Seven Tips For Dating A Dominant Girlfriend

Updated October 13, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

While society often associates dominance with male behavior, modern relationships don’t necessarily maintain the dynamic in which a male partner is the dominant one. Some people prefer to date women who take charge. There are even those who like to submit sexually to women in their lives. This might not be seen as typical behavior in society, but that doesn’t mean that these relationships can’t be satisfying for those who choose them. If you have just started dating a dominant girlfriend, then you might be concerned about how things are going to go. To get the most out of the relationship, it’s going to be important to approach things with the right mindset.

Take a look at the following seven tips for dating a dominant girlfriend. They should help you to get the most out of your new relationship. Being a submissive person doesn’t necessarily make you a weak person, nor does it mean that your girlfriend has to take on all the responsibility in the relationship. The advice below should make it easier for you to feel comfortable in this relationship role. As long as you’re comfortable with how things are, your relationship will have the potential to flourish.

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Considering a dominant/submissive relationship?

Make sure that this is what you want

Before moving forward with this type of relationship, it’s going to be appropriate to search your feelings. Having a dominant girlfriend might sound good on paper, but is this really what you want? If you have never submitted to someone sexually before, then you might want to take the time to see if you are a submissive type. Being sexually submissive to another person isn’t necessarily easy. It isn’t all about just having someone take the lead a bit in the bedroom.

Entering a dominant relationship with another person is going to be a completely new dynamic for you. It can make you feel a bit funny to submit to a woman. This doesn’t mean that you’re making a bad decision, though. Some people find situations like this to be very arousing and fulfilling. If your girlfriend loves you and is committed to being a good partner for you, then you could have a great relationship. You want to make sure that you aren’t rushing into something for which you aren’t truly prepared.

Set up guidelines

Setting up guidelines is also very important when you’re going to be submitting to someone sexually. Your girlfriend might be taking charge in the bedroom, and she might expect certain things of you. Even so, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a will of your own. You have the right to turn down sex acts, and no one can force you to do things against your will. If there are certain things that you aren’t comfortable doing or things that you aren’t comfortable having her do to you, then you’ll want to speak up about that.

A respectful dominant woman is going to take the time to go over your guidelines and rules before entering this type of relationship. She should want you to feel safe and cared for when submitting to her. Even if things do get harsh sometimes, she will be caring about your well-being deep-down. It is imperative that you think things through and that you communicate your preferences to her. She will be willing to discuss everything with you, and the relationship should be better off once you have had this conversation.

Let her guide you in the bedroom

Generally, dating a dominant girl is about letting her take charge in the bedroom. She is going to want to take the lead, and she is going to be calling the shots on what gets to happen. This can be frustrating for a submissive person who is new to the scene. They might desperately want to have sex, but their dominant girlfriend might be denying them a release. This is the type of relationship that you signed up for, though. These relationships are about the powerplay dynamic. Your girlfriend might try to delay your pleasure, or she might even choose to punish you if you do not follow her orders or guidance in the bedroom.

If you want a relationship like this to succeed, then you are going to have to submit to her properly. You’re likely going to enjoy this relationship more if you’re willing to play your role. Be her submissive and trust that she is going to treat you right if you do what you’re supposed to do. Just remember that you don’t have to do things that make you uncomfortable and that she should never try to force you into things that you said weren’t on the table.

Know that sexual dominance doesn’t have to transfer into other parts of life

Being dominant sexually is something that is usually going to stay in the bedroom. This isn’t something that has to come into play during your everyday lives. It also isn’t something that you necessarily need to advertise to the world. Being a part of a D/s (dominant/submissive) relationship doesn’t mean that you’re going to be wearing kinky collars out in public and acting as a pet 24/7. In everyday life, things are likely going to be likely unchanged. You’re going to interact with people like most other couples, and you’re going to save those sexual feelings for the bedroom.

There are couples that take things further than this, though. Some couples that have a D/s dynamic will have the dominant person of the relationship take charge in all ways. This can include making financial decisions and other major life decisions. Typically, this isn’t going to be a good idea. If you aren’t married to this girl, then it’s perhaps best just to let her play that dominant role in the bedroom. You want to be able to maintain your independence and stability in other aspects of your life.

Maintain your voice

You must try not to lose your voice once you get deep into your submissive relationship. Some men start to sink into the background when they become too submissive to a woman. This isn’t necessarily healthy, and you don’t want to be someone who goes with the flow all the time. You’re still a person, and you still have a say in what goes on in your life. Speak up when it is necessary to do so, and it will be better for your relationship in the long run.

Your dominant girlfriend needs a reliable partner who will look out for her best interests. Being submissive isn’t about being a yes person for her. You might need to speak up sometimes, and it is perfectly acceptable to have a backbone. Don’t let your voice get drowned out due to how loud and dominating her presence can be. Make a conscious effort to speak up outside of the bedroom when you feel you have something to say.

Understand that she might take charge with plans

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Your girlfriend might wind up taking charge of making plans on a regular basis. Even if you don’t want her to be dominant in all aspects of the relationship, it’s going to be hard for her to turn that dominant streak off. This is likely the way that she is, and she is always going to be more of a planner. You might have to assert yourself a little bit to get her to divvy up certain tasks and responsibilities. Just remember that you do have a say in the relationship and that you do not have to cower or back down just because she is dominant in the bedroom.

Maintain your independence 

Maintaining your independence in some ways is going to be healthy for you. Many submissive individuals wind up getting too reliant on their dominant. To avoid this, you should try to have a good life outside of your relationship. For example, you should have hobbies that you enjoy and friends that you spend time with. This can help to give you perspective, and it keeps that part of your life separate from other things that matter to you. When you have a life with varied interests, it makes it less likely that you will lose yourself by becoming more submissive to your girlfriend.

Speak to an online couples therapist if you need help

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Considering a dominant/submissive relationship?

You might decide that you will need a little bit of help to make this new relationship work. If you and your dominant girlfriend love each other and want to make things work, then going to online couples therapy can make a difference. This is a discreet way to get help that is convenient for you to use. You can reach out to a counselor whenever you have the time, and you don’t even have to leave the house. This gives you a chance to work on strengthening your relationship, and you’ll have a nonjudgmental professional to guide you down the right path. 

Online therapy has shown effectiveness in assisting individuals and couples with a host of relationship challenges. A recent study demonstrated how online videoconferencing sessions were just as effective in assisting 30 diverse couples with relationship satisfaction as in-person interventions. If you’re interested in learning about other people’s experiences with online therapy, read some of the reviews of Regain counselors below.

Counselor reviews

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”

Takeaway

Entering into a D/s relationship can be an exciting, and sometimes apprehensive time. Just as many couples seek pre-marital counseling before they get married, others might find it helpful to attend therapy sessions for entering this new relationship dynamic in which one person asserts dominance over the other, in various capacities. A caring, knowledgeable online therapist at Regain can ask you and your partner questions to get you thinking about guidelines, boundaries, and other ways to keep your relationship healthy and make sure each person is able to maintain their individual identity. Take the first step in feeling more empowered within a dominant/submissive relationship by reaching out to a Regain therapist today.

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