From One Relationship To Another: Quotes About Boyfriend-Best Friend

Updated November 12, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Although much has been said about finding a partner for whom you feel passionate, increasing evidence reveals the importance of having a partner you are not necessarily head-over-heels passionate about but with whom you have a strong, close, and comfortable relationship. While it might not be quite as glamorous as many stories involving intense, passionate love, falling in love with your best friend could be one of the most effective ways to ensure your relationship will work long after the so-called honeymoon period has ended.

A boyfriend who is your best friend

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Are you confused about your relationship and where it’s going?

A boyfriend-best-friend combination can happen in either direction. For some, a close friend gradually moves into a boyfriend relationship, and for others, the spark of attraction turns out to be a friendship rather than a romantic connection. Either way, numerous surveys and studies have demonstrated that having a my-best-friend-is-my-boyfriend kind of relationship is a consistently powerful way to cultivate a strong, lasting, and respectful partnership.

Best friends make great partners, mainly because a best friend has something a romantic partner does not necessarily possess: unwavering support and sincere affection. Romantic partners can be wonderful, but much of the beginning of a romantic relationship involves some dishonesty; in a romantic relationship, both people typically try to maintain some mystique or are on their best behavior to impress their new significant other. Conversely, a best friend knows your flaws, knows that you understand their flaws, and can relax and spend time with you without the same amount of pressure and discomfort.

Shifting roles

The role of relationships in life can change for individuals and society over time. For example, one study found that people in relationships report their partner being their best friend at a rate of over 80%, a significant change from the 40% reported 30 years earlier. The difference could be due to several factors, the most notable being partners' ever-changing roles in relationships and marriages.

As people continue to value friendship more and seek the same closeness and intimacy in their romantic relationships that they experience in their friendships, the likelihood of calling their significant other their best friend increases. Though marital partners have long been mocked in society as a 'ball and chain,’ marriage relationships are currently viewed more positively. Both parties are more likely to see their partners not as an overlord or a burden but as a source of comfort, support, and love.

However, not all romantic relationships are now seen through this perspective; couples in about 10% of marriages report that having a mate who is their best friend is neither a priority nor a reality. In some parts of the world, people consider marriage primarily a contractual decision rather than one motivated by love or friendship. Even in many of these relationships, though, support is extremely important and can be how spouses evaluate their marriage.

Quotes for boyfriend - best friend relationships

On the beauty of these relationships

“Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Please make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times.” -N’tima Preusser.

As Preusser suggests, being with someone who supports and loves you unconditionally and makes you feel safe is integral to a long, successful romantic relationship. Conversely, a boyfriend who is not supportive, speaks poorly of you, or does not like to see you being free, silly, or playful is not likely to be someone who can genuinely support you in life.

“True love isn’t found; it’s built.” –Unknown.

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This particular quote, though its origin is unknown, encompasses all of the beautiful aspects of being best friends with your boyfriend: your relationship didn’t enjoy a quick burn at the beginning that might have petered out but is a long-standing relationship built on mutual love, support, respect, and care.

Quotes on why boyfriend-best friend relationships work

“I meant it when I said I didn’t believe in love at first sight. It takes time to really, truly fall for someone. Yet, I believe in a moment. A moment when you glimpse the truth within someone, and they glimpse the truth within you. At that moment, you don’t belong to yourself any longer, not completely. Part of you belongs to him; part of him belongs to you. After that, you can’t take it back, no matter how much you want to, no matter how hard you try.” -Claudia Gray, A Thousand Pieces of You

As Gray’s quote suggests, love takes time. Friendship can considerably speed that time, as the intimacy and bond that you create within a friendship can span decades, while romantic love often fades much sooner. The kind of love that forms within friendships is often stronger and deeper than the love within romantic relationships, mainly because friendships are usually more honest: in romance, you are often trying hard to impress your new flame, while friendship is often more about vulnerability and making yourself known. Although someone being a best friend is not necessary to cultivate a strong relationship, it can be a beautiful way to create a robust and lasting relationship with your partner.

Pitfalls of romantic relationship-friendships

Although many people argue that a boyfriend-best-friend relationship is a wonderful thing, there are some pitfalls associated with this arrangement. The most significant flaw in this type of relationship is the possibility of failure and the consequential loss of two relationships. If your romantic and friendly relationships are kept separate, and you break up with your partner, you have lost only your partnership. On the other hand, if your partner is your best friend and you break up, it can feel like you have lost two relationships rather than one, leaving a person feeling isolated and scared.

A boyfriend-best-friend relationship can also be problematic if one or both of you crave mystery and then find you have little of it between you. Many people see their best friend in the most unpleasant situations imaginable and know their every flaw and misstep. This kind of intimacy is valuable and cherished in the best-friend relationship. In a romantic relationship, one or both people might struggle to know intimately about past relationships, personal flaws, or personal hang-ups.

Should your romantic relationship also be a friendship?

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Are you confused about your relationship and where it’s going?

Ultimately, the choice is yours: whether you prefer having a romance separate from friendship or the prospect of a friendship-enriched romantic relationship makes you feel ecstatic, you ultimately get to decide your goals, preferences, wants and likes. If you enter into a dating relationship with a friend and then decide you prefer stronger boundaries between the two types of relationships, you can count it as a learning experience and move on to another relationship with boundaries more comfortable boundaries.  

Getting help with relationships

If you are currently in a boyfriend-best-friend relationship and struggle with any aspects of such a close, intimate union, your relationship could benefit from a session of couple’s counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your partner learn how to set better boundaries and develop communication and coping tools to keep your relationship on the right track. You and your partner could see a therapist in your town or try couples counseling online through an online therapy platform such as Regain.com, which offers counseling on your schedule from the comfort of your home, and at a price often cheaper than traditional therapy methods.

In one study of the effectiveness of online couples therapy, most participants reported that communicating with a therapist via videoconferencing was a beneficial and positive experience.

Takeaway

There are pros and cons to having a romantic relationship with your best friend. Whether or not this type of relationship is best for you is something each person must decide for themselves. If you are confused or concerned about your relationship, talking to a couple’s counselor individually or with your partner can shed new light on where you are and where you want to go.

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