Six Reasons To Stay Friends After Breaking Up

When you break up with your partner, you are sometimes losing a best friend. Many people believe it is best to separate from this person, but that is not always the case. There are situations in which you would want to get a clean break from the relationship, such as abuse or other unhealthy actions. However, if your split is mostly amicable and you feel it won't cause you harm to do so, you can remain friends with your ex.

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Just because you break up doesn’t mean you can’t remain friends

Redefine relationships in online therapy

The decision will ultimately be up to you. The choice to stay friends after breaking up could be one of the best decisions you could make. Here are some reasons you might decide to stay friends after breaking up:

You have children

When you bring kids into the mix, it complicates things. You have a responsibility to co-parent with your ex. While it might be argued that you can do this without being friends, it certainly makes it easier when you get along amicably.

Your first and foremost goal is likely to set a good example for your children. You can show them that adults can still respect each other when they decide to cut ties, and even work together. This is especially important because you are not only modeling a romantic relationship but a parenting relationship. The examples you set now are likely to determine how your children act in relationships in the future, so be mindful of your actions.

When your relationship with their other parent is good, much of the stress that comes with a split up can be relieved for the children. As a parent, that is your number one goal. Remember to keep that in mind, especially when it gets tough to stay friends after breaking up. The kids will benefit greatly if you do.

Your friendship is stronger than your romance

Sometimes, it is true that you and your ex are better off as friends. You gave it a shot and tried to be more than friends, but it didn't work out. This doesn't mean that you have to be strangers once again.

You and your ex may want to keep the friendship you have built over the time you've known one another. Just because you have a failed relationship doesn't mean the friendship it was built on is ruined. If you don't let the breakup affect your friendship, you can move in a more platonic manner.

To decide if this is right for you, think about the connection you feel. Maybe you enjoy spending time with this person, and you can rely on them, but the chemistry isn't there. You may struggle to be intimate with them but have no trouble at all enjoying one another's company or conversation. These would all be signs that your friendship is strong enough to stand the test of breakups.

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If you and your partner are both on the same page about wanting to stay friends after breaking up, then go for it! The relationships we have in our lives make up the fabric of our story. When you find someone who makes you happy when you are around them, you don't have to let that go. Good friends can be hard to find. The decision is yours to decide if you want to allow this person to be a friend or not. Remember that you can always change your mind, and so can the other person.

You work together

We spend so much time at work that it just makes sense that many people choose to date coworkers. Even though it is thought of as a bad decision, and some companies even have policies advising against doing so, that doesn't always stop the chemistry.

You may choose to stay friends after breaking up if you still must work together. This is usually a decision made to make life easier for both of you. If you can remain friends, you won't have to worry as much about awkward interactions or avoiding one another in the workplace. Additionally, your job may require you to work on certain projects together. It will be important to maintain a cordial and friendly relationship if you both hope to continue to be successful at work.

There is nothing wrong with continuing a friendship for professional purposes only. You can remain friends while on the clock and still refrain from spending time together or conversing after business hours. The job you have affects your life in many ways. When you spend so much time clocked in, there is no reason to put a damper on your day by harboring negative feelings toward an ex.

You want to remain friends

Many times, there is no specific reason that you choose to stay friends after breaking up. There might be several different reasons, or you may not be able to pin it down any further than you simply want to remain friends.

The romantic relationship you once had may not have stood the test of time, but that doesn't mean there weren't positive things about it. You have spent a portion of your lives together, and it is reasonable that you wouldn't want to give someone up that has meant so much to you. Perhaps your morals require that you maintain a relationship with someone that has had a positive impact on your life. You may also love this person dearly but not want to continue with a romantic relationship with them.

When you want to stay friends after breaking up, you don't need to stress about justifying that decision. If you both have the feeling that you want to remain friends, that is enough. Society often tells us that staying friends with a former lover isn't a good idea. The truth is, though, that only you can make that decision. Take inventory of your life with and without this person. If you are happier or more at peace with them in your life, you do not have to let them go.

You are in charge of the people you keep around you. They define much of what you are, whether you know it or not. There is no need to eliminate a relationship simply because you cannot define why you don't want to end it. When in doubt, trust your gut. It will almost always lead you in the right direction. Even if this ends up being the wrong choice, nothing stops you from cutting ties at some time in the future. Give yourself a break and do what you want. Life is short!

You live together

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Just because you break up doesn’t mean you can’t remain friends

Redefine relationships in online therapy

It isn't always as easy as breaking up and parting ways. If you and your partner have signed a lease together, you will probably need to fulfill those terms before you can get separate living spaces. You may choose to remain friends, at least for the time being, in favor of having a peaceful home life. Our home is often our sanctuary. There is no reason to muddy the waters in your personal life simply because a relationship didn't work out.

If you choose to go this route, it may be helpful to think of this person as a roommate instead of an ex. Acknowledge together that you have made a commitment that you are obligated to fulfill. You can talk to one another and find common ground regarding how the terms of your new relationship will take effect. Living together and being friends will be much easier and more economical than taking on expensive lease fees or finding new housing at the drop of a hat. If this is the best decision for you, don't hesitate to make this move.

You have more good memories than bad ones

Relationships do not always work out, but that doesn't mean they were all bad. You might find yourself in a situation where you have more good memories than bad ones.

Relationships entail spending a significant amount of time together. Throughout your relationship, you have probably made memories that can last a lifetime. Even if you have more good memories than bad ones, you may still decide to break up. That is not a reason to stop being friends, necessarily. You have been through so much together, and that is something that can bond a pair for life. If you do not want to let this person go, you do not have to.

Getting support after a break-up

It is totally understandable to feel confused, uncertain, and a host of other emotions after a break-up with someone you have dedicated significant time and energy toward getting to know and love. Remember that you can take as much time as you need to process your emotions and make important decisions when you feel you have the bandwidth to do so. Talking to friends and family can be helpful, and if you’re looking for a nonjudgmental party who can offer good advice or strategies for redefining a relationship, you can consider speaking with an online therapist.

When you use online therapy platforms like Regain, you can set appointments on your own terms, just as you may hope to define your relationship with your ex on your own terms. You can meet via videoconference or even text your therapist if you have a quick question knowing that you will be met with compassion and understanding. There is no need to sit on a traditional in-person therapist’s waitlist, either – with Regain, you can match quickly with a licensed online counselor and meet with them from any preferred location with a safe internet connection.

Many people have found success through working with an online counselor after a break-up, especially in situations where they are attempting to process symptoms of depression. In a 2020 study, researchers set out to determine the efficacy of an online intervention program – administered once weekly for eight weeks – in assisting females ages 20-25 who were experiencing low self-esteem and difficulty forgiving their ex following a breakup of a romantic relationship. The results of the study indicated that the online intervention, which utilized cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as a primary approach, was successful in helping the young adults improve their self-esteem and ability to forgive their ex-partners.

Takeaway

Breaking up doesn't always mean you don't have a chance at a friendship. If you are both on the same page and agree, you can remain friends after breaking up. If you need help deciding what is right for you, you might consider getting a professional opinion. No matter what you choose, as long as you keep your happiness and peace a top priority (and that of your children, should you tell them with your ex-partner), you can feel confident in moving forward with your redefined relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

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