Positive Relationship Affirmations To Help You Thrive

Positive affirmations are considered by many to be a simple tool that you can use anywhere to help shift your mindset to a more positive place. Many people may choose to use affirmations to support healthy relationship experiences, since your perspective may influence how you interact with your partner. 

Below, we’re exploring what affirmations are and the possible benefits you can gain by using them. We’ll also be providing a list of affirmations you can use today for your relationship and the tools you need to create your own. 

What are affirmations?

An affirmation is generally defined as a statement or proposition that you are declaring to be true. You can choose to speak these sayings with the same confidence as if they were true, even if you haven’t physically seen them come to pass yet.  Affirmations can be used as often or as repeatedly as needed, and can help to call your focus to one of hope rather than worry or frustration in the present. 

What are the benefits of using affirmations?

Below are some of the benefits that you can enjoy with regular use of affirmations: 

Experiencing feelings of gratitude

Gratitude can be a helpful tool for your overall health and happiness. 

Some affirmations you use can have gratitude woven directly into them. For example, you can create an affirmation that is a statement confirming something you’re grateful for about your partner — such as “I love when my partner listens to me”.

You also might discover that by focusing on what you want your relationship to be like, you notice more of the positive traits your partner already has. Then, you’ll start to feel an even greater sense of gratitude for having them in your life.

Noticing more positive aspects of your relationship

Similar, to how affirmations can foster an attitude of gratitude, they may also help you notice more of the positive things that happen in your relationship because it’s what you’re focused on. 

This concept doesn’t mean that you avoid problems in the relationship. Instead, it’s a way to streamline communications and minimize conflict as much as possible. Many may find that when you’re keeping track of the great character traits your partner has, rather than their flaws, you may come from a more loving place when you have to resolve a conflict.

Reducing defensiveness

The Oncology Nursing Society notes that people who use affirmations as a regular part of their lives may be less defensive when faced with feedback, scientifically suggesting that this form of positivity and self-discipline increases resiliency. You may be more receptive to what your partner has to say as a direct result of your use of affirmations.

Providing perspective when you (or your partner) have a bad day

When you’re able to focus on the good in your situation more often than the things that could be perceived as negative, it might help you realize that these bad days aren’t permanent. Affirmations can be a powerful tool to help you do this. Regular use of affirmations can boost resiliency and potentially offer a healthier perspective if you or your partner are having a difficult time. 

The list of affirmations

Here are some relationship affirmations you can use with your partner.

1. “We’re having fun” as a shared affirmation for positivity

This is a simple affirmation you can use anytime you’re feeling yourself entering a negative spiral. It can be a helpful tool to take the stress out of the situation, encouraging you to let loose a little and lean into the joy that you are currently experiencing.

You may notice that this affirmation uses  “we” instead of “I,” which can allow both parties to participate in it. 

You can use these same modifications for any affirmation on this list to turn a positive personal development opportunity into a joint venture — together. 

2. I open myself fully to give and receive love

This affirmation is inspired by Katherine Woodward Thomas’s book, Calling In “The One.” She generally combines it with a heart-opening exercise from yoga, potentially increasing the benefit you can get from this affirmation and supplementary action. We’ve summarized the exercise portion below: Try to sit comfortably, as if you’re about to meditate. Close your eyes and bring your arms out in front of you, parallel to the ground. If you can, you may try to keep your palms together for additional benefit.. When you breathe in, try to open your arms and stretch them as far back as you can comfortably. As you do this, consider filling your lungs as you visualize your heart expanding. Then, you can say the affirmation as you do so. 

When you exhale, you can bring your arms around again, so your palms are touching. You can then repeat the cycle to continue to center and ground yourself in the moment. 

Adding an affirmation to your action or using visualization has been scientifically suggested to make the exercise more impactful. With repetition, current scientific evidence suggests that you may create new pathways in your brain that correspond to this affirmation.

3. I am worthy of love and belonging

This affirmation was inspired by the work of Professor Brené Brown. She discovered that people who believe (and live) this statement generally may have the highest overall level of emotional and mental well-being, as well as courage and shame resilience. 

Feeling connected is generally an important concept to our interpersonal relationships. In many cases, feeling worthy of love and belonging is the first step to being connected.

4. I only attract healthy, loving relationships

This affirmation affirms your human right to be treated with respect and love, while potentially supporting your ability to find the correct and most loving relationships that suit your needs in that moment.

If you believe that you’re experiencing an abusive relationship or fears from a past relationship, you may benefit from speaking with a therapist. They can support you in building confidence and help you learn to identify healthy relationship patterns in your own life. 

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

5. I am connected to everyone and everything

This is another affirmation inspired by Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work. While it can be valuable to have a partner who cares for you, they’re generally not the only relationship in your life. Strengthening your ties to your family, friends and environment can support your confidence in your intimate relationships. 5 Steps To Make Your Own Affirmations 

We do want to note: While there is not generally a “wrong way” to make an affirmation, doing so in an organized or strategic way may help you to get more impactful benefits. 

For many, affirmations are:

• Stated in the present tense
• Stated in the first person (ex. I am, I have, I love)
• Focused on the positive or desired outcome related to their subject 
• Emotionally charged (meaning that you feel something when you say or read them)
• Believable to you

Many people may choose to create and use affirmations that are constructed as if what you want for your relationship is happening right now to you. For example: If a limiting belief you have about your relationship is: “My partner never listens to me,” you may make an affirmation that states:  “My partner listens to me sometimes,” or “My partner listens to me when I ask them to”.

How to create your own affirmation

When you choose affirmations that you can believe in, it can make them more impactful to your experience. A therapist can support you in determining what this may look like in your specific situation. 

Step one: Identify your needs in your affirmation

This step generally involves choosing one thing you feel would make the biggest positive impact on your life and relationship. You can do this by identifying your needs — or, if you feel fulfilled, dreaming even bigger to a better reality. 

Step two: Define how you want your need to be met

This step is usually where you decide how you want to feel, and what you want to happen as your needs are met. This generally takes the form of a positive statement. 

Step three: Put your affirmation in the present tense and first-person

• Now that you have the basic idea for your affirmation, it can be helpful to put it in the present tense. Doing this may help you notice evidence of it happening in the here and now. You may also choose to put it in the first person for extra personal meaning if that suits your needs. Example of this include: “I feel loved”.
• “I enjoy spending time with *your partner’s name here* often”.
• “My relationships make me feel safe and relaxed”.

I, me, and my are all generally noted to be first-person pronouns. If you’d like to create an affirmation with your partner, you can use “we” or “our” instead.

Step four: Ask yourself: How does it make you feel?

Putting yourself into a future where your affirmation is a reality can elevate you to a higher, more positive mindset. You may ask yourself: What would it be like if what I wanted were happening right now? You might also consider: 

• How would you feel?
• How would you act?
• Would you dress differently?
• Would you treat other people differently?
• Would other people act/treat you differently?

Step five: Repeat it 

You may choose to spend some time learning and indulging in your affirmation. You can also speak it aloud, say it in your head, or write it down. Adding repetition and emotion to your affirmations can make them more effective. You may choose to make your affirmations into a habit by pairing them with another activity. You could say them whenever you’re stopped at a red light, or you could also say them in your head while you brush your teeth — choosing a time that fits seamlessly into your schedule. 

How can online therapy support those in relationships? 

If you’re looking for extra personal support as you navigate relationships, or you simply want assistance creating more healthful relationship patterns, online therapy can be a resource to facilitate this. While many couples may be unsure about starting traditional in-person therapeutic methods, online therapy can be a more approachable and reachable option, — presenting comparable benefits in a convenient way for most. 

Our personal state of mental and physical health generally dictates how we are able to function in relationships. Online therapy has been shown to be clinically effective to support those living with mental health conditions (such as anxiety disorder, depression, and bipolar disorder) according to a recent meta-analysis cited by the National Council on Aging.

By resolving any underlying concerns, online therapy can be a helpful tool to enhance one’s support and satisfaction in their intimate relationship(s). 

Takeaway 

Positive affirmations can be a useful tool for many in their relationships. Generally, affirmations are constructed in a future tense, first-person way — potentially making them more impactful to you. Taking the time to create your own affirmations can keep you in a consistently more positive mindset, which can have a positive ripple effect in your personal life and interpersonal relationships. Online therapy can be a useful tool to support healthy relationships. Regain can connect you with a therapist in your area of need.