20 Ways To Tell Whether He’s Boyfriend Material

Do you have a new romantic interest in your life? Maybe someone you’ve just met or an old friend who has become a potential partner? If you’re thinking about entering into a relationship with a guy, it can help to know if you’re well suited to each other—and whether he's boyfriend material. In other words, whether he has the blend of qualities, behaviors, and personality that you look for in a boyfriend. To that end, we’ve gathered a list of 20 things to look for when you’re deciding whether a certain man in your life is the right person for you. 

20 signs he’s boyfriend material

In the romance book, "Boyfriend Material," the tangentially and reluctantly famous Luc O'Donnel and ethical vegetarian Oliver Blackwood develop a fake relationship only to develop real feelings for each other. While the tangentially and reluctantly famous Luc needs the relationship to repair his reputation, Oliver has never been in the spotlight. He's not even reluctantly famous. Yet, the two fall for each other. While the plot of this romance novel makes determining whether someone is the perfect boyfriend material seem easy, it's not always this straightforward and is often a personal choice based on your unique characteristics, attraction, and goals. However, there are many common indicators that a man will be committed, accepting, communicative, and attentive.

Below are 20 signs that the guy you’re eyeing is boyfriend material. 

A great first kiss

The first kiss often is one of the most important moments of a relationship. In fact, research suggests that a first kiss can help you determine whether someone is, indeed, relationship material. If that first kiss happens, and you feel a rush of excitement, this may be the first indication that you’re compatible. 

He lights up when he sees you

You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who has strong feelings for you and truly enjoys being around you. Does this man smile when he sees you? Does he always seem to be “on” around you? If he lights up when you are near him, this is a sign that he may be the one for you. 

He knows how to make you laugh

Many women find humor a desirable quality in a man. A funny guy can bring a special kind of joy into your life. Maybe he tells humorous stories or jokes. Perhaps he has a way of helping you see the lighter side of life. When you're with someone like that, being in a good mood may come naturally, which can be a fun and fulfilling way to experience a relationship.

He shows respect to others

A guy who treats friends, family members, or strangers well may be showing you how he will treat you as the relationship progresses. Look for someone who shows respect, not only to the people he hangs out with but also to other people he encounters in his life. This can look like giving up his bus seat to an elderly person, being kind to servers, or speaking to his parents in a deferential way. 

He's an empathetic listener

Communication is key in relationships. A man who is boyfriend material will likely listen carefully, without interrupting, to understand exactly what you're going through. What's more, he'll show empathy when he responds to you. If he also utilizes the knowledge you’ve provided him and acts on it in a helpful way, even better.

He delights in your success

If you’ve aced your finals, received a promotion at work, or won a big game, does this guy get excited too? A man who is happy about your successes, and not threatened or jealous, could be a keeper.

He encourages you during hard times

Just as it’s nice to have a man who is happy for you when you’re doing well, it can also be important to have a guy who stands by your side through life challenges. Knowing that a man will be there for you when you’re feeling overwhelmed or are having a hard time can be important as you consider a potential relationship. 

He respects your time

A man who cares about you should want to avoid wasting your time. Not respecting your time may be a sign that a guy will not respect other aspects of your life. If a man is punctual, makes plans well ahead of time, and avoids canceling, he may the one for you. 

He prioritizes you

Does it seem like this guy always puts you ahead of other people and activities? If you’re important to him now, this is a good indicator that you will stay that way in a future relationship. Prioritizing you is a sign that a guy can compartmentalize his life, and it also shows that he values you highly. 

He is kind and loving

A guy who is naturally compassionate, attentive, and affectionate is probably made of high-quality boyfriend material. Does the man you’re interested in frequently show you that he’s a thoughtful, considerate person? Maybe he says sweet things to you randomly or brings you your favorite meal without you asking? These behaviors often exist in healthy relationships. 

He's a calming influence

The ability to remain self-assured and at ease when under pressure can be a desirable quality in a man. It can make you feel more relaxed and ready to manage challenges when you’re with a man who, even when times are tough, stays calm. 

You feel good about yourself when you're with him

A good guy for you is one who inspires you to accept and celebrate yourself. If you feel beautiful, intelligent, excited, and valued when you're around him, it may be time to take the next step. With the right boyfriend, you'll feel emotionally strong and happy with who you are.

You want to introduce him to your family

Taking a guy to meet your family for the first time can be an uncomfortable situation that not everyone is eager to jump into. So if you are actually excited to introduce a guy to your family, you may feel closer to him than you realize. You may want to show your family how compatible the two of you are or how great of a person he is. 

He's willing to compromise

When considering a future partnership, it can help to think about what happens in situations when you disagree with this guy. Does he demand you do things his way? Or does he offer to compromise so that you can both get what you want? His willingness to find a middle ground between the two of you can help foster a healthy relationship. 

You can rely on him 

When you think about someone who is boyfriend material, you’re likely thinking about a man who is dependable, trustworthy, and ready to help you when you need him. Knowing that you can rely on a guy to assist you when necessary is heartening. So, if this guy works hard to avoid letting you down, he may be a keeper.

He's honest 

A forthright attitude is often a strong indicator that a man will be a good partner. If a guy admits to his mistakes, tells you how he truly feels and avoids sending you mixed signals before he’s your boyfriend, he will likely do the same when he’s in a relationship with you. 

You can be yourself around him

A great boyfriend gives you the emotional space to feel comfortable being your authentic self. It can be hard to build a healthy relationship if you're frequently worried about hiding your habits, appearance, or personality. Look for a guy who wants to know and interact with you just the way you are.

He shares your values

You can't expect to agree with another person on everything, but sharing some values can help serve as a base of a strong relationship. For example, do you both think that volunteering is important? Are you both religious? Agreeing on some important points can suggest compatibility. 

Your goals are aligned

Even if two people are well-matched in many regards, it can be hard to develop a good relationship if their goals aren't compatible. For example, do you want to travel the world, but a potential partner wants to settle down and start a family? If you and the guy you’re eyeing have diverging goals, this can be a deal-breaker. 

You can imagine a future with him

While it's beautiful to live your life in the present moment, it also makes sense to consider what's coming next. Take a moment to imagine what your life will be like a few years from now. If you see a future where you can be happy with this person, he might be boyfriend material.

Understanding compatibility with online therapy

Studies show that online therapy can help individuals feel more assured when it comes to the future of their relationship. For example, in a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, researchers found that online therapy helped significantly enhance relationship confidence. The study also discusses the ability of online therapy to bridge the treatment gap that often exists with couples therapy, given that online platforms are often considered more accessible, affordable, and convenient options. 

As you're thinking about recognizing a guy with boyfriend potential, you may discover that you aren't quite sure what you want in a relationship or what a perfect boyfriend looks like to you. One way to pinpoint the qualities that will make a guy well suited to you is to talk to a relationship expert. With online therapy through Regain, you can chat with a therapist about the qualities that make a partner right for you remotely, through video call, voice call, or in-app messaging. Online therapy is also an affordable option—Regain memberships start at $65 per week (billed every 4 weeks), so you can save money for dates that may help you determine whether a guy is, in fact, boyfriend material. 

Takeaway

It’s not always easy to determine whether a man you’re interested in will be right for you. But, by using the above indicators, along with your own instincts, you could develop a better idea of how well suited you and a certain guy are. If you’d like to learn more about your relationship, compatibility, or other potential areas of concern, consider connecting with a licensed therapist online. You deserve to be with someone who is made of the same strong relationship material as you are.