Eight Tips When Dating A Dominant Man

Do you tend to want to date the stereotypical “bad boy?” Or do you find that you like dating a strong man that takes control? You aren’t alone. As you’ll soon discover, this is common. However, some challenges can come with dating a dominant man. The tips below can help. 

Why you like to be with a dominant man

You may not have realized that you were with a dominant male when you first started dating, but there’s a good chance that you did. Dominant males are often leaders in relationships and life. They tend to be the go-getters that have business success. They give off natural confidence that seems to demand attention.

You’ve probably heard about the common attraction to the “bad boy”. This may be a similar phenomenon. While the reasons might not all be the same, many people are attracted to dominant males. It may seem exciting at the start of a relationship, but it can also lead to challenges over time.

Challenges in dating a dominant male

All relationships have trials, but when you’re dating a dominant male, you may experience some unique challenges. His desire to have a leadership role in the relationship can make you feel like you’re taking the backseat. Your opinions may not be as valued, and you may find that you cannot make decisions in the relationship.

Dominant men also tend to be more aggressive. While this can be something that some individuals are drawn to, it can also be a sign of a larger problem. Specifically, it could lead to an abusive relationship or the man being too sexually aggressive for what his partner prefers.

Tips for dating dominant males

Dating a dominant male doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a failed relationship. There are plenty of dominant men out there that may make great partners.

Here are some tips to help you when you’re in a relationship with a dominant male.

Find the balance

It might be in his personality to be dominant, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat. While dominant individuals are often attracted to those who follow their lead, they may also have a healthy respect for those willing to stand up to them when necessary.

Just because your partner has a dominant personality doesn’t mean that you can’t have a little stubbornness and determination as well. In fact, you will probably need it when dealing with your man from time to time. There needs to be a healthy give and take in a relationship. Sometimes, dominant individuals will continue to take until you stand up for yourself.

Don’t put up with being mistreated

Someone can have a strong personality and still be respectful. If your man is mistreating you in any way, it’s time to have a serious conversation with him or get out of the relationship. Make sure that you know the signs of abuse, including verbal and emotional abuse. Abuse is never acceptable. So, don’t put up with it, and don’t let your man get away with using the excuse that “it’s just his personality”. There is no acceptable excuse for abuse of any kind.

Be a safe place

Your man might have a dominant personality and seem like he can conquer the world, but even he needs a place where he can let loose and be himself—a place where it’s okay to be emotional or to feel a little vulnerable. You can be that place for your man.

Ensure that you aren’t judgmental of him when he is going through something and needs some support. Let him know that you believe in him. Dominant personalities can have a harder time being vulnerable with others. If he tries it once and you don’t create that space for him, he might be leery of opening up to you again in the future.

Establish your boundaries

When you are dating a dominant male, you may need to remember that it’s in his nature to lead. This can be something that you enjoy when dating him, but he needs to know when he is crossing the line or going too far. That’s why it’s helpful to establish boundaries. Make sure you know where your limits are and how you want to be treated. Then, communicate these boundaries clearly.

Let him know what you are and aren’t okay with. If he crosses your boundaries, make sure that you stick firm to what you set in place. If you allow him to continually cross your boundaries, you may be teaching him that he doesn’t need to respect them. 

Don’t put him down in front of others

This tip goes for dating anyone, not just a dominant male. Do not put him down or poke fun at him in front of his friends, coworkers, family, or even an acquaintance. Your job as his partner is to build him up, not cut him down.

It can be easy to think that people with dominant personalities don’t get their feelings hurt because they have natural confidence. Still, many of them can experience imposter syndrome as well. Like others, they can have feelings of insecurity or inferiority. If you highlight this fact in front of others, it can be a huge blow to their self-esteem. If you feel the need to correct him about something, consider doing it where others can’t hear.

Be upfront with communication

People with dominant personalities don’t usually want to play games when it comes to communication. They may not want to have to figure out the hidden meaning behind what you’re saying. So, say what you mean.

If you do try to say something with a hidden message, dominant men may not even pick up on it because they might operate on the idea of “saying it like it is”.  If you aren’t communicating the same way, he may not pick up on your signals.

Consider going with the flow

Dominant men, or alpha males, don’t just like to be in charge; it could just naturally be a part of who they are. They may not have to try to step into the leadership role. It might just seem to happen when they are a part of the group. This is often how their relationships work out as well. If you aren’t a go-with-the-flow type of person, this can be difficult for you. A relationship with two dominant people might prove to be a challenge. 

Can a dominant person be with another one?

Some people are dominant, and others are more passive. When you’re face to face with a person who suits your personality, you can often feel it. Preferring dominant personality traits is subjective. Some people prefer to be submissive in relationships, while others are more assertive. 

You could prefer dominant partners because you find their behavior sexy and appealing. In any case, it could be crucial to get what you need out of a romantic partner. Personal relationships are just that – individualized connections. The thrill of loving a dominant individual can feel like a fairy tale. If you’re a dominant person, then you may prefer to be with a romantic partner who is submissive, or maybe you want to be with someone who is also a dominant individual. 

Many individuals prefer to be with a dominant male because they can match their intensity. Dominance can come across as confidence. If you are an assertive person, you may present as forceful and dominant. Both men and women can come across this way. If you’re an assertive type of person and don’t mind being around someone who is the same way, you could be happy with a dominant individual. A dominant partner could make you feel empowered and more confident in your extroverted nature. Sometimes people who know what they want can inspire each other. 

Dominance versus abuse

Everyone has unique needs in a relationship. It’s crucial to ask yourself why you want to be with a dominant individual. There are healthy reasons to want to be with an assertive mate, and then there are toxic ones. Preferring a dominant individual could mean that there’s something unresolved in your history. You could be seeking out this trait because it’s what you know. If you were with a dominant individual who abused you, that could be familiar, but not healthy for you. A mental health professional such as a counselor or therapist can help you resolve these issues as well as any others that could be affecting your relationships. 

Benefits of online counseling

If you’re dating a dominant man, it could be hard to find time to see a therapist in person. You may be trying to spend as much time as possible with him to determine if the relationship is right for you, for instance. Online therapy could be a good option since it can be accessed conveniently from your home. You can also save time seeing an online counselor since you won’t have to commute to a therapist’s office or endure a long stint in the waiting room. 

Online therapy is a legitimate form of therapy for both couples and individuals. A meta-analysis of studies showed no significant differences between online therapy and in-person therapy in terms of outcomes. The review analyzed nearly 10,000 participants experiencing various mental health conditions and challenges. 

Counselor reviews

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”

Takeaway

Dating a dominant male might be exactly what you want for a short time, but you might realize that it’s not a good fit for you in the long term. That’s okay, but you might need to be straightforward about it. If you know the relationship isn’t right for you, then don’t waste your time or his by continuing to date. In the end, you need to do what’s best for you. In the meantime, don’t hesitate to reach out to Regain for relationship advice and support.