12 Things To Ask Yourself When Finding Your Soulmate: Find The Perfect Match For You

Updated October 21, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Many people believe in a soulmate—a person with whom you have a deep, abiding connection. Finding a soulmate isn't easy, but it's something that can very much improve your life. After all, finding a soulmate can greatly add to the quality of your days and make you feel more, knowing that you are sharing your experiences with someone you are truly comfortable with. Partners who feel as though they are each other's soulmates will often be happier together and be more successful in their relationships with one another. Here are some specific ways that partners can determine if they are in a relationship with their soulmate—or not.

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  1. Do you feel comfortable with them?

Feeling comfortable with someone is an important aspect of finding a soulmate. After all, no one wants to spend the rest of their life with someone that they don't actually like to spend time around or feel comfortable talking to. Soulmates should feel comfortable sitting down together to talk about anything and everything, but they should also feel comfortable sitting in complete silence and doing their own thing. It's not about talking and constantly having things to say; it's about being able to be around that person and feel like you wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

  1. Do you feel confident sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with them?

Sharing your deepest and darkest thoughts and feelings is something that many think about doing with friends, but not necessarily with a partner. This kind of sharing is something that should happen between soulmates, however. Soulmates should feel encouraged to talk about the bad experiences in their lives and the bad things they remember, and they should feel like their partner still loves and supports them even though those things have happened. 

  1. Do you have the same ultimate life goals?

While soulmates can have different wants and needs in life, they should share the same ultimate goals. This may be having kids or not having kids. It may be staying in a specific hometown or moving out of the area. It could be traveling the world after retirement or relaxing at home. The specifics will be different for every couple, but they should have a high level of agreement—though it needn't be be 100% agreement. Maybe the couple decides to travel part of the time and stay home part of the time, and that's okay, as long as they're  on the same page about the plan.

  1. Do you feel confident about them being with others of the opposite sex?

Soulmates should be trusting and confident with their partners, which means also being confident in their partner around other people. It should be completely natural and comfortable for a partner to be around other people, even if that is a mixed group and includes members of the opposite sex. Both partners should trust one another and shouldn't allow jealousy to color their impression of people that their partner hangs out with.

  1. Do they take away your stress and concerns?

When spending time with a soulmate, each person should feel relaxed and calm. No matter what is going on in the outside world, both partners should feel like their stress and concerns melt away. This doesn't mean that there aren't problems that still affect either or both partners, but they should feel less stress or negative emotions simply by being around each other or walking into the same room.

  1. You may not agree on everything, but you respect your differences

Soulmates do not have to agree on everything. This is one thing that many people seem to mix up because they feel like they should automatically agree with absolutely everything their partner thinks and feels. That, however, is not actually the case. Soulmates can disagree, and they can disagree on many things, but they should always be respectful of their partner. They should always feel that their opinion matters, even if their partner disagrees about a specific issue.

  1. Do you feel like you know what they're thinking and feeling?

Soulmates may feel telepathic—like they know exactly what their partner is thinking. This can be because they know each other so well that they feel like they can hear what the other person is thinking. This can be true about positives and negatives, and it can be true even when the partner is not actually near them. They can tell what their partner would say in a specific situation. They know, instinctively, when something is wrong with their partner from their facial expressions, body language, or simple inflections when they are talking.

  1. Do they make everything feel right in your world?

A soulmate doesn't make everything better, but they can make it feel as though everything is better. In fact, they can make it feel like the entire world has turned around and the sun has come out even when things aren't going well. Just being around their soulmate can make a person feel better, and it can definitely improve their outlook on their life at the same time.

  1. Do you only ever want them to be happy?

Soulmates want each other to be happy, almost to the exclusion of anything else. They are willing to make sacrifices if it makes their partner feel better or makes them happy, and this is one reason that these couples work so well. Both partners are willing to give up things, and they will do so extensively if they need to. In fact, it can sometimes be difficult to make decisions together because both partners are willing to sacrifice for the other.

  1. Do you think about them even when you're not together?

Thinking about each other when they're not actually together is something that soulmates frequently do. This could be thinking about what a partner would think of a specific situation or thinking about how a partner would react to an event. The partners might think about something they want to get for each other because they see it and know their partner would want it.

  1. Do you still feel the same when you see them at their worst?

Soulmates are going to see each other at their worst, and there's no way around it. However, with true soulmates, even when both are angry or even when both are at their absolute worst, there is still the same level of love, trust, and affection there is when they are at their best. It is extraordinary how soulmates can fight and argue, but still feel a strong sense of love and affection for each other. The soulmates may want to be their best for each other, but they know that nothing will change if they aren't.

  1. Do you feel like they're the one?

A soulmate may simply feel like the right person. While this can seem a little strange to some, and while many people can think of it as being "hokey," it actually has some foundation in reality. When people meet their soulmate, and when the relationship starts to move forward, it becomes suddenly apparent. It's not a flash of light or a lot of sparks, but it's a feeling that is absolutely noticeable to both partners. It's something that both partners can feel, and it's something that makes both of them feel as though they are just in the right place and everything will be all right.

Getty/Vadym Pastukh
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Takeaway

Are you uncertain if you're ready for a soulmate relationship? Maybe you don't feel confident yet, or you don't feel emotionally ready to find that special someone. Maybe you feel like you've already found them. Still, you're not quite sure that it's really a "soulmate." Well, if you're curious about your relationship or you're struggling with how to turn a great relationship into a truly amazing one, you may want to reach out to a mental health professional. With a mental health professional, you'll get to know yourself even more, and you'll be able to prepare for the relationship you want.

One of the best ways to find a mental health professional to work with is to check out Regain. With Regain, you'll be able to connect with a counselor entirely online. You don't need ever to set foot in a therapist's brick-and-mortar office. Instead, you can log online from the comfort of your own home, or wherever you feel most comfortable, and connect with a licensed professional. 

Online therapy has been beneficial to many people in terms of keeping their relationships strong. There isn't always a good match with a therapist locally, but with the wide range of therapists working online, a good match is easier to locate. Many online therapists work with both individuals and couples, meaning you can work alone or with your partner—or both.

If you're interested in improving yourself or your relationships, consider reaching out to Regain to get matched to a licensed therapist. In no time, you may just figure out just how to have a soulmate be part of your life.

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