likes you will use more flirtatious language, but only with you. Does he seem more excited to talk to you, ask you more questions, use a different tone of voice, or give you more physical cues? Do his eyes light up a bit more? If it’s a guy who likes you at work, he might stray off-topic from work-related issues or compliment you on things often.
Consider comparing his behavior with other friends and his behavior with you, especially if you’re together with a group of people. If he still engages with you more or treats you in a way that makes you feel special, that’s a potential giveaway to the fact that he’s into you and sees you as more than a friend.
Another strong indicator would be if he compliments you. If your male friend loves to shower you with compliments in the presence of others and when you are alone, this could be a great way to know he likes you. Compliments are a great way to gauge if a guy likes you and wants something deep with you. Does he compliment you on the littlest things you don’t even pay much attention to or comment on unique tidbits about your personality? Or even notice subtle changes in your appearance or that you wore a new shirt? This shows that he cares about your looks and may like you beyond just friendship.
His body language gives it away
In addition to physical touch itself, people tend to use certain body language cues when they like someone and are not just being friendly. Actions speak louder than words, and this body language may serve as signs a guy likes you. If someone likes you, they’re likely to be physically drawn to you, have an open posture when they’re with you (for example, he may appear relaxed, comfortable, and attentive, with lowered or rested shoulders), gaze at you for longer than he looks at other people, (whether it’s from across the room or when you’re looking at each other directly), or sit and stand closer to you than he would with others. He might even appear nervous or sweaty in your presence. His face may flush every so often.
If you notice your male friend acts differently when you are around him -- as in trying to act cool in front of you, being quieter, or acting sweetly whenever you are around -- this may indicate that he wants you, as guys don’t usually do that except when they like someone.
If you like him back and want to get some extra information about what is going on or make a subtle flirt toward him, you might say sweetly and coyly, “Are you blushing?” Pay attention to how he reacts to that question, and you might see a response that serves as a dead giveaway. That’s why body language provides the top signs a guy is attracted to you romantically and wants to be more than just friends.
Also, when a man likes someone, he may occasionally mirror their body language (i.e., hold eye contact, imitate speech patterns or gestures). These signs a guy likes you are a bit easier to spot during a conversation. If your male friend does this, this is one of the subtle signs he likes you, respects and admires you, wants to gain mutual trust, and creates a connection with you.
If he begins to use similar language to you, like shortened words or slang, or if he imitates some of your mannerisms, like using his hands or touching his hair when talking, he may like you. If you also notice that he ‘accidentally’ touches you now and then -- not in a wrong or invasive manner, but playfully and decently -- this is a very significant clue. Guys usually like to touch people they have a crush on.
Another positive sign that a male friend likes you is if he smiles at you a lot. For example, if this guy is a shy person, but whenever he sees you, a smile lights up his face or constantly maintains eye contact, this is to hint that he is into you and wants to be more than just a casual friend. Does he look away quickly when you catch him staring? Then he is probably interested in you but shy. If his eyes wander to your mouth when you are together, he probably likes you.
He starts the conversation
Does he reach out to you and always initiate contact? Substantially more than you reach out to him? Maybe he tries to get your attention by funny jokes or sending a funny meme. If so, this could be a sign that he either wants to be close to you or that he wants to be more than friends. It can also reveal that he thinks he can stand a chance with you as more than just friends.
Maybe he asks you questions that he doesn’t need the answer to in order to start a conversation, or he makes an effort to inquire about how your day is regularly going. He’s excited to talk to you, and he’ll take any chance he gets to do it! He makes use of calls and texts and might take the chance to wish you a good morning and a good night, even if it’s just to open the conversation. If your guy friend starts doing this out of nowhere, or if you meet someone new and they’re always reaching out, it might be because there’s a critical thought on his mind that he can’t get the courage to verbalize, which could be that he likes you.
He likes all of your pictures
This might seem a little bit silly, but if he likes all your pictures and posts on social media and you see other signs that he’s interested, it could very well mean that he likes you as more than just a friend. Sure, friends like each other’s Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook posts. They react to each other’s Snapchat or public Instagram stories. However, if he likes every one of your pictures and heart-reacts to every Facebook post you make even though you feel they make no sense to him, or if he frequently initiates chats and conversations, there could be something there.
When you’re in a room full of people, he pays attention to you the most
Say that you are out with a group of mutual friends or that you’re at a party, and he happens to be there. Although there are many other people to talk to, he chooses to turn your way. It might even seem as though you’re the only two people there, despite being in a crowded or well-filled room because his eyes and his attention are on you and you alone.
This might happen in more subtle ways as well. For example, even if he’s engaging with the rest of the group, he might place extra focus on getting your opinion and asking you follow-up questions, keep prolonged eye contact with you, or look at you more than he looks at other people who are around.
He wants alone time with you
Despite the way this may sound, it isn’t meant to be indicative of innuendo. In the same way that he pays the most attention to you, even in a room full of other people, he seems to want to hang out with you one-on-one. He might ask you to come over for dinner, go hiking, have a picnic on the beach, go to a bar, visit an arcade, attend an event with you alone, or hang out and chill at his place – just the two of you.
Some people like to hang out with people one-on-one because they have social anxiety or have deep conversations with one or two people. Still, if you typically see each other in groups and he wants to spend time with you one-on-one specifically, it’s a good sign that he’s into you and that your personality and your company appeal to him.
He’s tongue-tied around you
Even the most astute male communicator may flounder under your mere presence if he’s really into you. What was once an effortless and smooth dialogue when he saw you as just a friend has now become a nervous search for the perfect words. A guy who likes you will want to choose the right words so that he might get a bit tongue-tied. Even if his words are shaky and he’s a bit nervous, he’ll likely make some effort to maintain eye contact. So, if you find him suddenly tripping up his words and tongue-tied, it could be a sign he wants to be more than friends.
He has a strong reaction to your presence
One way to know for sure if your guy friend likes you is to watch how he reacts when you enter a room. If a guy likes you, you will be able to tell from his body language when you are around him. A guy who likes you may begin to act a bit different around you, might stumble over his words, or even try to show off when you are around. Does his posture change, so he looks taller? Does he fix his hair or straighten his clothes? Does he try to keep consistent eye contact with you? Does he look down at his shoes to make sure they are tied? Does he tuck in his shirt to avoid appearing messy?
Nice guys who like you at work might defer to you more in meetings or focus on you instead of the speaker. This is a subconscious reaction to your presence and is a sign that he not only looks forward to seeing you, but that he wants to look his best around you at all times and impress you. This may also play out in terms of cracking jokes and throwing teases to see you laugh.
He makes his feelings known
When a guy feels expressly allowed that he can move forward, he will likely make his feelings known. He asks you out on a Sunday afternoon to see a romantic comedy or out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. If a guy wants to be more than friends with you, he’s going to want to be alone with you on a real date. It might not be the most expensive restaurant or the most extravagantly planned day, but it will be just you two, and it will be special. He’ll know what you like (because he remembers the details), and he might plan the date around those interests.
He’s willing to drop everything for you
Indeed, a good friend is there for you when you’re down, but a partner (or someone who wants to be your partner) will often react in a particular and more loving fashion when you’re in need. Is he the first to ask, “Hey, are you okay?” or “Do you want to talk?” when you’re sad? Does he try to cheer you up when you’re down and pay close attention when you talk about how you feel? Does he seem genuinely interested rather than dismissive? Does he rub your back or hold you when you are upset? If so, this tells you two things.
First, it tells you that he truly cares about you. Second, it tells you that he’s making an effort to show you that he’d be a supportive partner. Everyone shows that they like someone differently, depending on who they are and how eager they are to tell you how they feel. Still, at the very least, this tells you that he has regard for your emotions and wants to comfort you, which is an excellent thing to have from anyone in your life.
If your male friend is always willing to help you out more than a friend would or helps you with your work, even if it is tedious work, he probably likes you and wants you to be more than a casual friend. If he usually finds any and every excuse to spend time with you, then there’s something there.
You may also notice that he finds it hard to say goodbye to you after a conversation or meeting. You both may have spent the whole night talking about not-so-important things, yet it feels like the best conversation ever, and he doesn’t even want to stop. You are most likely in his heart if he always wants to drop everything to spend a lot of time with you.
He doesn’t mention other love interests
If a guy likes you, it makes sense that he wouldn’t talk about other romantic interests around you. You’re the one that’s on his mind, and he wants you to know that he’s available. Most guys check out countless numbers of people they might be attracted to every day. If you are not more than a friend, he won’t even have a problem telling you that a person he saw at the bus stop is hot.
But if he likes you and wants something deep with you, he won’t talk about this other person and you will likely be the center of his attention, giving you all the contact, and the only person he has eyes for. Additionally, if you’ve ever brought up other romantic interests to him or another guy, he may have shown jealousy, disappointment, or sadness, though he may try to hide it; deep inside, many questions are popping up in his head. If you’ve ever mentioned feelings for someone else, or even if you’ve talked about missing an ex-partner, how did he react? Did his face fall a little bit? If so, that is a potential sign that he likes you – especially if he’s flirty with you in any capacity.
If he hasn’t mentioned other people and you haven’t mentioned other people to him, you can also look at if he’s reciprocal when you flirt or not. If you’re shy and haven’t made a move yet, it might be tough to gauge how he feels for sure, but if you have tried your hand at flirting with him and he reciprocates, it’s a sign that he likes you and wants to take things up a notch. Pay attention to his behavior when topics surrounding romance come up – that might be your greatest hint. Much of the time, you’ll notice several of the signs above if a person likes you.
However, there are times when someone – especially if you’re close friends – will try to hide their feelings not to ruin your friendship. Even when you have a hunch that someone likes you, it’s natural to be nervous and to want as much clarity as possible. If you like him, pouring your heart out without knowing how he feels can be anxiety-inducing. If you’re nervous and want a professional to talk things through with, or you need relationship advice or dating tips, you might consider seeking the help of a mental health professional. Regardless of if you see someone online or in your local area, you deserve a safe, comfortable space to talk things through.
In summary, the biggest signs that your guy friend likes you involve his actions and body language and the things that he comes out and tells you. While just one of these telltale signs taken alone isn’t the perfect indicator that he’s romantically into you, it’s hard to say “he’s just a friend” when a lot of these signs are viewed holistically.
Online therapy for relationship advice
Whether you have questions or concerns about friendships, relationships, or even overcoming past relationships, the licensed mental health providers at Regain are available to those in need of help and can be a relationship coach for your specific needs. They give relationship advice and dating tips to help you build, nurture, and enjoy your relationships. Know that you are not alone and that, at Regain, compassionate online counselors are here to help you work through anything that’s on your mind.
With Regain, you can speak with a therapist or counselor whenever you need to from your own home. With chat, text, phone, and video chat options, you can speak with a mental health professional in a way that is the most convenient for you and get the support you need.
Many people have found excellent relationship support through trying online therapy. One recent study sought to examine the efficacy of an online intervention in supporting 356 heterosexual couples in their relationship satisfaction. Researchers identified significant improvements in relationship satisfaction, in addition to reductions in depressive and anxious symptoms. While you may not live with a mental health condition like depression or anxiety, it is normal to feel anxious when trying to figure out if someone likes you more than a friend.
Takeaway
He likes me, he likes me not…regardless of the answer, a professional online therapist at Regain is qualified to help you explore potential relationships and build the confidence to make the first move, should you decide that’s the step you’d like to take. Even if you experience rejection, that’s still good information to have, and you can move forward into the next relationship with more confidence in your ability to tell if someone likes you.
Frequently asked questions
How do you tell if he just likes you as a friend?
If you’re asking yourself, “Does he like me more than a friend?” here are a few key signs that the answer is yes. Of course, you can observe his behavior. Does he treat you exactly the same way that he treats his friends, or does he pay special attention to you? If you find that he’s listening more attentively or going out of his way to spend more time with you than his other pals, it could be a clear sign of romantic interest. However, if you see that he approaches you with the same interest as the others in the friend group, then he’s probably keeping you in the friend zone.
How do you tell if someone likes you or just wants to be friends?
If someone wants to be more than just friends – or if you’re hoping to move out of the friend zone – there are some signs that point to romantic feelings. For example, there are several body language signs that a person likes you and may have romantic feelings for you. If the person is always adjusting their body to face you, leans in when you are speaking to them, or mirrors your own body language, then this can be a big sign that they like you.
Another one of the obvious signs that a person likes you is when they go out of their way to spend time with you, especially if it is time spent alone together. Watch and see if they’re really paying attention, even more than they would for a close friend. This is a huge sign that they may want to pursue a romantic relationship, and it also shows that they are more interested in you than others.
Watch how they interact with their friends. Then, compare that with how they act around you. If you notice that they give you more time, space, and attention, this could be a huge sign that they are interested in moving out of your friend zone and into your love life.
As time goes on and you have more and more conversations, do they mention things you’ve talked about before? Do they remember things that you said? Do they follow you and bring up your posts from social media? If so, these are all potential signs that they may have deeper feelings for you.
Does he like me or am I friend-zoned?
There are several signs a guy likes you as more than just a friend. Here are some of the obvious and subtle signs that he likes you and you’re not just in the friend zone:
- He’ll drop aspects of his own daily life to come and spend time with you – especially if it’s time that you’re spending alone together.
- He makes moves for small (and appropriate) physical contact while you’re talking, such as touching your hand or arm, removing lint from your clothing, or brushing your hair away from your face.
- He tells stories and makes jokes to get you to smile.
- He holds your gaze for a bit longer than he does with other people.
- He talks to his best friend about you, and you talk to your best friend about him.
- He doesn’t talk about his past love life or romantic partners, and he seems uncomfortable when you bring up the topic yourself.
- He prefers to talk about deeper topics and not just the weather; this shows that he finds you intellectually attractive.
- He likes all of your posts on social media, and he leaves kind comments on your photos.
All of these are signs he likes you as more than just a friend, and that he’s probably not just playing games.
How do you tell if a guy is hiding his feelings for you?
Whether you’ve just met a new guy or you’re thinking of a close male friend who’s been acting a bit strange lately, you might be scratching your head about his feelings for you.
If the person in question is a shy guy, it could take him a bit longer to open up. That’s why you should look for subtle signs that he’s interested in you as more than just a friend. For instance, if he’s constantly liking your posts on social media and maybe even going out of his way to mention them in conversation, then this could be a subtle sign that he’s into you.
Another one of the signs he likes you as more than a friend is if his body language gives it away. For instance, if he’s always leaning in when you speak or if he seems way more interested in you than in anyone else in the room, these are pretty clear indicators that he could be romantically interested in you.
Physiological signs, such as flushed cheeks, dilated pupils, and/or an increased body temperature, can also point to a romantic interest. All of these key indicators could be pointing to a guy hiding his true feelings about you.
How do you know if you are more than friends?
You might be more than friends if you feel a deeper connection, are affectionate in a way that feels romantic, or spend a lot of time thinking about each other. If you find yourself wanting more alone time and getting butterflies around you, it's likely more than friendship.
What is it called when you are more than friends but not dating?
When you're more than friends but not officially dating, people often call it a "situationship." It's when there are romantic feelings, but no official label has yet been put on the relationship.
What is considered more than friends?
More than friends typically means a deeper emotional or physical attraction beyond friendship. It involves flirting, extra attention, and a desire to be more physically or emotionally connected than you would be with just a friend.
How do you tell if a guy is into you?
If a guy is into you, he'll often make an effort to spend time with you, find excuses to touch you, make eye contact, and remember the little details you share. He'll be supportive and go out of his way to make you smile.
How do you tell if someone sees you as just a friend?
If someone sees you as just a friend, they'll keep conversations casual, avoid any romantic gestures, and talk about other people they might be interested in. They won't go out of their way to create one-on-one time that feels special or intimate.
What is it called when you are more than friends?
It's often called "more than friends" or sometimes a "friends with benefits" situation if it's a physical connection without a committed relationship. The term "situationship" also works if there's emotional involvement without formal dating.
How do you ask someone to be more than friends?
To ask someone to be more than friends, start by expressing how much you value their friendship and then let them know you have deeper feelings. You could say something like, "I've really enjoyed our time together, and I'm starting to feel like I want to be more than friends. How do you feel about that?"
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