Sexy Ways To Spice Up Your Relationship: Effective Strategies Besides Sex Toys

Updated October 31, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Want to learn more ways to keep your relationship exciting?

Feeling cute in childhood is often wonderful: if a child feels cute, they might enjoy putting on twirly dresses and spinning around. If a child feels cute, they may stomp happily amongst trucks and dinosaurs, blissfully pretending to be a monster causing mayhem. As you grow, though, the term "cute" usually grows increasingly frustrating and no longer inspires joyful play. Being called cute often feels like something of a slap in the face, especially in adulthood, as it persistently conjures images of youth, perhaps some naiveté, and innocence. While this can be nice when talking to your grandparents, most adults do not want to be told they are cute and instead prefer more aggrandizing adjectives.

The word "cute" is usually used to denote a person or thing that elicits feelings of admiration, adoration, or affection. Although it is not a negative quality, per se, it can feel rude or insensitive to call someone cute who does not wish to be seen as young, inexperienced, or otherwise worthy of being admired or adored. Cute typically precludes passion, sex, or fire and instead suggests comfort and safety. Relationships need comfort and safety, but they need a little bit of passion and fire, as well.

Cute is not negative in and of itself; one study found that something being cute actually triggered such overwhelming positive responses that people grow overwhelmed and feel like they cannot handle it. This alone could be why some people do not equate "cute" with "sexy"; the very act of being cute inspires joy and a sense of peace, rather than inspiring excitement and a little bit of fear.

Cute and sexy: A comparison

Being cute can refer to physical characteristics, such as large eyes, a full face, or a wide smile but can also refer to mental characteristics or mannerisms. A cute person is likely to be someone who does or says things that are endearing, sweet, or kind. Typically, cute people speak in a way that inspires love or affection, whether through the way they speak (a soft voice and unique affectations) or the things they say. A cute person might find small, unique things to get excited about or feel passion for. There is no single definition of cute; different people find different characteristics, mannerisms, and behaviors worthy of the word.

Sexy will differ from person to person, but some characteristics are typically associated with being sexy. Confidence is one of the most significant traits that is usually considered sexy; confident men and women are more attractive, largely because they are unafraid and open to new things. Self-awareness and devotion to oneself are also seen as sources of sex appeal, and they also yield wonderful results for the person, themselves, and their partner.

Effective strategies besides sex toys and new positions


Spicing up your relationship is not a recipe for lasting relationship happiness, but it can help a relationship that has grown stagnant or stale. When spicing up a relationship, the most common thread is a novelty: trying new things, engaging in new behaviors, or recalling long-forgotten habits can all assist you and your partner in engaging with one another in exciting, fresh ways and bringing a spark back to your relationship.

Spicing up: Sex

When couples first begin talking about spicing up their sex life, there is usually a rote list of possibilities to try: toys, joint pornographic viewing, or a new position. Although these may prove helpful for some couples, they can also grow stale or invite further or different relationship issues. When you want to spice up the bedroom or sex life, one of the most important things to implement is improved openness and honesty. If something you have wanted to try but feared rejection, bringing it to light can help spice up your relationship.

Speaking with a therapist might seem like something drab or distinctly non-sexual, but meeting with a sex therapist can actually be a wonderful way to keep your sexual relationship alive and well. Sex therapists are often great sources for improving communication, easing sexual trauma between partners, and providing avenues for improving a sexual relationship.

Spicing up your sex life usually involves improving your connection. Few couples who are truly connecting complain about lackluster or unsatisfying sex. One of the simplest and most effective ways to improve connection is to touch. Kissing, holding hands, and lying naked together-all of these can have a powerful, positive effect on your intimacy and love life.

Spicing up: Day-to-day

Make a point of touching your partner in non-sexual ways. Although sex is a wonderful way to bring more spice spark into a relationship, sexuality and sensuality require far more than just a quick romp. Expressing sexuality and sensuality in your day-to-day life can look different for everyone. Eating rich meals together, where you can both focus on the pleasure you are experiencing or taking time to dance to a song you really love, can be valuable, useful ways to demonstrate your vitality.

Trying new things as a whole is a wonderful way to spice up your day-to-day routine. New things do not have to be big, dramatic, or expensive; scheduling a date night can be a way to try something new and choose a new meal to eat at one dinner each week. Trying one new local activity per month is also a simple yet unique way to bring some novelty into your relationship and provides the added benefit of stimulating your local economy and growing stronger roots in your town or city.

Spicing up: Communication

Although lying is never a healthy thing for a relationship, not divulging every single aspect of you and your life can be. Work information, for instance, can stay with treasured coworkers for a time, and family matters can stay with your family. Again, this does not have to be (and should not be) a permanent ban but can be useful over a short period of time.

When you and your partner were first starting, how often did you laugh and play together? At the beginning of relationships, most couples find laughter to be a constant companion and an important determinant in whether they feel close and "plugged in" to one another. Recalling the times that you laughed together can actually be as important as creating new memories.

Can you be cute and sexy?

Although the two traits are usually seen as mutually exclusive, it is possible to be both cute and sexy-sometimes simultaneously and sometimes in varying levels and degrees over time. Whether your partner more frequently calls you cute or dubs you sexy, your relationship's goal is to keep the love alive and well-fed, which can be achieved with both cute traits and sexy traits. Spicing up your relationship is far less about being overtly sexual and far more about connecting with your partner, improving your communication habits, and cultivating a strong sense of companionship, safety, and openness.

Whether you are a part of a couple or a part of a marriage, relationships do take hard work. While much of this work might center around seemingly boring or mundane things, keeping the spice in your relationship alive is actually one of the most important parts of this work. It should include all aspects of your life, including your daily routines, your sexual habits, and your communication habits. Just as your partner can be a source of immense pleasure and immense comfort, you, yourself, can be both an acute human being and a sexy one.

Cute and sexy ways to spice up your relationship

Want to learn more ways to keep your relationship exciting?

Spicing up your relationship might at first seem daunting but accepting yourself is one of the first steps in making sure that you and your partner are engaged in the strongest, healthiest, and sexiest relationship possible. For some, this is a matter of practicing better engagement with one another, while for others, this requires some inner work to accomplish. A therapist-or even a team of therapists-might be involved for you on your own or for you and your partner as a unit to make sure that the two of you are well-equipped to embark on putting your relationship first and creating a strong and healthy partnership.

Takeaway

Getting lost in routine-whether that is routine in your day-to-day, your communication habits, or your sex life-can spell trouble for your relationship. Being cute is an innate part of who you are and is not too much; instead, it is likely one of the reasons your partner fell in love with you. If you self-identify as cute or have frequently been labeled as such, your relationship does not have to suffer; cuteness is neither a roadblock to being sexy, nor is it an indication of marital dissatisfaction.

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