Five Good Qualities In A Man To Look For Before Dating

When you are dating, it can be fun and exciting to meet new people. However, sometimes dates don't go well, or you might realize soon after meeting someone that you two wouldn’t actually be a great match. This can be frustrating, so it may be helpful to spend some time before dating giving some thought to what you’re really looking for in a man, or what qualifies a “good man” in your estimation. Talking to someone and getting to know them before dating can help you both decide if it might be worth your time. Everyone can have different preferences and qualities of a good person that are important to them, but here, we’ll explore a few common qualities that you may consider looking for in a partner before dating.

Five qualities to consider looking for

Different people value different things in a partner, so before you look for the qualities below, you may want to do some self-reflection to see if you truly value the qualities mentioned. You may not value some of the qualities below, and you may value other qualities not listed here much more. The ones below are simply common possible qualities to consider as you reflect on what matters most to you. 

He is respectful

Respect is often one of the most important qualities for any person in your life. It can be important to make sure your date not only respects you but himself and others as well. One way to see if someone respects you is to communicate your boundaries and then see if they respect the boundaries you set for them. You can also look out for how they treat you, themselves, and others. If you find a very kind, respectful, and courteous man towards you, you may have found a great potential person to have a relationship with. Superficial things such as looks can change over time; what is often far more important for the health and success of your relationship long-term is the way you two treat each other. If he isn't respectful to you or the people around him, you may want to keep looking.

He is emotionally available

Have you ever met someone willing to go on dates with people, but they are not emotionally available? Whether it is a defensive mechanism or general disinterest in having a romantic partner, you may meet some emotionally unavailable while dating, so it can be valuable to consider whether the person you meet seems to be emotionally available. For instance, does he express how he is feeling? Does he seem interested in connecting to you emotionally? Does he seem ready to connect on a deeper level? Does he seem receptive to you expressing your emotions? These can be very important things in a relationship. Especially in romantic relationships, being willing and able to feel, manage, and express your feelings is often key for the relationship to grow and flourish. 

He is hardworking 

Many people prefer partners who have a strong work ethic. This can include areas of career, household responsibilities, chores, family life, and more. Being in a serious relationship with someone is like being teammates. Many people want a partner that will help take some responsibility and be a valuable part of the team. As you get to know someone, you might to assess this by paying attention to how they talk and speak about different responsibilities, commitments, goals, and dreams. 

He reflects your values

Core values can be very important in a romantic relationship. While you and your partner don’t have to agree on everything, you may want to consider if there are certain areas where you really value being in alignment. For instance, if religion is very important to you, and you want to raise any future children in that religion, is this person on the same page with that? Or, perhaps you really want kids someday, and that is a non-negotiable for you. In that case, is that something he feels the same about? Assessing these values and priorities early on can help you determine if you two might be a good match. Try to evaluate your own values before beginning to date. This way, you can have a better sense of what to look for in your future partner.

He has excellent communication skills

Communication skills can be incredibly important in every type of relationship. Dating someone who can express their wants, needs, and expectations and who can hear yours will likely be very helpful throughout the relationship. Additionally, having good communication skills can be useful during times of conflict. It can be difficult seeing how someone responds to conflict in the beginning stages of dating, but you will likely be able to pick up if a man is communicative and expresses himself well. You can also see if he listens to you when you talk or talks over you to tell you his opinion. You might see if his sense of humor lines up with yours, which can help with communication by letting you know when issues aren’t so serious or when he’s trying to cheer you up.

Improve communication in your relationship with professional support

Learning how to communicate with each other effectively can be difficult. If you would like support in this process, an online relationship counselor can help. Research has shown online relationship interventions to be effective for concerns including communication. 

But, finding time for therapy can often be difficult, especially if you are trying to coordinate multiple busy schedules. With online therapy, you and your partner can meet with a therapist virtually from wherever you have internet, so you don’t have to worry about a commute, which may make it easier to make time for. 

Takeaway

Before you start dating, you may want to do some reflecting and self-evaluation to determine what qualities you want in a future romantic partner. The five qualities above are not the only good qualities in a man to look for, and they may not align with your unique preferences, as everyone wants different things. If you’d like support with these and other relationship concerns, an online therapist can help.