Knowing Yourself Can Improve Your Relationships: Five Key Questions To Ask

Updated October 29, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

When you’ve been with someone for a long time, it can sometimes be difficult to view your relationship objectively.

Challenges in long-term relationships

As your lives together develop and you and your partner fall into patterns, you may not pay as much attention to the strength of your relationship as you did when you first started dating.

Why knowing yourself can improve your relationships

However, having a strong, healthy dynamic is just as important later on in a relationship as it is in the beginning. Understanding yourself better can play an important role in this process. In today’s article, we will discuss five thought-provoking questions you can ask yourself at any time to gauge the strength of your relationship, as well as how therapy can help you explore them in more detail.

Have questions about your relationship?

Questions to ask yourself as you strengthen your relationship

A healthy relationship has multiple components, typically including trust, alignment on goals, and the ability to be yourself, among others. In order to ensure your relationship is as strong as it can be, it can be worth taking a moment to reflect on how it stands now. This can give you valuable insight into what areas to work on. 

Assessing the strength of your relationship

To assess the strength of your relationship, consider the following five thought-provoking questions:

Do my partner and I want the same things?

Making sure you and your partner are in alignment around expectations can be beneficial to the health and longevity of your relationship. Topics such as marriage, the pace of the relationship, whether or not you want to have children, and where you want to live can all be important things to consider, but these big decisions are just one part of the equation. You might also want to reflect on whether you and your partner agree on things like finances, housework, travel, and other aspects of your day-to-day lives together. Misaligned expectations may be a sign that you need to sit down and talk about what you both want out of your relationship and, if necessary, work to strengthen your communication skills.

Does my partner support my short- and long-term goals?

When it comes to improving the strength of a relationship, it is often important for couples to keep tabs on their goals, both in the near-term and the distant future. From career aspirations to hobbies, passions, and sports, making sure your partner supports you in achieving your life goals can be incredibly important. Consider taking stock of what both you and your partner want out of life—and, by extension, your lives together. Do you feel that you can depend on your partner to be there for you as you pursue your goals? If not, a discussion about how you can best support one another might be beneficial.

Can I be myself with my partner?

The ability to be yourself when you’re around your partner is a key component of many relationships, and it may be worth considering if you’re seeking to strengthen your dynamic with your partner. Although it can be natural to want to show your partner the best version of yourself at the beginning of your relationship, it’s worth asking yourself whether you can act authentically around them as your relationship evolves. Do you feel safe to show them your flaws, or do you find yourself afraid to let your guard down around them? Are there any sides of yourself that you aren’t comfortable with your partner seeing? If so, why? These are all questions to explore as you reflect on your relationship, and they can give you important insight into whether you truly feel at ease with your partner. 

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How is our communication? 

When it comes to the strength of your relationship, another important aspect to consider is your ability to communicate your needs in a constructive, healthy way. The research backs this up, with studies finding associations between healthy communication and relationship satisfaction. Take a moment to reflect on whether you feel comfortable telling your partner what’s on your mind and bringing challenges to their attention when you need to. How do you manage disagreement? Are you able to actively listen, or do you find yourselves interrupting or berating one another? Taking a step back to consider the ways you and your partner interact can be helpful for understanding the health of your communication—which may be directly tied to the health of your relationship.

Do I trust my partner, and does my partner trust me?

Trust is often the foundation of a healthy relationship, providing a sense of safety, loyalty, and openness—all of which can allow you and your partner to be your most authentic selves with one another. Trust between partners can allow them to open up to each other, show vulnerability, and more easily weather challenges in the relationship. Needless to say, this can contribute to the strength of the relationship. When exploring trust in your own relationship, consider whether you can honestly share your emotions and conflicts with your partner, feel secure around them, and live your lives together free from suspicion or fear of judgment. 

Exploring your relationship through therapy

Keep in mind that the above thought-provoking questions are only meant to get you thinking about your relationship. Although these criteria are typically considered ideal for a healthy relationship, there are ways to strengthen your relationship, even if not all of these questions necessarily apply to you. By communicating with your partner and taking the steps to foster a healthy dynamic, you can ensure the health of your relationship long into the future. 

Benefits of couples therapy for a stronger relationship

One of the best methods for doing this is through work with a therapist. A licensed relationship counselor can help you explore your goals and develop authenticity, trust, and communication with your partner while addressing any concerns you may have.

Developing authenticity, trust, and communication

Through the use of a personalized treatment plan, couples therapy can allow couples to develop lasting strategies for strengthening their relationship, both during and after the course of treatment. 

Considering online counseling options

While traditional couples therapy offers many benefits, finding time to attend in-person sessions can be challenging for some couples. For those with busy schedules, children, or other outside commitments, online counseling may be a practical and flexible alternative. Platforms like Regain may be an attractive alternative, providing the ability to attend therapy from wherever is most convenient.

Advantages of online therapy

Furthermore, the ability to message a counselor at any time may be useful for couples with relationship questions that come up outside therapy hours. 

Effectiveness of online couples therapy

Internet-based couples therapy has been shown to be as effective as in-person therapy. Different studies have found that not only does online relationship counseling yield similar results as in-person counseling, but that it can even enhance the sense of connection between couples and their counselor.

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Have questions about your relationship?

Takeaway

There is never a wrong time to check in on the strength of your relationship and work to make it stronger. The questions above may help you get a sense of where things stand with your partner and identify areas you would like to address. Subjects like communication, alignment on goals, and trust are all topics worth exploring, whether on your own, with your partner, or with a counselor. If you would like outside support in improving the health and longevity of your relationship, online relationship counseling through a platform like Regain may also be a valuable resource.

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