Recognizing The Signs He Wants You To Be His Girlfriend

How do you know when a guy wants you to be his girlfriend? Many men show signs that may indicate they are ready for a relationship with you. Read on to learn more about recognizing when a man wants something more than casual and how working with a therapist can help you develop communication skills. 

Where is your relationship going?

It’s natural to want to know where the relationship is going when you’ve been dating a guy—or if what you have would even qualify. Before you ask him outright and risk an awkward or disappointing conversation, look for signs that he wants to make you his girlfriend. 

“Given the costs of failed relationships (e.g., personal distress, problems with work, lower well-being for children, lost opportunities to meet other partners), it is important to consider how individuals are approaching these decisions.” — Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy

Signs he wants you to be his girlfriend

If you’re wondering whether the guy you’ve been seeing wants to make it official, check out some of these tips to give you an idea of what he may be thinking about a potential relationship. 

He stays close to you when you’re together

When you’re together, if he stays physically close to you and frequently makes non-sexual physical contact, he may be interested in making your connection more official. At the beginning of a relationship, the brain releases the neurochemical oxytocin when close to the object of affection, which causes pleasant feelings and inspires an increased desire to be around them more. Oxytocin stimulates the brain’s reward system in men, sometimes increasing the reaction they experience and making them crave more. 

Intimate encounters have feeling behind them

Intimate contact can feel different when there are emotions behind the physical connection. From a simple kiss to sexual contact, if your encounters with him carry a more significant emotional weight lately, it could mean he’s feeling emotions that make him want to take the next step. 

He does things for you “just because”

If the man you’ve been seeing frequently does things for you, such as bringing you coffee or helping you change a flat tire, “just because” he wanted to, it could indicate that he is interested in making you his girlfriend. It shows he’s thinking of you and wants to care for your well-being. 

Public displays of affection like hand holding

Holding your hand in public means he is comfortable with everyone around you recognizing that you’re together, which could indicate he would like you to be his girlfriend and wants other men to know you're unavailable.

It feels like a healthy relationship

Sometimes, you can feel when a relationship is good for both partners. If you’ve been seeing a guy and it has gradually grown more serious as you both develop feelings and make adjustments to include each other in your lives, there’s a good chance he wants you to be his girlfriend. 

He makes room for you at his place

If the guy you’re seeing makes a space for you to store some of your things at his house because you’ve been staying there more often, it could mean he values having you in his home and wants you to feel comfortable—and wants you to be there more often. 

He’s told his friends about you and includes you when socializing

One of the biggest indications that he wants to make you a more permanent fixture in his life is telling his friends about you and including you when he socializes with them. The opinions of his friends likely matter a great deal to him, and introducing you to his friends could mean he wants them to like you before he asks you to be his girlfriend. 

“It’s common when you’re in a new relationship and really excited about someone you met to want to tell the world. But what happens when rather than proudly telling everyone on social media about your new date, your partner hides you?” — Psychologist Mary Jo Rapini, Fox 26 Houston

He’s stopped dating other women

If you met him online or on a dating site and noticed his profile is no longer active, he may have stopped dating other women. This behavior could indicate that he’s interested in officially making you his girlfriend. 

He uses the word “we”

Studies show that when a man is invested in forming a relationship with a woman, he is more likely to use the word “we” to refer to the two of you more often than “you” or “I.” It could indicate that he thinks of you as a couple and shapes his thoughts and actions while considering how it affects you. 

He tells you about his day

When something happens to him, if you're the first person he wants to talk to, it could indicate that you're on his mind, and he wants you to know how he’s doing. Making a point to communicate with you, even about the little things, could mean he wants you to be a bigger part of his life. 

He shares his thoughts and feelings

Many men have a hard time sharing their thoughts and feelings until they’ve formed enough of an emotional connection to feel safe trusting you. If you’ve been dating a guy who feels comfortable enough to share what he’s thinking and how he feels, he may be ready to make your relationship official. 

He doesn’t hesitate to apologize

If he doesn’t hesitate to apologize after you’ve had an argument or disagreement, he’s likely worried about your feelings and wants you to know that he cares whether the two of you are on good terms. 

He makes you a priority

A man who shifts things around to make you a priority in his life is likely one who is interested in making you an official part of it. When a guy wants to make you his girlfriend, he will likely choose to spend time with you over other options.

He dedicates a substantial portion of his time to you

If you see and talk to him every day, he is likely manipulating his schedule to make it happen because he wants you in his life. When a man puts spending time with you at the top of his to-do list, he probably wants you to be his girlfriend. 

He wants to introduce you to his family

Men talking about their parents’ happy marriage may feel comfortable letting you know they are considering a long-term relationship. When a man wants to introduce you to his family, there’s a good chance he’s ready to take the next step and make the relationship official. Meeting his parents and other family members is generally considered a big step in the dating process, so it’s a good indicator that he is ready to make a commitment. 

Signs he’s not interested in a relationship

• The connection between you feels exhausting rather than energizing.
• You’re always the one who has to apologize. 
• You lack a real, meaningful emotional connection or intimacy. 
• He never sacrifices anything important to him for your sake. 
• He doesn't answer your messages promptly or only gives short answers. 
• You don’t see or speak to each other very often.
• You’re always the one reaching out to him. 

Reach out for support

If you’re having trouble assessing whether a guy wants a relationship with you, you may need to develop your communication skills. You could benefit from the support and guidance of a mental health professional. 

If you struggle to connect with men and accurately judge when he wants a relationship, consider working with a licensed therapist online through a relationship-focused virtual therapy platform like Regain. Parents or guardians seeking online therapy for kids from 12 to 19 can contact TeenCounseling. Therapy can help develop communication skills, recognize and communicate emotional needs, and find practical coping skills to help you manage stress, making finding a healthy relationship easier. 

Researchers at the American Psychological Association released data showing that online and face-to-face therapy offer similar results. Patients frequently listed the benefits of online therapy as including lower costs and shorter wait times, along with an easier time sharing personal information with the therapist while physically separated and the ability to participate more reliably due to the convenience of attending from home. 

Takeaway 

You can set better expectations for developing relationships when you have an idea of how he feels about you. Beyond asking him, which can lead to an awkward conversation, it can help to recognize the signs he wants to make you his girlfriend. The information in this article may offer insight into when a guy is ready to make the relationship official and how therapy can teach you practical communication skills.